Reach for Heaven

by Marie Higgins

  “Gage, we need—” they said in unison.

  Violet’s eyes widened. They both laughed.

  “You go first,” she urged.

  He briefly examined the woman standing next to him; straight back, hands held together against her middle. “Do you know how long we’ve known each other?”

  A smile touched her lips. “Yes. Your family had been coming to see mine for about twelve years now.”

  He nodded and started walking again. “You were sixteen before I really noticed you as a woman.”

  A light laugh came from her. “Yes.”

  “I thought you were the prettiest girl around. You were kind and loving...everything I wanted in a woman.”

  “Is that why you asked me to marry you?”

  “Not really.”

  He stopped and turned toward her. “Do you remember our first kiss?”

  “Yes.” She folded her arms as her gaze drifted away from his eyes. “It was on a Sunday. We’d just walked up to Poppy's Meadow to have a picnic, and after we finished eating, you kissed me.”

  He smiled from the memory. “You’re right. Do you remember our first fight?”

  She chuckled as her gaze lifted. “Actually, it was more like a disagreement, but yes, I remember. You had wanted to ride Thunder. I didn’t want you to, but Pa gave you permission. You knew my feelings, but you went ahead and rode that horse.”

  “Why didn’t you want me to ride him?”

  “Because he was my favorite horse, and I didn’t know how to share back then.”

  Chuckling, he nodded. “I don’t think I knew how to share, either, but over the years we grew to like each other.” He smiled. “Soon your family talked about us getting married, and it didn’t take long for my family to join in.”

  She tilted her head. “Is that why you asked me to marry you? Because our families wanted it?”

  He sighed heavily and frowned. “The truth is your pa threw the question at me. I was so surprised that I stumbled over my words. He seemed so happy about the idea, and I couldn’t break his heart. Marvin is like a father to me and I didn’t want to disappoint him.”

  “So, you don’t love me?”

  By the look in her wide eyes, he could tell that she was far from upset. In fact, her eyes practically danced with unleashed excitement. He decided to confess. “Oh, I love you all right, but not like a man who’s about to get married.”

  She grinned. “You mean like a sister?”

  “Um...yes, like a sister.” He studied her briefly. “Are you upset with me?”

  Violet let out a deep sigh. “Of course not, Gage. I feel just the same way.”

  A gush of air escaped his mouth. “Really?” He chuckled. “You love me like a sister?”

  She laughed and shook her head. “I love you like a brother.”

  Gage’s grin widened. “So you won’t be too upset if we call off the wedding?”

  She cupped his face and planted a kiss on his lips. She pulled away and ran her fingertips lightly down his cheek. “Gage, you’ve made me so happ—” She cleared her throat. “Believe it or not, I’ve been feeling the same way, but—” The excitement in her expression faded. “What about Pa? How is this news going to affect him?”

  Gage sighed, as he stroked the day-old stubble on his chin. “I know what you mean. I don’t want to hurt your pa, but I don’t want to ruin both our lives, either.”

  She nodded. “I know.”

  He glanced across the yard. The moon wasn’t very bright tonight, which cast shadows all around them as he tried to figure out a solution to their problem. There had to be a way to make it work. “Perhaps we should wait to call off our wedding, until your father is better. We’ve been postponing it for a while, so what’s a few more months?” He quickly looked at her to see her reaction.

  She nodded eagerly. “Yes. Ma thinks the doctor in Idaho City will be able to fix Pa’s legs. Within a few months, we’ll know one way or another.”

  He took hold of her hand. “Should we let anyone else in on our secret?”

  She gave him a one-shoulder shrug. “I don’t know.”

  “All right then, maybe we shouldn’t. At least not until we tell your parents.”

  The corners of her lips lifted. “Yes, that’s a good plan.”

  He squeezed her hands. “Are you sure you’re not angry with me?”

  “No, I’m actually relieved. I didn’t love you like a man I should be marrying, either.” She laughed and punched him lightly on the arm. “I’m so glad we had this talk.”

  “I do love you, Violet.” He winked.

  “I love you, too.” She grinned. “Like a brother.”

  “Well, I’d better let you go inside before your family wonders what happened to you.”

  “All right. I shall see you tomorrow, then.”

  “I don’t know. Clint wants me to go riding with him again.”

  “So tell me, Gage,” she folded her arms, “is Clint trying to get you to become his replacement when he’s made a deputy marshal?”

  “It sure seems that way, but he knows my heart is set on a cattle ranch, and building my veterinarian office.”

  “Just as long as you don’t forget your goals.”

  “I won’t.” He walked her back to the house. He kissed her on the cheek and watched her hurry inside.

  Slowly he meandered back to his horse, his mind whirling with thoughts. Freedom from an unwanted marriage brought a multitude of feelings with it. Violet was happy. He was happy. Or was he?

  He mulled the question in his head for moment. Yes, he was happy, but he no longer had that special woman in his life to love, and that felt strange. Right away Adella’s face appeared in his mind. Lovely Adella—fire blazing from her blue eyes as she sat hog-tied to the back of his horse; Adella stubbornly jumping over the fence just to win the race. And Adella trying to be brave while she tracked down those bandits...and almost got herself in big trouble.

  And Adella who could twist his mind and make him have the most insane thoughts of wanting to kiss her.

  He stopped when he caught himself smiling. Smiling? Shoot, he was grinning like a Cheshire cat! He sobered immediately Why was he thinking about Adella? It would never work. They couldn’t even be in the same room without getting into a heated brawl.

  He mounted his horse and rode off toward the cabin he shared with Clint. Although he wanted to clear his mind of everything, he knew he’d go to bed with the wonderful image of a wildcat with long, auburn hair...

  ADELLA SIPPED HER GLASS of milk as she tried not to involve herself with the conversation at the supper table. She hadn’t seen Gage for almost a week—since that incident with the bandits. It surprised her that he hadn’t said anything to her aunt or uncle about what happened. Adella was certain they would understand her purpose in wanting to get the reward money and to put some of Buchanan’s gang behind bars, but she knew her aunt and uncle would have not liked what she’d done because it had put her in a dangerous situation.

  Her attention switched between her cousins as she listened to what Nate and Charles were blabbering about. She tried casting aside the disturbing thoughts of Gage, but her loudmouth cousins kept her informed about what Gage and Clint were doing this past week. Since her cousins were Gage and Clint’s biggest fans, they also boasted about their exploits, and happily discussed the town’s preparations for tomorrow’s scheduled events.

  “Did you see the new picture window at the Mercantile?” Charles began. “It took five men to help put it in.”

  “No, it didn’t,” Nate corrected. “It only took three.”

  Charles lifted his chin and scowled at his brother. “Yah, but if Gage hadn’t been helpin’, I’m sure it would’ve taken five.”

  Nate scowled. “But if Clint was there, I’m sure he and Gage could’ve put it in by themselves.”

  A soft chuckle came from the corner of the table as Violet hid a laugh behind her cupped hand. Though no one else seemed to notice Violet’s displa
y, it caught Adella’s attention. Her cousin had been acting strangely these past few days, and Adella wondered what the other woman was up to. Forgetting her manners, Adella rested her elbows on the table and studied Violet while her cousins rattled on.

  “Mr. Smith helped make the sign. I saw’d him paintin’ it,” Charles piped up, his face smeared with jam as he reached across the table for another biscuit.

  “Well, Clint cut out the wood,” Nate bragged. “Clint is the greatest builder in the world.”

  “Clint took me to see the house he built for Violet and Gage.” All eyes turned toward Charles. “I think it’s the greatest thing I ever saw’d.”

  “You have ever seen,” Adella corrected automatically as she flashed a glance his way.

  “That’s what I said,” he snapped, “but Clint says he built it ‘specially for Gage and Violet.” He turned to Violet. “Do you like it? Clint didn’t know fer sure ‘cause he said you howled like a female polecat the whole time you was lookin’ through the cabin.”

  Violet smiled at Charles. “Yes, I really like it.”

  “Well, I told him that you prob’ly did.”

  Elizabeth was quiet as she wiped her face with a cloth napkin then pulled away from the table. Adella was surprised at her cousin’s good manners. Elizabeth was in her sixteenth year, becoming a young woman right before Adella’s eyes.

  “Ma? Can I be excused?” Elizabeth asked.

  “Yes, dear,” Aunt Lillian replied.

  Nate snickered teasingly. “Where ya goin’, Lizzy? Goin’ ofta meet your boyfriend, Tommy?” Charles joined with a belt of laughter.

  Elizabeth heatedly pushed her chair into the table, making it rock slightly. “It’s none of your business.”

  “Boys,” Aunt Lillian calmly said, “Elizabeth is a young woman now. If she wants to go courtin’, it’s her own business.”

  “So just keep your nose outta my life.” Elizabeth huffed and stomped out of the kitchen.

  The expression on Elizabeth’s face revealed the emotion she wanted kept secret, but Adella knew the signs. Inwardly, she chuckled, and even after everyone had left the table, she couldn’t help the light laugh that bubbled up from her chest. Elizabeth was in love.

  A strange lonely feeling engulfed Adella and she wished she had someone to love. For a while she thought she had feelings for Albert Owens, but being away from him for these past several weeks, she realized that he rarely occupied her thoughts. If she was in love, wouldn’t she think of him constantly?

  As she moved around the table collecting the dirty dishes, confusion boggled her mind when she thought about the man she loved to hate. That blasted Gage Grayson wouldn’t stay out of her mind, but sometimes she felt confused by the heated sparks between them.

  She emptied the armful of dishes into the bubble filled sink. Violet smiled at her as she cleaned off a plate. “Thank you, Adella. I haven’t realized until just recently how much I enjoy doing things with you.”

  Adella laughed. “And I, you.”

  Violet rearranged the dishes. “I have to tell you, Ma thinks Mrs. St. James sent us home an imposter. Just look at the way you’ve picked up on domestic work, and I know I’ve never seen you wearing dresses as much as you do now.”

  Adella smiled. “Well, after the death of my parents and brother, I realized I needed to become a different person. I couldn’t be that tomboy any longer. I was so afraid that someone would realize I was a Lancaster, and that the Buchanan Gang would come find us and kill us.”

  Sadness dimmed Violet's eyes. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that. It must have been awful not to tell people who you really were. I can see you have become a lovely, strong woman because of your hardships.”

  “Thank you. Sometimes I wonder who I really am. Sometimes the tomboy inside of me wants to come out, and other times the mild-mannered, strict teacher wants me to remain a lady.” A tender smile lifted Adella’s lips as she reached for a dry cloth. “Here, let me help you with the dishes.”

  “No, I’m fine. You go in and visit with everyone.”

  “Really?”

  Violet laughed. “Yes, now skedaddle.”

  Adella didn’t argue, but hurried into the parlor. When she saw her aunt helping Uncle Marvin to the bedroom, she knew the visit would have to wait. Rest would do him good.

  Trying to decide how to keep herself entertained for the remainder of the evening, she wandered outside and strolled around the house. When an idea took root in her mind, she smiled wide. She knew Violet felt overwhelmed by the preparation for the wedding, which was why she didn’t have time to decorate the cabin, so Adella would make Violet some curtains for her new home. Although Adella’s talents were not fully developed in that area, she’d still try.

  Sneaking quietly, she tiptoed into Aunt Lillian’s sewing room and found the measuring string then hurried to the barn. She saddled a horse and grabbed a lantern before riding to the cabin. As she approached the small house, she couldn’t help but feel admiration for Clint’s labors. The inside of the cabin was as pretty as she remembered, but as she stepped into the kitchen, the bare walls echoed her feelings of loneliness.

  After lighting the lantern, she slowly walked through each room and examined it as a new bride would. Envy pierced through her harder than it had before. She couldn’t understand Violet’s restraint. If this were Adella’s place, she’d be here every day decorating it for her wedding night.

  What would her life be like if she were married? She would certainly want a romantic love as Mr. and Mrs. St. James has—like Aunt Lillian and Uncle Marvin has.

  She set the lantern down in the hallway and peeked into the bedroom. Mrs. St. James had told her a little about what happens between a husband and wife, and suddenly Adella’s interest was roused. She stepped into the empty bedroom and stopped in the middle of the room. Her gaze scanned each corner, and then the window. Immediately, she pictured this space as if it was hers and she was living here. In the far corner she’d set the armoire and next to it a small table to hold the wash basin. In the other corner she’d put her favorite rocking chair, waiting for the time she could put her baby to sleep. And the bed...would go against the inside wall.

  The bed.

  Adella’s stomach started dancing with silly flitters. This is where she would share a bed with her husband. She remained motionless as she closed her eyes, creating the scene in her mind. She would stand in the bedroom, just as she was doing now, and her husband would come to her and take her in his arms. He’d whisper in her ear how much he loved her, adored her, and couldn’t live without her. He’d stroke her arms and neck so tenderly until he captured her mouth. He’d kiss her so deeply...so ardently, she’d become dizzy with passion.

  Shivers of delight pumped through her body as warmth filled her.

  Her husband would be very gentle and loving. She would run her hands over his wide, leather-tight chest, helping him to remove his shirt. She’d feel his fierce heartbeat against her palm. His skin would be warm. He’d smell like cedar and spice. His ragged breaths would be as heavy as her own.

  Soon, the man in her dreams became clearer, and she could see how tall he was, his wide shoulders, his wavy golden-wheat hair, nearly the same color as his mustache. He’d have the most amazing hazel eyes...

  When she recognized his face, she jerked out of her dream-like state, aghast at the man she’d pictured in her mind. Once again, that scoundrel Gage Grayson occupied her thoughts. Of all people, why did it have to be him? Dare she admit he was all she thought about and she actually looked forward to seeing him again?

  “Gage,” she sighed heavily in surrender.

  “Yes?”

  His voice startled her. She jumped and turned toward the doorway. The heady sensations still tore through her body like a cyclone, making her mind numb. Gage stood with his shoulder against the doorframe, his hands folded across his chest. He wore that cocked-eyed-sure expression which told her he knew exactly what she’d been imagining.


  “What do you want, Adella?”

  Her hand covered her pounding heart. “I, uh, I –” She swallowed hard. “What are you doing here?”

  “I should ask you the same thing.”

  “But I asked first.”

  He tilted his head slightly. “This is the place where I’ll be living. Now what’s your excuse?”

  She ran her hands down the waist of her skirt, drying the moisture gathered on her palms. Hopefully, the raging temperature inside her would cool just as quickly. “I’m going to measure the windows for some curtains.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I want to do something nice for my cousin. I don’t know what else to give her for a wedding present.”

  He nodded. “That’s thoughtful.”

  Her lips twitched into a small smile. “Thank you. The idea just came to me tonight. It might not be the best sewing job in the world, but I’ll certainly try my hardest.”

  He returned a smile. “I’m sure you will, but –” He bent and picked up the lantern she’d left in the hall. “Won’t you need some light to measure the windows?”

  Giving him a piqued stare, she groaned from her obvious brain shutdown. She rushed to him and snatched the lantern out of his hand before walking to the window. After placing the light by her feet, she reached into the pocket of her skirt and withdrew the measuring string. She stood on her tiptoes to measure the top of the window, but realized she wasn’t tall enough.

  As she extended her reach, heated goosebumps trickled all over her body. Gage must be watching her. Strange to think her body knew without having to actually see him. An awkward silence stretched between them, and she had a sneaky suspicion she knew what he was thinking.

  “Do you need any help?” he asked.

  She glanced over her shoulder and wished he’d remove that ridiculous charming grin. “No. I can do it.” But after a few more tries, she released a defeated sigh and lowered her arms. “Gage? Would you help me, please?”

  He laughed. “What did you say?”

  She threw him another glare. “All right, I’ll admit I need your help.”