One to Keep

by Tia Louise

  * * *

  Kenny’s parents were not what I expected.

  After a night of small doses of sleep marked by tossing and turning—while Kenny slept like a rock curled up beside me—I’d finally given up. I’d cooked eggs for both of us for breakfast, and she ate half of my portion in addition to hers. Then I put on my most respectable-looking khakis and a button down, and we hit the road for Bayville, me following her in my car.

  In a little more than an hour, Kenny and I were sitting side by side on a dark plaid sofa in the living room of a small, middle-class home with pictures of Kenny at various ages on wood-paneled walls.

  Her father Byron Woods had light brown hair like his daughter’s that was now becoming salt-and-pepper grey. He studied me with stern suspicion from his chair, which I didn’t necessarily fault him for.

  Kenny’s mother Grace hastened around the room getting everyone drinks. Other than her dark hair, Kenny looked more like Grace, having the same build and eye color. I wasn’t sure what she was expecting or if she already had an idea.

  “What’s your line of work Mr. Knight?” Kenny’s dad asked, sitting back in his recliner with a glass of iced tea.

  Kenny was right, this did feel exactly like we were in high school confessing. “I’m a private investigator, sir. I can do pretty much anything, but my focus is online security.”

  The part about me being a closer and getting the job done didn’t seem quite appropriate in view of our circumstances.

  “How did you and Kenny meet?” her mom breezed into the room, carrying another glass of tea, which she handed to me.

  That question threw me. I didn’t know how Kenny’s parents felt about her former occupation—if she’d even told them about her job with Carl or being a tattoo artist. They appeared pretty conservative. Then I remembered how Kenny looked when we first met compared to how she looked today. The change had occurred since she moved back home, all her tattoos were hidden; I was stumped.

  “Patrick works with Derek Alexander. The man who helped with Blake’s case?” Ken intercepted. “We met through mutual friends.”

  Both her parents nodded, and we were all quiet again. For the first time since Kenny told me, I worried what other people might think about our situation. I thought of my sister Amy, and how I would feel if a guy showed up to drop a bomb like this. I’d punch him in the face. How could I say this gently?

  “We’ve had a little surprise,” I started, shifting in my seat. “You see—”

  “Mom, Dad,” Kenny cut in, “I’m pregnant.”

  With a gasp, Kenny’s mom covered her heart with her hand. Then she let out an “Oh!” that I was pretty sure indicated she was not devastated by the news.

  “And you’re the father?” Kenny’s dad was another matter. His eyes were no longer curious. They were flat.

  “Yes, sir.” I shifted. I should probably let him punch me in the face if he wanted to, only he wasn’t that big. “I… I mean, we…”

  “It was an accident,” Kenny said. “We didn’t mean for it to happen. It was just one of those things where—”

  “Kendra,” her mother said softly. “You don’t have to tell us everything.”

  Somehow that statement made me want to laugh. No, her mother probably didn’t want to know the whole story of how this blessed event occurred.

  Her father sat forward. “So why are we all here? Do you have a plan?”

  “Yes, Patrick’s staying in Princeton, and I want to stay here with you in Bayville.” Kenny sounded more confident than she had in two days. I hoped it was because I was here with her, and I sat back to let her take the lead. Whatever she said, I’d support it.

  “If it’s okay with you,” she continued, “I’ll keep working at the Jungle Gym until I can afford my own place.”

  My brow lined. I hadn’t asked her what she was doing these days, and with a name like that, I wasn’t sure if she was working with kids, animals, or exercisers.

  “How will you do that?” her mother asked. “You can’t kickbox in your condition.”

  “Sure I can!” She scooted forward on the couch. “And I’d like to keep going to GCU, finish my teaching certificate…”

  All of this was news to me, but it was great. She was doing a lot more than she’d told me.

  “I’ll help out any way I can,” I added.

  Her father looked at me a moment, and then he stood. “So you’re not planning to get married?”

  “No.” Kenny answered before I could speak. “Patrick’s… Neither of us intended to be together that way.”

  “I’m not happy about this, Kendra.” His voice was stern.

  I stood as well at that. “I do care about your daughter, sir.” I walked over to him, then I wished I hadn’t. I was a bit taller, and I wasn’t going for intimidation. “This is my responsibility, too.”

  “You’re damn right it is. I expect to hear a plan that demonstrates how Kendra can actually afford her own place and a baby while she works and goes to school. To me it sounds more like another screw-up that will land her right back here. For good.”

  His word choice pissed me off, but his point was one I’d been going over in my own head all night—when I wasn’t thinking about Elaine. “I make good money, sir. I’m in a position to help Kenny with whatever—”

  “We’re still working out the details, Dad.”

  While I was going for diplomacy, Kenny’s sharp tone sounded ready to fight. I was pretty sure that was not the best approach, and I wished we’d planned this out before driving here. Thankfully her mother intervened.

  “Byron, it sounds like they’re working on a plan. We can give them a little time.” Then she turned to her daughter. “When are you due, honey? You’re barely showing!”

  “May.”

  The room fell silent for what felt like a long time. I searched for something to say, but I felt like we’d said all we could to this point.

  Her father walked to the small liquor cabinet and took out two tumblers. He poured a finger of scotch into each and handed me one. “I suppose congratulations are in order.”

  I nodded and took the drink. “Thanks. And trust me, sir. I’m going to make this right.”

  He turned to his daughter. “Kendra, you can stay here for now. Patrick is welcome to visit you any time, of course. But I expect you to give me a real solution. Soon.”

  Her brow relaxed, and she stood. “I will, Dad. I promise.”

  * * *

  Later that night after a dinner of pork chops, lettuce wedges, mac and cheese—again with Kenny eating half of mine—I drove her down to the pier. She directed me and after a few turns, we were walking down the long wooden structure that extended over the water.

  “Well, that went about how I expected,” she sighed.

  I reached over and took her hand. “You need to work on your delivery when asking for favors.”

  “Ugh! You’re right. I know you’re right.” She shook her head. “He drives me crazy. I’m sitting there telling him my plan, and he acts like I’ve gone total charity case.”

  “Speaking of that, you said you didn’t know what to do. It sounds like you have a few pretty good idea in the works.”

  We were at the end of the pier, and she sat. Then she tugged on my arm, making me sit beside her, our feet dangling over the edge. “I’ve been thinking about it a lot. I guess when I saw my dad’s face, it all just clicked together.”

  “You’ve got a job, you’re going to GCU… That’s all great.”

  She exhaled a little laugh. “I just wish I could afford my own place now.”

  “I can pay for deposits or whatever. Tell me where and when, and I’ll send you the money.”

  “No, Mom’s right. It doesn’t seem like the right thing yet. I’ll need help with the baby—”

  “I want to help you.”

  Her fingers traveled to the band she’d made around my arm, and I watched as she traced the lines with the tips of her fingers. “This is some of my be
st work.”

  “Removal of Long-Story Stacy,” I said, remembering. We were quiet a few moments, then I took her hand and turned it over, opening it to show the tear hidden in her palm. “Did you ever want a family with him?”

  Her fingers curled closed over mine, and after a few quiet moments, she shook her head. “We didn’t have a chance to think about it. We were so young, and he was gone so fast.”

  My lips pressed together, and I smoothed her palm out against mine. “Some things stop you in your tracks.”

  “Yeah.” Her voice was thick, and she spread her fingers so they threaded with mine. “Thanks for coming here, standing by me. I can honestly tell this baby I loved its daddy very much.”

  “Oh, Ken,” I whispered, pulling her cheek to my chest and holding her.

  My feelings toward Kenny were all twisted up. They were strong, but they moved in a different direction from my feelings for Elaine. I didn’t want to be with Kenny that way, and I believed her when she said she didn’t want to marry me. At the same time, she was part of my life now, and I cared about her. I loved her.

  “I expect you to tell me if that little guy needs anything,” I said, hoping to lighten the mood.

  “Oh, so it’s a boy?”

  “Already causing this much trouble? Definitely.”

  She laughed, pushing out of my arms. It sounded good. “You’re a dangerously sweet man, Bingley.”

  “And you’ve been dealt some tough cards.” Reaching up, I slid her light brown hair off her cheek and met her smile. “No matter what, I’m here for you. I meant it two months ago, and I mean it now.”

  She nodded and took my hand from her cheek, kissing it before starting to stand, pulling me up with her. “Let’s get going. I’m as settled as I can be for now, and you’ve got to win your lady love back.”

  I followed her up the pier to my car, still holding hands. “I don’t know if she’ll be as easy to convince as your parents.”

  “If she’s as torn up about you as you are about her, she will.”

  I wasn’t sure she was right, but I nodded, keeping my smile in place. “I’ll probably have to give her a little time.”

  “If there’s anything I can do, let me know.” She imitated my tone.

  I pinched her nose. “I will.”

  * * *

  Back in Princeton, I paced my apartment, holding the phone to my ear and trying to figure out what I could say or do that I hadn’t already. I knew it was too soon to go to her, but I needed to hear her voice, to know what she was thinking. After several rings, my stomach sank. It seemed she was back to not taking my calls, but just as I was giving up, her voice appeared on the other end of the line. My eyes closed automatically at the sound.

  “I don’t want to talk to you yet,” she said quietly.

  “Okay,” I answered. The fact that she said yet gave me the tiniest bit of hope. “I just wanted to be sure you made it home. I… You know how I feel, Elaine.”

  “Don’t,” her voice cracked, and I felt it across the miles directly to my heart.

  “Nothing’s changed,” I said softly. “What happened with her was way before us, and it’s just one of those things. An unexpected…” I didn’t want to say problem. “Something we can deal with.”

  “You didn’t tell me she was a girl.”

  “And I was wrong. I’ll never keep anything like that from you again. It just didn’t seem so urgent at the time.”

  “We’re miles apart, you’re communicating with a secret ex-girlfriend, and now this.” Her tone was more heartbroken than attacking. I knew she was telling me all the thoughts swirling through her head, and I wanted to squash them all.

  “Listen to me,” I said. “My feelings aren’t like that. Kenny’s like a little sister to me.”

  “Who you sleep with.”

  With that one phrase, I lost.

  I rested my head against the doorjamb, eyes closed. “We’d had a lot to drink, I was in a really bad place—”

  “Oh, Patrick,” tears were in her voice, and my chest ached at the sound. “Loving you, having you break my heart… I couldn’t take that.”

  The frustration was driving me crazy. I wanted to go to her, wipe those tears away and love her until she believed me. “I’ll never hurt you,” I said.

  “You already have.”

  “Elaine,” I pleaded. “You know this doesn’t change anything.”

  “It changes some things.”

  “Not how much I love you.”

  “I’ve got to go.” The line went dead and my hand dropped.

  For a few minutes, I struggled against slamming my phone against the wall. Her words repeated over and over in my head. She was right, but she was wrong. The news was a shock, and my life had suddenly shifted. Kenny and the baby were new priorities for me, but they didn’t touch us and our relationship. She was still the most important thing. But I couldn’t force her to believe it. Only time would prove it to her, and as much as it hurt, I had to wait. My jaw clenched, and I was back to pacing.

  The one thing I couldn’t take was the idea she might walk away. That her feelings might change because of this. She didn’t say they had, but I could feel her mounting her defenses against me.

  “Dammit!” I slammed my palm against the door jamb. I wasn’t the enemy. I wouldn’t hurt her.

  She said I already had.

  I placed the phone on the counter and slowly went to the shower. Flipping on the water, I watched as the steam started to rise. I wanted to hold her again. I needed to hold her again. My insides hurt, everything hurt as the warm water covered my face, as I stepped under the spray gutted.

  Chapter 20 – The Redemption Box

  Derek didn’t look up from his laptop when I entered his office the next morning.

  “I need a project. Something big,” I said, watching as he leaned back in his chair, blue eyes on me now, brow creased. “I need something that’ll take a lot of time and mental energy.”

  He didn’t ask questions, which I appreciated; instead he leaned forward and started typing. “I’ll send you all the information on our new Dallas client. They need a complete online security diagnostic. Check every system, portal, communications channel… look for any and all vulnerable spots, write it up and detail all the fixes we recommend. Then I need you to contact Syntech and get them started integrating us into their networks. Make a list of every ID we should have access to and detail what we will and won’t see, data we will and won’t retain.” He did a few finishing keystrokes. “That should take you a while.”

  I nodded, and he studied me a moment. “You okay?”

  “Yes.” I was already out the door. “Thanks.”

  * * *

  Two weeks of analyzing portal after portal, working late, avoiding being alone in my apartment as much as possible, lifting weights with Derek, running, basically doing everything in my power not to think about her all the time, I was exhausted.

  And I still thought about her all the time.

  Thanksgiving came and went, and instead of spending the holiday with Elaine, I’d spent it alone at my apartment, eating a cold turkey sandwich, lying on my couch, and watching football.

  Kenny checked in at least. “Why is the father of my child spending this family holiday alone?”

  “It’s okay,” I lied. “My family’s deal is at Christmas. We’re too spread out for both holidays. Anyway, I’m not the best company right now.”

  “Well, we had the entire Woods clan here, and let me tell you, I would rather be hiding out with you.”

  Somehow Kenny could still make me smile. “How’s my little troublemaker cooking?”

  “As far as I can tell, just fine,” she said with an exhale. It sounded like she lay back. “But something happened today… It might be a plan that would satisfy my dad, and I want to know what you think.”

  Sitting forward in my chair, I muted the game. “Okay, shoot.”

  “My aunt Laura was in town for the holiday,” she pau
sed as if choosing her words. “She’s an interesting person. My mom’s sister, single, but a very successful businesswoman.”

  She waited as if I were supposed to say something.

  “That’s… nice?”

  “Anyway, she was talking about how she’d considered adoption before, but the paperwork and the whole process was so tedious and overwhelming…” another pause. “I want to ask her if she’d like to adopt Peanut.”

  Kenny said it in such a rush, it took me a moment to catch up. “Who?”

  “My aunt Laura—”

  “No… you’re calling the baby Peanut?”

  “Would you focus? She lives in New York, so she’s not far from here. She’s got plenty of money, and, well, it’s a longshot. But at least it’s family?”

  Her tone was optimistic, but I needed to be sure. “Is that something you think you can do?”

  “Would you be okay with it?”

  I thought about that. Relief was my initial response, but I wasn’t sure I could trust that emotion. Still, when it came down to it, a loving aunt who wanted a baby, who was related to Ken…

  “I think, considering what’s going on with both of us, where we are and what we’re prepared to do, it’s probably the best solution. If you think your aunt will be a good mom?”

  A huge sigh filled my ear. “She’ll be the best mom.” I could tell Kenny was smiling now. “I always loved visiting her when I was a kid. And they’ll be in New York! Imagine if the baby’s an artist.”

  “Like you.” A return-smile crossed my lips. “Ken, if it makes you this happy, I trust you. Do you need me to do anything?”

  “No, that’s just it. We’ll work out all the details.” She paused a moment, and I waited. “Thank you, Patrick.”

  “I don’t feel like I’ve done enough—tell me if I can help you, okay?”

  “I will,” she said.

  “Take care of yourself.”

  Kenny’s optimism was contagious, and knowing we had a solution, I was brave enough to take a chance. Hopping over to my recent calls, I touched the name I loved. Waiting as it rang, I realized she was probably with family and not able to talk.