The Lies That Define Us

by Micalea Smeltzer

  I inhaled a shaky breath. “I-I’m a virgin.”

  Oh God. I can’t believe those words just came out of my mouth. I hadn’t meant to tell him. I mean, he would’ve figured it out, but—

  “Are you serious?” He looked at me wide-eyed, holding his weight above me with his hands on either side of my head.

  I nodded, unable to read his facial expressions.

  He licked his lips, looking at me with a newfound desire. When his eyes locked on mine again, he said, “I haven’t had sex since…well, since…”

  I gasped. “What?”

  “Sleeping around doesn’t appeal to me. I know most people would assume otherwise, but that’s not me. I need to feel something, and I do. With you.”

  I leaned up, pressing my lips softly to his. His tongue parted my lips, and I shivered, my stomach clenching in anticipation.

  My hands wound around his neck, pressing against his smooth and warm skin.

  His chest pressed against mine, his mouth devouring me.

  My pants filled the air as his hands roamed my body, lower, lower, lower.

  “Ari?” he questioned.

  “Please,” I begged, “oh God, please touch me.”

  He buried his head in the crook of my neck at the same time I felt his fingers slide inside. I gasped and he stifled the sound with his mouth. My hips moved against his fingers, rocking slowly in a rhythm all their own.

  My brain fogged over, all thoughts disappearing except for the pleasure I felt. I closed my eyes and whimpered. I’d never felt anything like that, and when I’d imagined sex it had never felt like that.

  “Ari,” Liam whispered my name over and over again.

  I cried out, lights bursting behind my eyes.

  Liam quieted my cries with whispered endearments and his soft kisses. When I opened my eyes, the world around me seemed brighter—more clear.

  “Are you ready?” His fingers slipped from me and he grasped my hips in both hands. I swallowed thickly and nodded. “I’m not going to lie to you, this is going to hurt, but it’ll be okay. Just look at me, right at me.” He nodded, waiting for me to make eye contact with him. “Look at me,” he whispered again in a soft moan. “Listen to my voice. Relax.”

  I took a deep breath, locking my eyes on his as he rolled on a condom.

  “It’s going to be okay,” he assured me.

  I nodded and then I felt him ease inside me. My eyes closed and he stopped.

  “Look at me,” he pleaded. “Remember, you have to look at me. I need to know you’re okay, and I can’t do that if your eyes are closed.”

  I blinked one eye open and then the other. His lips lifted in a half-smile.

  “I love you,” he told me, and then in one harsh thrust forward he was all the way inside.

  I let out a small scream, and a tear leaked from the corner of my eye.

  He hadn’t been lying. It hurt—even worse than I expected. He didn’t move for a moment, giving me a chance to recover and find my breath. I was thankful for that—he was so patient with me.

  When my heart had slowed a bit and I could breathe again, I nodded. “I’m okay.” He looked at me doubtfully. “I am,” I assured him.

  He lowered, and my breasts pushed up against his chest with every breath I took.

  “You’re perfect,” he murmured, taking one of my breasts in his hand.

  He began to move, slowly at first. The pain returned momentarily, but then it was gone, and I was left only with a feeling of fullness.

  “Liam,” I panted, my palms damp with sweat against his chest. “Oh God.” I began to move my hips in time with his.

  His hand skimmed my thigh in a feather-light touch, and I shivered from the sensation.

  The air between us was heavy and charged with emotion. The room could have burned down around us and I would have never noticed.

  His hands found mine, and our fingers clasped together.

  His mouth swallowed my gasps, and I quieted his groans.

  I’d been worried about sex—about my inexperience—but then, I had no fears. I belonged there in his arms. Maybe even as fucked up as my life had been it was all leading me to that moment. To him.

  With a cry, I came again and Liam wasn’t far behind me.

  Afterwards, he pulled out of me and disposed of the condom before crawling back into bed beside me. We both lay on our backs, but my body curled against his. His fingers rubbed soothing circles over the skin of my arm, and I traced random patterns on his chest.

  A tear leaked from my eye and landed in the crook of his arm where my head was cradled.

  “Ari?” His voice was laced with worry. “Are you okay? Did I hurt you? Why are you crying?”

  More tears came, and maybe it was because of what just happened, or maybe it was time, but before I could come to my senses, I blurted, “I was kidnapped.”

  Liam

  Silence filled the room.

  I couldn’t possibly have heard her right.

  She rolled out of my arms, curling into a ball. Her whole body shook with the force of her tears.

  “Ari?” I prompted, touching her arm.

  She flinched away from my touch, and I fucking hated that. I didn’t want her to shy away from me.

  “Ari, what did you say?”

  “Please don’t make me say it again,” she mumbled, her face pressed into the sheets.

  I climbed off the bed and pulled on a pair of boxers before pacing the length of the room. I tugged at the messy strands of my hair, trying to process what she said.

  “You…you were kidnapped?” I questioned, stopping in front of her. “Ari, please fucking look at me. I’m going crazy.”

  She turned her head away from the mattress and nodded once. Her eyes looked so lost but so fucking desperate for me to understand.

  I sat back down on the bed beside her and smoothed my fingers over her cheek. “You have to tell me more than that. I need to know.”

  She sniffled and rubbed at her cheeks. She grasped the sheets tightly in her clenched fists and wrapped the fabric around her body like it could protect her.

  “I don’t know where to start,” she whispered.

  “How about the beginning?” She took a deep, shaky breath and nodded. “Take your time,” I told her, smoothing her wild hair away from her forehead.

  I was still in shock, trying to process what she had said. Kidnapped? Ari was kidnapped? The words looped in my mind. I’d known she was hiding something, but I’d never imagined it was anything like that. I’d had so many questions for her too: When, where, why, how?

  How was probably my biggest question. How was she taken, and how did she get away? Or did she even get away? Was she rescued by police? Or—

  “I was fourteen,” her voice cracked on the words, “and I was walking home from school. Th-they came out of nowhere,” she stuttered, “and pulled me into an SUV. There were several of them—big, burly guys, and I couldn’t get away. They called me Scarlett, and I told them that it wasn’t my name, but all they did was laugh and tell me it was now.” She swallowed thickly, and I rubbed my thumbs over her cheeks, getting rid of the tears. “The one guy punched me, and I passed out. When I woke up, I was on a plane and no one would tell me anything. They slipped me something so I’d stop screaming and when I woke up again I was locked in a bedroom.” She bit her lip and more tears pooled in her eyes. “That’s when he came in.” Hostility filled her tone. “He’s known mostly as Blaise, but that’s not his real name. I don’t think anyone knows his real name. It’s safer for him that way.”

  “Safer for him?” I questioned.

  She nodded. “He deals in all things illegal—drugs, organs, human-trade. You name it, he does it.”

  “Human trade?” I latched onto that. “Did he sell you?”

  Her chin quivered and she looked away from me. “No, that’s not why he wanted me.”

  “Then why?” I was baffled. “He obviously never touched you, so why would he need you?”


  “He didn’t need me,” she spat, anger turning her face red. “I was an object to him. Something to sit in a corner and look pretty.” She wet her lips, and whispered, “He wanted me to marry his son…I left the week before our wedding was scheduled. I couldn’t do it, Liam,” she sobbed. “Oh God I couldn’t. I’d rather die than be his wife—be tied to that family in any way.” Sobs racked her body as I wrapped mine around her, holding her close.

  “Shh,” I whispered in her ear, rubbing my hand up and down her exposed arm. “It’s okay. You’re gone now.”

  She sniffled and rubbed her face. Speaking through her tears she said, “Don’t you see, Liam? I’ll never be gone. A part of me is always going to be trapped in that fucking house, still in his clutches.”

  “Hey, hey.” I held her close, and kissed the top of her head. “That’s not true.”

  “I wish I could forget it all,” she mumbled, burying her head in the crook of my neck.

  “How’d you get away?” I asked her. If this guy was as crazy as he sounded, I didn’t see how she managed that. Even a fighter like her.

  “He got sloppy. I guess with the wedding approaching he felt like my position in the family was secure, so he stopped having me guarded twenty-four-seven. I figured out the schedule I was being watched, and I slipped out during one of the off times. I boarded a bus with all the money I’d been able to take, and I ended up here. Talia and Ollie took pity on me, and then there was you,” she whispered, her fingers tracing my lips.

  I took her hand, winding my fingers through hers. “Why didn’t you go home? To your parents?”

  I saw shutters come down over her eyes and she yanked her hand from mine. She gathered the sheets against her chest and rolled out of bed, speed-walking into the bathroom and closing the door.

  I ran after her, but by the time I made it to the door, I heard the lock click in place. I tried the door anyway.

  “Ari?” I laid my palm flat against the cool wood of the door. “What did I say? Talk to me, please.”

  I heard the shower turn on and then she called out, “I don’t want to talk anymore, okay? Later, please?”

  I leaned my forehead against the door, both palms flat against it.

  I didn’t respond, because frankly I didn’t want to tell her it was okay. But what choice did I have? She’d dropped a major bomb on me, but she’d been keeping this a secret for four years, so I felt like I had to give her some space. She had to feel emotionally crippled.

  After a moment, I walked away from the door and dressed in a pair of khaki shorts and a gray t-shirt.

  I called for room service, and while I waited for it to arrive and Ari to emerge from the bathroom, I made myself comfortable on the bed and turned on the TV. I flipped through the channels until I found the one I was looking for. It was a sports channel covering the competition tomorrow, and they were currently going through the stats on each player.

  I sat up with interest when they got to me.

  They went over my stats at first, like they always did, and then it cut to the commentators. I turned up the volume and zeroed in on the screen.

  “Liam Wade shows promise. You know, Tim, I was doubtful about him. I mean, he’s a rock star’s kid so I figured this was a phase to try and gain some limelight, but the guy is good. He could come in and win it all. I wouldn’t be surprised.”

  “He’s good,” the other man agreed, “but he has a long way to go. A lot of these guys have been doing this professionally since they were fifteen and he’s only begun breaking into the scene.”

  “True,” the first man nodded, “but you can’t deny he has raw talent. Fan favorite Wyatt Perry might’ve met his match.”

  I threw my fist in the air in elation as the screen cut away to Wyatt’s stats.

  Hearing what the commentators had to say made me feel good. I could handle them saying I needed work, I knew I did because there’s always room for improvement, but neither of them said I didn’t belong, or that I’d only gotten to the competition because of who my dad was. That last was a rumor that circulated often, and it pissed me off like no other. My dad was a singer in a band, he had no ties to surfing, so when people acted like he’d somehow pulled strings to make my career happen, it more than stung.

  But what those guys said made me feel like I was finally starting to belong in the sport.

  There was a knock on the main door, and I stood from the bed to let room service in. They set up the food on the dining table and when they left I went to get Ari.

  “Ari?” I knocked on the bathroom door. “Breakfast is here.”

  “I’m not hungry.” Her voice was raw from crying.

  “You need to eat,” I pleaded with her, shaking the door handle. “Ari, please.”

  “Leave me alone. I need to be by myself right now.”

  My fists clenched at my sides, and I groaned into the room.

  I had never felt more helpless than I did at that moment. Leaving her alone, I took a seat at the dining room table. I barely touched my own food because I couldn’t feel hunger when I was so fucking worried about her.

  Pushing away the plate, I stood from the chair and went back to the bathroom. I didn’t say anything to her. Instead, I sank to the floor with my back against the door.

  Somehow, I knew she’d know I was there—that I was trying to comfort her in the only way I knew how.

  Time passed, and she didn’t open the door.

  I heard her in there, though, moving around and crying periodically with the occasional mumble.

  Eventually it was time for me to pick up my parents from the airport, so I picked myself up off the floor and sighed. “Ari, I have to go.”

  Nothing.

  But I hadn’t expected a response.

  I grabbed my wallet and phone. When I was out of earshot of the bathroom, I dialed Talia.

  She picked up after only one ring. “Liam?” She sounded surprised. I couldn’t blame her. I don’t think I’d ever called her before then.

  “Can you come stay with Ari? Ollie too. She’s not feeling well, and I have to get my parents from the airport. She’s in the bathroom, and I don’t expect her to come out any time soon, but I’d feel better if you guys were here.”

  “Yeah, of course, we’ll be there in a minute.”

  “Cool, thanks.”

  “It’s not a problem.”

  She hung up and in under a minute there was a light, hesitant knock on the door.

  I opened it up and Ollie whistled. “Whoa, and I thought our room was nice.”

  “I’ll be back soon,” I told them, easing toward the door. “I’m worried about her, so just keep an eye out.” I pointed at the bedroom.

  “We will,” Talia assured me. “You don’t need to worry.”

  “Thanks,” I said and ducked out the door.

  A car was already waiting downstairs to take me to the airport.

  The driver opened the door, and I slid into the back. I should’ve been focused on the competition, or even seeing my parents, but my thoughts were back with the girl crying in the bathroom. I wanted to hold her in my arms and tell her it would be all right, but I knew that would only be another lie shouted into the void.

  ***

  The plane was fucking late. My leg bounced up and down in nervousness as more time passed. Finally, after what felt like forever, I saw my parents coming down the escalator steps.

  They weren’t alone, though.

  A slow grin spread over my face when I saw my cousin, Willow, and her boyfriend, Dean, behind them.

  I cupped my hands around my mouth and shouted, “Is this a family reunion or what?”

  Around me, cameras flashed. I ignored them, for the most part.

  My mom and dad stepped off the escalator, and I hugged each of them and then Dean and Willow. That’s when I noticed one other person.

  “Grace? Is that you?”

  “Hey.” She waved, letting go of her suitcase to hug me.

  I hugged her back. �
�I haven’t seen you in years.”

  Grace was Dean’s little sister, and all of us had grown up together since we were close in age.

  I took a step back and looked her over. She was all grown up, and that fact only served as a kick in the gut for all I was missing out on back home. My distance had been my own doing, and it was time to change that.

  “Why are you here?” I asked her—not rudely, might I add.

  She shrugged. “It’s my last chance to get away before I leave for college, so I thought I might as well take advantage of that fact.”

  I put a hand over my heart and hissed through my teeth. “I’m wounded. I can’t believe you’re not here for me.”

  “Well there’s that, too,” she shrugged with a laugh, “but the beach was more important.”

  We began to head out of the airport and I stayed beside Grace. “So…college? I can’t imagine your dad is handling that well.” Grace’s dad was known for being overprotective of her—a lot like my uncle with Willow and her little sister Lylah.

  “No, he’s not,” she laughed, her high-heeled shoes clicking along the tiled floor, “but he doesn’t have much of a choice.”

  “What are you studying?”

  “Business,” she replied.

  I lifted my brows in surprise. “Good for you, Gracie.”

  “Thanks.” She smiled up at me as we reached the car.

  “I’m starving. Can we stop for lunch?” my dad asked as soon as we were all in the car.

  I wanted to say no, because all I wanted to do was get back to Ari—even if it was only to sit outside the bathroom door some more—but since I couldn’t say no without giving a reason why, I said, “Sure.”

  We ended up stopping at a small restaurant on the beach that sort of reminded me of Mo’s with its laidback vibe.

  Once we were seated and had ordered food and drinks, I addressed Dean and Willow who sat across from me. Clearing my throat, I said, “I want you both to know that I’m sorry for how I acted when you came to stay with me. I was an asshole, and I treated you both like shit. The last two years have been rough for me, but that’s still not an excuse to be a dick.” I rubbed the palms of my hands over my shorts. Apologizing was not my forte.