Dirty Chaos

by L. A. Corvill

  Me: I’m not in the mood

  Nolan: Believe me, this will put you the mood

  Nolan: BTW, bring your gear

  I quickly put on yoga pants and a t-shirt, throw my hair into a bun, and grab my tennis shoes. I might know where we are going but if I’m wrong then I’ll make him take me to the track.

  I peek out my window and see his truck; I grab my bag and run downstairs.

  “Mom, I’ll be back in a bit, I’m going out with Nolan!” I shout as I run toward the front door. Just then, I see my mother in my peripheral vision, rounding the corner from the living room. My parents have flown back to be with me on my first day back to school, and it’s always been a ritual that my dad makes my favorite breakfast and sees me off.

  “Lola, Jack will suspend you again if you go to the track after hours. It’s against his rules. And I will ground you if you even place your ass on the seat of that bike,” she says, glaring at me, and looking down at my bag.

  “I know,” I say to her, giving her a kiss on her cheek. I storm out the door before she has anything else to say.

  “Hey you two, I wasn’t expecting both of you. Wait. What gear was I supposed to bring?” I ask confused, scooting into the middle seat of the truck. I had automatically grabbed my bag that contained my riding gear and, hadn’t even thought about getting my ballet bag.

  “Your riding gear, babe. What did you think?” Brian asks.

  “Oh, I know what she’s thinking,” Nolan replies. I smack him against his chest and Brian leans in, kissing me on my cheek.

  Nolan speeds down the road and turns toward the track; automatically, a smile breaks across my face.

  “I love you guys, this is going to make my day,” I say to both of them. My mother didn’t want me out on the track today since tomorrow we start school and she fears me getting hurt, but this is who I am and it’s what I love.

  The track looks beautiful. I quickly dress in my gear and walk toward the garage where my bike is stored. I reach for the handle to slide the garage door open when I hear a voice behind me.

  “No stupid stunts, Lola. If I see you attempt to pull one off, your ass will be off the track. Only riding will be allowed today,” Jack warns. I wink at him and rush to get my bike.

  I slip on my helmet and take a seat on my baby. I close my eyes as I grab onto the handles to start it. My foot positions itself on the lever, and I kick start my bike, hearing it rumble. I feel the vibration of the engine throughout my body and my heart begins to beat a little faster. The adrenaline is kicking in, taking control of my body. Yes, dancing helped me through my emotions, but riding will help to diminish them. I slowly ride out of the garage, taking Spencer onto the track. I push off my bike until I gain speed. Going over the first hill feels like a weight has been lifted.

  The bright sky is now dark and starry. I see Brian and Nolan on the bleachers watching and Jack is at the starting point signaling me to bring it in. I slowly approach Jack to signal to him one more round. He picks up his hand with his index finger, pointing up and circling it to give me the okay. I take this last round slow, taking in each hill and curve, prolonging getting off Spencer. My time ends when I pull up right in front of Jack.

  “Thank you, I really needed this today.”

  “I know, but Lola I’m dead serious when I say you will ride my way. If you even dare to pull off what you did, I will have no choice but to ban you. Remember, safety is always first. I would hate to see you get hurt or worse, killed,” he says, looking at me with concern in his eyes.

  “And I’m dead serious when I say no one -I mean no one- rides my bike but me,” I tell him, looking him right in his eyes.

  “I know kid. Now get your butt home, I promised your mom I would make you go home early,” he laughs and pats my back.

  “You talked to her?”

  “Yeah. She called warning me that you might be headed this way. She made me promise her that you’d only ride today and no stunts. She didn’t want you hurt on your first day of school. Now get your ass home before we both get in trouble.” He laughs as Brian takes my bike from me and walks it into the garage. I don’t even bother to change out of my gear, I just need to get home before my mom starts calling.

  I got my adrenaline fix and it diminished all these bad feelings I had earlier. I know this doesn’t change anything, my life is still up in chaos, but at least for now I can find comfort in knowing that I have some time to figure things out.

  Brian and Nolan drop me off. I kiss both of them goodbye and tell them I’ll call them later. I walk in and see the kitchen light on; my grandmother is boiling some water in the teapot.

  “Lolita, you’re home,” she says to me without turning around from the stove. I see her reach for two mugs and place them next to the stove.

  I jump onto the counter and she turns around eyeing me, “Niña, you’re dirty. Go shower, I’ll have your te de manzanilla ready when you come back down,” she says, breaking up the herbs to place them in the water.

  I’m back downstairs after my shower. I walk into the kitchen and see my grandmother placing two mugs on the counter.

  “Come sit and drink your tea,” she tells me.

  “Thank you, Abuelita.” I have been drinking chamomile tea since I was a child. My grandmother always makes it, saying it will keep me, sana. It always helps me sleep and eases my anxiety, among other things. I sip on my tea and feel the warmth of the liquid in my mouth. The smell of chamomile always reminds me of my grandmother and I always associate her with comfort. We sit in silence sipping on our tea. I finish mine and place my mug in the sink.

  “Goodnight,” I say, turning to head upstairs. Right before I exit the kitchen, my grandmother’s voice stops me.

  “Life is like riding your bike: it might be smooth for a while, then without warning it gets bumpy and rough. You might feel like you’re losing your grip but it is always up to you if you want to grip it tighter or let go,” she says casually. I know where she is going with this. She knows me so well and she knows how to put things into perspective, in a way I can relate to.

  “I know. It’s just difficult to hold on when you have no strength,” I say without turning to look at her. The strength I’m referring to is my direction in life. What is there to hold on to when you can’t even reach the handle? I turn and head upstairs.

  All I have ever wanted to do was become a pro rider. Since I was three years old, my father put me on a bike and I was done for. That is all I ever did. I breathed, ate, slept, and woke up just to ride. My parents literally had to rip the handlebars from my tiny hands every day, and it was even worse as I got older. I love that both my parents were very supportive of my addiction, especially since it has kept me out of trouble. It also helped, that I had my Uncle Jack in my corner. He is a retired motocross biker and he told my parents that I had a gift, that I could go a long way.

  I was preparing to go pro in freestyle when my father passed away at age forty-five from a heart attack. Something we were not prepared for. It was a very emotional time for my mother, my sister, and I. I didn’t want to leave my mother alone to deal with her pain, so I put my dreams on hold. My father was the best father and husband, and I thank God for the time we got to spend with him, even if it was short. I miss him every day.

  My mother was just getting better, when due to cutbacks a month ago, she lost her job in the factory. With no money saved and no job opportunities in our home-town, she decided to move us to Shadow Springs to be close to my Uncle Jack and his family. A fresh start she called it. My Aunt Mona was able to offered my mother a job as secretary to one of the lawyers in town, well, the only lawyer in town. My uncle opened the doors of his house to us, until my mother could get back on her feet. The only downside is that I have my cousin Mark to deal with, irritating bastard that he is.

  “Want to go see the track, Luka?” Uncle Jack asks when we arrive.

  “Heck yeah. I have been dying to see it.”

  As soon as we walk into the ba
ck of the shop, I fell in love, taking in the set-up my uncle has; smooth curves and flawless lines, the smell of fresh air and dirt. God, it’s beautiful. I am like a four-year-old at Christmas. I can’t wait to get on my bike and take the ramps and hills. I am going to spend as much of my time here as I can, the only thing getting in the way will be school.

  I have a one-track mind: to get a spot on the X-Games freestyle card. Only ten competitors make it; you have to be the best to have a shot. I have to do the circuit, get the best times, and nail every stunt to be able to compete on a professional level.

  My Uncle Jack already contacted some scouts that had been interested in me back in the day to see if they would want to sponsor me. Too bad my bike is not here in town since my mother sold her truck to help with the move. We only have my Camaro now, and my bike didn’t fit, but one of my mother’s former ex-coworker’s husband is going to come and bring all our furniture and my bike in a few days.

  What I would do to be on that track today. Just to touch the tires to the dirt and smell the exhaust.

  “Can’t wait to get on my bike to try the height of those ramps, Uncle Jack.” Some of the ramps look pretty high. I wonder why he hasn’t taken anyone from here to be pro. He hasn’t mentioned any contenders or that I was going to have to split him up for coaching. Mark never showed any interest in motocross. Uncle Jack was one of the best out there, but his career came to end when he was severely injured during a dangerous stunt. We thought we had lost him for a few minutes. Once he recovered, he gave up his dream and settled on being a mechanic.

  “I think I have a bike that you can use for the next few days if you want to try it. I have to warn you, this bike belongs to someone that will murder you if they find out that you are using it. They are very protective of what is theirs,” he warns. Then why does he want me to use it? I voice the question.

  “Because I know that you will take care of it and be grateful to be riding it. Only you can understand the beauty of this bike. Most importantly, I know you will not fall and damage it. Cole will have my head if there is a scratch on it.”

  “Ok. I promise I won’t hurt it. Where is it?”

  “It’s in the garage,” he says as he moves to go back to the shop.

  “If this Cole is very possessive, why leave it here?” I would not leave my bike with anyone if I could help it. I think this has been the longest time I have been separated from my bike since I got it six years ago.

  “It was not by choice. The stupid kid did a stunt out on the field alone with no one here to supervise and wiped out, so I took the bike away, to teach the kid a lesson.”

  I know my uncle did what he thought is best. Since the accident, he is very cautious with the riders that he teaches. He opens the garage door, turning on the light inside, and I fall in love again. Black on black stares back at me. The dirt bike is gorgeous, stunning. It is expensive to have it custom made so I know this cost a pretty penny.

  “Holy fuck! Wow. Uncle Jack, this is a beauty.” A whistle escapes my lips.

  I go all the way inside to get a better look. It has no stickers or flashy signs, only the #122. It looks weightless, so it must be fast. I have no idea how this Cole guy can sleep without his bike with him.

  “Are you freaking kidding me Uncle Jack? This bike is awesome. I would kill to have something like this,” I say as I touch the smooth leather seat.

  “Well, you want to hop on and take it out?”

  “Heck yeah!”

  I start the bike and it purrs to life. I make my way to the track and just go for a ride. I don’t have my protective gear on so I can’t do any jumps off the ramp. Uncle Jack will have my head if I do.

  Today is the first day of school, and I hate being new. My cousin Mark mentioned that mostly everyone has known each other since birth, meaning nobody will want to include a guy like me in their circle. I shut the door to my Camaro and walk toward the front of the school, my cousin Mark talking endlessly at my side.

  “This year it is going to be epic.” He has been saying that since the first day I got here. I have no idea what he is talking about, and do I care? Nope.

  We walk inside the school. There are students talking in groups in front of their lockers, but when they see me, everyone stops talking. I get that a lot; it’s my bad boy look. I have tattoos and a beautiful face. What can I say? I’m hot. I have had my fair share of the opposite sex. I see the guys giving me the evil eye, and the girls, I think I just heard some of them moan as I walked by. Can’t wait to sample the female student body.

  “Told you it was going to be epic. I can be your perfect wingman. We can share the honeys, Luka,” Mark says as I shove him. Bastard. One thing I don’t do is share, ever.

  “I need to go to the office to register,” I say to Mark as I open the door to the office. He walks in right behind me.

  My mother has been so busy at her new job that she didn’t have time to enroll me. I hope I can get everything squared away. I walk into the office, which is small compared to my old high school’s office. The two doors to my right read Principal and Counselor, and to our left one door reads Nurse’s Office. Right in the middle is a U-shaped counter. Right behind it is an old woman who looks like she has one foot in the grave.

  Standing in front of said old woman is a girl with a killer body and long legs. A waterfall of dark hair cascades down her back. She has a dancer’s body. I love dancers; they’re the most flexible.

  “What do you mean I can’t drop my last class, Mrs. Cleary?” I hear her argue.

  “Lola, sorry, but rules are rules. You need that class to graduate. And I can’t change that. Besides, you know we can’t change schedules once school starts. That is why we sent your schedules in the mail, so you can have time to change prior to the first day of school.”

  “But Home Economics is not even a class. It’s just a bunch of stupid girls training to be housewives. Mrs. Cleary, honestly, do you see me as a housewife someday? Please, I need to have my last period free for my dance class.”

  I knew it. She’s a dancer. I am never wrong. I see Mrs. Cleary looking at Lola and trying not to smile.

  “I’ll see what I can do. But be nice to the girls in that class for the time being, Lola. Besides, some of the most famous chefs started their love for food in Home Ec.” Mrs. Cleary looks at her computer and types away.

  “Really, Mrs. Cleary a dumb elective will not stop me from practicing. And I don’t make fun of anyone. They’re the mean ones. I know that my grandmother put you up to this. We always get our mail. My schedule was not lost, it was probably never sent.”

  “Go to class and I will call you if we make any changes.”

  I have been eavesdropping on their conversation instead of paying attention to Mark talking next to me about what classes to take. All I know is that I want Home Economics last period.

  I lean into her to smell her and she chooses that moment to turn around. We kind of jump into each other, she is startled that we are that close. She drops her books, and then bends down to pick them up. I know the gentlemanly thing to do is help her but I am left stunned by the most gorgeous violet eyes that I’ve ever seen.

  “Already have them dropping at your feet, cousin.” Mark smirks from my left. I am about to get down and help her when a guy comes out of the counselor’s office and approaches her.

  “Lola, what happened?” he says, eyeing Mark and me as he bends to help her get all her.

  “Nothing, Nolan. I just crashed into this guy,” she says, not looking up.

  “Hey Nolan, what’s up? I’d like you to meet my cousin, Luka. He’s from Canada,” Mark says, trying to cut through the tension I’d just realized was there.

  “What’s up?” he says, never introducing the girl to me, but then again, I wouldn’t either if she was my girlfriend. I have stolen girls from a lot of guys before, and this one is going to be mine, too. I think he knows that, and that is why he looks so protective.

  She removes some of her hair fr
om her face and looks up at me. I see her nose flare and her eyes dilate. She looks angry, like she is about to fight. I have never gotten that reaction before. The guy grabs her elbow like he knows she is about to pounce. I see her body relax and melt into his. All I can think of is ripping his body from touching hers.

  “Lola, let’s go. We have to meet up with Brian,” Nolan tells her, grabbing her elbow to move her toward the doors. He seems in a hurry. She shakes her head, like clearing it of any thoughts. Nolan pulls her toward the doors and they walk out of there together. She doesn’t look back once.

  “That chick is hot, Mark. Too bad she is taken,” I say as I see her walking away down the halls through the glass double doors of the office.

  “Seriously, Luka, she will never give you the time of day even if you are hot. Besides, she is not taken. Nolan is like her brother; she’s a lesbian,” Mark says, looking at me like if I have lost my mind.

  “Humph,” is all I say. That girl is clearly no lesbian, and that guy was totally pissing on his territory just now. The way she melted into him, that is no sibling thing; there is more to it than that.

  I move to the counter where Mrs. Cleary is looking at me with a gleam in her eye. There is some planning going on in her head.

  “Mrs. Cleary, I’m Luka and I don’t care what my schedule looks like. All I know is that I want Home Economics as my last class,” I request with my heart-stopping full smile.

  She looks at me fully and smiles the biggest smile I have seen to date. She looks like she is about to do something sneaky.

  It’s torture being here. I already hate this class and the school year just started. I take my seat in the back of class, hoping it will magically mask me into the background and no one will ever know I’m here.

  I hear giggles and see the girls staring at me. I stare right back at them.

  “Oh, look at her. She’s going to attempt being a real girl,” Beth says to the other girls around her. They all start laughing.

  “I doubt that’s possible, it’s a little too late for that,” Maggie says.