Live Like You Mean It
Page 15
“You can do DNA, you know? Make whoever it is pay child support or something.” She might not have to work so hard if the douchebag, whoever he was, did his share.
Leah looked at me like I was crazy. “You mean force someone into Aiden’s life who doesn’t want to be there?” She shook her head. “No. He deserves better than that.”
But so did she. She deserved better too.
I hated that look of judgment in his eyes. It sounded bad. I knew it did. I didn’t know who the father of my child was. Part of me always hoped it was Robbie because he really was gone forever. I’d never have to worry about him showing back up and making a claim on Aiden, not that either of the other two were likely to do so, but death was pretty final.
“You know,” I said softly, “it’s not a part of my life I’m very proud of. And if I could do things over again, I would, but—” his clear blue eyes settled on me, waiting for whatever I was going to say next “—but I wouldn’t trade Aiden for anything. There’s nothing in the world I love like him.”
“That’s the way it’s supposed to be.” He squeezed my hand. “Your parents are supposed to love you like that. Not everyone’s do though. So he’s pretty lucky to have you.”
I couldn’t help but smile at that. Brody really was a great guy, even if he didn’t want anyone else to know it. “I was pretty lucky too. My dad was the greatest in the world.” Just talking about him made my throat start to constrict. “It’s been five years, but I can barely think about him without crying my eyes out. I don’t think I’ll ever stop missing him.”
“I’d give you mine—” he grinned “—but he’s kind of a dick.”
A laugh escaped me. “He’s not really that bad, is he?”
“He’s even worse than I’m letting on,” he assured me. “He thinks he has a right to intrude in every aspect of my life.”
After becoming a mother, I looked at parenthood differently than I used to. It was one of those things you couldn’t possibly understand until you experienced it. “I’m sure he just wants what’s best for you.” I know my Mom wanted what was best for me. She just didn’t go about it in a way that made sense all the time.
Brody snorted. “He wants to control me. Like he controlled my mother right into a bottle that she’s never climbed out of. Like he’s controlled Bryce into a miserable existence. And I won’t let him do that to me. It’s my life. I’m the one who gets to live it. Not him.”
“He doesn’t get your music,” I said, remembering that earlier conversation back at The Grill.
Brody’s brow lifted in annoyance. “He doesn’t get anything about me. He never has. If I never had to see him again, I’d consider myself lucky.”
It was easy to say that until that person was gone forever and you couldn’t see them, no matter what. “If my dad was still here, my life would be completely different than it is,” I said. “I’d have never ended up doing the wrong things with the wrong people. I was so lost with him gone, you know? I just needed someone, something to fill that void he left.” But no one ever had. Drinking, drugs, a ton of sex, but the hole in my heart was as empty as it had been the day I found out Dad had died. Well, almost. Aiden filled part of that emptiness, for sure, but it was different. “I feel this enormous pressure all the time, like I have to always do the right thing for Aiden at every step of the way because that’s what Dad would have done for me.”
“I think you’re succeeding at that.” Brody looked over to where Aiden was burying his plane in a pile of woodchips. “He’s a great kid.”
“Thanks. I think he’s pretty wonderful.”
He slid closer to me on the bench and pressed a kiss to my temple. “I’m pretty partial to his mom, though.”
“Oh yeah?” I couldn’t help but grin.
He nodded with mock seriousness. “Yeah. She’s sexy as hell. I can’t get enough of her.”
My face heated up as I met his gaze. God, I swear I could stare into those eyes of his all day and night and never get tired. The smoldering look he sent me made lust wash over me in waves. I didn’t think I could ever get enough of him either.
“Last night’ll replay in my mind over and over until I can get her back in bed.”
“Pretty sure she can’t wait to be there.”
Brody’s blue eyes twinkled a bit wickedly. “Your next night off is Thursday, huh?”
He really did mean to stick around. I almost sighed. How had I gotten so lucky? “Maybe I could come by after Aiden’s in bed.”
“Maybe you could come by Tuesday after work, and Wednesday...”
I laughed. I was so happy, I couldn’t help it. “You know I have school in the mornings, right?”
He nodded. “I’ll make it worth your while.”
And he would, I had no doubt. Yep. I was in trouble. Way over my head. And I didn’t want to be anywhere else.
Brody’s cell rang and he pulled his phone out of his pocket. He looked at the screen, frowned and hit the button to ignore the call.
What was that about? My face must have said as much because he blew out a breath. “My dad.”
“You don’t wanna talk to him?”
“Nope.”
Wow. He really didn’t like him. That was too bad. I’d give up almost everything I had to have one more day with my dad. “Well, we should probably be getting back. Mom’ll be home from church and I’ll have to help her with brunch.”
Brody’s brow lifted in surprise. “You mean you can cook too?”
“I help out,” I hedged. I mean, Mom was the mastermind in the kitchen. I just followed orders well.
“I get the feeling you’re a girl with many talents, Leah, and I’ve only discovered just a few of them.”
Better to be mysterious, right? Keep him interested? “You never know,” I said before pushing off the bench and walking toward Aiden and the mountain of woodchips he’d piled on top of his battered airplane. “Come on, sweetie. We gotta go home.”
I was not good in the kitchen. No one in my family was, but I wished, in that moment, that I was halfway decent. If I was, I could be helping Leah and Mrs. Willett with brunch, instead of sitting in a recliner in front of the TV with Leah’s brother watching fucking baseball of all the god awful things in the world.
I’d never been a sports fan. But at least things happened in football or basketball. Baseball was like watching paint dry. But since the guy played it, I didn’t dare say so out loud. I got the feeling he was just barely putting up with my presence anyway.
“Go, go, go, go, go!” Mike Willett yelled at the TV screen like his yells might possibly make the guy running to a base go faster.
Aiden rushed into the TV room and dropped an armful of paper in my lap. “More airplanes, Brody.”
“More airplanes?” I looked down at the mess of Leah’s school papers that now littered my lap. She was not gonna be happy about that. “I think these are your mom’s, buddy.”
“More airplanes,” he said again, looking up at me with those gray eyes that were so much like Leah’s.
“Yeah, ok,” I said. “But your mom said we couldn’t use her papers. You have art paper or something, right?”
And he took off before I could even finish my sentence. I felt Mike Willett’s eyes on me, but I didn’t glance over at him. Instead, I straightened Leah’s papers and put them on the table beside me.
I mean, clearly, the guy didn’t like me. He was Jason’s best friend. It was a miracle he was sitting in the same room with me. Liking me would take time and maybe an act of God.
The doorbell rang and Mike pushed out of his recliner to answer it. “Whoa, whoa, whoa!” he said from the hallway. “Slow down, Aiden, or you’ll crack your head open.”
A second later, the little boy burst into the TV room and tossed a handful of color papers into my lap. He grinned and I couldn’t help but laugh. He probably got everything he wanted just from looking at people with those innocent eyes of his.
“We should probably take this to the k
itchen table,” I said, straightening the papers as I stood up. “It’ll make it easier to fold.” And I’d be a lot more comfortable not hanging out with Mike Willett too.
“Ok,” he said in a sing-songy voice.
Then the little rascal ran off ahead of me toward the kitchen, leaving a trail of papers in his wake. Damn it. He was gonna get me in trouble with Mrs. Willett over his mess. Or not. I had no idea, but I didn’t want to take any chances since Leah’s mom seemed to like me at the moment. So I bent down to collect the pile of Aiden’s stray papers.
Mike Willett walked back into the TV room, holding hands with some bouncy brunette just as I stood back up with an armful of art paper.
The brunette looked kinda familiar, but I couldn’t really place her. I smiled in greeting. “Hey.”
She sucked in a breath and her face twisted up like she’d swallowed a bug. Not the best look.
So Willett’s girlfriend was as interesting as he was, huh? Stood to reason, I guess. “Well, uh, I got some airplanes to make.” And then I started for the kitchen.
Damn it. Another pile of papers were strewn all over the hallway too. What did the kid do? Throw everything up in the air like was confetti? As I started to pick up Aiden’s second mess, I heard someone clear their throat behind me.
I glanced over my shoulder to find Willett’s girlfriend, her arms folded across her chest, glaring at me. “What are you doing here?” she hissed.
What the fuck was it to her? “What? I know you or something?” I asked.
She looked like she swallowed another bug. “If you tell Mike, I’ll…” Her voice faded off, like she wasn’t sure what she could threaten me with. “…Well, then Leah will find out.”
Shit. I did recognize the brunette, right in that second. I’d fucked her this last summer, outside the coffeehouse where I’d been playing guitar, trying out the stuff I was gonna send to Johnny Staub. She’d walked right up to me and dragged me out the back door at the end of my set, and didn’t even say a word. She’d blown me, and then I’d fucked her right against the back wall.
Shit. What were the fucking odds? I mean, I guess the odds weren’t that outrageous. I’d, you know, had my share of girls. Or, maybe more than my share, not that any of that mattered at the moment. The fact that one of those girls was Mike Willett’s girlfriend was not a happy coincidence for me. Leah’s brother already hated me. And I’d fucked his girlfriend.
But I didn’t appreciate the blackmail threat, either. “Look, I don’t even know your name.”
“Meghan,” she spat, like I should have remembered this piece of information. I’m not even sure if she ever told me her name. We hadn’t done a lot of talking that night.
“Yeah well, Meghan, I barely remember you,” I replied. “And I’ve never fucked up anyone’s life on purpose. But don’t you dare threaten me. You want to tell Leah what happened between us, go for it. I didn’t even know her this summer and she’s well aware I wasn’t a choirboy before I met her.” Jason Cole had seen to that last part.
“Just leave,” she said. “You shouldn’t even be here.”
“I was invited here,” I replied, and I was starting to get pissed. Who was she to say where I should or shouldn’t be?
“Just go somewhere else,” she demanded. “It’s not like Leah could even mean anything to you so. So just…go.” And the way she said Leah’s name pricked at my protective instincts. She said it like Leah was completely beneath her, not worth my or anyone else’s time or notice. She had no idea how wrong she was.
I snorted. Meghan was a typical Wheston sorority girl, I’d bet money on it. The kind who knew they were better than everyone else. The kind who’d been born with a trust fund the size of a small nation’s GDP. The kind who only ever thought about themselves. “Just so we’re clear, Leah is the most amazing girl I’ve ever met. And I’m not going anywhere.”
Then I started back for the kitchen with my armful of art paper before she could try to stop me again.
“Meghan,” Mike Willett’s voice hit my ears just as I was about to step into the kitchen. “I think we should have a talk.”
I glanced back to find the baseball player’s eyes trained on me, and there wasn’t a doubt in my mind that he’d overheard all or most of that conversation. She’d been an idiot to talk to me when he was in the next room.
As soon as I folded my last airplane for Aiden, I was positive Mike Willett was gonna kick my ass and then throw me out on it. Shit.
“Brody, you ok?” Leah asked, as she dried her hands on a paper towel by the sink.
“Yeah,” I lied.
“Brody make me more airplanes,” Aiden announced as he swung his legs back and forth at the kitchen table.
“Brody’s gonna make you more airplanes?” Leah started toward the table. “Maybe you should let Brody watch the game with Uncle Mike.”
That was the last thing in the world I wanted to do. It had been awkward before, but now, with that girl Meghan in there… “I don’t mind.” I slid into a chair beside Aiden and said, “Buddy, you left all of this in the hallway. What are you doing?” as I dropped the papers in the middle of the table.
He giggled.
“You’ll be making him airplanes until your fingers fall off,” Mrs. Willett called from the stove where she was stirring something that smelled good.
I had a feeling she was right. “I’m doing as good as I can right now. I can’t remember some of the more intricate ones.”
“He doesn’t need intricate,” Mrs. Willett replied. “He just needs an air force.”
I bet she was right about that too, not that I could really focus on airplanes at the moment. Not knowing that my welcome in Willett household was about to be ripped out from under my feet.
Leah came up behind me and squeezed my shoulders. “You sure you’re ok?”
I looked up at her and those pretty gray eyes of hers made my heart squeeze. I’d talked up a big game out in the hallway with that girl Meghan. And everything I’d said was true. I hadn’t known Leah back then, and Leah was definitely aware of my reputation, but being aware of it and finding out I’d fucked her brother’s girlfriend were two different things.
So I was just sitting in Leah’s kitchen, biding my time before the shouting began, enjoying the last few minutes of her looking at me with those pretty eyes while she still liked me. I’d have done just about anything in the world to make that minute last forever. But nothing ever does last forever, and I knew it.
A door somewhere slammed and even the windows in the breakfast nook shook in their panes.
“The goddamn cat, Meghan!” Mike bellowed from the hallway. “Shit!”
“Michael Frederick Willett!” his mother wiped her hands on her apron as she started for the hallway. “What in the world?”
“The stupid cat got out again,” his disembodied voice complained.
“Winston!” Mrs. Willett touched a hand to her heart.
“Kitty, kitty!” Aiden sang softly beside me.
A half-second later, Mike Willett appeared in the doorway of the kitchen and he pointed at me. “You get to help me find him.”
“Sure,” I said, abandoning the airplane I’d just started and pushing out of my chair.
“I help too,” Aiden said, sliding from his chair next to me.
“You stay,” Mike ordered the little boy. “I can’t be watching you if I’m looking for the cat.”
The sharpness of his tone made Aiden start to cry, which earned Willett a scathing look from Leah. “Really, Mike,” she complained.
Willett’s eyes were on me though, hatred, fury, irritation flashing in his depths. “We gotta go now.”
And only one of us was coming back. At least the yelling and accusations wouldn’t have an audience. At least I wouldn’t have to watch Leah’s heart break. “Yeah, ok.”
I followed the baseball player out into his front yard just in time to see a bright yellow Miata peel out of the driveway and race down the street.
He wasn’t going to hand my ass back to me yet, huh? Maybe if I found the cat, I could even figure a way out of this mess. So I made my way to the other side of the house and dropped to my hands and knees too, peering under a large Rhododendron.
And I smiled in relief. God was apparently taking pity on me this afternoon. A pair of golden cat eyes stared back at me. “Hi, Winston,” I cooed.
“You find him?” Willett called.
“Yeah.” I started to reach for the black and white cat, but…
“Don’t move,” Leah’s brother said. “He’ll just wait until you almost have him to run off again.” Then he came up behind me. “I’ll go to the other side to head him off.” He crouched down at the far end of the line of bushes. “Did you, uh, fuck my girlfriend?”
Shit. We were gonna do this now? I kept my eyes fixed on Winston’s golden ones. “Pretty sure you know the answer to that already,” I returned calmly, not wanting to frighten the cat away.
“Just wanted to know if you’d deny it.”
What was the point in that? He already knew the truth. “Man, I didn’t know she was your girlfriend. I didn’t even know you until today.”
“Yeah,” he agreed. “I still want to crash my fist into your face though.”
“Yeah.” I could see that. I’d probably feel the same in his shoes. If he gave me a black eye, between Cade and me, Desolate Sun could have a new look. Everyone in the band would have to get the shit beat out of him by some girl’s boyfriend to achieve the right appearance.
“But I heard what you said about my sister and—” He sucked in a quick breath. “Don’t let him go the other way!”
Winston had edged back toward the front door as we’d talked. So I moved slightly in that direction to keep him from getting away from us. “You want me to try and grab him now?”