The Swan Maid

by Dilly Court

  Lottie returned to the camp with a bolt of flannel and one of calico, which would have to do in place of the diaper-woven cloth. Mary had also donated needles and thread and a pair of business-like scissors that would slice through the material with ease, and the rest of the day was spent in cutting out tiny garments and squares of calico to use as nappies. Lottie and Ruby worked together while Molly slept peacefully in a cocoon of blankets procured by Lieutenant Bonney. At midday he brought them half a pound of dry biscuits, which Lottie suspected were from his own daily ration, and he showed them how to grind the green coffee berries that were standard issue.

  ‘If you dip the biscuits in the hot coffee they’ll be easier to eat.’ Bonney demonstrated by dunking one and handing it to Lottie. ‘Sometimes this is all we have to keep us from starvation.’

  ‘That’s terrible,’ Lottie said earnestly. ‘How can men be expected to fight if they’re half starved?’

  ‘They keep going on their daily ration of spirits and coffee,’ Bonney said with a wry smile. ‘I’ve heard that the French are better organised than we are. Lord Raglan has done his best to improve our lot, but the meat that arrives is often inedible, and the shipments of fruit and vegetables are rotten and have to be tossed overboard.’

  ‘My husband suffered from scurvy,’ Ruby said, wiping her eyes on the back of her hand. ‘I didn’t know it at the time, but he was giving me most of his rations, and I think it was that which left him too weak to fight off the cholera.’

  ‘I’m truly sorry for your loss, Mrs Wagg.’ Lieutenant Bonney lifted the tent flap. ‘I have to leave you now, but I’ll try to organise some supplies for you, although I can’t promise anything.’

  ‘Thank you for all your help.’ Lottie scrambled to her feet, taking care not to spill a drop of the precious coffee. ‘I don’t know what we would have done without you, Lieutenant.’

  ‘It’s Tom, Miss Lane. If you’ll take my advice you’ll get away from here as soon as you can. I can’t think that the colonel will allow his wife to suffer such privation for any length of time. Balaklava is no place for a woman.’ He left them abruptly and the canvas flap fell back into place.

  ‘He’s right,’ Ruby said sadly. ‘I’ve lost all who were dear to me. It is a terrible war.’

  ‘We’ll get through it somehow.’ Lottie gazed at the sleeping infant. ‘She deserves better than this and so do we, but I must see Gideon. I have to make sure that he is all right. I hope Lieutenant Gillingham remembers his promise to take me to him.’

  Gillingham and Aurelia returned just before dark. Their pleasure in each other’s company was obvious, and it was also apparent that they had been drinking, although neither was drunk.

  Aurelia greeted Lottie with a dazzling smile. ‘We’ve had such a wonderful day. You won’t believe how beautiful the monastery is, and in such a breath-taking setting. We dined on fish the monks had caught this morning, and we drank champagne. I haven’t enjoyed myself so much for weeks.’ She turned to Gillingham. ‘Thank you for escorting me home, Farrell. Will you stay and share the bottle of wine that Dashwood gave me?’

  He took her hand and raised it to his lips. ‘I’d better get back. It looks like rain and when it comes down it does so in torrents and the roads turn to rivers. I’ll return in the morning.’

  Lottie had been standing quietly in the corner of the hut, praying silently that he would remember his promise to take her to see Gideon. She stepped forward to take Lady Aurelia’s hat and gloves and Gillingham acknowledged her with a charming smile.

  ‘I haven’t forgotten, Miss Lane. I have my eye on a sturdy little pony that will carry you over the worst terrain, and I hope to bring it with me tomorrow morning. That’s if Lady Aurelia has no objections.’

  ‘None at all. Lottie has earned a little time to herself, and perhaps she will lose that disapproving expression if she spends an hour or two with Private Ellis.’ Aurelia blew him a kiss. ‘Off you go, Gillingham. I need my beauty sleep.’

  ‘Thank you, my lady,’ Lottie said, bobbing a curtsey. ‘Thank you, sir. I will look forward to it immensely.’

  ‘And it will be done. Good night, ladies.’ Gillingham stepped outside and disappeared into the gloom. It was starting to rain and Lottie hurried to close the door.

  Aurelia stood by the fire warming her hands. ‘Help me to undress and then you can go to your quarters, Lottie. I’m exhausted, but in a good way. I’ve had such a wonderful day.’

  ‘Did you, my lady?’ Lottie had to bite back a sharp retort. Lady Aurelia might have been feasting, but they had been existing on hard tack and bitter green coffee, and that only because of Tom Bonney’s thoughtfulness and generosity.

  ‘Yes, indeed. My husband was called away to visit one of the telegraph stations, and so Farrell and I spent the whole day together. It was sheer bliss.’

  Lottie kept her eyes downcast as she unbuttoned Aurelia’s well-cut riding habit. ‘I expect so, my lady.’

  ‘And I trust you kept yourself gainfully employed. Not that there is much for you to do here, but the good news is that we will soon be on the move. Dashwood has promised to rent a house near Kadikoi. We’ll be much more comfortable there.’ Aurelia stepped out of the habit and yawned. ‘Unlace me, and warm my nightgown by the fire. How I would love a cup of hot chocolate before I go to bed, but I suppose that is out of the question.’

  ‘It is unless you have filled your saddlebags with luxury items, my lady.’ Lottie bent down to retrieve the expensive habit from the dusty floor. No matter how many times she swept the bare boards the dust seemed to rise from the cracks and settle in a thick film.

  ‘I was told that the black woman who delivered – I mean who attended me when I was unwell on board ship – that she intends to open a store selling all manner of produce. Who knows, she might even have a stock of cocoa?’

  ‘It’s quite possible, my lady. She is the most remarkable person I have ever met.’

  ‘Possibly, but she’s not the sort of person one would invite to dinner.’ Aurelia sat on the edge of the bed and began to peel off her stockings. ‘Wake me early, Lottie. I want to be ready when Gillingham arrives. And see if you can find me something better for breakfast than that burned offering you served this morning. You may go now. Good night.’

  Lottie was up at dawn. The ground was iron hard and rimed with frost, and the hills were misty blue in the early morning light. Her breath formed clouds around her head as she went to fetch water, and she could hardly feel her fingers as she collected fuel for the campfire. Many of the tents were deserted, several units having been moved to the camp at Kadikoi, and the war seemed far away, like a bad dream from which she had just awakened. The scent of wood-smoke and the fragrance of hot coffee filled the air, and the thought of being reunited with Gideon made her pulse race. For once there was no echoing rumble of cannon fire or the fusillade of musket shots, and the world was once again a beautiful place. The horrors of disease and the suffering of the wounded soldiers were momentarily forgotten. Her buoyant mood survived even when Lady Aurelia complained about everything, from the bitterness of the coffee to the temperature of the rapidly cooling water in the enamel washbowl.

  Gillingham arrived early, bringing their mounts with him, and for once Aurelia was ready and waiting. Her temper improved the moment she saw him, and she became her old self, laughing and joking. She was moved to give Lottie one of her straw bonnets to prevent the winter sun from ruining her fair complexion, and they set off soon after sunrise following the track at the side of the newly constructed railway line. They stopped briefly to allow the horses to drink from a stream when they reached the heights, and Balaklava stretched out below them. Plumes of smoke from dozens of campfires spiralled into the atmosphere, and from this vantage point everything seemed calm and peaceful. Birds soared overhead and the scent of wild flowers and herbs filled the air. Lottie could hardly contain her excitement at the thought of being reunited with Gideon, and, despite the beauty all around her, she was eag
er to be on the move again.

  With their horses refreshed, they rode on until they came to the outskirts of the small village of Kadikoi. The entire plateau had been turned into an army camp, with regimented lines of white bell tents interspersed with wooden huts and stables. Gillingham rode ahead and came to a halt outside what appeared to be a ruin.

  ‘Wait here, if you please. I won’t be long.’ He dismounted and walked slowly towards the gaping hole where the front entrance had been blown away by cannon fire.

  ‘Private Ellis, are you there?’

  Chapter Twelve

  Lottie clutched her hands to her bosom. She could scarcely breathe and for a moment she felt as though she might faint from sheer excitement, but, even though the figure that shambled out of the near-derelict building was barely recognisable, she knew it was the man she loved with all her heart. She did not wait for Gillingham’s approval and she slid from the saddle and ran.

  ‘Gideon. I’m here. It’s me.’ The words tumbled from her lips as she raced towards him.

  Gideon had grown a shaggy beard, as had many of the soldiers Lottie had seen in Balaklava. His tangled hair hung lankly over his brow, but his hazel eyes shone like beacons in his lean face. He took a step towards her, but came to a halt, holding his hands up as if to fend off her embrace. ‘Lottie, I don’t believe it – I must be dreaming.’

  ‘I am here, Gideon. I came all this way to be with you.’

  He held her at arm’s length. ‘I’m not fit company for anyone, least of all you. I can’t remember the last time I had a bath and my uniform is filthy. I dare say I’m running with vermin, but I’m so used to them that I no longer feel their bites.’

  ‘I don’t care. It doesn’t matter to me. I just wanted to see you again.’ She turned with a start as Gillingham patted her on the shoulder. In her excitement she had almost forgotten his existence.

  ‘I’ll leave you here and come for you later, when I escort Lady Aurelia back to the barracks.’

  ‘Yes, thank you.’ Lottie was suddenly overcome with emotion. Laughter almost turned to tears of sheer relief on finding Gideon alive and well. Circumstances had forced her to hide her feelings, but now they bubbled close to the surface, threatening to overwhelm her.

  ‘You’d best stable the pony, Private,’ Gillingham added as he was about to walk away. ‘We’ve lost hundreds of animals to thieves.’

  ‘Yes, sir. I’ll see to it.’ Gideon slipped his arm around Lottie’s shoulders. ‘But first I must take care of you. Come inside, if you can bear it, my darling girl. It’s not exactly home from home, but the two of us who man this station have grown used to living in squalor.’

  ‘It doesn’t matter. I’m here now and I don’t care about anything else. We’re together again.’ Lottie followed him into the dingy building, stepping over rubble and broken glass. Fallen rafters formed archways in what must once have been the main room of the former village inn, but which was now an empty shell open to the sky.

  ‘It’s not all like this,’ Gideon said, taking her by the hand. ‘Be careful where you tread. We’ve tried to clear the floor but there are still small shards of glass stuck between the tiles.’

  ‘It must have been even colder in the depths of winter,’ she said, shivering at the thought, although in the sunshine it felt almost balmy.

  ‘Freezing is the word. That’s why there’s nothing left in here. We burned all the wood we could get hold of without actually razing what was left of the old ruin to the ground.’ He put his shoulder to a door, which hung from one rusty hinge, and it swung open to reveal a back room of similar size and shape. The ceiling was intact, apart from a few patches where the plaster had come down, but there was no glass in the window. At one end Lottie could make out a bench covered in instruments and coils of wire, tools and batteries, and at the other end a wooden ladder led up to the first floor.

  Joe Benson had been intent on his work, but he rose to greet her. ‘Miss Lane, by all that’s wonderful. Good God, Ellis, you didn’t tell me we were expecting company.’ He grinned, exposing a gap where his front teeth should have been. He raised his hand to his face with a self-conscious grin. ‘Got in the way of a bullet and fell flat on my face. It broke my leg and ruined my good looks somewhat. Anyway, I’m pleased to see you, but this ain’t the place for a lady. No, it definitely is not.’

  Gideon pulled up a chair that had been cobbled together from oddments of wood. ‘Sit down, Lottie. Would you like a mug of tea? I’m afraid the leaves have been used more than once, but it’s the best we can offer.’

  ‘Yes, thank you.’ Lottie watched him as he crossed the floor to take a battered kettle off the pot-bellied stove.

  ‘We’re more fortunate than the men living in tents.’ Gideon filled three mugs with the steaming brew. ‘They have to rely on campfires, which are all very well until the rains come down, and believe me when the heavens open we know all about it.’

  ‘The snow is worse,’ Benson added grimly. ‘You don’t want to be here in mid-winter.’

  ‘I hope the war will be over before then,’ Lottie said quickly. ‘Surely it can’t go on much longer?’

  Gideon handed her a chipped enamel mug filled with straw-coloured liquid. ‘Who knows? Anyway, let’s not talk about it now. You’re here, and it’s little short of a miracle.’

  Benson left the bench to collect his tea. ‘I’ll take your shift, Gideon. Just pretend I’m not here.’ He winked and limped back to his seat.

  ‘Thanks, I’d do the same for you, mate, but we’ll go outside. It’s a sunny day and we won’t be disturbing you.’ Gideon held his hand out to Lottie. ‘Careful how you go.’

  She did not need any further encouragement to leave the dimly lit room that smelled of unwashed bodies, lamp oil and soot. It was a relief to step into the sunshine and breathe the sweet fresh air. ‘On a day like this it’s hard to believe that there’s a war raging not far from here.’

  ‘It’s quiet at the moment, but it won’t last.’ Gideon led her to an old wooden settle, which had been placed against what remained of the kitchen wall. He took the mug from her and set it down. ‘I can’t believe that you’re here, Lottie. It seems too good to be true.’

  She slid her arms around his neck and closed her eyes. His beard and moustache tickled, but his kiss still had the power to make her forget everything other than her desperate need for him. He was the first to draw away. ‘I’m sorry, my darling. I’m not in a fit state to be near you.’

  She caressed his cheek with her fingertips. ‘I don’t care. Nothing matters now that we’re together again and I know you are safe.’

  ‘I’ll make it up to you when this is all over.’ He sat on the bench and pulled her down beside him. ‘When the time is right I’m going to propose to you in style, Lottie Lane. I’ll take you to the finest restaurant in London and ply you with champagne.’

  She picked up her mug and raised it to him in a toast. ‘I’ll drink to that, Gideon.’ She sipped the tea. It was tasteless, but it was warm and she was thirsty. ‘It seems very quiet today. Normally we can hear the cannons and gunfire, but at least I know now that you aren’t involved in the fighting.’

  ‘Sometimes I wish we were,’ Gideon said, sighing. ‘We have to man the telegraph day and night, but we’ve been stuck here for months and seen very little progress. I know what we do is important, but it doesn’t feel as though we are doing our bit. We’re soldiers first and foremost.’

  ‘Don’t talk like that. I want you to come home safe and sound. I’ve seen the terrible injuries the men suffer, and I’m glad that you’re here and not on the front line.’ She moved closer. ‘I love you, and I can’t bear to think of you getting hurt or even worse.’

  He took the mug from her and tossed it aside as he took her in his arms. ‘You’re even more beautiful than I remembered, Lottie. I was beginning to think I would never see you again, and yet here you are. I can hardly believe it.’

  She slid her hands beneath his open jacket, and s
he could feel his heart beating in time to hers. Closing her eyes, she gave herself up to the sweet sensations of a passionate embrace when the world about them ceased to exist. She only dimly heard the shout from within the building, but Gideon was suddenly alert.

  ‘Wait here. I’m sorry. I have to attend to this.’ He hurried indoors and she was left on her own.

  She blinked and raised her hand, touching her bruised lips with the tips of her fingers. The imprint of his kiss still lingered, but she had the feeling that their joyful reunion was at an end. Her fears were confirmed by Gideon’s downcast expression when he reappeared.

  ‘I’m so sorry, my darling girl. We usually have an orderly from one of the infantry regiments to do the running, but our chap hasn’t turned up and this is urgent. I’ll have to deliver a message because Benson isn’t fit enough.’

  ‘But you’ll be back soon, won’t you?’

  ‘I’ll be as quick as I can, but I have to find the officer concerned as the message is for his ears only, so it might take some time.’

  ‘I’ll be waiting for you, Gideon. I don’t expect Gillingham to return until early evening, and there’s so much I have to tell you.’

  ‘And I you, sweetheart.’ Gideon buttoned his uniform jacket and kissed her briefly on the lips. ‘This is damnable bad luck.’ He rammed his cap on his head, blew her a kiss and hurried on his way.

  Tears of disappointment welled in Lottie’s eyes, but she was determined not to cry. There was little she could do other than await his return. She sat on the wooden seat staring into the distance where the grassy plateau ended in a ridge of steep hills.

  ‘Lottie, wake up.’

  She opened her eyes and found herself looking up at Lady Aurelia. ‘Is it time to go already?’

  ‘Yes, come along, you’re holding us up. We’re leaving right away.’

  Lottie stood up, wide wake now. ‘But I can’t leave without saying goodbye to Gideon.’

  ‘Well, he seems to have abandoned you, so I wouldn’t worry too much about him,’ Aurelia said cheerfully. ‘Where is your lover, anyway?’