Saving Her Shadow

by Lutishia Lovely

  “Now that I can do.”

  Christine petitioned her God again and asked for protection for Shadow and direction for her parents. She asked that Raina be given peace about the situation and, when prompted, that Shadow be healed. She ended the prayer with a hearty amen, then reached for her fork and began eating. She was several bites in before realizing that Raina was rearranging the food from one part of the plate to the other, but eating very little of it.

  “Come on, now. That’s one leg of chicken. I don’t have food to waste.”

  Raina speared a small piece of the fork-tender meat, along with the spicy rice. “It’s good,” she said, and when Christine kept staring, took a bite of the vegetables as well.

  Christine nodded. “One of Jackie’s favorite meals.”

  Christine got down to business then, devouring the chicken as though it might jump up and run off her plate. She chattered through half the plate’s contents, then took a long swig of the cola. Reaching for a napkin, she sat back and studied Raina. “Your spirit seems troubled, child.”

  “I guess, a little.”

  “Mama kick me out the house I guess I’d be troubled, too. It was your mama, right? Or was it that cold-looking white man she’s married to?”

  At her look of shock, Christine continued. “This town is too small for secrets. Plus, I know Bev, Jason and Monica’s mom. We all go to Chippewa Baptist. But you probably knew that already.”

  “How do you know my stepdad?”

  “Don’t know him. Just seen him a time or two. I checked out one of your meetings on that local cable channel. Just long enough for me to know y’all’s church was not for me. Your mama looks like she’s from good Baptist stock. How’d she get hooked up with that devil? God forgive me, he’s your father. I shouldn’t have said that. How’d she meet that man?”

  “Back in Kansas City, they worked together.”

  “He looks to be quite a bit older than her. Was he her boss? None of my business,” Christine added. “Just asking.”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  “He got money?”

  Raina’s face warmed. “I guess.”

  “I imagine you’re right,” Christine continued calmly. “That Lucifer Ridge neighborhood sure is fancy.”

  “It’s Lucent Rising.”

  “He ain’t getting up, but whatever. Money ain’t no good when it’s burning, and from what I can see, that church is a cult.”

  Again, Raina found herself getting defensive for the organization that she herself had come to question more every year.

  “My mother would disagree with you. Only Unsanc—those who are not members, call it that.”

  “She didn’t know it was a cult when she joined it?”

  “She knew what my stepdad told her, and also knew that because of him we were living a better life.”

  “Uh-huh. This your better life right here? Why you’re sitting at my dinner table, on the out with your folk, worry creasing up that pretty face? I’m trying not to judge you. But the people who belong to y’all’s church never seemed to have it together quite right.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “I’m just saying there’s some strange goings-on. I’ve watched it since the first family moved here twenty years ago. Homeschooling their children. Forced to keep to themselves. Locking up the residents behind what looks like a fifty-foot fence. The first time I saw it, I couldn’t believe it. Asked Valarie if that was a new neighborhood, or a prison?”

  Christine laughed at her own joke, and polished off her cola. “How is it that you’re going to public school?”

  “My grandma, mostly,” Raina said, smiling at the memory of Jennifer’s spry mom. “After my mother married Ken, I began being homeschooled. Grandma heard about it and had a fit. Said I should be around kids my own age. It took a little for Dad to agree, but he finally said okay. The private high school won’t be finished for another three years. So far, the organization here only has grade school.”

  “Your little sister goes to the church’s school. Old ladies know everything,” she continued, given Raina’s surprised expression. “It’s what we do.”

  Raina shrugged, her spirit sagging under the weight of missing her shadow. “I guess she likes it well enough. It’s the only one she’s known.”

  “Bev told me she’s a bit under the weather. Said you told her that the other day when she picked you up. Is that what has you troubled, you’re worried about her?”

  Raina thought about what Beverly had said about her daughter not holding water and realized that the apple hadn’t fallen far from the tree.

  “It was just a fever,” Raina said. “She’s probably better now.”

  “Probably so, but have your mama take her in to that clinic. She doesn’t want no parts of that flu.”

  Miss Christine was as comfortable as a favorite sweater. Raina found herself sharing more than she’d intended. “We don’t believe in doctors or taking medication.”

  “What in the world? Are you kidding me? You don’t believe in doctors or Jesus either? Lord, anything happen to that poor baby and she won’t stand a chance.” Christine thought for a moment. “When’s the last time you saw your sister?”

  “A couple days ago.”

  “Can you call her?”

  “I can try, but my parents are probably monitoring the phone.”

  “So?”

  Raina didn’t want to explain the whole obscure, getting-ghosted situation. “I can’t talk to her while on punishment,” she finally said.

  “What about school? Can you go see her? It’ll reassure you and probably make her feel better.”

  It was a great idea, but unlikely to happen, Raina thought. By now everyone in the Nation would know that she’d been obscured.

  “It’s a private school,” Raina told her. “I probably couldn’t get in.”

  “What do you mean, can’t get in? That’s your sister, private or not.”

  “Being on punishment means being separated from your whole family. You can’t see or talk to them during that time. That’s why I’m here.”

  Christine gave her a look, the kind that made Raina think she could see through to the soul. “Punishment, that’s what you’re calling it? Baby, I watch TV. I know about those Polly Annies and how they treat their children. You’re not on punishment. You’ve been shunned!”

  Said with such force and a sense of derision that Raina laughed out loud. “We don’t use that term. We say obscured.”

  “You can say OB-GYN and it won’t change nothing. Your bedroom across town will still be empty while you’re sitting at my house.”

  That truth took away some of the humor. That and thoughts of Abby, staying on that side of the second floor for the first time by herself.

  “I’m sorry, baby. Didn’t mean to make you sad. But what they’re doing is a shame. You don’t cut off your child no matter what they’ve done. Or be made not to see a little sister who probably misses you, too. Hold on a moment. I have an idea.” Christine got up from the table.

  “Should I come with you?”

  “No, stay there. I’ll be right back.”

  She returned minutes later, swinging an auburn-colored wig. She held it out to Raina.

  “Here.”

  Raina looked dubious. “What’s that for?”

  “It’s for you to get in to that private school to see your sister.”

  Raina felt showing up to the facility looking like Carrot Top’s cousin just might make them lock the doors faster. Still, she appreciated Christine’s support, and with no bright ideas of her own, decided to play along.

  “You think my wearing that will make a difference?”

  “With all this hair it’ll probably be wearing you, but if you’re quick and can think on your feet it might get you inside long enough to see your sister. Think you can pull it off?”

  “I can try. Thank you, Miss Christine.”

  “Think nothing of it. Hopefully knowing that she’s okay will
make you feel better.”

  Later that night, Raina called Jackie and told her the plan. “I told you Nanny was crazy,” was her honest reply. It was the kind of insanity Raina could handle. The next day she skipped the class before phys ed and just before two in the afternoon, after being dropped off by a taxi, stood across from Lucent Rising Elementary Institute wearing black slacks, Jackie’s oversized down coat, a black scarf, black gloves and the red wig. The streets were deserted, not another human in sight. As in the subdivision, Raina knew there were cameras at the school. She’d hoped to get there closer to the end of the day when there might be more people coming and going. But she knew that one of her parents would arrive to pick up Abby. She couldn’t take the chance on missing her, getting caught, or not having the chance again. After taking a deep breath she covered the lower part of her face with the scarf Christine had given her, put her head down and crossed the street. Her heart pounded as she forced herself to not race up the concrete steps. She prayed the doors were unlocked. They were. The stars aligned! Just as she began to pull the handle someone came toward her.

  It was Mrs. Brigham, her mother’s good friend and the wife of an elder. The last type of Nation member she needed to see. Knowing it would be rude to totally ignore her, Raina issued a quick, “Light day to you, sister,” and hurried down the hallway. She felt Mrs. Brigham’s eyes on her and dared not turn around. She hoped the always helpful woman wouldn’t come back to assist Raina, who with the wig and the oversized coat probably looked like a bum. Fortunately, Raina was familiar with the school’s layout and knew Abby’s classroom location. After taking a quick scan of her surroundings, she walked up to the open door and peeked inside. Her eyes quickly scanned the room. Then her heart fell. The chair where Abby usually sat was empty. Where was her sister?

  “Excuse me.”

  Raina started at the sound of a voice right behind her and almost literally flipped her wig. She turned to see the familiar uniform of a healer, dressed in white. Behind her was Abby, looking tepid and pale. Raina’s heart pounded with joy and trepidation. Joy that she’d seen Abby. Sadness that she was still with a healer and fear that she’d look up, call out, and blow Raina’s cover.

  “I’m sorry,” Raina said, keeping her eyes downcast and purposely muffling her voice beneath the scarf. “I’m looking for Abby Reed. The Grand Seer sent me to pick her up.”

  Abby looked up then, her eyes widening, her mouth slowly opening. Raina quickly shook her head, cutting her eyes toward the healer. Abby got the message. Raina exhaled.

  “And you are?”

  “Moon Vessel Mavis Stanford, from the thirty-third chapter in Tulsa, Oklahoma.”

  Upon hearing the name of one of the organization’s central locations, the woman nodded. “Light day to you, sister.”

  “Keep shining.”

  She held Abby’s hand and waited until the healer began walking away, then went in the opposite direction, toward the girls’ bathroom. Once inside she quickly checked for occupants. The stalls were empty. She pulled Abby into the last one, dropped to her knees and gave her a hug.

  “Hey, Shadow,” she whispered, her eyes brimming with tears.

  “What are you doing here? What’s with the wig?” Raina felt Abby’s weak embrace end abruptly. “I’m not supposed to talk to you.”

  “I know, Shadow, and I won’t stay.”

  “Don’t call me that. Dad says it’s like a bad word.”

  She’d been gone less than a week, but the weight of the dogma was telling. There was distance between her and her sister that hadn’t been there before. No time to get into all of that now, though. She’d told the healer she was picking up Abby and just now realized her dilemma. No car and no Jackie. Just that morning she’d left for the airport. Miss Christine no longer drove. Monica? No. She’d gotten the job and was working at BBs. Maybe Bryce? Just as quickly that idea flew out the mental window. Abby telling Ken she’d ridden home with an unsanctioned male and her renegade sis? Ken would blow a gasket.

  “I’ve been worried about you.” She reached up and felt Abby’s forehead. “You’re still very warm, Sha . . . Abby.”

  “The healer says it’s the Light shining, healing me from within.”

  “I say it’s a fever,” Raina mumbled. Then to Abby, “Are you still tired all the time?”

  Abby nodded. “I want to go home.”

  “Mother or Father should be here soon.”

  “Do they know you’re here?”

  “No, and we can’t tell them.”

  “You want me to lie?”

  “Just don’t say anything unless they ask you.”

  “Do you not want to be a part of our family anymore?”

  “Why would you ask that? Of course.”

  “Then why haven’t you called us, or met with the Council?”

  “I’ve left messages, Shadow, at the house and for the council. No one has called back. As soon as the Council gives their recommendation, I’m sure Mom and Dad will call me. I’ll talk to them then about moving back home. Okay?”

  “Okay.”

  “Hey, being there by yourself can’t be all bad. You’ve got that whole big bathroom to yourself.”

  “I don’t need that much room.”

  Raina hugged Abby again, squeezed even tighter. This time Abby hugged her back. “Am I going to get germs because I hugged you?”

  “No, just shield yourself.” Raina heard heels clicking against the tile. “I’d better go,” she whispered. “Count to sixty, then go to the circle. Mom or Dad should be there by now. Can you do that?”

  Abby nodded.

  “Love you, Shadow.”

  Abby’s bittersweet smile broke Raina’s heart. She unlocked the door, eased it open and looked right into the faces of the healer she’d lied to, Mrs. Brigham, and Abby’s teacher, Lucy Stone.

  Lucy Stone’s face was a mask of righteous indignation. “I thought it was your voice I heard outside of my classroom. Raina Reed, what are you doing here?”

  Chapter 13

  They hadn’t returned her calls for days, but an hour after getting busted at Abby’s school, Raina sat in front of a hastily gathered Council. It was not the meeting she’d intended, but one quickly arranged once Lucy Stone’s hunch was proven right and the Moon Vessel from Oklahoma was actually Abby’s soon-to-be-obscured sis. Raina had offered to leave the school, and quite hastily at that, but she was forcibly discouraged from doing so by Lucent Rising security. After a valiant struggle proved she might have been a match for one or two guards but couldn’t handle four, she stopped fighting and allowed herself to be led to the office, where she’d sat until summoned to the church, driven in a security van. Now she sat in front of what felt like a firing squad, with a broken fingernail, scratches, and a bruise forming on her upper left arm. The scarf was gone and there was only one glove. She had no idea where the wig went.

  She knew most all of the elders before her quite well, from the time the family arrived in Chippewa. Franklin Tessler was like a crusty old uncle, gruff, unflappable, very by-the-book. He and his wife, Mary, had been to the Reeds’ home several times. Now, he looked through her as though he didn’t know her at all. There was Graham Patterson and his brother Otis, Elder Montgomery, who’d performed one of her levels of light initiations, and a new member, Mr. West she thought was his name. No women were present. They were not allowed to sit on the council. One chair remained empty, and as much as she hoped it was reserved for her mom, Raina knew that was a pipe dream. She would have liked to think otherwise, but Raina knew that it wasn’t being held for her mom. Jennifer was probably still angry, furious even. But Raina missed her mom immensely and would give anything to see her. Before this thought was finished, the mystery was solved. The empty chair was for the elder second-highest in command, her stepfather, Ken Reed. Just peachy.

  Ken greeted the other members of the council. He did not look at her before taking his seat. Otis Patterson stood and formally announced, “This meeting is no
w called to order.”

  Mr. Tessler twirled the handle of his gray mustache. “The business at hand deals with misconduct of the highest order, a series of erroneous actions that, considering the person being charged with these violations, has the Council deeply concerned.”

  Raina glanced at Ken, noticed the nervous tic just above his right eye, the set of his jaw. She felt worse than horrible. Wanted the floor to open up and swallow her whole.

  Otis pulled out a folder and read from what appeared to be several papers inside. “Ms. Raina Reed, vessel of our own the esteemed and noble Ken Reed, you are charged with a series of serious transgressions included but not limited to the following: egregious and continual deception, fraud, concealing identity, breaching security—”

  “Breaching security?” Raina repeated, unable to help herself. “At the school? I think that statement is a bit misleading. I walked through an unlocked door.”

  “Providing false identification,” Otis continued without pause.

  Raina sat back in the seat. She couldn’t deny the whole moon vessel thing.

  “. . . and the attempted kidnapping of—”

  In less than a nanosecond, Raina was on her feet. “No way!”

  The same security guards she’d “met” at the school, once again surrounded her. She looked at Ken. His face was stone. She sat down, but wouldn’t be silent.

  “Father! It’s not true. I was concerned about Abby and only wanted to see her. I miss my sister!”

  Otis Patterson held up his hand. “Be quiet, Ms. Reed. You are not to address anyone unless a question is asked. Is that understood?”

  “Yes, Grand Seer,” Raina said softly.

  Otis eyed her with a hint of compassion. “As for missing your sister, that is because of your actions. You should have thought about that before going outside the light.”

  “I didn’t try and kidnap Abby.”

  “Silence!”

  Graham Patterson spoke instead of Otis, his brother. The bass in the older man’s voice reverberated in Raina’s empty stomach.

  “You will not speak out of order again.”

  Order or the lack of it, didn’t matter. No one asked questions, not what happened or why. Not whether she felt remorse for her actions or what she was willing to do to make amends. They handed down judgment based on one-sided opinions, not only about Raina trespassing at Abby’s school, but about lying to her parents, being in the extended company of the unsanctioned, and putting the entire church through endless worry by failing to come home when expected or calling to say she’d be late. They weren’t counting, but Raina was pretty sure she’d broken the record for single-incident infractions, a number that would undoubtedly double if they knew about Kansas City and the video. Her father reprimanded her, followed by Elder Montgomery, and finally Otis Patterson, a Grand Seer.