Cassie

by deMora, MariaLisa

  “The day she died.” Faith paused and swallowed, her throat clicking loudly. “It’s my birthday.” He nodded, because she was right. Although separated by hours, Faith’s birth in the early morning hours had landed on the same day her mother left this world. “Daddy.” Her voice cracked and she turned and buried her face against his shoulder. “Never mind.”

  “No, baby. Ask. Get this out. You can’t let it sit like that. Tell me what you need to know about that day.” He had a tiny niggling of an idea, but couldn’t bring it out yet, because if he were right, then this needed to be his baby girl’s ask.

  “Did I…did she die because of me? Did I kill Mom?”

  Hoss rocked backwards as tears filled his eyes. Dammit, no. “No, baby girl.” He heard the trembling in his own voice and cleared his throat, trying to swallow the tears. “No, sweetheart. You did not kill Hope. She had a condition. It’s got a name a mile long, but it basically means she had a cluster of veins in her head that put her at risk of stroke. Her death coincided with the end of the pregnancy and your birth, but those events weren’t what triggered it.” He shifted and lifted her, bringing his girl to his lap so she could curl her arms around his neck, knowing tears were already flowing down her face. “Your momma had fainting spells and headaches. She’d get mad at herself every time it happened, and boy, she was funny when she was pissed. I didn’t ever tell her I thought that about how she acted, because then she’d have gotten pissed at me, and that wasn’t funny.” He chuckled. “I hated when she got mad at me.” Hoss held his daughter tighter, giving her an admission of something he’d held close for all these years. “If I’d only taken her to a doctor we might have learned the cause of her episodes, but we might not have. The doc I talked to after she passed was clear on that. There wasn’t a single thing we could have done differently that would have extended her life after that cluster of veins gave way.”

  “I didn’t know that.” It took more than a minute for Faith to stutter out those few words, gulping sobs between each sound and Hoss smiled, feeling streams of salt pouring down his own cheeks. Pain and relief lay just under each of her words, and he’d given her the one taking away the other.

  “Now you do. You’ve been carrying this by yourself, haven’t you? Never said a word to Sammy, because he’d have come to me. And never said a word to me. Why not, Faynez? Why do this to yourself, honey?” He knew the answer, but it couldn’t be debated until it was out of her head and on the wind, so he needed her to say it aloud.

  “I…I didn’t want—” She stopped and shoved her face against his neck with a sob. Mumbled, her next words broke his heart. “I didn’t want to make you sad. You and Sammy got sad about Mom a lot. You got sad and didn’t like to talk about her much. Until Cassie. She’s fixed you somehow, and I couldn’t. Daddy, don’t be mad. I just couldn’t make you sad like that.”

  “What a burden you’ve carried, baby girl. Caring for Sammy and me at the cost of your own peace of mind. Never hide your fears and concerns. Never. It’s a lot easier to lay things out there and see what comes of it, instead of bottling it up inside.” He tightened his arms around her. “Thank you for trusting me with this now, Faith. It means a lot to me.”

  They sat like that for a long time, the light fading from the windows and shadows creeping across the floor to rest at his feet. Finally, when Faith’s tears had run their course, she loosened her grip on his neck and sat up, pushing at her hair with one hand. “Garrett’s coming over tonight.” He smiled and lifted a hand, stroking her hair behind her ear. “I should get busy with dinner.”

  “Nah, let’s order in tonight. You know what he likes from that Indian place, right?” She nodded. “Order that, and do me a favor?”

  She blinked at him and then grinned, the expression at odds with her still swollen eyes, but he loved her even more for not trying to hide her pain from him anymore. “Want me to text Cassie and see what she’d like for supper, too?”

  Oh, baby girl. His Faynez was going to be such a good woman. You see her, Hope? See what you made? “You got your old man’s number already? Man, I can’t slip anything past you these days.” He lifted her and set her on her feet, looking up from his seat. “I’d appreciate it, honey.”

  “I’m on it!” She took a couple steps and twisted, looking back at him. “Thank you, Daddy.”

  “Anything for you, baby girl. I love you.” God, how he loved her. She’s you all over, Hope. Their daughter was beauty and light wrapped up around a heart so big and good it was enough to take your breath away.

  “Love you, too.” In a whirlwind of flying hair, she was gone, running through the house to get her phone.

  That had been a week ago, and watching his baby girl relax was a blessing. Still, the idea she’d carried so much fear still tore at him, and when he talked it over with Cassie later, she’d empathized with both of them. Her take on it was Faith’s intelligence wouldn’t have let the confluence of dates go unnoticed, and her love for her father would have tried to protect him from what might be the most painful memory of all.

  The buzzer from the gate announced a visitor and Hoss’ heart rate doubled. She’s here. He walked to the front of the house and waited a beat as he pulled in a deep breath. Then he opened the door and strode out just as Cassie pulled up in the drive, the rumble of her pipes rattling his bones in a well-known way, just like the sight of her in her leathers and helmet rocked his heart familiarly. I love her.

  She tipped her head and gave him a grin, then worked through the process of parking the bike and dismounting. And she loves me, he reminded himself. I’m the lucky one here.

  “Get on up here, woman. I’m needin’ to wrap my arms around you.” That had been the second piece where he’d been torn, because as much as Faynez needed him here, Cassie had needed to be in her own space where she felt safest. She’d come here for two nights afterwards, but then had carefully told him she was going home. The look on her face told him she wanted him with her but would never ask, and he was grateful for her understanding that his kids had to come first, always. Which is why what I’m gonna ask her is the best possible solution. Parking select brothers in her kitchen was something she’d given in grudgingly on, and that was her silent understanding that he’d needed to know in his soul she was safe.

  He opened his arms wide and caught her as she ran to him, putting actions to his words and wrapping his arms tightly around her back and shoulders, cradling her head with the palm of one hand. Fingers in her hair, he tipped her head up, feeling her lips grazing along his throat in a way that had his dick interested. He angled her face and dropped his mouth to hers, starting slow, feeling the chill of the wind on her lips, chasing along the seam of her mouth with his tongue and eating down her moan as she opened to him. God, this woman.

  With a groan he broke the kiss slowly, ending with a soft peck, plucking at her lips gently, then sliding his mouth along her cheekbone until he whispered in her ear, “Fuckin’ missed you, Cassie. You feel so good.”

  She laughed, and the sound went right to his dick, too, bringing him to half-mast in two heartbeats. “You saw me last night.”

  He tightened his arms around her. “Yeah, but then you slept in your own bed. I was lonely.”

  Her grip on him loosened a moment, then tightened hard, like she couldn’t get close enough. “I was lonely, too.” Fuck yes, that’s the right answer.

  Stepping back, he tugged at her fingers, pulling her with him. When she smiled at him, the look on her face soft, he was struck then at how much she’d changed from the first time he remembered really seeing her. Snapshots rotated through his mind. That night in the gallery, where she’d only interacted with his agent, she’d kept her gaze on the art the whole time, ignoring even the one man who’d offered her wine. Then when Hoss had invited himself to her house, the stark fear on her features as she recognized him, the tiny breaks in her mask as she’d looked at his pieces on her walls. And now, standing in the sunshine outside his home, a place he wante
d more than anything to be her home, too.

  “Come here, baby, I want to show you somethin’.” Just inside, she paused and bent to unzip her boots, leaving them beside the wall, and he looked at them there, lined up with his and old pair of sneakers Sammy had left behind, Faynez’ favorite sandals at the end. She straightened, and he bent, pulling his boots out and moving them, placing hers between his and Sammy’s shoes. He stood and pulled her in front of him, looking down over her shoulder. “Better,” he murmured, his lips against her neck.

  “Okay.” She laughed softly. “Makes it look like I fit in here.”

  “You do, baby.” He rubbed his jaw along her cheek, chasing her with his scruff when she giggled and ducked away. “More than you know.” He moved and led her by the hand down the hallway. “You were here a couple of times, but things were hectic and busy. You didn’t get to see what I promised you all those months ago.” Cassie tipped her head to one side and studied him. He arched an eyebrow and nodded at the door. “Go ahead, this is me inviting you into my lair.”

  “Your lair.” She repeated his words with a laugh. “I thought the offer was to see your sketchy sketches.”

  “Oh, yeah, we’ll get there, too.” He nudged her arm with his fingertips, slipping his hand to press his palm flat against her low back. “Open the door, baby.” Hoss followed her into the studio, bracketing her waist with his hands when she stopped just inside, hands clasped in front of her mouth. “Here you go. This is where some of the magic happens. House, lights to gallery mode.” The shades lowered automatically as spotlights brightened to shine on the new groupings he and Faynez had set-up. Two prominently empty spaces separated them. Cassie took a tentative step forwards and then glanced back at him over her shoulder. “Yeah, go look your fill, baby. I want to hear what you think of everything.” She blinked, and he saw her lashes were clumped together, a sure sign she was near tears. “No cryin’, Cassie. These are the things that make me happiest, and sharin’ them with you is an honor.” He swept an arm out, asking, “Where ya wanna start?”

  He was startled when she turned and came back towards him, gaze locked on his face, the most serious expression he’d ever seen her wear making him cautious. She didn’t stop moving until she was pressed tight against him, arms wrapped around his neck. She rolled up to her toes and grazed her lips across his in a barely-there kiss, then followed that with firm pressure, mouth molding to his.

  It didn’t take him but a moment to get on board with her idea, and he took over the kiss, tipping his head to the side and deepening the caress until it seemed there was no beginning and end to either of them, just one long caress. Tongue slipping inside her mouth, he tasted her, swallowing down her moans when his hand rose to plump her breast, fingers lifting the bottom curve to weigh the softness in his palm. Her hips arched forwards against him and he wedged his thigh between her legs, giving her a firm surface to press against.

  Cassie’s fingers worked across his back, dipping to where his shirt tucked into his pants, rucking it up to flatten her palm on his skin. He groaned when her fingers curled, nails gliding in a light scrape across the ridges of his ribs. “What do you want, Cassie?” Mouth to her neck, he tangled his fingers in her hair and tilted her head to the side, placing hard, sucking kisses on her skin. “Hmmm?” He sank his teeth into the muscle of her shoulder, holding firm for a moment. “What does my baby need?”

  “You.” Thready and thin, she whispered to him, eyes closed and lost in the moment. “I want you. I just need you, Hoss.”

  He bent his knees and scooped her up bridal style, laughing as she squeaked adorably. “You already have me. Lock, stock, and barrel, you’ve a lifetime membership in my arms.”

  “Take me to bed?” Her smile faded and she stared into his eyes. “Love me?”

  “I already do,” he promised her, padding up the hallway and carrying her through the door into his bedroom. It was the work of moments to lay her on the bed, and a few giggling heartbeats later, he had her undressed to her underwear. She tugged his belt free, then unfastened his jeans. Hoss shoved them down and watched Cassie’s face as he stripped naked, his rigid cock bounding free to slap up against his belly. She pushed up on her elbows and reached behind her with one hand, loosening her bra. It joined the rest of their clothing on the floor and she lay back against his pillows with a confident smile. Snapshot, right there. “God, I love you.”

  Arranged at her side, he stroked along her cheek with the backs of his knuckles. “First time in your bed,” she murmured, turning her face to kiss his fingers.

  “First of many times in this bed.” He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, dusting kisses up her shoulder until he reached her mouth. With a moan, she opened to him, and he delved inside, reveling in her taste and willingness to go here with him. Her willingness to accept him, and everything that came with him. “Our bed, if you’re ready.” She tensed beside him, and then relaxed slowly, her mouth moving against his. “I want you here, Cassie. With me.”

  “What about my house?”

  He shrugged, “Keep it and rent it, or sell it. You need that security, then keep it. Maybe Sammy would rent from you. He’s looking to get out of apartment living these days.” He kissed her again, then dropped his mouth to one breast, trapping her nipple between his teeth as he teased it with broad circles from the tip of his tongue.

  “God, you don’t fight fair.” Her words were muffled, and he angled his eyes up to see she had a hand over her face, holding in the sounds he so wanted to hear. He reached and tugged it free, brought it down and placed it on the back of his head. “God, Hoss.” Sucking deeply, he cradled her other breast in his hand, tweaking and tugging at the nipple until he had it kneaded into a hard nub. Switching sides, he latched on and pulled her into his mouth, suckling like a babe until she couldn’t stay still, hips sliding back and forth across the covers, her leg thrown over his hip in a clear invitation.

  Dipping a hand between her legs, he stroked the satin of her panties against her opening, grunting when he found her soaking the fabric already. “So wet for me, baby.” Palming her core, he used his nails to scrape at the inside of her thigh, tugging her knees open wider. “Love that you get like this. That you want me.” Pulling the gusset of her panties to the side, he toyed with her, circling her opening with a fingertip. Her hips lifted, seeking, and he rewarded her with a deep plunge inside, the silky walls of her sex opening for him, wrapping his fingers with a mesmerizing heat. Mine. She cried out and he laved her nipple with the flat of his tongue before flicking it over and over as his hand worked her to the edge. “Wanna come on my hand, baby?” Wordless, her cry still spoke to him and he smiled against her flesh. “Come for me, Cassie. Come all over my hand.”

  Steady and hard, he pumped into her, slipping his thumb up and over her clit with every retreat from her body. Her fingers in his hair pulled hard and he pushed up to an elbow, leaning in to kiss her from the side. She held his head in place, lips grazing as she panted, eyes wide as she stared up at him from only inches away. “Come for me, baby.” She nodded and her neck arched, but her eyes stayed locked on his. Her walls clenched around his fingers and he pressed deeper, thrumming across her clit with his thumb. With a cry that speared the air between them, she took flight, and he watched as she broke apart, slowing the drives of his arm until his fingers moved slowly, slowly, more a caress than a thrust, spreading the wetness he’d drawn from her. “Fucking gorgeous when you come for me.” He bent those few inches and took a kiss, then another one. “Fucking gorgeous woman in my bed, wanting me.” He kissed her again, slowly petting her sex before he rested his hand along the inside of her thigh, holding her in place. “You want me, Cassie? You still want me? All of me?”

  “Everything. I want everything with you.” Her eyes were sparkling again, and he brushed his nose against hers. “I love you more than I can say, Hoss.”

  “You say plenty,” he said, stripping her panties down her legs, grinning as she bent her knees to mak
e it easier. “My gorgeous woman.” He hesitated a moment, then asked, “You okay like this?” They hadn’t tried missionary since the first disastrous time, and he hated asking but didn’t want to push her beyond what she could bear. “I just want inside you, and I’m happy to do whatever you need.” Her hands pulled at his hips until he settled against her, cradled against her body in the space she made for him. “Eyes on me, Cassie, yeah?” She nodded, and he bent to kiss her, eyes open. “Me and you here, and this,” he arched his back, pressing the head of his cock between her lips, “is everything.” He rolled his hips, sliding inside her on a long, slow push, thrusting steadily until he was seated against her clit. She ground up against him and he grinned, brushing his nose against hers in another Eskimo kiss.

  “Move, honey,” she complained softly, rocking her hips forward and back while he remained still. Take what you need, baby. He let her work herself on him for another moment, chuckling when she grumbled, lips pushed up into a pout, “You’re a terrible tease.”

  “I am, am I?” He withdrew a fraction of his length, then pressed back inside, fighting his body for control. Arms trembling, he held himself still again. “Still a tease?”

  “Such a tease,” she said, hips chasing him as he withdrew again, farther this time with a pause on the upswing. “Move, Hoss.” Her tone was a little demanding now, and he watched as a tiny line formed between her brows. Almost there. He wanted her more than she could know, but she had to be ready. “Stop teasing.”

  Studying her face, he powered into her hard, forcing a surprised squeak out of her. Oh, yeah. Absolutely no fear, and more than a spark of excitement, she was caught up in the moment here with him. Repeating the movement, he found a rhythm he could maintain and worked at bringing her back to that peak, wanting to feel her come around his cock like she had his fingers. Out slowly, pausing at the apex of the movement, then a hard, fast pound until he was grinding against her clit again. He cupped her jaw in his hand, steadying her for a quick, powerful kiss. Her response was unmistakable, a woman consumed by desire, giving him back what he needed. Picking up the pace, he thrust into her again and again, the sound of their sweat-wet bellies slapping together echoing around the room.