Striving for Normal (Striving Series)

by Mooney, B. L.

  “Your sister?” I was grateful that he wasn’t dating the woman standing before me, but also scared that I was meeting his family. Oh yeah and embarrassed that she’d witnessed such a passion-filled kiss. I cleared my throat and extended my hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Rachael.”

  She looked at my hand, and it made me nervous. Rachael came forward, but hugged me instead of shaking my hand. It was a little awkward, but I hugged her back. I was soon hugging a lot of family. His entire family was there. I met his parents, two sisters, and his brother. The party, it seemed, was at Dennis’s house. If I survived the ambush, I was going to kill him.

  His parents were really nice and down to earth. I was a little surprised to see that they were a little older than I had anticipated. It was apparent that they’d decided to have children later in life. His father, also Dennis, was tall and thin. You could see the resemblance all the men shared, but it was obvious that only the younger generation had visited the gym.

  His mother, Gloria, was very well put together. She definitely knew that she was meeting someone that night. She was just as beautiful as Rachael, even though she had more grey than gold in her hair.

  The other sister, Deb, was a little harder to read. I never would have guessed that she belonged to this family. Deb was shorter than everyone and had jet black hair. If she had any curves, she didn’t flaunt them as Rachael did. She was way more reserved in appearance and posture, even more so than their mother. Her slacks and tucked-in blouse suggested she had just come from work, but Dennis said she worked on her husband’s business out of their home, and that she preferred slacks to jeans. She was the only one who was married, and her husband was away on business, so I didn’t get to meet him.

  His brother, Rick, was just the gentleman that Dennis was, only a little bit more mischievous. You could tell these two men were related. It was uncanny, really. They had the same green eyes and wore the same smirk whenever they teased Rachael about something. Rick’s hair was a little longer and his build wasn’t as solid, but his eyes and smirk were just like Dennis’s.

  During dinner, there was an inquisition on what made Drew, Drew. I didn’t mind most of the questions. “Dennis tells us you work in a daycare.” His mother’s questions were always polite and appropriate.

  “Mom, I told you that it’s more than just a daycare.” Dennis seemed embarrassed.

  I put my hand over his forearm—a move his mother noticed. “It’s okay.” I removed my hand and turned to his mother. “Gloria, it is a daycare, but we do more than babysit there. We make sure the children are learning as they play. Some children already know how to read when they leave us to go to school.”

  Gloria sat up a little straighter in an almost defensive move. “But what will they do when they get to school?”

  “Excel. We don’t try to teach every child how to read. That’s only reserved for the ones who are ready. We know you can’t push a child, but if a child shows us he wants more, then we’ll give it to him. We won’t make him wait for everyone else to catch up.” I surprised myself at how calmly I answered. I’d felt my own back stiffen when I saw hers stiffen. I smiled on the inside when she relaxed and accepted my answer.

  “It sounds as if you love children. Why don’t you have any of your own yet?” Deb’s questions were borderline inappropriate and mostly downright rude.

  “Deb! Stop it now.” Dennis was angry.

  I put my arm behind Dennis and started rubbing his back as he leaned forward to yell at his sister. I didn’t want them to fight, and I needed him to calm down. “I just hadn’t met the right guy yet.”

  “Have you ever had a serious relationship?”

  “Debra.” Their father didn’t say much, but he stepped in to give his warning.

  “I just think we should know her track record. I don’t want my brother falling for someone who doesn’t stick around.”

  “Well, I have had what I thought were serious relationships.” I started to answer her question as carefully as possible.

  “You don’t have to answer her.” Dennis held my hand.

  “I know I don’t have to, but I want to.” I turned back to Deb. “In junior high,” Rachael started laughing, “every relationship was serious to me. I just knew we were madly in love. Then in high school—”

  “You don’t have to—” Deb tried to cut me off.

  “No, you want my track record, so please allow me to give it.” I cleared my throat. “The first three years in high school were worse than junior high. It wasn’t until my senior year that I realized I didn’t want to be tied down so soon. There was an entire world ahead of me, and I wanted to see things before I settled down.

  “I dated different people in my first year of college, trying to find the type of guy I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I wanted to make sure that it lasted forever. My parents divorced, and that wasn’t fun for any of us. I don’t want to go through that again.”

  Dennis sensed what I was going to say next. He leaned in and whispered. “That’s enough.”

  I smiled and leaned in to kiss him. “I’m okay.” I sat back up and saw his mother smile. It gave me the courage to continue. “I did live with someone for almost two years.” I looked at Dennis. I hadn’t told him that part yet. I continued directly to Dennis. “I lost myself in that relationship and became someone I didn’t recognize. I’m terrified that I’ll lose myself again. While I know you are nothing like Craig, I want to make sure I’m nothing like the girl he controlled. I need to be stronger.”

  Dennis reached up and brushed away the tear that ran down my face. “You are the strongest woman I know.” I closed my eyes as he kissed me softly.

  “Can we get to the dessert so you two can make out as you’ve wanted to all night?” Rick broke the tension and everyone except for their mother laughed. I couldn’t quite place the look in her eyes. It wasn’t a negative one or one that I wanted to shy away from, but I still didn’t know what it meant exactly.

  There was another round of hugs from everyone—except for Deb this time—when everyone left. Dennis kissed his mother’s cheek and watched as they walked to their car. He shut the door and slowly turned to me. “So how much trouble am I in?”

  “You have no idea.” I started laughing. “Although the pictures helped a lot.” Dennis’s mother had brought his photo album to help break the ice and get me comfortable. I loved looking at the photos of a young Dennis. His childhood looked so happy.

  I started to head to the kitchen, but he wrapped his arms around my waist. “Where do you think you’re going?”

  I hugged his arms. “To help clean up.”

  Dennis turned me around and raised his eyebrow. “You want to clean up? They’re gone, and we can finally make out as we’ve wanted to all night.”

  I laughed as he reminded me what was so obvious to everyone else. “I’m so embarrassed about that. No wonder Deb was asking me those questions. She probably thinks I’m a hussy.”

  “I don’t think that.” Dennis and I turned to see Deb standing in the doorway. “You really should lock your door, little brother.”

  “Deb, I thought you all left.” Dennis stood beside me with his arm still wrapped around my waist.

  “They did. I need a minute alone—”

  “No.” Dennis tightened his grip.

  “It’s okay. Go start the clean up, and I’ll be there in a minute.” My eyes pleaded with Dennis.

  “You yell if you need me.” He turned to Deb and pointed at her. “You be nice.”

  She held her hands up in mock surrender. We both watched him walk away and turned to each other once he was gone. “Do you want to take this to the living room?”

  Deb walked past me. “We might as well get comfortable for this uncomfortable conversation.”

  We sat across the room from each other in the chairs that faced one another. There was a long coffee table between us and a lot of tension. The silent moment we shared allowed me to look at her closer. She looked
tired. Her hair was thrown up in a ponytail, and her makeup was almost nonexistent. You could tell she didn’t put too much effort into her appearance. I didn’t know if that was because she was coming over here or if that was how she normally looked.

  Deb just looked at me for a while, and I desperately wanted to shift in my seat, but I didn’t want her to see that I was bothered by her. She knew I was already; I didn’t need to prove it. I couldn’t help but shift when she started talking. “I was on an internship with a local news crew. I helped cover the story of Craig Sullivan and Drew Clayborn. I knew who you were the second my baby brother gushed about you. I am sorry for the crack about having children. I felt bad asking, but I needed to know what kind of woman you are.”

  She paused, but I continued to sit quietly waiting for the rest of what she felt she needed to get off her chest.

  “I have to say I was a little concerned when you didn’t mention the pregnancy at all. You seemed so open about everything else that I thought for sure you would have said you lost a child.”

  “I didn’t feel it was appropriate dinner conversation, and I really didn’t want to explain what happened to my child. It would have opened up a lot of questions about the father that I—” I looked at Deb. “That’s what you wanted.”

  “It’s been four years, Drew. He’s going to get out soon. What are you going to do when he comes back for you?”

  I was confused. “Who?”

  “Craig. Are you playing house with my brother until the love of your life comes back for you?”

  “I never loved Craig. I won’t be going back to him.”

  “I did like the little speech at the end of your track record rant. You almost had me convinced you love my brother as much as he loves you, but you’re holding back. I can tell. I just don’t know why.”

  “Well, when you’ve been through the same hell that I have been through, you can judge me.” I stood up and pointed to the door. “Until then, get the fuck out, and keep your opinions to yourself.”

  Deb rose as Dennis came in. He took one look at my face and stormed towards Deb. “What did you do?”

  “I was just leaving.” She surprised Dennis by hugging him hard. “She’s going to hurt you.”

  “I’m a big boy, Deb. I’ll take my chances.”

  Deb pulled back a little and held his face. “You are a big boy, but you’re still my baby brother.” She kissed his cheek and let herself out. Not once did she look back in my direction.

  I started to sit down, and he pulled me to the sofa with him. “What happened in here?”

  I leaned back against his chest and hugged his arms. “She knows about Craig.” He hugged me tighter.

  Chapter 11

  It took me no time at all to find the cutest little apartment just a few blocks from Terri and Mark’s house. The floor plan was as open as theirs and was instantly my favorite thing about the apartment. I don’t think it was supposed to have a dining area, but since it was just me, and I didn’t have much furniture, it was easy to set aside space for the table.

  Terri and Mark helped me move, and I knew Mark was thankful that we were finally finished. He was tired of moving the furniture I did have until Terri and I were satisfied. We settled on the sofa being right in front of the door facing the fireplace. I wasn’t sure I wanted to come home to the back of my sofa every day, but it really was the best arrangement.

  My bedroom was just to the right of the front door. There was a small hallway leading to the bathroom between my bedroom and the kitchen. The kitchen was a little outdated with the cutout and folding shutters available for privacy, but I loved the rest of the space so much that I didn’t care.

  “You guys are coming over Thursday for dinner, right?” I knew Terri was upset with me for moving out so quickly, but for the sake of our friendship, I was sure that it was necessary. I could tell as she helped me move that it was harder on her than I thought it would be.

  “Wouldn’t miss it.” Terri didn’t look at me. She hadn’t looked at me much since I told her I found an apartment.

  “I’m going to run down and get the last box.” Mark could sense we needed to clear the air.

  “Terri.” I waited until she reluctantly turned around to face me. Her arms were crossed, but she uncrossed them the second I put my arms around her. I hugged her tightly. “You are still my best friend, my family. Having a different address now doesn’t change that. Thank you for everything, but it’s time to have a place of my own.”

  “I know.” I could hear the emotion in Terri’s voice. “I just think it’s too fast. You meet someone I don’t approve of, and you’re out just like that.”

  I pulled back and looked at her. “Carl hasn’t tried anything for weeks. You know that. We’re just friends.” I started unpacking the kitchen boxes. “Am I not supposed to have friends?”

  “You know friendship is not what he wants. He’s just trying to manipulate you in a different way.” Terri had repeatedly told me her theory that this was another tactic to get me to lower my guard and give him an opportunity to sneak back in. Only this time she thought he’d be too far in for me to stop him and it would turn out just like Craig.

  “Can we please not fight about this again?”

  “What about Dennis? You haven’t talked about him for a while.” Terri started handing me things so I wouldn’t have to go back and forth so much.

  “Dennis is coming over later tonight. What do you mean I don’t talk about him?”

  “All I hear is Carl this and Carl that.”

  “That’s because you don’t listen to the rest of what she says.” Mark came in and kissed Terri’s cheek.

  “You’re not helping, just as you didn’t help me talk her out of moving.” Terri crossed her arms and actually pouted.

  “Oh, come on.” I lightly shoved Terri. “You know you two could have gone at it in the kitchen in that frosting fight if I’d had my own place.”

  Terri failed at hiding her smile. “That’s not the point.”

  Mark pulled on Terri’s hand. “Let’s go home and make it the point. We don’t need to pick up the kids from your mom’s for another ninety minutes.”

  We said our goodbyes, and I hoped Mark could do what he had intended, but I think Terri was too emotional to be into it for him. I looked around the apartment that was all mine and got emotional myself. I hadn’t lived alone for six years. The quiet I thought I would welcome was deafening.

  I was looking for the radio to have some background noise while I unpacked when I heard the buzzer to the door downstairs. It took me a second to realize what it was. I laughed at myself and went to answer it. “Hello?”

  “Hey, beautiful.” Dennis sounded as if he were smiling. I like that sound.

  “It’s unlocked. Come on in when you get up here.” I buzzed him in and gave up the search for the radio to run to the bathroom to make sure I looked decent. I looked as if I just spent the day moving. I took out the ponytail and ran my fingers through my hair a couple of times. That made it worse, so I put it back in the ponytail.

  I walked back into the living room just as he was shutting the door. “Looking good.”

  “I haven’t unpacked anything. It’ll look better once it’s all put together. Oh.” I blushed and smiled when I realized he wasn’t talking about the apartment. “Thanks. I wish you would have let me take a shower first.”

  Dennis wrapped his arm around my waist and started walking me backwards down the hallway. “Don’t let me stop you.”

  We stopped in front of the bathroom door. “Dennis. I’m not sure this is what I want for our first time. I’m a mess.”

  “I didn’t mean I had to join you. Maybe I was hoping, but you can take a shower if you want, and I’ll wait out there.”

  “I’ll hurry.” Dennis nodded before he kissed me. I groaned. “Our first time should be more romantic.” Dennis nodded again as he kissed me with a little more passion. “Then again . . .” I pulled him in the bathroom with me.
r />   We kissed until the back of my calves hit the bathtub. I grabbed his shirt by the shoulders so I didn’t fall back. The look Dennis gave me stole my breath away. He continued to look me in the eye as he reached down and turned the water on. The sound of the shower was second to the sound of my heartbeat. I was almost positive Dennis heard it, too.

  He slowly straightened up and finally looked me over. “Don’t rush this. Let me take my time.” I couldn’t get over how deep his voice sounded, but I managed to nod.

  I grabbed his hand as he reached for my ponytail. “My hair is a mess.”

  Dennis smiled and continued on with his task. He tossed the band on the counter and ran his fingers through my hair. “You’re beautiful.” He kissed my neck, and I tried to undress. I really wanted that shower. Dennis took my hands and placed them behind my back as he whispered, “Don’t rush.”

  “But I’m so sweaty from moving.”

  “Moving. Sex.” Dennis chuckled. “Does it matter how you got sweaty first?”

  I tugged my hands out of his grip, and Dennis let go. I had to touch him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and held him to the spot he was kissing. “But moving sweat is dirty.”

  Dennis stood up and looked at me with a crooked grin. “Not as dirty as what we are about to do.” He continued to look in my eyes as he lifted my shirt over my head and dropped it on the floor.

  My hands immediately covered my belly. “Dennis, I—”

  He pulled my hands away. “Shh.” Without looking, he traced my scars. “You are so beautiful.” He reached up and wiped the tear that had fallen. “Will you let me show you how beautiful you are?”

  Without waiting for my answer, he started working his way down my body, kissing the exposed skin and making me shiver. Dennis didn’t stay too long on any one spot until he reached my belly. I wanted to push him away when I realized where he was headed, but the closer he got to the scars, the more at ease I felt. I allowed him to kiss the scars and allowed myself to feel beautiful for the first time since Craig.