Live Like You Mean It
Page 20
Jason started toward me. “You’ve been behind the beat all night and you sound like shit.”
I balled my hand in a fist. “Fuck off, Jason.” Lucky for him, my phone vibrated in my back pocket. It could be Leah finally calling back…
I pulled my phone out but instead of seeing her name, I saw my brother Bryce’s. I frowned at our singer. “Gotta take this. Back the fuck off.” Then I answered the call as I jumped down from the stage. “Hey, what’s up?”
“You’re my hero,” my older brother began, “or rather your girlfriend is. She really splashed a whole glass of water in Dad’s face?”
I pushed my way through the crowd toward the back of the courtyard where there were a lot less people and smiled at the memory of our father so completely speechless with water dripping from his nose and chin. “He had it coming.”
Bryce laughed. “He always has it coming, he just never gets it. God, I wish I could have seen that. Would have been the highlight of my life.”
“It was pretty priceless,” I said.
“Take my advice, Brody, don’t let that girl get away. You ought to marry her quick.”
Marry her. Bryce was out of his mind. “Yeah well, she’s not even talking to me right now. So, pretty sure neither of us are gonna be saying ‘I do’ anytime soon.”
“Why isn’t she talking to you?”
That was the question of the hour, wasn’t it? I shook my head even though my brother couldn’t see me. “Dad,” was the easy answer. But, “She insisted on meeting him. I told her she didn’t want to do that. I told her, more than once, what a giant asshole he is. Even before we walked into the restaurant I tried to talk her out of it, but she wouldn’t listen to me.”
“And now she’s not talking to you? That doesn’t make any sense.”
I snorted. “Yeah, well, that’s what’s happening.”
“I’m sorry,” Bryce said and he sounded it, which made me feel a little better, not quite so alone.
“Oh, how are you doing with the whole appendicitis thing?” Really, I should have asked before now. I was a dick for not checking up on him. I was a shit brother.
“Thought I was gonna die,” he said. “But I’ve been better since I got home. Mom keeps coming over, making sure I’m still breathing. I could do with less of that.”
I laughed. I could just imagine Mom showing up on Bryce’s stoop every day with a new pillow or book or something. That’s how she was. When she was nervous or worried, she flitted. Or she drank. Flitting was better. “She doing ok?”
“Yeah, right now she is. Oh!” He sounded serious all of a sudden. “You broke Bray’s nose, by the way.”
Huh. No idea I’d hit him that hard. Not that I was sorry for it, and not that he hadn’t had it coming too. Brown-nosing prick. “Well, maybe he’ll mind his own fucking business in the future.”
“I wouldn’t count on it.”
No, I wouldn’t either.
Daniel was waving at me from the stage. “Hey, man, I gotta go,” I said. “Getting ready to start the next set.”
“Hey, it was good to hear your voice.”
“Yeah, you too.”
“And, uh, Brody,” Bryce began, more serious than he’d sounded thus far, “if this girl really means something to you, you gotta fix it. Don’t let Dad fuck that up.”
“I have no idea how to get her to talk to me.” I waved back at Daniel who was now using both arms to signal me like I was fucking blind.
“Use that charm of yours. Girls can’t ever seem to resist it. Besides,” he laughed slightly, “I’m hoping you’ll bring her home for Christmas and I can watch her dump some eggnog over Dad’s head or something.”
That would be more satisfying than water. “Yeah, no promises. Talk to you later.”
All the other guys were back on stage as I made my way through the crowd. Jason was still glaring at me, which only made me want to break his nose too. This was what I was used to from him though. Holier than thou, arrogant prick. He’d been halfway decent at brunch last week. Not welcoming, but nicer than usual, probably because Mrs. Willett…
Wait.
I might not be able to get Leah to take my calls or my texts. And I couldn’t swing by the ER without getting her into trouble, but… I did know where she’d be tomorrow morning, and with any luck, I could get her to talk to me face to face.
“Dude,” Daniel began, navigating his keyboard and walking toward me. “Your dad’s here.”
“What?” I breathed out. In all the years I’d played, my father had never once taken the time out of his busy schedule to hear me.
Daniel looked out toward the crowd. “By the Stokes building.”
Fuck. “How long has he been here?”
Daniel shrugged. “I don’t know. Spotted him during that last song.”
Perfect. As if I didn’t have enough on my mind, now I had to worry about my fucking dad and his dismissive and condescending attitude. I just wouldn’t look toward the Stokes building. That was all. There was no reason see the disgust he’d be sending my way.
“Just,” Daniel muttered, “don’t get behind the beat, ok?”
In other words, Jason was right and I was playing like shit, with my fucking father a witness to it all. “Yeah, thanks,” I grumbled. My day couldn’t be shittier.
“Is Brody coming for brunch?” Mom asked as she opened the refrigerator and pulled out a crate of eggs.
“Nope,” I said lots more cheerfully than I felt. But I hadn’t been able to tell her about Brody. Not after all the fuss she’d made about meeting him. Not after the stuff with Meghan and Mike. I just couldn’t find the words to tell her I’d fucked up again. That it had all been for nothing. “His dad’s still in town,” I lied, or maybe it wasn’t a lie. I had no idea.
Luckily, her cell phone rang before she could ask me any more questions, and she placed the eggs on the counter so she could check her screen. “Huh,” she said as she accepted the call. “Hi, Ginny.”
My aunt in New Orleans. She rarely called Mom. That was strange, but still lucky for me.
“Yeah, my address book is upstairs. I’ll go get it.” She started for the hallway.
So I pulled out the pan Mom was going to want for scrambled eggs so it would be ready when she got back. Then I went back to peeling apples to bake.
I was about halfway done with the bag when Jason walked into the kitchen, his mom right behind him. His eyes landed on me and I couldn’t quite read his expression, which was odd since I’d known him most of my life.
“Hey Mrs. Cole,” I said as I finished peeling the apple I was working on.
“Hi, sweetie.” She smiled. “Where’s your mom?”
“Talking to my Aunt Ginny, but she’ll be back in a minute, I’m sure.” Then I gestured toward the hallway. “Mike and Aiden are coloring in the TV room if you wanna sit down where it’s comfortable.”
Mrs. Cole had good days and bad days, and I always wanted to make sure she was comfortable, just in case.
“Coloring.” She smoothed her hand down Jason’s back. “I remember those days. You want to see whatever masterpiece little Aiden’s working on?”
Jason’s eyes were still on me though. His gaze hadn’t wavered in the slightest, and I felt a little uneasy from the intensity of his stare. “I’ll be there in a sec, Mom. Just want to talk to Leah for a minute.”
“Ok.” Mrs. Cole left the kitchen and then it was just Jason and me.
I picked up a new apple and started on the peel. “How did the Homecoming gig go?”
“We’ve played better,” he replied. Then he walked closer to the island, where I stood. “You doing ok?”
“Yeah,” I said, sounding just as cheerful as I had when I lied to my mom a few minutes before.
“Uh-huh.”
Though I don’t even know why I bothered lying. Jason knew the truth anyway. He’d been with Brody all last night. “Look.” I put the half-peeled apple on the counter and glanced back up at him. “I haven’
t said anything to Mom or Mike yet. So just do me a favor and don’t say anything to them, ok? At least not right now.”
“You wanna talk about it?”
A laugh I didn’t feel escaped me. “Why? You wanna tell me ‘I told you so’?”
“No.” A hurt expression flashed in his eyes. “I just want to make sure you’re ok. Like really ok. Not just you saying you’re ok when you’re not.”
“I’ve been through worse.” Which he knew was true.
Jason heaved an irritated sigh. “Do I need to kick his ass? Say the word and it’s done.”
I shook my head. “I just don’t want to hurt anymore, you know?”
“If it makes you feel any better, he looks like shit.”
That did make me feel a little better, not that I could say so out loud. “Hey, how’s Mike doing?” I asked, hoping to change the subject. “He swears he’s ok, but I don’t know if I should believe him.”
“Well, you know, it’s never easy breaking up, especially after two years, but—” Jason shrugged “—he’s doing better than I would’ve thought.” Then he snorted. “Might be the best thing Brody Campbell ever did. I could never figure out what Mike saw in Meghan in the first place.”
“That makes two of us,” I confided. Though I doubted Mike or Jason could figure out what I’d seen in Brody either. Or maybe they just thought I needed my head examined.
“Total bitch. He got off lucky.” He quirked a grin at me. “Hey don’t you know some nice girls in school you can send his way?”
I couldn’t help but smile back. “I know lots of nice girls at school, but they’re all in love with you.”
Jason’s eyes rounded in complete surprise and he stood up taller. “Me?”
I laughed at his expression. He really was so modest, it was fun to shock him. “You should have heard them at the study group thing I went to yesterday. Everyone was excited to hear you sing last night, talking about how gorgeous you are, how amazing you sound. Blah, blah, blah.”
“Blah, blah, blah? That’s all I get?”
“What, you want all the details?” I teased.
“That depends. How gorgeous am I?”
I laughed again, which felt good to do. Laughing hadn’t come easily the last few days. “If I told you, you’d never fit your head in the doorway again.”
He nodded, looking a little cockier than he usually did. “So I should hang out in the school of nursing, is what you’re saying.”
Truthfully, he could hang out anywhere. He was a great guy, better than the average, that’s for sure. He just didn’t have the time to worry or even think about himself these days.
Just then, the doorbell rang. Huh. Who would come by on a Sunday?
“Be right back,” I said. Then I started for the front door. Winston sat poised for an escape in the nearby shadows. Clearly, he thought I was too stupid to see all fifteen pounds of him waiting to jump outside as soon as I opened the door. “Nice try, butterball,” I muttered as I scooped the cat up into my arms.
Then I opened the door and almost dropped the cat at my feet. Brody stood on the front stoop, a single lavender rose in his hand.
He did look like shit. Jason was right about that. Dark circles under his eyes. It didn’t look like he’d slept at all the last two nights. Neither had I. My heart ached at the sight of him until I remembered the awful things his father had said to me, the things he could’ve only learned from Brody. Did he honestly think a rose, no matter how exotic the color, would make me forget everything?
“What are you doing here?” I asked, tightening my grasp on Winston who’d just started to struggle in my arms. Damn cat. He wasn’t gonna escape. Not on my watch.
God, it was so good to see her. She was like the antidote to all the ache I’d suffered through the last two days.
“Your mom invited me. Remember?”
Her jaw tightened a bit. “It’s not a standing invitation, Brody.”
Yeah, I knew that. But I wasn’t going to let it stand in my way. “Well, since you wouldn’t answer my calls or my texts, you didn’t really give me a choice, Leah.”
“Yeah, well, I don’t really have anything to say to you. So…”
So I could leave. But I wasn’t gonna leave. Not until she heard me out. “Good, then you can listen.”
The black and white cat in her arms started whining to be let down. She sighed, placed the cat on the floor and then stepped out onto the front stoop with me and closed the door behind us.
That was a good sign. She could have just shut the door in my face and gone about her day. I shook my head, trying to find the right words. I really only had one shot at this. So I lifted the rose out to her, which she took with a frown.
“A rose isn’t gonna make me forgive you, Brody.”
“Well, I’m not here to apologize,” I began. “When I fuck up, I’ll apologize, but I didn’t do anything.”
Her brow lifted in surprise.
Shit. This wasn’t going well. I had to change course or I’d lose her. “I’ve never met anyone like you,” I said quickly. “Not anyone that makes me feel the way I do when I’m with you. And I wouldn’t ever do anything to fuck that up, Leah. But you’ve gotta give me the benefit of the doubt. I haven’t ever lied to you. I mean, I’ve told you the truth about shit that makes me look bad, you know?”
Her eyes softened a bit. She opened her mouth like she was gonna say something, but then she closed it again. She had to know I was telling the truth. I didn’t have to tell her the truth about Meghan, but I had because I didn’t want to keep any secrets from her.
“I would never say anything about you or Aiden to my dad. Or my brother.” I shook my head. “I didn’t even say anything to my mom except for your name and your major ‘cause I’m pretty sure I’m in love with you and I have no idea how to explain that over the phone.”
She blinked at me and the muscles in her neck moved up and down like she was trying not cry. God, I didn’t want her to cry. “You think you’re in love with me?”
After the shitty way I’d felt the last two days, I was pretty sure I did love her. I wouldn’t still be thinking about her if I didn’t love her, would I? I mean, I’d never felt like this about any other girl in my life. I’d remember it if I had. But Leah was different from all the others. She was special and I didn’t want to be without her. The last two days had been fucking miserable. “Yeah,” I admitted, keeping my eyes on her, looking for any sign that she loved me too.
And then she threw her arms around my neck and buried her head against my chest. A thorn from her rose poked me in the back of the neck, but I didn’t care, not right then. I tightened my arms around her and just held her. Having her back in my arms was the first peace I’d felt in days. She felt so good pressed against me, like she was supposed to be there. And she smelled amazing, like fresh soap and faintly of her Calvin Klein perfume.
“I’m so afraid to love you,” she said softly.
Afraid? I didn’t even have a choice about loving her. I just…did. I pulled back slightly so I could see her. “What are you afraid of, babe?”
“Everything.” She shook her head, not looking at me. “It’s not just me, you know? It’s Aiden too. And I can’t make any mistakes. I have to make the right choice about everything and—”
I kissed her. I cupped her jaw with my hands and kissed her protests and fears away. Or I hoped that was what was doing. She clutched my shirt in her hands like she tended to do and she kissed me back, which was the first indication I had that she loved me too. She hadn’t said so, but I could feel it. I could feel it with the way she tangled her tongue with mine. I could feel it in the way she finally relaxed in my arms. And I could feel it by the swelling of my heart.
I lifted my head and stared down at her, and Leah blinked up at me with those pretty gray eyes. “We’re not a mistake, you and me,” I said, my voice raspy to my own ears. “We’re not. I want you for now and always, Leah. Don’t be afraid to love me back.”
Leah’s eyes slowly opened and there was such a sincerity in her depths that I felt it all the way in my soul.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I was just so hurt. I couldn’t believe you’d told your dad—”
“I didn’t tell him anything. I swear it on my life.”
She nodded, but I could tell she didn’t one hundred percent believe me. And while that grated a bit, I didn’t want to push the issue and push her away in the process.
“That first night at The Grill,” I began. “You remember you met my brother?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, he called me the next morning to warn me about Aiden. I guess there was some guy at his table who went to high school with you or something.”
All the breath seemed to whoosh from her, like I’d truly stunned her. “He called to warn you about Aiden?”
“I didn’t tell him anything,” I said again. “I wouldn’t ever do that.”
Leah pressed her face into her hands, and I knew she finally believed me. “I’m sorry, Brody,” she whispered. “I should have listened to you the other night. I’m so sorry.”
I released a breath I’d been holding for the last two days. I pulled her back into my arms and kissed the top of her head. God, I never wanted to let her go. “But you can’t keep walking away from me, babe,” I said. “You’re gonna kill me.”
“Mommy!” Aiden called from somewhere inside the house.
She pushed slightly away from me. “Hold on, Aiden.” Then she pressed up on her toes and brushed her lips against mine. “You wanna stay for brunch?”
Only every brunch for the rest of my life. “Well, your mom did invite me,” I teased.
“Uh-huh.” She shook her head as she laughed. Then she opened the door and tugged me inside before her mom’s cat could make his escape.