I could tell the last thing Isaac wanted was to touch me, but I wasn’t about to lose this opportunity. “But first, I think I have to say something to Newt because Newt is your brother and by being mean to you, I was being mean to Newt. Because brothers are that close, aren’t they, Newt?” I asked, though I glanced at Dallas while I said the last part.
“Yep,” Newt said, as if what I’d said was exactly what he’d been thinking. He made Isaac put him down and then waited expectantly. I reached into my pocket and pulled out the toy car he’d given me two nights earlier at the town council meeting. I knelt down, not caring about the snow, then carefully pressed the car into his hand.
“Thank you for letting me borrow Lightning. He made me feel much better,” I said before wrapping my arms around the little boy’s body.
“I’m so sorry I hurt Isaac’s feelings, Newt,” I said loud enough so everyone could hear. “And yours too,” I added. I gave him a gentle squeeze, then kept my voice low so only he would hear. “And I promise, I’ll never make him cry again.”
Newt squeezed me hard. When I released him and leaned back, he followed me and put his hand to his mouth as he whispered something into my ear that nearly broke my heart. I managed to nod. “I won’t, buddy. I promise,” I said as I hugged him again. Newt stepped back and leaned against Nolan’s leg. I rose, keeping my eyes on Isaac.
I could tell he wanted to be anywhere else but there at that moment. Part of me wanted to let him off the hook, but it was the voice that was still ringing in my ears–Newt’s voice–that had me closing the distance between us and drawing the slim young man into my arms.
Please don’t let him hurt Isaac and me anymore.
Chapter Eight
Isaac
Who knew a damn teaching moment was about to come back and bite me in the ass? I’d made the rule about me and Newt needing to hug it out after every fight one time after we’d gone to bed upset with each other and he’d shown up beside my bed in tears, terrified I was going to leave him behind because I hated him.
I was still reeling from the fact that I’d been crying in my sleep and had apparently said Maddox’s name. I’d spent the last twenty-four hours convincing myself the man meant nothing to me and that I was completely over the events that had unfolded in the motel. But clearly, my subconscious wasn’t ready to throw in the towel.
I watched as Newt whispered something to Maddox and shivered at Maddox’s response. I assumed it was him promising not to hurt me again.
I wanted to tell him that wouldn’t be a problem because I was staying the hell out of his way, no matter what it took. That should be easy enough to do, since Newt and I wouldn’t be staying more than a week or so–just enough to make a few extra bucks to make it easier to get to the next big city. We’d hunker down in Minneapolis or Chicago for the rest of the winter and then get to New York by springtime.
Dallas had “miraculously” fixed my car this morning after I’d finally agreed that Newt and I would stay on for a little while. Right after I’d made the announcement, Nolan had informed me that Maddox had agreed to help out around the sanctuary, so Dallas could continue to recover from his surgery. It hadn’t exactly been the best news, but I figured it would be easy enough to stay out of the man’s way. He’d probably be just as eager to stay out of mine.
Well, that’d been my thinking up until two seconds ago.
I held my breath as Maddox stepped forward until our bodies were practically touching.
Go for the straight-guy-pat-me-on-the-back-during-a-half-hug thing.
I repeated the mantra a few times, but to my shock, Maddox’s arms slowly wrapped around me. I automatically put my hands up at his waist to steady myself and felt the coolness of his leather belt beneath my palms.
Why the hell wasn’t his coat buttoned? I needed as many layers between our bodies as possible, damn it.
I waited for the hug to end as I stood there stiffly, but Maddox didn’t seem to be in any kind of hurry and my traitorous body began to react to the contact. His mouth ghosted over the skin just in front of my ear so gently that it almost felt like he’d kissed me there. It was the side of my head that the others wouldn’t have been able to see.
His lips hovered there as he whispered, “I’m so sorry, Isaac. So fucking sorry.”
I was glad he kept his voice low because Newt definitely would have picked up on the swear word.
But the way Maddox had said it sounded so pained, it was like it wasn’t even a swear word. It was like it was the only word that he could have used to make me understand he meant what he’d said. His big body felt so warm and strong against mine, that I found myself sinking into the embrace, despite my intentions. And then my hands, God, my hands slid all the way along his sides to his back and then drifted up his spine–beneath his damn jacket. His muscles were hot and firm beneath my touch.
I needed to stop.
We’d already hugged for way longer than was necessary.
But when he whispered, “Please, forgive me, Isaac,” I barely stifled a cry as something inside of me burst.
Like some kind of ugly, festering wound that I’d been trying to ignore my whole life.
I pressed my mouth against the spot where his throat met his shoulder and used his hot skin as a way to muffle the sound. He was so big that I felt completely enveloped. Newt was gone. Dallas and Nolan too. There were no animals or trees. It was only warm, not freezing cold. And as excited as my dick was, my heart was the part of my body that finally felt like it was home for the first time in a really long while.
Maddox was the one to come to his senses first. Although he probably wasn’t coming to his senses so much as just ending the hug like a normal person. It was all I could do to force myself to let go of him. I couldn’t risk looking at him, so I glanced at Nolan as I reached down to take Newt’s hand. “Should we get going?”
The plan was for me to spend the day in the office going through some of the applications that had continued to trickle in while Newt continued to play with the kittens, as well as some of the older cats. Nolan had said it would help some of the older cats who got along with the kittens to start interacting with people more in the hopes they’d be adopted out as quickly as the babies. Neither Dallas nor Nolan had any issue with bringing the cats and kittens up to the office so I could keep an eye on Newt while he babysat the cats.
I didn’t wait for Nolan to answer as I pushed past Maddox and headed for the building that housed the cats. It took about twenty minutes to get Newt settled in his spot with the kittens. We let the older cats roam the entire office but put up a baby gate on the inside of the door frame to keep them from running out when someone opened the office door. Fortunately, most of the lookie-loo types had stopped showing up in masses in the three days since the truth about Dallas had come out. But there were still people showing up now and then. I’d had a chance to meet Sawyer briefly the day before, but he’d been called to a zoo in the south somewhere to consult on an injured bear, so he wasn’t expected back for a few days. It was with that thought in mind that Newt and I locked up the kittens in the large crate for their nap and then moved the few larger cats back down to the building they were housed in without waiting for Dallas and Nolan to do it at lunch time. Newt and I walked to the main house, and after giving him a simple lunch of soup and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, he went down for his nap without argument.
I used the time to clean up the kitchen and make some more sandwiches along with some coffee that I put in several insulated Thermoses. My hope was to find all three men together, but fortune only favored the brave and I ended up finding Dallas and Nolan working together in the livestock area. I had no clue where Maddox was and didn’t care, either.
Liar.
I walked into the barn and found Nolan and Dallas cleaning the stalls. Well, Dallas was cleaning them, and Nolan was clearly trying to stop him by stepping into the man’s path every time he tried to enter one of the stalls.
“
Please, Dallas, just let me finish up here and go lie down for a bit.”
Dallas shook his head and put his hand over the bandage on his throat as he rasped something that sounded like, “Fine.”
I cleared my throat to get their attention.
Both men looked up.
“I made some sandwiches,” I offered. “I’ve got some coffee, too.”
Both men seemed to relax for the moment as Nolan waved me forward and Dallas cleaned off the top of what looked like some kind of grain bin. I handed them each a couple of sandwiches which were in plastic bags. “I made sure the bread was fresh,” I said to Dallas. “I know you need to keep eating softer foods for a bit yet.”
Dallas nodded and smiled.
“How are things going in the office?” Nolan asked as both men began eating.
“Good,” I said. “Quieter today.”
I chuckled when both men looked relieved.
“You know, if you want me to help out here with anything, just let me know,” I said. “I’m stronger than I look. And Newt can help out with stuff too, as long as someone’s keeping an eye on him.”
I could see both men were trying to come up with reasons to say no to me, so I cut them off before they could respond. “Please don’t make me a charity case,” I said softly. “Because if that’s what I am, then Newt and I should just go—”
“No!” Nolan said as Dallas made a weird sound in his throat. “Sorry,” Nolan murmured. “You’re right. It’s just that Dallas and I both know how physically exhausting the work can be…”
“All the more reason to let me help,” I said. “I’m not saying I’m going to be able to do it all, but surely there are some tasks that don’t require brute strength.”
“How about tomorrow I show you and Newt how to clean up around these guys?” Nolan said as he motioned to the various livestock in the stalls.
“Great,” I said. “Speaking of brutes, any idea where your brother is?” I asked as I looked to Dallas. “I made him some sandwiches… you know, so he won’t eat unsuspecting children or villagers who happen by.”
Dallas and Nolan both laughed, but Dallas’s had a rasping quality to it. Dallas took out his phone. I liked that even though Nolan probably already knew the answer, he let Dallas tell me.
He’s fixing the fence on the mountain lion enclosure.
“Do you want me to take it to him?” Nolan asked carefully. No doubt both men were sensing the tension between me and Maddox. I was half-tempted to take him up on the offer but the reality was, Maddox and I needed to clear the air, especially if Newt and I were staying for a little while.
“No, it’s okay,” I said.
I left the barn and walked up the trail toward Gentry’s pen, which was on the side of the property where the rest of the larger, more dangerous animals were kept. As I walked, Jerry the zebra started walking along the fence line that bordered the path. I couldn’t help but laugh as I remembered Maddox’s fake horror at the thought of the striped menace biting him. Despite the animal being so far out of its natural habitat, I couldn’t help but think it looked at home as it plodded comfortably through the thick snow.
“You behave yourself tomorrow,” I said as I eyed him. “I heard what you did to Nolan when he started,” I added as I shook my finger at him. I stopped when Jerry hung his head over the fence and began shaking it like he was agreeing with me. It did not bode well for me come tomorrow.
“I think you can take him.”
I jumped a good foot at the sound of Maddox’s voice. This time he wasn’t behind me, but just a few feet ahead of me on the path where it split.
“Son of a mother!” I shouted. “God, will you please stop doing that?” I groused as I tried to calm my racing heart.
Maddox seemed amused as he said, “Sorry.”
I didn’t quite believe him.
“I thought you were working on the mountain lion fence,” I said.
“Finished,” was all he said in response. He looked yummy in his navy parka. Unlike Dallas, who regularly wore a jumpsuit of some kind to keep his clothes clean, Maddox wore just jeans and heavy work boots. His parka was buttoned, but I’d seen that he was wearing a thick hunter-green knit sweater earlier in the day.
Right before he’d hugged me.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“Bringing you,” –I looked down at the sandwiches at my feet– “lunch.” At least I’d managed to hang onto the Thermos.
Maddox stepped forward and it was all I could do not to move. He bent down in front of me to pick up the sandwiches. The plastic baggies had kept them protected from the snow, so he merely brushed the little bit of ice off them. “Thank you,” he said.
Man, the guy was going for a record with the polite thing. I almost wanted to look to see if Newt was around to account for his behavior. The reminder of my brother and the events of the morning had me handing the Thermos to him. “I want you to stay away from me and my brother while we’re here. Newt especially,” I blurted.
If he was surprised by my comments, he didn’t show it. “Why don’t we talk inside?” he said as he motioned to the building behind him. I knew it was the place Dallas kept orphaned babies in the spring. As far as I knew, it was empty at the moment.
Not that being in a room with a bunch of baby animals would have made any difference, but somehow the idea of being alone in a building with him made me nervous. But Maddox didn’t give me a chance to respond. Instead, he turned and went into the building, leaving the door open for me.
I forced myself to follow because I wasn’t afraid of him.
I wasn’t.
When I entered, the lights were on and Maddox had placed the sandwiches and Thermos on a small table in the middle of the room. I watched him strip off his gloves so he could wash his hands. The building wasn’t warm, so I automatically put my arms around myself. If Newt and I were going to stay a little longer than planned, I’d need to invest in a heavier coat and some thicker sweaters. My plan had been to do so once we got to New York, but I’d also planned to have a lot more money to spend on stuff like that. As it was, I wouldn’t get paid for this job for at least a week. Dallas had offered to pay me an advance, but I’d refused and, fortunately, he hadn’t argued with me.
But it was definitely going to suck having to work in the icy conditions without the right clothes. As it was, Dallas had let me borrow one of his older coats, but it was too big on me and would make cleaning awkward. At least I had enough clothes for Newt that I could bundle him in layers. And I had enough cash that maybe I could go to the thrift shop and find him some snow pants and actual winter boots, especially if we were going to be spending more time outside.
I was silent as Maddox took his time getting cleaned up. He shrugged his coat off and pushed up his sleeves before reaching for one of the sandwiches. My belly dropped out at the sight of the dark hairs on his muscled forearm.
“So you were saying you want me to stay away from Newt… and you?” Maddox asked. He took three bites and the sandwich was gone.
“Yeah, that’s right,” I said. I felt a shiver go through me, but part of it was the cold.
Maddox reached for the second sandwich but hesitated, then he was moving toward me. I automatically stepped back before I could stop myself. But he just walked past me and closed the door, which I’d inadvertently left open. When he returned to the table, he stayed on my side of it. There were only a few feet separating us. A row of cages was at my back, preventing my escape.
Maddox reached for the Thermos and took a sip of the coffee, then handed it to me.
The actual Thermos, not the cup that came with it. And the way he’d turned the container, if I took it just like it was and drank, my lips would touch the same part of the opening that his had.
Had he done it that way on purpose?
Jesus, Isaac, get a grip. The man isn’t attracted to you.
I sighed and took the Thermos. I should have thanked him but didn’t. I’d made the
damn coffee, after all. I didn’t often drink coffee because I just wasn’t a big fan, but it was hot so I didn’t care. I handed it back to him and watched as he took another drink. There was no doubt that his lips covered the spot where mine had been.
Despite the cold, my dick responded accordingly.
I needed to go. I was about to do that when Maddox’s fingers were suddenly on my arm. I opened my mouth to protest, but snapped it shut again when all he did was grab his parka lying across the table and drape it around my shoulders.
“Is it true?” Maddox asked as he stepped back, giving me a little breathing room.
“Is what true?”
“Did I make you cry… again?”
“No,” I scoffed, even as I got all hot inside. “What you saw at the motel—”
“Was it me you were talking about in your dream last night? Was it me you wanted to stay away from you?”
What?
“Or is Newt mixing me up with someone else?”
How the hell had we gotten on this topic?
“Look, I—”
“And if it was me, was it because I scared you? Because I don’t want you to be scared of me, Isaac.”
Jesus. What the hell was happening?
“I especially don’t want to be the reason your brother is scared.” I felt my stomach knot at that because it was the way he’d made the comment that had me on edge. He confirmed my thinking a second later when he stepped closer to me and whispered, “Are you both scared of me?”
I froze when his finger came up to trail my cheek gently. “Tell me who he is, Isaac, and I swear, he’ll never touch you or your brother again.”
Chapter Nine
Maddox
It lasted about three seconds.
That moment where I could see him desperate to answer me truthfully, to ask for help, to accept it, to trust in it.
But his eyes shuttered just as quickly, and his lips drew into a tight frown. “Don’t use my brother to try and make up for the shit you did to yours,” he said quietly, deliberately. As much as I would have liked to deny it, the barb hit its mark and I found myself stepping back. He took my parka off and tossed it on the table. His eyes were brittle as he said, “Stay away from Newt.”
Sanctuary Found_Pelican Bay [Book 2] Page 11
