Striving for Normal (Striving Series)

by Mooney, B. L.

  Carl had come around to open my door while I was inspecting what I could see through the windows. I reluctantly got out and followed him up the landscaped path to his door. I stood on the front steps, looking out over the massive front yard. Everything looked picture perfect. Perfection makes me nervous. I stood there debating if I should go inside or not while he unlocked the door. I took out my phone and looked at him. “I want to text Terri your address.”

  He gave me the address without hesitation before he walked me inside. He allowed me time to send the text and then turned to me when he shut his front door. “You don’t trust much, do you?”

  “Have you given me any indication that I can trust you?”

  “I suppose not, but I hope one day you will trust me.” He gestured with his arm. “After you, the kitchen is through there.”

  ~*~

  “You’re cooking for me?” I walked in and had seen the state of disaster that the kitchen was in. Craig was cute standing there in an apron covered in . . . only God knows what.

  “Well, I tried. I don’t think it’s turning out very well, though.” Craig smiled. “It’s the thought that counts, right?”

  I smiled. He’d never done anything like this for me before, and I felt he was taking steps to further our relationship. I walked over and ran my fingers across his lips. “I think you have some flour or . . .” I kissed him. “Yep, flour.” I looked around again. “What’s the special occasion?”

  He started to hug me and stopped long enough to take his apron off. “Does there need to be a special occasion to treat my baby?”

  I smiled bigger. “No, I guess not.”

  Craig looked behind me. “Although, this doesn’t really look like a treat. Let’s order pizza instead, and I’ll have you for my appetizer.”

  ~*~

  Carl snapped his fingers in front of me. “Is everything okay in there?”

  I shook my head and blinked. “I’m sorry. Yes, I’m fine.” I looked around the kitchen. Again, it was all picture-perfect, and looked like a page ripped from a magazine complete with state-of-the-art appliances. I was a little surprised to see a picture that Amy had drawn attached to the refrigerator. He didn’t seem the type to display a child’s art. I stopped gawking at everything and turned to him. I shouldn’t have seemed so impressed. “So what are we having for dinner? It smells wonderful.”

  Carl looked at me for a little bit longer and finally reached for the oven mitts. Opening the oven, he pulled out a couple of trays. “I’m not a great cook, but didn’t want to waste my one and only opportunity to get you back to my home, so I ordered out and kept it warm for us.”

  “Well, it smells delicious either way.” I grabbed the wine and two glasses he asked me to get and followed him to the dining room. It was beautiful. The table was immaculate and looked just as if we were dining at a fine restaurant instead of his home. He had the soft lights and slow music on that we would have had, had we gone out. He had thought of everything.

  He pulled my chair out for me, and I bowed my head in thanks before sitting down. Carl served us both and poured the wine. He wouldn’t let me do anything. I wouldn’t allow him to put the napkin across my lap, though. He chuckled and raised his hands in surrender.

  “Tell me what got you into child care.” Carl was actually a very decent guy once he let the façade fall and was just himself.

  “I got a degree in early childhood development to teach young children. I hadn’t planned on working in a daycare. If it were like any normal daycare, I probably wouldn’t be there.” The food was delicious, but I couldn’t eat another bite. I pushed my plate away. “You know I don’t think you’ve ever told me what you do.”

  Carl pushed his plate aside as well and looked at me. “It’s very boring. It’s just mergers and acquisitions. You know it’s all about the bottom line for me and how I can make the most money for the company that hired me. It’s nothing very civilized or romantic.” He held my hand.

  “This isn’t supposed to be romantic. This is supposed to be me allowing you to thank me so your daughter may speak to me again.” I pulled my hand back. “That’s not very romantic.”

  He sighed and stood up. “You’re right. I kind of went all business on you.” He picked up our plates. “I guess I just didn’t know what else to do. You have my apologies, and please, continue to help my Amy.”

  I followed him to the kitchen with the empty wine bottle. “Apology accepted. Please, will you refrain from doing anything like that in the future? I like the guy I had dinner with tonight.”

  Carl looked at me and smiled. “He likes you, too.” He reached for me and pulled me close.

  I tried to back up. “Carl, I’m dating someone.”

  “Just dance with me.” He spun me to the living room where the music was louder.

  I laughed and let him dance me around his furniture. I’m not sure how long we danced. It was several songs. I was startled when there was pounding on his door. Carl looked just as confused as I did.

  “Stay here and I’ll get rid of them.”

  I walked to the stereo and turned it off. I needed to hear what was going on. “Where is she?”

  I walked to the entry room. “Mark?”

  He looked visibly relieved when I rounded the corner. “Terri’s been trying to get a hold of you.”

  “Why?” I went to my purse and looked at my phone. I had a dozen texts and missed calls, all of them asking if I was okay. The last text said Mark was coming to get me. “What the fuck, Mark? I’m a grown woman.”

  “I know. I know and I feel really bad.” He looked at Carl and back to me. “It just scared us when you didn’t answer.”

  “I’m not Sally. I’ll be home when I’m ready.”

  “You told me you wouldn’t be too late, and it’s almost three in the morning!”

  Carl stepped forward when Mark started to raise his voice. “Hey, the lady said she’ll be home when she’s ready.”

  I looked at the time on my phone. “I’m sorry, Mark. I didn’t realize the time.” I looked up at him. “But you need to let me make my own decisions.”

  Mark stepped closer and spoke softer. “And what decisions would you have made tonight? Would you have been happy about them?”

  I nodded my understanding and grabbed my purse again. “Carl, it was a wonderful evening, but Mark is right. I need to get home.”

  “I can take you home.”

  “No. Mark’s going home anyway.” I lifted myself up on my tiptoes and kissed his cheek. “Thank you for a wonderful night. I had a great time.”

  I walked out with Mark on my heels. I let him take me home, but neither one of us said anything. I was furious that they came to get me when I wasn’t doing anything wrong. I understood that when I didn’t hear my phone that it worried them, but I didn’t think they would be checking up on me. I also understood that I said I wouldn’t be too late, but time had gotten away from them before, too, and I never went calling or looking for them. I allowed them to have their good time.

  I walked in the door and Terri shot up. “You’re okay.”

  “Of course I’m okay.” I started to walk by her to go upstairs, and she turned me around. “What?”

  “Talk to me. What happened tonight?”

  “What happened? I had a wonderful dinner that was filled with wonderful conversation, and I was in the middle of a wonderful dance with a wonderful man when my two best friends didn’t trust me enough to let me be!”

  “So he’s Mister Wonderful now? I don’t trust him.”

  “Bullshit! You didn’t trust me to keep my clothes on or legs together. It’s my life!”

  “You’re right. It is your life, but I’m not going to let you fuck it up! Literally or otherwise.” Terri tried to hug me, but I pushed her away. “I promised you I wouldn’t let you do anything that would hurt you, but I’m not going to let you hurt me when I’m only trying to protect you.”

  “But I didn’t do anything wrong. What hurts is t
hat you didn’t trust me.” I started crying. “How do you think it makes me feel that my two best friends don’t have faith in me?”

  I allowed Terri to hug me this time. “I’m sorry. You’re right.” She led me to the sofa. “Please forgive me. I just overreacted when you didn’t text me back. I knew you were afraid, and I didn’t like that he took you to his house.”

  I pulled back and dried my eyes. “I’m sorry for yelling. I know you’re just trying to protect me. I didn’t do anything, though. We did just dance and talk after dinner.”

  “Nothing else happened?”

  “No. Well, I did have a flashback when I first got there. I thought about the time that Craig tried to make dinner.”

  “What did Carl say?”

  “I only thought about the dinner, and not why he made the dinner, so I don’t think it lasted that long. He didn’t say anything. He probably just thinks I’m a little spacey or something.” I shrugged and got up. “I’m tired. I’m sure you are, too.”

  “I’m never too tired to talk to you. Are you going to go out with him again?”

  I stopped at the bottom of the stairs and turned. “Before tonight, I would have said he was lucky to get me to agree this once. But now?” I shrugged. “I guess I feel like the lucky one. I’m not sure if I would turn him down again.”

  “What about Dennis? He really likes you.” Mark was silent until now.

  “And I really like him, but I’m not married to him. I am allowed to date more than one person.” I didn’t feel like talking anymore. I went up to bed.

  ~*~

  “Craig, stop just for a minute.” I pushed on his chest. “Please.”

  “What? Pizza doesn’t sound good? Do you want Chinese instead?”

  “No, I want to go to the bathroom. I just walked in.”

  Craig laughed. He didn’t laugh too often, but when he did I soaked it up. “Sure. You go get ready for me while I call in the pizza.” He grabbed the cordless telephone and dialed what I assumed was our usual place.

  When Craig said he wanted me for the appetizer, he wasn’t kidding. It wasn’t often that he treated me to his oral skills, but when he did, I never wanted him to stop. I should have known he was up to something. I was clutching his hair and writhing beneath him when the bedroom door swung open. I recognized the guy from the parties Craig would take me to. I sat up quickly and covered myself with the pillows.

  He just stood in the doorway and watched me for a moment. The backwards baseball cap covered the dirty blond hair I knew he had underneath. His eyes were always squinted with a smirk plastered across his face. When I first met him, I thought he was just high all the time. His thin body barely filled the doorway, and I looked behind him to make sure no one else was there.

  “I got the pizza.” He placed it on the dresser.

  “And I got her ready.” Craig sat up next to me on the bed.

  “Craig?” I tried to search his eyes for what he meant by getting me ready.

  “Tony’s a friend of mine. You remember Tony. Well, I told you he had a problem with women, and you said someone should help him with that.”

  I remembered the conversation . . . barely. Craig said he needed to have a guys’ night with Tony because girls kept dumping him, saying he wasn’t any good in bed. When Craig was telling me the sad story of his friend, he was deep inside me, letting me know just how good he was. I meant that he should give Tony pointers, not give me to him for practice.

  “Craig, I didn’t mean . . .”

  He leaned in and kissed my neck. “Please. You are the best, and I’m sure between the two of us, we can get him the help he needs.”

  I swallowed. “The two of us?”

  “Of course, I’ll be here, too. I’ll watch what he’s doing to let him know what he’s doing wrong.”

  “Craig, I don’t want to—”

  “Would you rather we pick up a girl and I watch them have sex? You know what a turn on it is for me to watch other people fucking.” He kissed my neck again. “Please. For me?”

  ~*~

  Someone touched my arm, and I sat straight up in bed, gasping for breath. “Whoa. Are you okay?”

  “Dennis?” I put my hand to my chest. “What are you doing in here?”

  “Well, Mark thought it would be fun for me to wake you up.”

  I thought about removing the covers because I was sweating from my nightmare, but I only had a tank top and underwear on. Mark knew that was how I slept, too. I’d kill him later. “Yes, this is a blast.” I rubbed my face. “I must look like hell.”

  Dennis sat on the bed next to me and brushed the hair away from my face. “You look beautiful . . . and hot.” He started to move the covers, and I clamped my hands on them. “Okay.”

  “I don’t wear much to bed.” I started looking for my phone. “What time is it?”

  “It’s almost ten. Why does everyone look really tired here? Did something happen last night?”

  I looked at Dennis. I didn’t want to hurt him, but I needed to be honest. “I had a date and didn’t come home when Mom and Dad thought I should have.”

  Dennis sat up straighter. “Oh. You’re dating someone?”

  “Not exactly.” I reluctantly told him the story of how I got roped into a date and the disaster it turned into when Terri and Mark thought I should have been home. He seemed to take it better than I thought he would.

  “So what was your bad dream about?”

  I started shaking my head. “We’re not that close yet. I’m sorry, but I just can’t go there with you right now. Maybe someday, but not right now.”

  “That’s fair, but are you still dating this Craig guy?”

  I must have said his name in my sleep. “No. Craig and I are no longer seeing each other.”

  “Okay. I just wanted to know who all my competition was.” He leaned forward and kissed my nose. The gesture made me smile. I really did like him . . . a lot.

  There was a soft knock on my door before it opened. Terri peeked through a tiny gap before fully opening it. “Breakfast is almost ready if you two are interested.”

  Dennis looked back at me. “Oh, I’m interested. Very interested.” He kissed my cheek and hugged Terri to pick her up and move her out of the doorway before running down for breakfast.

  “Well, someone’s happy.” She turned to me and smiled. “See, I’m cock-blocking the nice one, too.” I threw my pillow at her.

  I threw on some sweats and headed downstairs. Pulling my hair into a ponytail, I spotted Mark in the kitchen at the stove and Dennis playing with Trevor at the table. Terri was giving Sally her breakfast. I moved to the kitchen with Mark.

  I leaned my backside against the counter and nudged Mark with my hip. “So what’s the big idea sending him up to my room like that?” I reached over and grabbed a slice of bacon—very hot bacon. I bounced it from hand to hand. “Hot, hot, hot.” I started blowing on it.

  Mark smiled. “I just took that one out.”

  “A little warning next time.” I nudged him again. “Don’t avoid my question. You know what I wear to bed. That could have been a very embarrassing situation.”

  “I didn’t think there was any harm in giving him a show. Besides, you like him, and it will lead to that sooner or later anyway.” He avoided my eye contact. “So I want to speed it up a little.”

  “Well, I don’t. You’re right. I do like him, and it’s just that reason that I want to take things slow with him. Please, Mark.”

  “Hey, you two. What’s the hold up on the divine swine?” Terri walked in and took the half piece of bacon from me for herself.

  “I wasn’t finished with that.”

  Terri reached between us and grabbed the plate of bacon. She called over her shoulder as she left the room. “I guess you two will just have to come to breakfast to get some.”

  After breakfast, Dennis took me to the stairs. “May I ask you a question?”

  “I don’t know how Trevor manages to spray milk out his nose ever
y time you are over. It just happens.” I sat down next to Dennis with our hips touching. He felt warm.

  He chuckled. “No, I know that answer. What I don’t know is how I manage to keep it in and not spray some myself.” Dennis got serious. “Who is Sally?”

  I narrowed my eyes at him. “She’s the little girl in the highchair.”

  “No.” Dennis gave me a look that said he wasn’t that stupid. “I feel as if there are two Sallys. Who’s the other one?”

  “Oh. I guess I thought Mark told you about her.” I shifted away from Dennis a little. This wasn’t going to be a pleasant topic. “The other Sally was Mark’s sister. This Sally was named after her.”

  “What happened to her?”

  “Well, obviously she died. Um, she killed herself after getting involved with a very, um, twisted man. She couldn’t handle it and took her own life.”

  “Oh. I didn’t know. I’m glad I didn’t ask Mark.” Dennis thought for a moment. “Why did she kill herself? Why didn’t she just reach out to Mark? I think he would have helped her.”

  “Then she would have had to tell him what she’d done.” I whispered my response, which made Dennis look at me. Still whispering, I continued. “It’s not easy to admit what a fool you’ve been and what foolish things he could make you do.”

  Dennis pulled me into his arms. “He’s why you see Joseph. You were caught up with the same man that Sally was. Promise me you won’t harm yourself. Reach out to me.”

  I wrapped my arms around him and cried on his shoulder, burying my face in his neck. I felt his arm leave me once as if he were shooing someone away, and then he wrapped it tightly around me again. I’m not sure how long I sat on the stairs, crying on this wonderful man’s shoulder, but it was a long, satisfying release, one I never had with Craig or any other man.

  Chapter 6

  “Was that the only time you were with Tony?” I decided to tell Joseph about the flashback on my date and the nightmare afterwards.

  “No. There were a few other times. Practice makes perfect, you know.” I looked out the window.