Striving for Normal (Striving Series)

by Mooney, B. L.

  Dennis made his way back up just as slowly as he did on the way down, and he was starting to drive me crazy. “Dennis.”

  “Soon, be patient. I . . .” Dennis watched as I slowly reached behind me and unfastened my bra.

  I tried not to smile as I dropped it to the floor. I knew I had him and would get what I’d been desperately wanting. “You were saying—” He kissed me hard and fast, pressing his body to mine. Trying not to break the kiss, I put my hands between us and started unbuttoning his shirt. I needed to feel his skin next to mine.

  “Drew.” He couldn’t stop kissing me long enough to speak a complete sentence. “I promise . . .” He unfastened my jeans. “To go slow . . .” He stopped kissing just long enough to help me out of the rest of my clothes. “I promise to go slow next time.” When he finished, he just stood and stared at me. “I may not be able to keep that promise.”

  He started to come at me again, but I held my hand up. He stopped and gave me a puzzled look. All I had to do was point to the clothes on his body, and they started flying. I wanted to watch him undress, but I needed to jump in the shower for a quick mini shower before he joined me. I really needed to get as much sweat as I could off me to be able to relax.

  I had lathered up almost everything and was moving my hands to my chest. “Allow me.” I felt Dennis come up behind me, and he immediately cupped my breasts.

  I leaned backwards into his chest and closed my eyes as he took over. I fit perfectly in his hands, hands he knew just how to use. It was as if he had been holding me for years. Even though he was concentrating on just one area, my entire body felt every squeeze, tug, or pinch he gave me.

  “Dennis.” It was getting to be too much, but I needed more. “Dennis, please.”

  “Please?” He whispered in my ear as he pinched both nipples. “Tell me what you want, Drew.”

  There was no time for words. I spun around and jumped into his arms, wrapping my legs around him. We were both slick with soap, and he pressed me against the wall to keep us from falling. He started kissing my neck, but gave my body no other attention it craved. I begged again. “Please, Dennis, please.”

  Dennis looked in my eyes. “What do you want, Drew? I need you to tell me.”

  “You, please, I need you.” I squirmed, trying to get where I needed to be.

  He placed his forehead against mine and whispered, “I need to be part of you, Drew. Tell me what you need.”

  I felt him press against my entrance. I started to move down, but he held my hips still. I groaned. “I need you to fuck me.”

  Then it started—the sweet assault. Dennis still had a hold on my hips, but was helping me move faster instead of keeping me away. As he pulled me down harder on him, I grasped at his shoulders and dug my fingers in, trying to hang on to the ride he was giving me. I tilted my head back as he built the fire within me. Running my fingers down his arms as I tilted further back, I could feel him shaking. He was holding back.

  I pulled myself back up and started kissing the spot on his neck that I knew he loved. That spot almost got him into bed more than once. The second my tongue made contact, he let out a throaty groan that made me want him more.

  Before I knew it, he had removed my legs from his waist and stood me in front of him. I wasn’t sure why he was stopping, but I wanted to keep going. “Dennis?”

  Dennis didn’t say anything. He just looked me up and down with eyes that set me on fire. Gripping my shoulders, he turned me around and pressed my back against his chest. Running his right hand slowly down my arm, he brought my hand up to my chest. He repeated the move with my left arm. Extending both of my arms out, he slowly bent me over, placing both hands against the shower tile. Dennis slowly ran the tips of his fingers over my extended body, causing everything he touched to tingle and those areas he didn’t touch to crave it.

  He stood up, no longer touching any part of me for the longest time. I knew he had a plan. I knew he wasn’t finished. I just didn’t think I could wait much longer. I was about to beg when he gripped my hips and entered me in one thrust, holding me to him. My hands immediately became fists, trying and failing to grab something as he drove into me again and again.

  I couldn’t hold out much longer. I didn’t want him to stop, and yet, I needed that crest. I needed the fireworks I knew he was igniting in me. My legs started to shake, and I felt him grip my hips tighter. I knew that I was going to be sore the next day but that I would welcome the reminder of what he was giving me—of what I had no idea he was capable of.

  Dennis reached around and rubbed me a few times. It didn’t take much to send me over the edge. He put one arm under my upper body to catch me when I started to bend over more and the other arm around my waist to hold me up. It only took him a few more thrusts to find his own release. As I lay on his arm, listening to his groans, I smiled. That was a sound I wanted to hear over and over again.

  ~*~

  I was in Dennis’s arms on the sofa, wondering when I was going to have the strength to unpack. After the shower, we pretty much christened the entire apartment—except for the bed. He said that was where we could have our “first time” that I thought we should’ve had. I didn’t regret the first, second, or third time we had that evening.

  The door buzzed and Dennis got up. “It’s about time for the pizza. I thought I was going to have to find something else to eat.”

  I couldn’t help the smile I got every time he said something like that. The thing I’d learned about Dennis was that he got crude when he was aroused. Everything still sounded perfectly acceptable for others to hear, but I knew what he was really saying. It was funny the first time Terri picked up on it. I’d have to tell her it got worse the more turned on he got.

  “What the fuck are you doing here?” Dennis didn’t sound aroused anymore.

  I jumped up and pulled my robe closed. I couldn’t see who it was until I walked around Dennis. “Carl? What are you doing here?”

  Carl looked back and forth between us and finally settled on me. “You told me you were moving in this weekend, and I didn’t want your first night to be lonely.”

  “I’m not alone, Carl. You should have called first.” I felt Dennis look at me.

  “Right, I’m sorry.” Carl started to turn and then stopped. He held out the pizza to Dennis. “I paid for it downstairs. I told the guy I was coming up anyway.”

  Dennis finally took the pizza, but still didn’t say anything. I touched his shoulder. “Dennis, could you get us drinks from the kitchen, please?”

  I didn’t think Dennis liked leaving me alone with Carl, but he really had no choice. I waited until I heard Dennis in the kitchen before I addressed Carl. “You really shouldn’t have come. It was sweet to think I’d be lonely, but you can’t just stop by.”

  “I see that now. You stopped telling me you were dating someone. I didn’t think you were still dating him.”

  “You stopped doing things that made me tell you that I was dating someone. I don’t need to point it out to friends that I’m seeing someone else. Did you really want to hear about our dates?”

  “No, I guess not.” Carl put his hands in his pockets. “Well, I should be going and let you get back to,” he pointed at my robe, “whatever I interrupted. Next time I’ll call.” He kissed my cheek and left.

  I couldn’t get the disappointed look on Carl’s face out of my mind. I locked the door and turned to a very pissed Dennis. “He’s gone, and we shouldn’t be interrupted again.” I walked towards him, but he crossed his arms. “What? I didn’t invite him in or anything.”

  “Would you have if you’d been alone?”

  “Probably, but I’m not. I’m with you.”

  “Are you? Are you really with me or are you with both of us?”

  “Dennis, where is this coming from?” I tried to touch him, but he backed up. “Carl and I are just friends.”

  “How do you describe me?”

  We both knew what I was going to say—a friend. Dennis prov
ed his point, but he didn’t need to make a point. I’d sent Carl away and stayed with him. That should have proven enough. I watched as Dennis paced the living room.

  “What are you thinking?” I wasn’t sure if he was going to leave or not, and I didn’t want him to go.

  “I thought that after tonight I would have been considered your boyfriend. I thought that allowing me to make love to you meant more than I guess it does.”

  “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” He was starting to piss me off.

  “How many friends do you have?”

  “You’re out of line.” I walked over to the door and opened it. “If you’re going to be an asshole, you can leave.”

  “Tell me that I’m wrong and that you haven’t slept with Carl.”

  “Get out.”

  Dennis’s shoulders dropped when I didn’t deny it. He grabbed his coat and slowly walked over to me. “How many others are there?”

  I slapped him. “I had sex with Carl once.” I held up my finger. “Just once, you prick.” I started to cry and backed up when he tried to touch me. “Technically, I’ve slept with you more times than him. Does it make you feel better to know I’ve done more things with you than I did with him?”

  Dennis must have realized what he was doing—what he was calling me. He dropped his coat and forced me into his arms. I tried to hit him and tried to get out of his embrace. “I’m sorry.”

  I pushed him hard and he finally let go. “I went to his office and he called me crazy. We fought and one thing led to another, and he—”

  “I don’t want to hear it.”

  “Too fucking bad! He fucked me right there on his desk, and it was great.”

  “Stop!” Dennis yelled. I’d never heard him yell before.

  I lowered my voice. “You know I may have felt like a whore after my one time with him, but it hurts more for you to actually call me one. Pick up your coat, take your fucking pizza, and get out of my life.” I slammed my bedroom door. For the first time that night I was grateful we hadn’t made it to the bed yet. It was the one place I wouldn’t have his memory in my new apartment.

  ~*~

  “And you haven’t heard from him since?” Joseph seemed a little disappointed.

  “No.”

  “Have you tried to contact him?” He sighed when I looked out the window. “I think you want to work this out with him. Why not contact him?”

  “What if he doesn’t want to talk?”

  “Then you’ll know and move forward. You’ve been doing a great job of moving forward the past couple of months. I don’t want to see you stall out again.”

  I nodded. “I’ll think about it.”

  “How are things with Carl?”

  “We’re having dinner in a few days.” I looked at Joseph to see his reaction. Of course he didn’t give one. I mentally rolled my eyes. “We’re just friends.”

  “Yes, you keep saying that.” Joseph smiled. “Who are you trying to convince?”

  “Terri for sure. She’s still not sold on him being part of my life.” I started to get a little agitated. “What’s it to her anyway? She knows Dennis and I aren’t seeing each other anymore. Why can’t I have dinner with Carl?”

  “Have you thought about all of you having dinner together?”

  “I tried, but Terri doesn’t want to. I’ve told her that the kids love Amy at the center. Sally, Trevor, and Amy would play together well, and she and Mark could grill Carl if she wants, but she refuses. Mark is actually helping me try to convince her.”

  “Is Terri’s approval important to you?”

  “Of course, she’s my best friend. I want her to like the guy I’m seeing.”

  “Now you’re dating Carl?”

  “Well, I . . .”

  “So you’re friends now, but if Terri gives her approval, you’ll start a relationship with Carl? Do you think that maybe that’s why she’s holding out?”

  I hadn’t thought about it that way. I understood Terri’s hesitation and I appreciated her protectiveness, but I was a grownup and needed to make my own decisions. I needed to make my own way in life and couldn’t continue to depend on her. She had her own family to raise and worry about. It was time she let go of the responsibility she felt for me.

  ~*~

  “What is he doing here?” Terri was furious that Carl and Amy were here when she arrived to have dinner at my place.

  “Look, Terri, I need you to see that Carl’s not a bad guy. You wouldn’t let me bring him to your house, so I invited him here.” We were in my bedroom while I was finishing getting ready. I had hoped Terri would show up first so I could talk to her, but Carl showed up early to help me in the kitchen.

  “I don’t like being tricked. What if I had brought Dennis?”

  I put my earring down and looked at her. “Was that a possibility?”

  “It’s always a possibility.”

  I looked back in the mirror to put my earring in. “That was low, Terri.” I turned to her. “I can’t believe you said that.”

  “I know he’s miserable without you just as you’re miserable without him. Why don’t you just call him?”

  “He needs to call me. I did nothing wrong.” I walked to the bedroom door. “Please behave at least for the children’s sake.”

  Terri nodded and followed me out. She didn’t talk much, but Mark took up the slack on their side of the conversation. I knew Mark would rather have been there with Dennis that night, but at least he was trying. I’d been trying so hard to not think about Dennis, but when Terri brought up the possibility that she could have brought him with her, he was all I could think about.

  “Drew?” Carl put his hand on my shoulder.

  “I’m sorry. I spaced out there for a second. I was just lost in thought.” I looked at Terri. I didn’t want her to think I was having another flashback. I looked back at Carl. “What did you say?”

  “Amy asked for more milk.” Carl pointed at her glass.

  “Oh, of course.” I got up and took her glass to the kitchen.

  Terri followed me with Trevor’s glass. “He can’t get his own daughter milk?”

  “It’s my apartment, Terri. They are my guests.”

  She shrugged. “I suppose. So what were you thinking of back there?”

  “It was nothing.” I waved my hand. “I don’t even remember.”

  “You should call him.” Terri always knew what I was thinking. She took both glasses back to the table while I put the milk away.

  I walked back in and started to pour myself another glass of wine. Carl put his hand on the bottle and lowered it. I just looked at him. “Too much gives you a headache.”

  I nodded. “Yes, you’re right.” I put the bottle down and glared at Terri as she cleared her throat.

  “You’ve been doing a wonderful job at the center, Drew.” Terri knew flattering me wasn’t going to get her out of the doghouse. I narrowed my eyes trying to figure out what she was doing. “I think the center is lucky to have her. Don’t you agree, Carl?”

  “They are lucky to have her while they can.”

  My eyes snapped to Carl’s. “What do you mean by that?”

  “When you decide to have a family, you’ll need to be with your children. I told you that you deserve babies of your own.” Carl took a drink.

  I crossed my arms. “You see, Carl, the perfect thing about running a daycare is that I can work and still be with my children.”

  “But that’s not the quality time a child needs with its mother. Other people will be taking care of that child. It will be confused and unable to bond properly with you.”

  I shook my head. I understood perfectly what Terri was trying to do, but no one said I was going to have children with Carl. It was just dinner for crying out loud. I stood up and grabbed the dinner plates. “Terri, a little help with dessert, please?”

  I heard Mark whisper something to her as she picked up his plate, but couldn’t understand what he said. I waited until Terri ca
me into the kitchen. “Stop it, Terri. This is just a dinner among friends.”

  She put the dishes in the sink. “He’s not my friend, and since when does drinking more than one glass of wine give you a headache?”

  “Terri, please, I’m begging you to be nice. Stop inventing problems where none exist.”

  “He wants you barefoot and pregnant. Since when is that not a problem?”

  I shook my head and grabbed the pie we were having for dessert. Terri followed with plates and silverware. I kept looking at Terri throughout dessert. She never caused any more problems, but she still didn’t warm up to Carl as I had hoped.

  Carl stayed to help me clean up the dishes, which Terri was not too happy about. I think she was trying to outwait Carl, but Mark made her go home. The kids really needed to get to bed. Poor Amy was asleep on my sofa while Carl and I tidied up.

  “There.” I brushed my palms together. “That about does it.” I turned to Carl. “Thanks for the help—” Before I knew what was happening, he pulled me close and kissed me. “Carl, stop.”

  He looked at me puzzled. “I thought . . .”

  “You thought wrong. We’re just friends.” I walked to the living room where Amy was sleeping. “It’s time for you to take Amy home.”

  Carl grabbed my elbow and pulled me to the bedroom. I could tell he wanted to slam the door, but caught himself so he didn’t wake up Amy. “What is going on with you? You invite me and my daughter to meet your friends, and you’re telling me that it means nothing?”

  “Tonight was just a dinner among friends, not a date.” I crossed my arms.

  He started scratching his head. “I don’t know whether I’m coming or going with you.”

  “Right now you’re going.”

  Carl pulled me close again. “I’d rather be coming.” He started kissing my neck.

  I shoved him. It was cute when Dennis said crude things, but it just disgusted me when Carl said them. “No, Carl.”

  “Daddy!”

  Carl opened the bedroom door. “I’m here, baby.” He turned to me. “This isn’t over yet.”