The Devil's Concubine

by Goyanes, Ángeles; Johnson, Kasia

  “It was obvious Shallem was trying to distract me. He was tired of watching me study the most trivial details of my new features or seeing how I turned catatonic as I probed my mind for thoughts, feelings, or ideas that weren’t my own.

  “Our lives went on peacefully. I felt a change in my new and vigorous body that made me slightly, although pleasantly, surprised. I was always excited and antsy. It seemed like I had an extraordinary amount of energy I couldn’t find enough ways to burn. Because of this, we started travelling again.

  “But the world was too small. In a period of twenty-two years, we visited all fifty-five of Shallem’s homes. I redecorated and furnished every single house in the short amount of time we lived in it. Shallem and Cannat were surprised by my frenetic pace and it was hard for them to keep up. I was very happy and grew closer to Cannat than ever. I was restless and being in Shallem’s company was to peaceful; I needed his brother’s exuberant vitality.

  “Sometimes, when I returned from a horseback ride or from some other activity that kept my body in motion, they would both watch me suspiciously. I would sense something was troubling them. I tried to pacify them, telling them I hadn’t enjoyed such a healthy and strong body for more than forty years, that I was only enjoying a second youth and that I must take full advantage of it. ‘Come here, sit with us.’ They would insist and I would do as they asked, but two minutes later, I would get up.

  “Cannat became obsessed and very worried that my mortal body could get hurt or become ill. He prohibited me from going horseback riding for fear that I would fall and die instantaneously. When I snuck out of the house to go to a nearby town, he would follow me. At times, I snuck out just for the pleasure of catching him spying on me. He would try and scare me by telling all the horrible ways how, at any given moment, my weak human body could be murdered. To him, anything human was a danger to me.

  “ ‘Be careful,’ he would tell me with his index finger wagging in front of my eyes, ‘Or you’ll end up being killed by your own species.’ However, I enjoyed the fact that he was afraid, worried, and anxious. I didn’t want to stop and listen to his detailed explanations about all the things that could go wrong. I just wanted to be happy thinking that he felt those things because he cared for me.

  “And I was happy..., so happy that at times I thought I would explode. I valued life more than I had ever done in the past. Except, of course, when I was on the verge of dying. Now that I was alive, even the most ordinary blade of grass seemed unique and splendid.

  “Nevertheless, I soon became frightened by how quickly my mortal body began to age. At only thirty-six, I already had some gray hairs and wrinkles. I was very surprised and distressed because my legitimate body, at that age, had been that of a young girl thanks to the part of Shallem’s soul that had resided within it.

  “When my body turned forty, I already felt like I had lived a millennium. I wanted us to return to England’s peaceful countryside and so we did. My energy had been spent and now it was I who declined their invitations for even the most tranquil walks. I was simply exhausted. And, once again, scared by the proximity of old age and death. Shallem had offered to share his soul with me and, at times, I regretted not having accepted his offer. I didn’t refuse because I didn’t desperately want it, I refused because I sensed Shallem feared what another long life would do to my already exhausted soul. However, for at least a minute every day I was tempted to ask him to make me invulnerable again. ‘Okay,’ I would say to myself, ‘When I get a little older he can stop me from aging. Yes, when I’m older he’ll make this body age as slowly as my original body. Human life is so brief!’

  “During the entire twenty-four years I had spent in that stolen body, Shallem had never stopped blaming Cannat. To Shallem, my energy was an unexpected and unusual, but direct and unfortunate, consequence of Cannat’s action. However, while I possessed that boundless energy, in no way did I feel unfortunate. My body was strong and had been accustomed to cold weather; I was never ill. That is, until the day my heart seemed so tired I feared it would stop beating. I was so weak I climbed into bed and didn’t dare move since every movement made me feel like I was about to pass out.

  “ ‘You see?’ Cannat asked me furiously from the foot of the bed. ‘Why didn’t you let Shallem make you invincible? Did you think you alone could free yourself of all mortal miseries?’ Then he approached me and grabbed my hands. ‘There’s only two solutions,’ he whispered. Then, he turned to look at Shallem who was trying to hide his face by pretending to look at the fields from the window. ‘I don’t have to spell them out for you. Which option do you want?’

  “My weak pulse accelerated and I looked at Shallem. He was still pretending to ignore us.

  “ ‘Shallem, turn around and come here right now!’ Cannat screamed impatiently. Shallem had no other option but to obey.

  “ ‘It would make more sense for us to find another body,’ Cannat continued in a low voice, looking at me warmly as he sat beside me on the bed. ‘This body is already too old, don’t you think?’

  “I watched him, completely amazed by how his voice remained so peaceful as he said those atrocious sentences.

  “By that time Shallem was standing next to me, restless and anxious but unable to stop what was happening. He wouldn’t look at me. Cannat, however, looked directly and expectantly at my face. Shallem’s insecurities brought tears to my eyes.

  “I would be lying if I were to tell you that I had never imagined what might happen when that moment occurred, when, once again, the hour of my corporeal death arrived. And both options Cannat had proposed had crossed my mind: receive Shallem’s soul again or, perhaps, obtain a new body.

  “I would ask myself, ‘Will Cannat give me a new life? Or will Shallem do it himself? What if neither one of them offer? As for me, will I accept? Of course I would accept if Shallem suggests it. However, what if Cannat proposes it against, once again, Shallem’s desires. No, no, Cannat wouldn’t dare.’ And then my heart would jump with fear and pain. ‘But, what if Cannat does offer? I would leave it up to Shallem.’ That’s what I decided: Shallem must be the one to choose.

  “ ‘Shallem must decide what should be done, if there is something to be done,’ I said as I looked at him. ‘My heart, my soul, and my life belong to him.’

  “Shallem grew even more anguished. I knew he would have preferred for me to simply refuse to go on living, to admit I was sincerely tired of living and wasn’t ready to accept a third life. I knew this would have pacified his conscience. It was cruel, but clever, of me to deflect all responsibility on him. He adored me and didn’t want to lose me; of this, I was certain. In his conscience, his fear of losing me was struggling with his fear that something bad would happen to my exhausted soul.

  “Shallem looked at Cannat with a grave and pained expression. He was so grave I became frightened. What if I had been too sure of myself?

  “Suddenly Cannat stood. ‘Shallem,’ he said approaching him. ‘It’s all right. Say your last good-byes.’

  “My heart was overwhelmed with worry and beat frantically when I saw the severe expression Shallem gave Cannat. He seemed extremely angry. Fearing the worst, my hand flew to my mouth. Shallem glanced at me and then quickly averted his gaze toward the view outside the window. He was trying to escape.

  “ ‘Shallem,’ Cannat muttered as he placed a hand on his shoulder. He was shocked by Shallem’s attitude.

  “Shallem abruptly turned away from Cannat’s touch and walked around the bed toward the window. He looked like a man who was about to sign his mother’s death warrant. Cannat followed him with his eyes and then approached him; he was stunned speechless.

  “ ‘Shallem,’ he whispered again.

  “I burst into tears.

  “ ‘Cannat, enough!’ I begged.

  “ ‘Shallem! Her heart can stop at any moment! Don’t you realized that?’ Cannat urged.

  “I couldn’t believe the fervor with which Cannat defended my life.

&nb
sp; “ ‘You love her! I know you love her!’ Cannat screamed at Shallem.

  “ ‘I love her too much to do this to her! And you don’t want to accept that!’ Shallem wailed as he turned violently toward Cannat. ‘I can’t bear the thought of losing her, but it’s even more unbearable to send her soul to perdition! If I let her go now, I’ll look for her, I’ll get her back!’

  “ ‘Shallem, my Shallem,’ Cannat whispered patiently as if he were trying to calm a delirious child. ‘You know she may not even come back to this planet. If you let her go now, you’ll lose her forever. That’s it. There’s nothing more.’

  “First, Shallem desperately covered his eyes with his hands and then he covered his ears.

  “ ‘Should I do it!’ Cannat screamed. ‘Should I do it so that your conscience remains clean and you can torment me for the next forty years about the sacrilegious act I performed on your behalf, I performed to keep you happy? This time that won’t happen, Shallem, I’m sorry.’

  “ ‘What do you mean on my behalf? I would never ask you to do that!’ Shallem exclaimed.

  “ ‘Of course not. Certainly not. But you didn’t have to ask, I heard it in your soul! You can’t deny it! This time I won’t do it Shallem. Don’t fool yourself. I’m not going to run off with her and bring her back to you in a young body just so you can pretend you couldn’t do anything to stop me. You want a clear conscience? Just be quiet and cross your arms. It won’t be long before she dies.’

  “ ‘Oh God, my God!’ Shallem sobbed, his face crumpling. He approached the bed and leaned against one of its posts. Cannat stared at him with a callous expression and leaned against the window, his arms crossed over his chest. Shallem lifted his eyes and looked at me with indescribable sadness and desperation. How I hated being the cause of the bitterness I saw reflected in his eyes.

  “ ‘Forgive me, my love,’ he whispered. ‘Forgive me.’ Then he kissed my cheek and kept his face pressed against mine for a while. Cannat walked toward us purposefully and stated resolutely, ‘All right. She’s exhausted. Go now, go get her a suitable body. Don’t worry, I’ll take care of her. I won’t let her die.’

  “So, in spite of everything, Shallem decided to let you live?” the priest commented.

  “To my relief, yes,” the woman confirmed. “Although I wasn’t sure he was going to until he actually left.”

  “ ‘Why are you doing this?’ I asked Cannat after Shallem disappeared. ‘Why save me and cause him such pain?’

  “He approached me with his blue eyes blazing.

  “ ‘Don’t let yourself get excited,’ he said. ‘You’re heart is fragile.’

  “Then, with an intense expression of pleasure, he sat down beside me on the bed and caressed my cheek as he always liked to do.

  “ ‘Everything has turned out well,’ he murmured. ‘I needed to know just how attached he was to you and now I know. And I’m pleased with his response.’

  “I didn’t understand what he was saying but I was too exhausted to keep questioning him.

  “Shallem returned in half an hour with a girl in his arms. Hypnotized, she started at him as if she had just met her knight in shining armor. I didn’t know what he had done to her. He placed her on the floor next to me. When she realized where she was and saw the strange people around her, her face filled with terror. She didn’t even know what was about to happen to her.

  “ ‘Splendid. Where did you get her?’ Cannat asked.

  “ ‘In London.’

  “ ‘London! You should have gone farther away. Someone can recognize her,’ Cannat chided.

  “ ‘What am I doing here?’ the girl moaned in a charming voice, her face traumatized. ‘Who are you? Please, tell me where I am.’

  “Cannat laughed calmly. ‘Adorable,’ he said.

  “The girl tried to run and Shallem slapped her on the face.

  “ ‘Don’t do that again,’ he warned and drug her toward the foot of the bed. She started to cry out loud.

  “What did you feel at that moment?” the priest asked.

  After a few seconds, the woman responded, “I was upset. I knew the woman’s life was about to be sacrificed for me. That she was going to die so I could keep living. Was that right? Of course not. I was perfectly capable of knowing right from wrong. However, I also knew that man frequently killed with much less reason than to save a life. When I die tomorrow, for example, no one’s life will be saved. None of the people I’m accused of killing will come back. And, none the less, this society has decided to sacrifice my life for absolutely nothing. Today, like back then, people would kill just for a little money, and even, at times, for the slightest feeling of hate. Human life, in those times, wasn’t valued as much as it is today. Slavery existed; people were executed after being judged during covert trials in which, often times, the accused didn’t even know the charges brought against him nor whether there was any evidence of his crimes. Furthermore, the accused didn’t have the slightest opportunity to defend himself. Public floggings were turned into public street shows: these things were as common back then as a game of football is today. I killed to save myself. I’m sure anyone would have done the same if they were in my place. However, this doesn’t justify my crimes; I know that.

  “Shallem didn’t feel the least bit of pity for the girl. He mistreated her deliberately, as if she were to blame for the pain he felt. However, it no longer seemed like Shallem was in pain; it seemed like all he felt was hate. A hate he took out on the woman. I didn’t understand why he was doing such a thing, why he was treating her so brutally. I felt bad. Instantaneous and painless death is one thing, but to make someone suffer unnecessarily was another. Then I trembled. Not because of the girl’s imminent death or for her suffering, but rather because I was about to go through another transformation.

  “Shallem, with extraordinary arrogance, attentively observed the girl as she lay on the floor crying. Suddenly, she began to convulse; her mouth opened and her eyes rolled to the back of her head. All of the sudden, she was as still as a discarded puppet. I watched everything fascinated.

  “Then, Shallem looked at me and everything happened like it had before, except more quickly. I immediately felt sleepy, looked at the body that was waiting for me, this time without resistance nor refusal, and then I felt myself being absorbed into it. Shallem kissed the cheek that he had slapped before and whose pain I felt now, and then helped me stand. I looked at my old body on the bed.

  “ ‘Shallem, the girl’s soul,’ Cannat said. ‘I don’t want it in my house.’

  “Shallem looked at him as if he were a monster and then stared at the ceiling. My old body moved when the girl’s soul went into it. She started to scream agonizingly; she was aware of everything that had happened. Shallem held me as I watched hypnotized, with my new eyes, how her soul suffered in my old and sick body. And now she looked at me, I mean, she looked at herself. She was on the brink of delirium.

  “I watched Cannat approach the bed and pick up the condemned body. ‘I’ll get rid of her,’ he said and took her to a field where the wind could spread her ashes among the roses.

  “Cannat didn’t like to explain things to humans, so later he also got rid of our servants, an old couple, my orphaned chamber maid and her younger brother. No one knocked on our door looking for them.”

  –V–

  “My spirit was one hundred and twenty-six years-old since it first made its debut in Saint-Ange. However, four hundred and twenty-six years had gone by since Juliette Cressé was born. It was now 1624.

  “My new body was beautiful. My hair was darker than before and long, curly eyelashes framed my grey eyes. My features were delicate.

  “For the first few hours, I was tortured by the strange visions coming from the girl’s young, but full, mind. I was scared again, frightened they were never going to end, that I would have to endure the memory of those unfamiliar people and places forever. But, just as before, my spirit overtook the flesh and erased all the memories within it.r />
  “Naturally, for the first few days I was disoriented. It was somewhat similar to my previous experience but it was much less pronounced, more vague and undefined. I was no longer a novice; I knew I would soon become accustomed to the new sensations. I felt weaker but that was because this girl’s body was weaker than Ingrid’s had been. Nevertheless, I quickly learned how to move with ease and how to adjust my strength according to the activity. The weakness I felt was purely physical. I had been reborn into twenty year old flesh so on the inside I felt full of life. Exuberant in my joie de vivre.

  “At first, Shallem couldn’t take his eyes off me. And Cannat, in turn, scrutinized all of my gestures and every word I spoke. He was trying to discover if I had developed any new or strange customs and beliefs, if there were any changes in my tastes. He was always searching for any signs of changes in my personality that could infer negative changes to my spirit; more specifically, he was looking for anything that could upset Shallem and make him regret his decision.

  “ ‘Where did these old, dull, and dark clothes come from? You’ve never worn such rancid colors before,’ Cannat said, worried.

  “ ‘It’s the style in Paris,’ I answered. ‘Colorful clothes are no longer being worn. Richelieu has prohibited gold and silver trimmings.’

  “ ‘I’ve seen more festive dresses during a wake. I’m sure you can find fabrics like the ones you always wore. And if not, we’ll go east to find them,’ he insisted.

  “ ‘Why are you eating so many oranges? You never liked oranges that much,’ he said.

  “ ‘I’ve always like oranges, but this year they are sweeter than ever. They’re delicious,’ I responded.

  “He worried most about the way I spoke, the way I viewed what was going on around me. He was displeased when I showed interest in anything related to humans except, of course, for art, literature, wine, clothes or jewelry. Also, he was constantly censoring my inner most thoughts.