Wicked Flower

by Carlene Love Flores

  “Sorry,” he said. “I’m just tired. I’d never judge you. Thought you would know that by now.”

  “It’s been a long day for us both. And I do know that. I’m tired too,” she said and shimmied down into the cushion of the soft ground.

  “A second ago, something happened. What was it? A kick?” he asked.

  Dani hesitated but this was the man she wanted to be sharing these moments with. It shattered her heart into a million pieces to allow herself to think that thought. “A tumble. It was more like a tumble,” she said low.

  “May I?” Stefan moved his hand toward her hip.

  “Why?”

  “You must really think I’m some sort of leper.”

  She hated that she’d made him feel that way.

  No, they both knew she didn’t think that of him. Neither of them should remind the other of how they knew. That didn’t stop the images. The gold, ember-like flecks she’d seen as he kissed her barreled in first. The peak of his tongue before she’d felt it in her mouth. This tender version of him asking to touch her stomach.

  The baby rolled again. She gasped. Stefan’s hand hovered over hers.

  She took it and pressed it down over her skin.

  “That’s something special, Dani.” He took his hand away then did like she had before and looked up at the sky. She felt like she had missed something and wondered if somewhere deep inside, Stefan might be thinking about the baby he’d made and lost so sadly.

  “Anything you need to get off your chest?” she asked.

  He looked at her and a half grin gave him that naughty air she’d missed the last few days.

  She wanted him to share something serious. If for nothing else than to even them up.

  “No, I prefer taking things off your chest, sweetheart.” He was terrible. “Your Thom is a lucky man. You’re going to make an excellent mom for his baby.” And despicably tender again. She’d never win with Stefan.

  “Thanks.” There were too many details and the simple answer told him everything he needed to know of her gratitude.

  “Goodnight.”

  Should she ask out loud the question that popped into her mind just then? For all she knew, he’d been the guy in a situation like hers. How could he not with all those lovers over the years?

  “Stefan, aside from your Amanda, would I be naïve to think you’ve never had another woman tell you she was pregnant?”

  He blinked.

  Her eyes grew wide.

  He just nodded.

  “Tell me please.”

  She felt his fingers roll over the top of her hand and then he gave it a gentle squeeze.

  “What’s your real question, sweetheart? Hmm?” He yawned and she felt one coming on too.

  In as unjudging a voice as she could manage, she asked him. “As an adult man, has anyone ever told you that you got them pregnant, Stefan?”

  He rolled onto his side so that he faced her but Dani stayed on her back, taking deep breaths of the nighttime air but trying to keep it unnoticeable. It was so stupid, but she wished her baby was his. He’d never believe her but she thought he’d make a very good daddy.

  ****

  Looking at Dani now, he couldn’t lie to her. He had to tell the truth. It was all they had for the next few days until he left.

  “Sure, there have been a few.”

  “Oh.”

  “But it’s not possible. I try not to be a dick about it. I offer to be tested, just as a formality.”

  “How can you be so sure?”

  “I haven’t slept with a woman without protection since I was sixteen. Not one single time.”

  Dani’s face nearly went white. She probably didn’t believe him, but it was true. He’d learned his lesson and it had cost him too much.

  “But condoms don’t stop all pregnancies.”

  “That’s a wives’ tale, Dani. They work just fine when you’re not trying to get pregnant. Otherwise…”

  “Otherwise you’d have kids running all over the place?”

  Shit. Yes, but he should have put that out there with some tact.

  “I am genuinely sorry if that offends you. I’ve been very active sexually for a long time. You should know that. But I always used protection.”

  “And your more recent activity?” she asked. He’d give her credit for hanging in there with him, dead tired as they both were. Not to mention he didn’t know a female on the planet who wanted to hear her man had until very recently slept with hundreds of women. Fuck. Her man, he thought. Huge ass slip for him to make. Stefan drew in a deep breath to douse the pain that slip had just caused him and prayed he didn’t get slapped.

  “Not as active,” he said.

  She looked like her brain was playing a mean game of table tennis and he knew he’d have to elaborate.

  “It’s been a month since I was with someone.” He felt the need to clarify that it had been just sex. Nothing close to all this confusing ass shit Dani was doing to his insides. But what she said next did him in for good where she was concerned.

  “I guess that’s not so bad. Hell, I slept with someone four months ago and I got myself knocked up. Sometimes sex is just sex. Until a baby comes along.”

  Oh, his heart was so screwed. Hell yeah he wanted to be her man. But he’d already sworn allegiance to the devil that he wouldn’t put her in a bind. He knew her well enough that seeing Thom face to face was important. No way could she up and relocate to Nashville with him now.

  Leaving her in a few days was going to suck.

  Right now that he had Dani where he wanted her, he was calling it a night. She was stuck with him for the next few comatose hours.

  “This doesn’t mean what you think it means,” he whispered across the foot of space separating them. And then that distance melted away as he rested his thigh over the tops of her legs, careful he hadn’t landed it near her belly. He pulled the blanket up so it covered them both and took her hand in his. “If it did, you’d know it. Now, I will be good. Let’s get some sleep.” Crickets sounded nearby. He gave Dani the rocking chair pillow and let the grass be his.

  ****

  They had to both be out of their minds balancing this line with absolutely no respect for how razor thin it was. Before she had time to wriggle out from his heavy thigh, he cleared his throat, low and subtly so she’d barely heard it. And then he began to hum, singing a word now and then.

  His singing voice was the most gorgeous sound she’d ever heard. Dani closed her eyes tight to try and memorize it, taking the sound into her heart and holding it there.

  The baby pushed. He must like it too.

  Stefan moved his hand ever so lower and he rubbed at the kicking spot. His humming took on the distinct form of a lullaby.

  Dani’s heart lodged in her throat.

  He was being terribly cruel and wonderful again.

  She’d been prepared to wipe away his tears, listen to his fears about his mom, but he’d held the pain of it in, leaving her with nothing to do but lay in want, under his heavy thigh. Her dark Superman had returned and she knew that if there were any way possible, she’d give in to him. Dani started to feel like he’d never ask, but after today, seeing his true heart, she’d follow him to hell and back. But, he hadn’t asked and she was still too gun-shy to invite herself for fear of being told no thanks.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Stefan woke up in the middle of the night with Dani snuggled close to his chest. Petting her arm and back gave him a calm he couldn’t remember ever waking up with.

  “I want to make love to you, Dani,” he whispered near her ear. They still had a couple hours until they had to be awake. He wouldn’t make things worse for her by getting feelings involved, but he’d share his body with her. They both deserved that much at this point.

  She stirred and her eyes opened. Shit.

  “I thought you were asleep.” He kissed the top of her hair.

  She turned her head until she faced him. They kissed the most natura
l, lovers’ kiss. His heart pounded so loud he could hear it in his ears. Her lips were so soft. She moved her neck like it was stiff from how he’d had her tucked into him all night.

  “Here, let me help you with that.”

  Stefan rubbed her neck and she wrapped her right arm around his back and began to massage him there and down his side, letting her hand rest on his hip before holding him in a hug again. He swallowed deeply. Fuck, why hadn’t he come to her while she was out of her mind asleep before? God, he hoped she knew what she was doing. That this easiness between them wasn’t just sleep induced on her part.

  “Is that better?” he asked, finishing the neck rub, wanting like never before with anyone, to be tender with her.

  “Yes, thank you.” She snuggled into him and the softer her body felt against his, the harder his shot to life. “I want to make love with you too.” She let her lips rest against his for a few seconds. “But, I can’t. We can’t. I’m sorry, Stefan.”

  What she’d just said.

  It forced him to take a breath.

  She’d gotten so far under his skin, hearing things like this built him up and tore him down like he was made of nothing because she was just too much.

  “Aside from the other issues, will you be honest with me? Are you worried I’d hurt the baby?” He felt his brow crinkle with his question, fearing she’d say yes.

  “Being completely honest? After all that’s happened, the other issues don’t seem as important. But that one, I don’t think you’d hurt us on purpose, but yes,” she said, shifting like she’d become uncomfortable. He didn’t want to let her twist away from him but she’d hurt him with that.

  “I promise I would be gentle, with both of you. I am capable of that.” He hadn’t been soft with a lover since he was sixteen, but with Dani, he would be again. He knew he would treat her with the utmost sensitivity, just like he’d done with Amanda all those years ago. Tenderness had become a foreign concept to him but there was no doubt, he’d do it for her.

  “I know you would, Stefan.”

  She softened the blow.

  They kissed and petted each other some more. His body stayed on constant alert. The second he sensed she’d let him, he would give it all to her. He didn’t want to waste this miracle of them simply lying in bed, no games being played. Just the two of them, connecting. Her not pulling away and saying they couldn’t. He couldn’t leave her and not have at least this experience with her.

  Steadily he petted her hands, her arms and back and her face and hair. He would show her he could be gentle. She might have just said otherwise, but he also believed she still felt very strongly about the other issues they’d had and he didn’t want that stuff getting in the way of what they could share tonight.

  “I want you to know that my personal feelings for you have nothing to do with the professional and greatly appreciated service you provide for my mom. Those two things are completely separate for me, Dani. I promise I would never let one affect the other. No matter what. You know staying away from you because of that has been killing me.”

  He realized just then that he’d admitted out loud he had feelings for Dani. She seemed at a loss for words to respond and so he just held her and rubbed her back some more, waiting.

  “Stefan, I don’t think I ever explained this properly to you. The other day when I told you I couldn’t have an orgasm wasn’t because I doubted your ability. It’s because I’d had one recently…” His look must have changed because she amended her words, slowly. “I mean that I gave myself one a few weeks ago, and I didn’t just feel the usual parts spasming. I felt my womb squeeze. It scared me then and it scared me again when it happened with you the other night. That’s why I thought maybe I’d done something to my baby.”

  That explained a lot. Was she okay right now?

  “Have you talked to your doctor?” he asked.

  Didn’t people have sex all the time when the woman was pregnant? Jaxon came to mind. The man craved pussy as much as Stefan. And he was sure Trista and Lucky, with the way they always looked so into each other, had to have kept up a healthy sex life even during pregnancy.

  “I haven’t asked. But I have my monthly check-up in the morning. I should ask then.”

  “You should,” he said and caressed her jaw. Making love with her would be his parting gift. But it would be more for him because he knew he’d treasure the experience forever.

  She looked at him earnestly while he continued holding her one hand and pressing her fingertips to his. “Stefan, all that other stuff, I hope you understand that wasn’t me just being a bitch. I really wish your mom was independently wealthy and that you had nothing to do with paying me. I mean, I know it’s not gonna matter now, when she moves.”

  Fuck. He did not want to talk about this with her. “I’ve never once thought of you as a bitch for feeling that way.” He stopped short of telling her he’d figured a way to fix that issue because it was moot now. Mom had always told him she’d rather pay for her home health nurse with her own money. He’d always just been too stubborn and insisted he do it. Now he knew his idiocy had cost them right from the jump. “I might not ask her to move. To be honest, Dani, I don’t want to get into it right now. Too tired, okay?”

  He felt her shoulders shrug tucked into his side.

  She reached up and kissed his chin which turned him into a hot spaz. Fuck if his toes didn’t curl. A shot of her taste splashed on his tongue like his favorite tequila. “Okay,” she said and paused while she petted the dent in his chin. “But I do have one more question.”

  “What?” he said, distracted by what she was doing with her fingers and lips to his chin.

  “Do you think you could be with me and stop before the climax this time? My climax I mean, not yours.”

  She asked so directly, he couldn’t speak at first. It reminded him of the very first time she’d told him to prove it.

  He took a long few seconds to think about his control and how he could see himself losing it with her. Sure, he’d probably gotten off over the years when his partner hadn’t but picturing that with Dani was inconceivable, especially after having his hands inside her the other night and feeling what he could do for her. Every night he’d gone to bed the past week, he’d pictured the look on her face as he ate her pussy and cherished her gorgeous body with everything he had. He’d gone over what her mewls would sound like as she panted in his ear, begging him to stop and then for more, over and over. Even after deciding asking her for a relationship was out of the question, the fantasy always ended with her praise for how well he’d pleased her.

  Never did he imagine her telling him to stop and actually mean it.

  He had no expectations right now. The fact she was here still shocked him.

  So he gave her an answer because she’d asked and he owed her something.

  “You’d have to tell me when you were close so that I could.” He pulled back and took a long look at her. She was serious but just as tormented as him. Fuck, there was no doubt in his mind. They were meant to be lovers. Not just for this week.

  She smiled. “I don’t know that I trust myself to be able to do that. Not after us in my car. Your car.” A frown creased her pretty brow and she kissed him long on the lips. He hummed at her taste he’d been denied for too long. “Stefan, for now, how about this?”

  Her hands rubbed his body up and down and she pulled his head to hers. Her hand moved over his ass. “What are we doing, sweetheart? Practicing our control, or playing with fire?”

  “I trust you,” she said.

  Stefan was still processing the words he had to have conjured up when her hand came around to cup him. Damn, he’d been waiting nine long days to feel that again. He groaned into her hair and felt his balls fill, his cock harden and his pants tighten. His hips rolled into her grasp. They played back and forth, her squeezing him and him riding her hand until she suddenly stopped cold. Shit, maybe he had imagined it all.

  Her one hand caught his as it s
hot to her belly, the other between her legs.

  Something very real had just happened and his heart slammed against his chest. “Are you okay? Dani? The baby again?”

  She blew out, swallowed and blinked. “That was close. I almost let go.”

  While he registered how good it felt to know she was okay—it had been a false alarm—it felt even better to know how easily he affected her. No question, they had a connection. What a waste, he thought. She wiggled out from their sideways embrace and scooted down on the grass. “Where are you going, sweetheart?” When she pulled him out of his pants, and her lips touched him, his eyes rolled back in his head. His head hit the lawn he’d mowed in order to keep his mind off this very thing.

  He wanted her so much and had been thinking about this for too long. All it can be is sex. Remember that.

  ****

  Dani’s toes curled and her spine arched as she took him in. She closed her eyes, breathing and calming her heartbeat. It took her every bit of concentration, but she pushed the desire to let go and feel this with him as far into the background as she could.

  The clean, musky scent of the hair encircling the base of his beautiful cock called to her nose and cheek. She ignored the call and laid her fingers over it, laying it flat so it couldn’t tickle her nose and distract her from her mission.

  His foot petted her side and gave her goose bumps.

  She took that tempting foot into her hand and pushed it away. He made a sound of disapproval until she compromised and found his ankle. Dani began rubbing tiny circles, massaging her way around his foot while at the same time laying her first kisses at the inside of his thigh. His hips relaxed and she gently worked up from his ankle with her left hand. He kept his knee bent and his calf close enough for her to touch. She kneaded the ball of tense muscle between her thumb and fingers until it felt more pliable then traveled her way up to the back of his knee and then the top and down over his muscular thigh.

  He let out a deep ‘unh’.

  Good. She hadn’t known how he’d respond to her taking her time. To any of this, it was such a 180 of what she’d insisted on before. His repeated ‘unh’s’ told her he appreciated it.