Hidden Barriers

by Sara Shirley

  “You are going to stop talking about cake right now,” Josh says as he begins his torturous attack by tickling my sides. Laughter consumes me, and I realize he has stopped tickling.

  “What?” I ask.

  “That laughter and smile on your face just then, mixed with your sassy mouth, are what sets you above every other girl for me. That warms my heart and completes my day like you have no idea,” Josh says as he kisses me slowly.

  I pull away and hold his eyes with mine. “Right here. This moment. You and me. This is by far better than a room full of candy. I’ve never felt this happy with anyone, ever.”

  The feeling of sleeping in your own bed is comforting in and of itself. When you fall asleep in the arms of a beautiful woman, that’s peace. The moment you wake up next to the woman who’s quickly taking your heart in her hands, comfort and peace cease to exist. This is absolute euphoria.

  I’ve been lying here watching her sleep for a while now. The sun has been slowly creeping its way into the room through her windows, illuminating the glass chandelier over her bed. Rainbow prisms dance against her walls as I gently push aside a stray hair, so I can just watch her sleep.

  I already knew I was quickly falling for her, but after last night, I knew she was it for me. Yeah, true, we’ve only known each other for a short time, but when you know, you know. There is still so much about her that’s a mystery, but I could spend the rest of my days willing to find out.

  Lying here, facing her, I push that pesky stray hair from her face again and wonder how it was that any man, let alone her ex-boyfriend, could ever want to hurt her. The heinous things he did sickens me. What could have run through his head to want to take her life? She’s the most angelic creature, and I have to wonder what could have been.

  Where would I be now if Stone actually succeeded in killing her that night? My body tenses immediately at the idea of her not being here with me. Even now, I don’t have any power to help keep that asshole behind bars, but I’m definitely going to find out everything I can about the fucker, and I will protect Sam the best I can. If that means giving my life for her, then I’ll do it. If I already took an oath to serve and protect strangers, I will gladly put my life on the line for her.

  The sound of my phone vibrating next to me interrupts my thoughts. Rolling over, I catch the messages on my screen. Apparently, I’ve missed a few since last night, including a missed text from Nick asking where I was and who I was doing, one from Courtney to let me know Jeremy would be home in the afternoon and Mom wants us all over on Sunday, and another text from Tarryn asking if I want another go this afternoon.

  I quickly send responses to all of them, except one. Tarryn. My fingers hover over the keypad as I turn to admire the woman sleeping next to me. I turn back to my phone and don’t hesitate on my response.

  It’s over Tarryn. I’m moving on. Don’t text or call me again.

  After turning off my phone before sliding it back onto the nightstand, I start to roll over toward her again when a soft knock sounds at the door. My eyes move to look over my shoulder as the door slowly creaks open. Lucy pushes her arms through, holding two cups of coffee, but her eyes are squinted shut. “I can’t see anything, just in case anyone is naked,” she whispers as she tries to find her footing.

  I slowly roll out of bed, attempting not to wake Sam. I make my way toward Lucy until I’m able to grab the coffee mugs from her hands. The freshly brewed aroma is inviting and instantly perks me up. The easy late night pick me up for cops. At two in the morning, this is my go-to drink when driving the empty highways doesn’t do any good to stay awake. Coffee is even better first thing in the morning when you have absolutely nothing to do all day, but enjoy another woman’s company.

  As I take a sip from one of the mugs, I look at Lucy who still has her eyes shut. “It’s okay, Lucy. We’re dressed.” She blinks open her eyes while checking out the room. “Thanks for the coffee,” I say, taking another sip of the overly sweetened morning wake me up. Clearly, this was made for Sam.

  “Sure, I figured you’d need it after I saw the bottle of near empty Jack downstairs. How is she? I mean, did she tell you?” Lucy asks softly, so she doesn’t wake Sam who has begun to stir slightly in bed.

  “Yeah.” I look over at Sam and remember every painful word she spoke last night. “She told me. That fucker gets anywhere near her again, he’s going to have to go through me,” I vow.

  “Let’s just hope he stays where he is. She’s not been herself for weeks, and I want my fun-loving bestie back,” Lucy mutters before retreating toward the door again. “Well, I’ll be downstairs getting ready. Make sure she’s up in another hour. We’ve got derby practice at noon and kickboxing and spin class after that. Derby opener is just a few weeks away,” she points out before heading down the hall. Was that an invite or a demand? Either way I plan to see Sam in action.

  Shutting the door quietly behind me, I head back to Sam, placing the steaming mugs of coffee next to the bed before climbing back in next to her. I wrap my arm around her waist, feeling her push her sexy ass against my dick before yawning and blinking her eyes open. She squints as the bright sun blinds her while she starts stretching, and her ass continues to rub in all the right places.

  “Sam, I’m asking you nicely, because I’m about to lose all control over my actions, but please stop moving your ass over my dick unless you plan on taking this relationship to a whole other level.” Seriously, one more grind from her, and I will pin her underneath me and slam my dick so deep she’ll be unable to speak.

  “Another level, huh?” she asks as she rolls over me until her legs straddle me and her chest rests against mine. Her body screams I’m yours for the taking, but her eyes say something different. They’re tantalizing and playful at the same time. A sly smile forms on her lips before she moves her breasts up along my pecks. Pushing herself up, she stretches her arms above her head as I get a glimpse of her bare stomach peeking out and begging for me to kiss it. Damn it. Get your mind off sex, Josh.

  Easier said than done when Sam’s heated core is causing my dick to stir, even more knowing how close we are at the moment.

  Sam continues to keep her eyes on mine as she leans forward again, reaching around my head as she comes back with the mug of coffee. Seriously?! I’m about to burst out of my pants because of this little sugarcoated vixen, and she wants coffee right now? That’s it. I can’t take it anymore.

  “Sam, put down the coffee.”

  “But?”

  “I’m two seconds away from tearing off your clothes and giving you something better than coffee, cake, candy, or whatever other food you are addicted to. So, I will ask you one more time, put down the coffee.”

  “No!” she barks.

  Shaking my head in disbelief while rubbing my hands over my face, I look up at her. “Are you certain that’s the answer you want to give me?”

  She shakes her head in return as if my question was preposterous. “Of course, that’s my answer. I have coffee. See,” she says, pointing to her mug as she takes a sip. “Nothing you can do right now will make me put this down.”

  “Nothing? Are you sure?” I muse.

  “Yep. Nothing.”

  Bringing my cupped hands up to my lips, I blow hot air into each of them before rubbing them together in a teasing manner. She asked for this. Moving slowly, I run my hands along her thighs on either side of me. Then, I graze my thumb above the waist of her lounge pants. Her eyes suddenly widen as the coffee mug remains still against her lips. Her body quivers, and I notice her breathing has become fast-paced, almost panting. I slide my fingers under the waistband of her pants, only to discover she’s not wearing any underwear.

  “No fuckin’ underwear? Are you kidding me right now?” I roar. “Sam, really, I can’t…”

  Leaning over, she places her coffee mug back onto the nightstand before pulling her arms out of the sleeves of her shirt. “Well, if you can’t, then I will, dipshit,” she says before pulling the fleece ov
er her head as she sits hovering over my dick wearing nothing more than a bra and lounge pants. I try to keep my mind focused, but it’s becoming impossible. Groaning back in agony, I continue to watch her prolong her agonizing attack on my body.

  My hands clench tightly against her thighs as her hands slip suddenly below my shirt, and she begins running her delicate fingers over my skin. I shut my eyes as every muscle in my body tenses. Then, I feel her body move above me until her hands push up my shirt, leaving her body flush against mine.

  The sensation is weakening my resolve by the second. I can withstand the high-speed car chases and some of the most dangerous criminals the state has to offer, but this sassy brunette has me on my knees begging for more. Never, and I mean never, would I ever expect to find so much in a woman I wasn’t even looking for.

  My eyes reopen, and I see her face inches from my own. “So, what was it you were saying you couldn’t do? Because if I remember correctly, you did promise to make me ‘feel like a queen,’ and I hate waiting.” She winks at me as I recall saying those exact words.

  I let out a deep laugh because she clearly isn’t ready for what I’m thinking can make her feel like the queen she should feel like, but my dick has other ideas as I grab her by the waist and look her dead in the eyes. “You want to feel what I can give you? Are you sure? Once I start, I’m not stopping, Sam. If you want this, you tell me.”

  Sitting back up, she straddles me and reaches up to push her bra straps off her shoulders before undoing the clasps behind her. Pulling the bra away from her body, she tosses it aside and I’m left with nothing but one of the most amazing views I’ve ever seen. Sam straddling me as her long, curled, brown hair cascades against her naked skin. The ends of her hair tease me as they barely cover her perky breasts and hardened nipples.

  “Touch me, Josh,” she commands as she wraps her hands over mine to bring them up to her breasts. I’m at her beckoning wish the moment she places my hands over her tits. I gently massage my hands with hers, and my dick throbs within my pants, wanting to be somewhere else at the moment. All in due time. Slow and steady will win this race. She doesn’t deserve a morning quickie.

  “Sam, tell me what you want. I need to know what’s running through your mind,” I plead with her to tell me she wants to know what it feels like to have me inside her.

  “I want to feel you, Josh. All of you. Right now.” She bites her lower lip and pulls her hair up into her hands before letting it fall against her back.

  Before she even knows it, I’ve moved so quickly she’s already on her back. Staring back at her, I place gentle kisses along her stomach as I inch closer to her core. I wrap my fingers under her pants before looking up at her for the green light. Her eyes are still trained on mine, but she gives me a nod, allowing me to continue with my slow movement in removing her pants.

  Slowly I start pulling down her pants, unaware of how perfect her shaved pussy is until the minute I have all of her right in front of me. Tossing her pants over my shoulder onto the floor, I just stare at Sam, her naked form lying there. I’m speechless. “Fuck, Sam. You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on,” I say before I see her scoot up to me as I sit back on my knees.

  Her hands make quick work of pulling my shirt over my head, but hesitate at my zipper. She looks unsure of how to proceed. I grab her chin in my fingers and lean down to kiss her passionately rather than with desire. I need to make her mine, but a part of me is just as nervous as she is. I pull back and wrap her in my arms as our skin warms each other.

  “Talk to me, Sam.”

  “I don’t have any condoms,” she says timidly.

  “That’s what’s stopping you right now?” I ask softly. She nods back. I pull away to find my jacket on the back of the chair and reach into the pocket to pull out a packet I put there yesterday. Fuck. I stare back at it, knowing I didn’t put it there for her. You are scum. Using a condom that was put there for use on another woman, one you fucked just hours before you came here. My hand shakes as I hold the condom until I hear her voice from behind me.

  “Is everything okay?”

  I turn around and see her lying there waiting for me. “Yeah, I found a condom in my coat. You’re absolutely sure you want to do this?”

  “Josh, why do I get the feeling I’m the one who wants this more than you do?”

  As I make my way over to the bed, unzipping my pants on the way and dropping them to the floor, my last thought before I make her mine is just how long I’ll be able to live with the guilt of fucking two women in less than twenty-four hours. How long can I keep that information from the one my feelings are growing deeply for? I know I need to tell her the truth, but honestly, I’m not ready to lose her, too.

  Something isn’t quite right with Josh as he pulls the condom from his jacket. Thoughts run through my head, wondering why he would have one if we’ve only just started working on this relationship. I squash that thought as I remember he’s a guy. Most guys usually carry those things around, right? It’s not as though he’s a teenager; he’s only a couple of years older than me, but I’m almost certain he’s been more sexually active than me the last few years.

  Just so we’re clear. I’m on the same level as a nun in the sex department these days. It’s been far too long of a vacation for this cupcake.

  Granted, I feel safe with him and am surprised by how quickly I have been able to trust him. Perhaps I was able to physically handle being with a guy all these years. I just never tried. I never wanted to, but with Josh, there’s a connection I can’t place. It’s as though he understands my pain, only on another level.

  I’ll never admit to Josh that I’m freaking out about having sex with him, but how will I know my limits if I don’t push myself? I’m supposed to be a fighter, a scorer. Well, the truth is, I need to score right now, but I’m not entirely sure Josh is as ready to pop my re-virginized cherry as I am to let him do it.

  Josh finally makes his way back to my bed. “It’s about time you made up your mind. Do you even know how cold it is lying here naked?” I tease him.

  “Listen, you. I’m not rushing this with you,” he says, reaching out to stroke his thumb along my cheek. “And, if you haven’t already noticed, I’m almost as naked as you are. It’s not my fault the house is freezing right now.”

  “Oh, so that explains it.”

  “That explains what?”

  “That explains why it’s so small.”

  “Woman! I will make sure you know just how not small my dick is as it’s hitting all the right spots inside you.”

  “Well, what are you waiting for? I’m not getting any younger here. Seems as though you’re all talk and no action, Josh.”

  “All tal—” He stops mid-word. “Are you for real? That’s it. It’s on!”

  He swiftly drops his boxer briefs, and I see just how not cold he is. He strokes himself a few times before kneeling on the bed and stalking toward me. A devilish grin seeps across his face, and I know I’m in trouble. My heart pounds as he planks himself over my frame.

  “I know you’re nervous, but I’ll go slowly, okay?” he says, pushing my hair back from my face before placing a tender kiss upon my lips. I reach up to hold his face in my hands and feel my breathing accelerate, and suddenly, I’m no longer cold in the room with him near me. My body feels as if I could catch on fire right now.

  Josh moves a hand down over my breast, past my stomach until he’s closing in on my core. I watch him as his fingers inch slowly to open my folds and begin tenderly rubbing my clit. “Holy shit,” I say, slamming my head back against my pillow. Pulling up my leg slightly to give Josh easier access, he teases me some more before putting his hand to his mouth to lick his fingers. He watches my reaction as my eyes tell him one thing, but my body says another.

  I consider the thought of reaching out to stroke his hardened cock as he prepares me for what’s about to happen, but before I have the chance to move my hand, a slickened finger is already back on me
, circling my entry.

  “Do you want my fingers inside you, Sam?”

  “Yes, God, yes.”

  “Do you want my dick in you more?”

  “Mmmm Hmmm.” I nod, as words are not generating from my lips anymore. He pushes two fingers inside me, and I feel myself tighten around him almost instantly.

  “Fuck, you do that to my dick, and it’s going to be hard for me to keep my promise.”

  “What promise is that?”

  “To make you feel amazing.”

  “Josh, if you don’t slide your cock inside me right now, I will finish myself off without your help.”

  “Damn, are you always this feisty in bed? Don’t worry, sugar. I’m just getting warmed up. The only thing you’ll be screaming is my name in about five minutes.” I give him my best are you kidding me look, and he realizes what he said and corrects himself. “Okay, ten minutes.”

  “Phew, I feel better now.”

  Josh pulls his fingers from my now dripping core to grab the condom from the end of the bed. While he tears it open, I watch as something flashes across his face, but I can’t place it. Within seconds, he’s rolling it over his hard length and moving above me. I adjust my legs to allow him to rest between them as he gauges my reaction.

  My heart is beating so loudly that it’s ringing in my ears. Josh lowers his mouth to my nipple and begins sucking it gently into a hardened bud. His hand massages my other breast as he causes my stomach to do somersaults with all the newfound emotions running through my body. To my surprise, not a single one of those emotions is fear. I can handle this. I can handle him. Maybe he’s what I’ve been waiting for all these years, and I never knew it. Damn Kim and her fate talk.

  Josh releases my nipple from his mouth and looks down at his cock seated above my entry. “Sam, I need to know you’re all right with this. We don’t have to do anything if you don’t feel ready.”

  “Josh, I think I was always meant to find you. This…us…it feels right. I know I’m okay with this. Please, let me feel you inside me.”