The Swan Maid

by Dilly Court

  ‘I’m so sorry.’ Lottie laid her hand on the woman’s shoulder. ‘My name is Lottie Lane and I’m Lady Aurelia Dashwood’s maidservant.’

  ‘I’m Ruby Wagg, and I’m waiting to be repatriated along with the other widows.’ She rubbed her cheek against Molly’s downy head. ‘What’s her name?’

  ‘Molly. I named her for my mother, who died when I was a child.’

  ‘My little one was called Iris. I was told it means rainbow.’ Ruby shifted Molly to her other shoulder. ‘I miss her so much, and I’m hoping my milk will dry up soon. I feel like one of them cows in yonder field.’

  Lottie picked up the tin mug filled with rapidly cooling tea and took a sip. ‘My mistress has taken an interest in the child’s welfare and has asked me to find a wet nurse for Molly. Would you be willing to undertake such a task?’

  Chapter Eleven

  Lottie found Lady Aurelia where she had left her in the large reception room. Lieutenant Bonney was hovering in the background, but there was no sign of Mrs Fothergill or Cole, and Aurelia was visibly annoyed.

  ‘Might I speak to you in private, my lady?’ Lottie shot a wary glance at Lieutenant Bonney.

  He smiled and inclined his head. ‘I’ll be in the next room, should you need me, Lady Aurelia. I’ll check to see if we’ve received an answer to the telegraph I sent to the monastery.’ He hurried off, leaving them alone in the echoing room.

  ‘Well, what is it?’ Aurelia demanded irritably. ‘What have you done with the child?’

  ‘That’s what I came to tell you, my lady. It just so happens that I came across a soldier’s widow, Mrs Wagg, who has only recently lost both her husband and her baby. She is suckling your – I mean, the – infant as we speak, and glad to do so.’

  Aurelia pulled a face. ‘I understand how she feels. I myself am in considerable discomfort but the dark-skinned woman assured me that it will pass.’

  ‘We were fortunate that Mrs Seacole was on board, my lady. I wouldn’t have known what to do had she not been at hand.’

  ‘Never mind that now. We won’t speak of this again.’

  ‘But the child needs a wet nurse, my lady. I know it’s not my place to tell you what to do, but—’

  ‘It most certainly is not. Tell the woman she can keep the infant and take it back to England. I’m giving it to her.’

  Lottie took a deep breath. She could hardly tell Lady Aurelia that she was behaving like a spoiled brat, but her patience was wearing thin. ‘She is a poor widow, recently bereaved. What sort of life could she offer little Molly?’

  ‘I don’t want to talk about it now, or ever.’

  Lottie chose to ignore this petulant remark. Perhaps her ladyship was still suffering the aftereffects of the birth. She had heard Ruth and May chattering on about such matters, although it had gone over her head at the time. ‘On a practical note, my lady, we need someone to cook for us, so perhaps you could employ Mrs Wagg and she can take care of the infant until we return home.’

  ‘I suppose so,’ Aurelia said carelessly.

  ‘What shall I tell Ruby?’

  ‘Ruby?’ Aurelia raised a delicate eyebrow.

  ‘Her name is Ruby Wagg, and she is taking care of Molly as we speak.’

  ‘You may bring her to me. I’ll decide whether or not to take her on. She will have to be sworn to secrecy, of course.’

  ‘I’m sure we can trust her,’ Lottie said confidently. ‘But we need to find shelter before nightfall. Have we been assigned a billet, my lady?’

  Aurelia stared out of the window overlooking a row of wooden huts and a forest of bell tents. ‘Apparently we are to have one of those huts, which are little better than Lady Petunia’s pigsty.’

  ‘Will the colonel be expected to camp there too?’

  ‘Certainly not. My husband is comfortably ensconced in the Monastery of St George, high on the cliffs with a splendid view of the sea, so Tom Bonney tells me. I am not happy, and I shall tell Dashwood so when I see him.’

  Lottie knew better than to press the point. At least Molly was safe for the time being.

  Colonel Dashwood did not arrive until early evening. He breezed into the hut as if he were returning home after a day’s hunting expedition. He looked surprisingly well and had lost weight during his time in the Crimea. If he was pleased to see his wife it did not appear to be mutual.

  Lottie was kneeling in front of the stone fireplace, trying to encourage the feeble flames licking round damp logs, but she rose hastily to her feet. ‘Should I leave this for now, my lady?’

  Aurelia turned her head away as her husband attempted to kiss her cheek. ‘No, stay, Lottie. It’s so cold in here that I can’t feel my fingers and toes.’ She shot a sideways glance at her husband. ‘I suppose you have a cosy room in the monastery, Dashwood. Are you going to leave me here to die of cold and hunger?’

  ‘Come, come, my love. You’ve been campaigning before. You knew what you were going to face.’

  ‘I don’t see why I have to live here when you have a comfortable billet,’ Aurelia said sulkily. ‘What sort of welcome is this, husband?’

  ‘It’s only temporary, Aurelia. But you cannot expect to be housed in the monastery. Women are not permitted to enter the living quarters, and it’s far from cosy. You will be better off here until a house becomes available, though that is by no means certain.’ His brow creased in a worried frown. ‘This isn’t like you, my dear. Are you unwell?’

  She moved towards the fire, turning her back on him. ‘I am quite well, thank you, Dashwood. It’s been a long and tedious journey.’

  ‘Of course it has, and you must be exhausted and in need of a good rest. We’ve been invited to dine with the major-general and Mrs Fothergill this evening. Tomorrow I’ll ask Gillingham to procure a suitable mount for you and we’ll ride up to the monastery so that you can view it for yourself. Visitors are welcome.’

  ‘Is Gillingham billeted with you, Dashwood?’ Aurelia asked casually.

  ‘He is, my dear. I know I can rely on Farrell. Anyway, you’ll see him tomorrow.’ Colonel Dashwood shot a mischievous glance in Lottie’s direction. ‘There will be no secret assignations, miss. People sometimes behave differently in times like these, but I hope you will remember that your loyalty is to your mistress.’

  Lottie bobbed a curtsey. ‘Yes, Colonel.’ She kept her eyes lowered. The memory of the humiliating scene in Chatham, when she had shouldered the blame for Lady Aurelia’s ill-considered attempt to spend the evening with Gillingham, still lingered.

  ‘You may unpack one of my evening gowns, Lane,’ Aurelia said sharply. ‘I see no reason to allow standards to slip merely because we are in this godforsaken wreck of a town.’

  ‘Quite right, my love,’ Colonel Dashwood said cheerfully. ‘But when the sun shines and you ride out into the countryside I think you will find that there is some spectacular scenery, and I’m told that when the warmer weather comes the valleys are carpeted with wild flowers.’

  ‘It’s hard to believe, from what I’ve seen so far,’ Aurelia said, shuddering. ‘Now you must allow me to get dressed for dinner. There is barely room for myself and my maid, and absolutely no privacy.’

  ‘Of course, my love. I’ll leave you now, but I’ll be back in an hour or so.’ Colonel Dashwood paused in the doorway. ‘By the way, I’m taking Hansford with me. There’s little point him kicking his heels in Balaklava when he can be of more use as my batman. It will be like old times.’

  ‘Yes, of course. Do as you please, Dashwood. I have no need of him at present.’

  ‘Quite so. I’ll say au revoir, my love.’ He left the hut, closing the door behind him.

  Aurelia sank down on the roughly constructed wooden bed. ‘Is the child safely out of sight, Lottie?’

  ‘Yes, my lady. Ruby and I have been allocated a bell tent not far from here. We’ll take good care of Molly.’

  ‘I wish you wouldn’t call the infant by name. Refer to her as “Ruby’s child” from now on, otherwise I can
see you making a terrible mistake.’

  ‘I’m afraid it’s too late for that, your ladyship,’ Lottie said hastily. ‘Everyone in camp knows that Ruby’s baby died, and I told Lieutenant Bonney that you rescued the child from an uncertain fate in Constantinople.’

  ‘Did you now?’ Aurelia’s frown was replaced by a smug smile. ‘That’s even better. It makes me out to be a benefactress, and I can place the child in an orphan-age when we return to England. Well done, Lottie.’

  It was bitterly cold in the tent and Lottie slept back to back with Ruby on a straw-filled palliasse. Molly awakened every two or three hours and Ruby suckled her, still half asleep, and then passed the small bundle to Lottie, who cradled her in her arms.

  Next morning the ground outside sparkled with a hard frost and it seemed that winter had not yet lost its grip on the Crimean peninsula. Lottie was up early to light the fire in Lady Aurelia’s hut. She drew water from the communal pump, acknowledging the salacious remarks from bleary-eyed, unshaven soldiers with a nod and a smile. She had grown used to handling such men while working at The Swan, and she felt pity for them in their dire living conditions. Without exception they looked half-starved, filthy and no doubt lice ridden. She made her way back to the hut, passing Ruby, who was outside their tent with Molly tied to her in a makeshift sling. She had made a campfire surrounded by stones over which she baked a rough kind of flatbread.

  ‘Can you spare some for my lady?’ Lottie had to raise her voice to make herself heard over the clatter of booted feet on the frozen mud and the sound of the bugle call.

  ‘It’s not what she’s been used to,’ Ruby said, frowning. ‘No doubt she’s as fussy about her food as she is about her looks.’

  Lottie tucked a slab of hot bread into her apron pocket. ‘If she’s hungry, she’ll eat anything. Thanks, Ruby.’ She walked back to the hut to make breakfast for her mistress.

  Eaten warm with a cup of sweet tea, the bread made a reasonable meal, although it did not tempt Lady Aurelia’s delicate appetite. She sipped her hot drink and refused to get out of bed until the temperature in the hut rose to a little above freezing.

  ‘I’ve lost my appetite for campaigning,’ she said bitterly. ‘I used to enjoy the challenge and nothing bothered me, but I’m beginning to think that this was a terrible mistake.’

  ‘Well, we’re here now, my lady.’ Lottie laid out Aurelia’s merino-wool riding habit. ‘You’re still getting over the birth. I’ve heard women say it takes almost a year to get back to normal.’

  ‘Heaven help me,’ Aurelia said with a touch of her old spirit.

  Gillingham arrived an hour later. He rode up to the hut leading a sturdy grey mare and announced his presence with a loud ‘View halloo,’ as if he were on the hunting field.

  Aurelia leaped to her feet and ran to open the door. ‘I might have guessed it was you, Gillingham,’ she said, laughing. ‘What a rowdy fellow you are, to be sure.’

  He dismounted. ‘Good morning, Lady Aurelia.’

  ‘It’s good to see you again, Lieutenant.’

  He kissed her hand, holding it longer than was strictly necessary. ‘I hope your billet is satisfactory, my lady?’

  ‘As a matter of fact it is totally unacceptable that I am confined to a shed, while you and the colonel live in luxury at the monastery.’

  ‘It isn’t like that, my lady. You will see for yourself what monastic life is like and I think you might think you have the best of the bargain.’ Gillingham turned to Lottie and smiled. ‘There is someone who will be very pleased to know that you are here, Miss Lane.’

  ‘Is Private Ellis stationed nearby, sir?’ Lottie asked eagerly.

  ‘He’s only a few miles away. If I can procure a mount for you I would be pleased to take you there.’

  ‘Never mind that now, Farrell,’ Aurelia said without giving Lottie a chance to respond. ‘You’re here to escort me to the monastery. I’m impatient to get away from this dreary place and I want to see something of the countryside.’ She hitched up the skirt of her riding habit and stepped outside. ‘You’ll have to help me into the saddle.’

  ‘Of course, my lady.’ Gillingham put his hands around her tightly corseted waist and lifted her into the saddle. He handed her the reins before mounting his horse.

  ‘We’ll ride slowly, Farrell,’ Aurelia said with an arch smile. ‘I don’t care if it takes all day to reach the wretched monastery.’

  Lottie watched them ride away with a feeling of foreboding. It was obvious that their feelings for each other were unchanged, but their affair would almost certainly bring heartache and disgrace. However, that was not her problem, and, safe in the knowledge that she would see Gideon again soon, she set about the task of tidying up the hut. Having satisfied herself that she could do no more, she went to find Ruby.

  She was in the tent with Molly at her breast. ‘Oh, it’s you, Lottie,’ Ruby said nervously. ‘I don’t know what to say to people if they ask me about the baby. Everyone here knows that I lost my child, so I can’t pretend that Molly is mine.’

  ‘I told Lieutenant Bonney that Molly’s mother was trying to sell her to the highest bidder in Constantinople, and Lady Aurelia took pity on the poor little thing. No one must discover the truth, especially the colonel.’

  ‘I understand.’ Ruby shifted the baby to her other breast. ‘But the poor mite must have proper clothing, and we need cloth to make nappies for her.’

  ‘I know nothing about babies,’ Lottie said, shaking her head. ‘Mrs Seacole helped me to make that tiny garment, but what else does she need?’

  ‘Flannel is the best material to use. She’ll need a little shirt, like the one I made for Iris, and a barracoat to go over the top. Then there’s the petticoat and a dress.’

  ‘That seems a lot of clothes for a tiny little thing like Molly.’

  ‘The undergarments are the most important, and she needs one set for the day and another for night-time. She must have a cap to keep her head warm, and she should by rights have a warm cape, but the shawl will do for now. It’s flannel we need, Lottie. And some fine cotton for the petticoat, and diaper cloth for the nappies.’

  ‘You seem to know a great deal about these things, Ruby.’

  ‘I should do. I was employed as a nursemaid in a big house up West before I married Fletcher. If I’d stayed on I might have worked my way up to being a nanny, but I fell in love.’ Ruby sighed and hitched Molly over her shoulder, patting the tiny back until the baby emitted a satisfactory burp. ‘Now I’ve lost everything.’

  ‘I’m so sorry. You’ve had a terrible time. I’ll do anything I can to help you.’

  ‘When I get back to England I’ve been told I’ll have to apply to the Patriotic Fund for money, but at the moment I can’t even afford to buy food.’

  ‘Don’t worry on that score. Lady Aurelia will pay you to cook for us as well as providing for the baby. She has a kind heart.’

  Ruby’s eyes brightened. ‘She has, and I love Molly already. She isn’t my little Iris, but we need each other and that is something of a comfort.’

  Lottie smiled. ‘We’ll look after her together, and as far as the cloth is concerned, there is only one person I can ask, and I happen to have a few hours free.’

  With Molly’s desperate need for clothing on her mind, Lottie made her way to the harbour, negotiating the dirt roads with her skirts bunched up to prevent them trailing in the mud. The stench from the rotting animal carcasses and overflowing latrines was nauseating, and she found herself caught up in a long procession of wounded soldiers who were making their way painfully towards the wharf. Some could walk unaided, but others, having lost limbs, were carried on stretchers. Their uniforms were filthy and alive with fleas and lice. The smell of putrefaction from their bloodied dressings was even harder to bear than the foul odours from the docks, and she covered her mouth and nose, keeping her eyes averted when possible. It was a nightmare scenario, made worse by the dark cumulus clouds that squatted on top of the surroundi
ng hills, and the steady drizzle that soaked through clothes in seconds and made them cling damply to the skin.

  As luck would have it, when Lottie reached the wharf she found Mrs Seacole brewing tea for the soldiers while they waited to be helped onto the boats.

  ‘Well then, I didn’t expect to see you again, child,’ Mary said, grinning. ‘I thought they would find you a comfortable billet in the officers’ quarters.’

  ‘Not exactly.’ Lottie stepped aside to allow a one-armed soldier to reach out for a mug of hot tea.

  Mary hefted the large Brown Betty teapot and filled a tin mug. ‘Would you like sugar in your tea, my darling?’

  The soldier nodded and she added a lump, stirring it vigorously.

  ‘Ta, Mother Seacole.’ With an attempt at a grin, he ambled off to join the bedraggled line of men on the quayside.

  ‘Mother Seacole, d’you remember me?’ The next man in the queue was younger and had all his limbs, but had sustained a terrible injury to one side of his face, which was barely concealed beneath a grubby bandage. ‘You tended me in Kingston when I near died of the cholera.’

  She put her head on one side, studying him intently. ‘It’s never little Bertie, the drummer boy?’

  ‘It most certainly is, Mother. I’m a corporal now, or I was until I near got half my face blowed off in the Redan.’

  ‘I’m truly sorry, Bertie. But you was always a brave boy and I can see that you’re a brave man. Are you off to Scutari now?’

  ‘Yes, ma’am.’

  ‘I know Miss Nightingale personally, and she’ll take good care of you. Tell her Mrs Seacole sends her regards, and take care of yourself, sweet-heart.’

  ‘I will, Mother Seacole.’ Bertie took the tea from her. ‘God bless you.’

  Lottie dashed tears from her eyes as she watched him move slowly away. ‘I don’t know how you keep so cheerful, Mrs Seacole. Doesn’t it break your heart to see these poor men suffering so?’

  ‘It does, but if I can bring them a little comfort then it’s worth every tear I shed in private.’ Mary handed out another mug of tea. ‘Now, young lady, what can I do for you?’