Reach for Heaven

by Marie Higgins

Gage’s laughter grew until he stood beside her. “You’re not any good at this measuring thing, are you, Duchess?”

  Irritated, she shook her head. There was that title again. Yet, for some reason, it didn’t bother her much to hear him call her that. “If you had any eyes in your hard head, you’d see I’m not tall enough to measure the top.”

  “True, but –” He pulled the string from her fingers and stretched it out on the bottom of the window. “The top is the same size as the bottom, so just measure the bottom. It’s easier.”

  She released a growl-like huff as she snatched the string from him and proceeded to measure.

  Gage stood close, and his nearness was uncomfortably pleasant, crazily twisting her emotions out of control. Out of the corner of her eyes, she noticed his gaze skimming over her dress, her hair. Her face burned. She never liked feeling this out-of-control before, and it was time she quit letting him get the best of her.

  Angrily she puffed and lowered the string to her waist, keeping her gaze toward the window. “Would you please stop looking at me?”

  “Can’t. There’s nothing else to look at.”

  “Then go somewhere else.”

  “You don’t like me looking?”

  “No,” she clipped.

  “Liar.”

  She met his stare and lifted her chin stubbornly. “I’m not lying.”

  His attention moved over her once more before giving her his self-assured grin. “Tell me something, Duchess. What were you dreaming about when I first came in?”

  She swallowed hard and she knew her heated face gave away her thoughts. “Well, if you must know, I was just fanta—um –” She cleared her dry throat. “I mean I was imagining what it would be like to be married and living in a place like this.”

  His grin widened. “You were fantasizing, huh?”

  “No, I was imagining.”

  “Same thing.”

  “No, it’s not.”

  Softly, his fingers caressed her cheek. “You were blushing just now, Adella. Your face glowed like a lighthouse. That doesn’t happen very often. What exactly were you thinking?”

  She knocked his hand away and faced the window. “You startled me; that’s probably why my face was red.”

  He moved closer, bracketing the wall beside her with one hand. “Were you thinking about being alone with a man? Were you fantasizing about how it would be on your wedding night?” he whispered in her ear.

  She forced a laugh. “Of course not. Nice girls don’t think about things like that.”

  He tilted his head and grinned. “Then why were you having those thoughts?”

  She spun around and her hand flew through the air to slap his face, but he stopped it before it could connect with his cheek. He grabbed her other wrist and imprisoned both arms behind her waist, backing her up against the wall. It only took a second for her to react to the hard contours of his chest as it pressed against her bosom. Desire flowed hot through her. It felt so right, but this was so wrong.

  She struggled. “Let me go.”

  “No. I want to know what you were thinking.”

  “I told you.”

  “No, you didn’t. I want you to tell me how you think it’ll be on your wedding night.”

  “You’re an animal,” she spat.

  “Were his lips touching yours in a passionate kiss?” he prodded, moving his mouth closer to hers. His heart pounded against hers, the rhythm matching perfectly with the beat coming from her.

  “Gage, please.” Her voice softened. “Why are you doing this to me?”

  His lips hovered over hers as he stared into her eyes. “I don’t know. I wish I could make some sense out of this, but I can’t.”

  Gage closed the space between them, pressing his lips against hers. She hitched a breath from the surprise, but when explosions went off inside her head from the tenderness he displayed, she sighed and melted next to him. He released her hands to wind his around her waist, pulling her closer. She slipped hers around his neck and hooked her wrists, not wanting to let go.

  Softly, his lips coaxed hers...and she responded. The warmth from his body blended with hers, and for the first time, she allowed herself to fully experience what it felt like to be thoroughly kissed by a man. And what a man... What a kiss! Never in her wild imagination did she expect such a thrill.

  He tilted his head and deepened the kiss. A strange sound escaped her throat. Had she really moaned? Yet, kissing Gage felt so good, and she couldn’t understand why she was enjoying it so much.

  Little by little, the kiss grew bolder. Wilder. She exhaled another throaty moan and clung to him, her fingers digging into the collar of his shirt. Was it wrong of her to encourage his passionate kiss? Yet, she didn’t want him to stop. She didn’t want this wondrous feeling of...happiness to leave her.

  “Oh, Ella,” he whispered against her lips, pulling her closer with an urgency she really didn’t understand.

  In her mind, she replayed her fantasy and wished for it to become a reality...but Gage was not hers. He was engaged to her cousin. Pain stabbing her chest made her break the kiss as she shook her head. She clutched his shoulders to push him away, but didn’t have the strength to move him.

  “Oh, my sweet Ella.” He rested his forehead against hers. “Why did you stop?”

  His breaths were heavy, as were hers, and heaven help her she couldn’t quite get hers to regulate. Confusion and sadness swept over hers. “Can’t you see? You and Violet are soon going to be living in this house as husband and wife. This is wrong, Gage. I can’t kiss you like this.”

  “But, you don’t understand –”

  She pressed her hands against his chest, trying to move further away, but he held her tight, refusing to release.

  “Adella, listen to me.”

  Shaking her head, she whispered, “Let me go.”

  “Adella—”

  “No. Please, Gage. If you want someone to kiss, try doing it to my cousin.”

  She shoved against him with all the force of her body. Knocking herself off balance, she stumbled back. Her foot kicked the lantern, spilling fuel as she fell to the floor. Quick as lightening, flame licked the hem of her skirt.

  “Adella!” Gage flew on top of her, rolling with her on the ground and beating the flames until the fire was out. Just as quickly, he jumped and stomped out the small fire that had started on the floor.

  Everything happened so fast, and yet she knew she could have burned. Her body shook with the knowledge.

  He knelt and gathered her in his arms. “Are you all right, darling?”

  She snuggled closer against his chest. “Oh, Gage,” she said out of breath, “I...I...could have burned down your house.”

  “No, my darling. I wouldn’t have let that happen.” He lifted her skirt and checked her legs.

  “I’m all right. The fire didn’t touch my skin.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes, I think so.”

  He cupped her face in his hands, then leaned forward and kissed her lips briefly. “You don’t know how terrified I was when I saw your skirt on fire.”

  “It scared me, too.”

  “If anything would’ve happened to you—” His voice cracked.

  “Nothing happened. You...saved me once again.” She paused as a thought struck her. Since the death of her parents and her brother, she didn’t want to rely on anyone but herself. She didn’t want anyone to protect her. She could do it herself. Yet since meeting Gage Grayson, she’d somehow become weak in his presence. Well, no more!

  She pushed him away and jumped to her feet. “Curse your hide, Gage Grayson.”

  Falling back on his heels, he looked up at her, his brows creased. “What did I do now?”

  She folded her arms as her temper snapped. “You...you...you always felt you had to protect me, haven’t you?”

  He stood slowly, shaking his head. “Adella, I don’t know what you mean.”

  “Oh, yes you do, and I’m tired of it. I
’m so tired of it that I could...I could...” She paused, searching for her words. Without finishing, she whacked his chest.

  “Hey. Whoa. What’s going on? I don’t understand you, Adella.”

  She continued to pummel him with soft blows even as Gage deflected them, until her exhausted arms dropped to her sides. “Oh, it’s hopeless. You’ll never change and I’ll certainly never change.”

  He grasped her shoulders. “Adella, for the life of me, I can’t figure out what you’re talking about. Will you please tell me what I’ve done wrong? Why are you so mad?”

  Tears gathered in her eyes and her chest felt like bursting. “I’m tired of feeling helpless. I’m not, and I never want to feel this way again. From the first day of meeting you, you’ve made me feel powerless. Well, I’m not, and I don’t need you. I...I hate you, Mr. Grayson.”

  She stomped toward the door, but he grabbed her by the arm, turning her to face him. Confusion creased his forehead with lines and had removed the light that had been in his eyes not too long ago.

  “I’m sorry you feel that way about me. I confess, we didn’t exactly start out liking each other, but I thought since we met up again here in Bonner County, that you...um, well, that our feelings had changed.” Frowning, he shook his head. “I’m sorry you hate me, because I don’t hate you. Far from it, in fact.”

  Tears flowed down her cheeks. He was right. Their feelings had changed since coming to Bonner County. She didn’t hate him at all. She wanted to, but she couldn’t. There could only be one other reason her chest...her heart hurt this much.

  She loved him.

  A knot the size of Texas formed in her throat and left her speechless. But then, what could she say? He wasn’t hers, and would never be. With her emotions in twisted confusion, she ran out of the cabin and into the night.

  Chapter Fourteen

  A small children’s parade started the Bonner County’s festivities in style. Flags waved, banners soared, and people pleasantly visited with each other. The heavenly aroma of popcorn and peppermint sticks filled the air, stirring Gage’s hungry stomach. Today’s outing actually brought a smile to his face as he mingled amongst the town folk. At times, he found himself laughing out loud. Dare he wonder over this new attitude? Especially since last night’s kiss left him in such confusion?

  He leaned against the street corner post and sighed, watching the hordes of people move from the parade to the displays lining the street. Women gathered around the baked goods and bottled fruits, cackling like proud peacocks over their talents. The men also boasted, but with a mug of beer in their hands. Gage held back his laughter over their drunken gallantries.

  He felt at home here, which was good. He’d liked Lewiston, but he actually felt as if Bonner County was his home.

  From up the street, he focused his attention on another presence, one that confused him greatly. Adella had returned to her schoolmarm appearance; a dress that covered her from neck to wrist to ankle, and her hair wound tightly in a coil on the back of her head. The autumn breeze teased loose strands around her ears, but nowhere else. She waved at an acquaintance and her glorious smile lit up her whole face. He grinned in reaction.

  She stopped by a table of hand-stitched items and touched the delicate crocheted pillowcase. He didn’t know that much about her, but from what her cousins had told him, Adella used to be a tomboy. The cousins had also mentioned that women’s work; cooking, stitchery, and anything dainty, didn’t fit Adella. That was certainly different from the proper schoolteacher he’d met that first day in Lewiston.

  Children darted past her skirts and tilted her off balance, making her angelic laughter ring through the air. His lips automatically stretched wider, if that were possible. As she crouched to their level and chatted with a few toddlers, a genuine sweetness radiated from her face. A little boy presented her with a daisy, and when Adella bestowed the youngster with a kiss on the cheek, Gage’s heart leapt.

  Why couldn’t she be that kind to him?

  He closed his eyes, and the memory of her kiss returned. His body experienced again the quivering feeling in his belly, and the rapid beating of his heart, making him want to be alone with her once again. Mentally shaking himself, he tried to force the wonderful sensations out of his thoughts before they drove him insane.

  The clicking of women’s heeled shoes sounded on the boardwalk, snapping his attention back to reality. As Adella and Violet walked his way, his heart accelerated even faster. He took a quick glance at Violet who, as always, looked proper wearing a modest blue dress. However, Adella looked stunning in the very proper cream-colored blouse that molded nicely to her womanly figure. The rust colored skirt stretched across her hips, pulling his focus there.

  When he realized the direction of his thoughts, he quickly lifted his gaze and met Adella’s stare. A tint of pink highlighted her cheeks, and he inwardly cursed his wandering mind. He was sure she knew what he’d been thinking.

  “Hello, Gage,” Violet greeted.

  “Hello, Violet. Adella.”

  Adella nodded once and mumbled a soft greeting.

  “Are you enjoying this lovely morning?” Violet asked.

  “I am. Spring’s perfect weather has never felt better.”

  “I agree.” Violet took a quick glance at her cousin. “Adella and I are on our way to play a few games. Would you like to join us?”

  He watched Adella’s expression and held his laughter. Panic settled in her pretty, wide azure eyes. Obviously, she didn’t like the idea of him joining them. He should join the two cousins just to antagonize Adella, but after considering it for a moment, he decided not to take Violet up on her invitation.

  “Thanks, but I’m scheduled to help Clint over at the gunnysack races in a few minutes.”

  Violet smiled wide. “Oh, that sounds like a lot of fun. What do you say, Adella?” She elbowed her cousin’s arm. “Should we go support our favorite men?”

  Adella studied her brown boots and wouldn’t meet his eyes. “Yes. That would be all right.”

  “Great.” Violet clapped. “Gage, we’ll see you over there in a little while.”

  “I’ll be counting the minutes.” He chuckled as the women walked away, loving the sight of Adella's ramrod-straight back and the gentle sway of her skirt. After taking a few more steps, she glanced over her shoulder at him. Her eyes twinkled...or was it just the way the sun’s rays glinted off the lovely color? Her face flamed before she looked back on the walkway ahead of her. When he felt himself smiling like a kid in a candy store, he quickly sobered. Why was he so giddy? The confounded woman didn’t want him. She adamantly voiced her feelings on the subject last night.

  Hanging his head, he sauntered to the field where the gunnysack race had been set up. Clint’s voice boomed through the streets, inviting everyone to participate. Gage handed out the sacks and lined up the runners. Clint gave a loud whistle, starting the race.

  Putting Adella’s attitude temporarily out of his thoughts, Gage found himself laughing with the others. Time quickly slipped by, and before he knew it Adella and Violet stood in front of him, ready to receive their gunnysacks. He smiled politely and handed Adella a sack, then gave one to Violet. He was happy to see Violet like this, so full of spirit and having fun.

  At Clint’s whistle, the racers geared onward, contestants pushing themselves to their very limits. Laughter grew throughout the small crowd as people tripped in their sacks and fell to the ground, but not Adella. Of course, the little spitfire always tried to beat everyone. The race ended when Adella crossed the finish line first. The tight coil that had held her hair together earlier was now hanging on her shoulder. Her flushed face and sparkling eyes made his chest ache with that familiar feeling. He cursed fate for choosing Adella as the woman who could awaken his emotions.

  She joined the next race and succeeded in winning. Again. When she paid for the following race, he decided she needed a lesson in humility. He grabbed a gunnysack and stood in line beside her. When her eye
s met his, he gave her one of his self-assured grins, silently communicating his intention. She must have read his expression perfectly because she lifted her chin as if to accept the challenge. He tried to remember that he was upset with her, but watching her only made him feel giddy.

  “On your mark,” Clint began loudly. “Get set. Go!”

  Gage put his full effort into the race, staying right next to Adella. Her determined glances let him know that she would not give up, but then again, neither would he.

  Neck and neck he jumped beside her, making his way toward the finish line, enough ahead that it looked as if he’d win the game. Mere feet before he reached the finish line, a nagging thought entered his mind. Their conversation from last night at the cabin hit him full force, her voice echoing loudly in his ears. I’m tired of feeling helpless. I’m not and I never want to feel this way again.

  Heartache sliced through his chest, and he knew he couldn’t beat her now. She must feel powerful. He had to forfeit the game.

  Faking a fall, he tumbled to the ground just inches away from the finish line. The crowd cheered when his opponent crossed first. He looked up and saw triumph on Adella’s face and his heart melted. He’d made the right decision when he noticed her happy expression.

  He climbed out of the sack then stood and brushed the dirt off his pants. With the game over, the crowd drifted away, and he took the opportunity to go to her. She held a different look in her eyes when she faced him this time. Dare he hope she felt different?

  He smiled and stretched forth his right hand. “Congratulations, Adella.”

  Her humble smile softened when she placed her hand in his. “Thank you.”

  He didn’t know if she thanked him for handing over the race or for his kind praise, but suddenly it didn’t matter. Her expression was enough. His hand warmed against her skin.

  She withdrew, and with a light heart, he watched her walk away. For the first time since meeting her, he didn’t feel upset over her competitiveness because now he understood why she had this drive to win.

  Somebody’s strong grip clutched his arm and he turned. Clint stood behind him. “Hey, that was a good thing you did. I’m proud of you.”