Lovestrong

by Nikki Groom

  “Nope. I’m gonna surprise them. Ari will squeal so loud that I’m sure you’ll hear her from here.” I grin.

  Torr glances over at me before looking back to the road. “I’m gonna miss your crazy arse around the studio.” He gives a small smile and holds out his hand to the side for me to take. As I place my hand in his, he closes his fingers around mine and brings them up to his lips, kissing the back of my knuckles softly.

  “I’m gonna miss you too, Torr,” I sigh and turn my head to look out of the window. If I look at him, I know I’m going to cry.

  He holds my hand all the way to the airport, and only lets go when we pull up at the drop-off point. He grabs my case out of the trunk and stands in front of me on the sidewalk. “You want me to park up and come in with you?”

  “Nah, it’s okay. I’ll check in and get something to eat before I board.” I take a deep breath, knowing what’s coming next. I hate goodbyes. “Well …”

  “Well,” Torr whispers back, opening his arms to me. I practically jump the two paces between us and wrap my arms around his waist, burying my head into his warm chest and breathing him in for what I’m pretty sure will be the last time. He rests his cheek on the top of my head before saying, “God, I’m going to miss you.”

  “I know.” I pull back from his chest and look up at his glistening eyes. “I’m going to miss you, too. Thanks for everything, Torr. You’ve been a great friend.”

  “I’m good at being a good friend.” He shuffles his feet, and lets out a heavy sigh.

  “Hey.” I place my hand on his cheek and position myself so he has to look into my eyes. “Your happily ever after is out there somewhere. I don’t even know if I will have mine, yet. But remember that everything happens for a reason. Maybe you need to start wishing on shooting stars.” I offer him a smile, and he nods slowly before smiling back at me.

  “Okay.” He breathes deep before taking my hand in his. “I gotta go. You sure you’re going to be okay from here?”

  “Sure thing, tiger,” I chirp.

  “Tiger?”

  I shrug and wince. “It seemed like a tiger moment.”

  “Get outta here.” He shoves my shoulder playfully and I smack his arm with the back of my hand.

  “I’m going,” I say, but I hesitate to move.

  “I’ll miss you,” he whispers, his eyes glassing over. He places his palm to my cheek and moves in slowly to press his lips to mine. My eyes close, and I savor every second of him without guilt or regret. It’s a tender goodbye, one I’ll always remember. “Goodbye, firebird,” he speaks quietly against my lips. Then he turns and leaves, glancing back only as he opens his car door to give me a wink before driving off and leaving me to go home.

  Chapter 17

  I finish up a therapy session with Dan that went really well. I’m beginning to feel a little more positive every day. This can be attributed to many different things. One of them, surprisingly, is Ben. He’s so innocent, yet full of life and hope, and it made me realize that I could at least try harder and not wallow in the depths of self-pity that I had grown used to. I know he didn’t want a new wheelchair, and I didn’t want to make him feel like I didn’t believe he would walk again, so D and I arranged to have five brand new wheelchairs delivered to the therapy center as a donation. The thought of someone needing one and not being able to have it ate away at my conscience and made me realize that while I might not be lucky to have had the accident in the first place, I had the luxury of money that could buy comfort and make my life easier.

  “Spike!” Ben calls out as I’m leaving the therapy room. I turn around to see him click his new chair forward with ease, his little arms not having to struggle and fight with wheels half the size of him. If I could grab him up out of that chair and swing him around, I would. But we stop our chairs in front of each other and bump fists, which has become our new greeting.

  “What do you think?” he asks with a smile stretching across his chubby little freckled cheeks. He pulls the chair back and spins it in a circle.

  “Wow! Those are smart wheels you have there, dude.” I’m overwhelmed with happiness that I can make just a small difference to this little boy’s life.

  “Yeah. The center had a donation and they offered one to me. I won’t need it for long though,” he insists sternly with a frown.

  “Of course you won’t, buddy. But it’ll give those arms of yours a little rest,” I tell him with a smile. He’s tenacious. Actually, he’s like a little version of Lottie.

  “When I’ve finished with it, I’m going to polish it and give it to another kid to use.”

  “I think that sounds like an awesome idea.” I swallow the hard lump in my throat. Kindness knows no bounds, and this kid has it in heaps. I don’t actually think he realizes how much he’s taught me since that day he walked just six small steps. For someone in a wheelchair, that’s like walking on the moon.

  “Will you be here again tomorrow, Spike?”

  “Yep, you bet! Those legs of yours feeling strong, soldier?”

  “Yes, sir. I did eight steps yesterday and mom said because I ate all my dinner last night, and three pancakes this morning, that I should have enough energy to do the ten that I’m aiming for today. Will you stay and watch?”

  “Of course,” I answer without hesitation. “Of course I will stay and watch.” I have no firm plans today anyway, and even if I did, I would cancel them for Ben.

  I daydream out of the window as Denham drives us home from the therapy center. Seeing Ben with new wheels, knowing D and I have made a difference to not only his life, but others too, fills me with immense satisfaction and pride. We’ve spoken about setting up a charity for underprivileged children to get them equipment and provide therapy sessions that they need to help them live as fulfilled lives as possible. Not only does it feel great to be doing something for others, it’s a focus that I need to push me out of bed when I’m having a bad day.

  “Mom and Ari are doing lunch across the hall for Tara in a couple of hours, you coming?” D asks.

  “Of course,” I answer easily. It’s becoming easier for me to say yes to social arrangements than it was before, especially if it’s just across the hall.

  “Okay,” he mutters distractedly, turning to leave but not actually going anywhere. He’s been deep in thought and hasn’t lost the deep crease in the center of his forehead since Tara announced she was leaving on her road trip.

  “You okay, bro?” I ask as he pulls in to the parking lot of the hotel. “You’ve been quiet since yesterday.”

  “No, I’m not fucking okay,” he mutters, pulling into his space and cutting the engine. “She’s twenty-four years old, Spike. How the fuck am I supposed to look after her if she’s biking down the coast? What if she falls off, huh? What if she knocks herself unconscious?”

  “D…” I try to halt him, but he’s on a roll.

  “What if some slimy bastard targets her because she’s solo? Oh, god. She could get raped or something.”

  “D!” I call out a little louder.

  “We won’t be able to help her, Spike,” he snaps, clearly struggling with his thoughts.

  “D, will you just breathe for fuck’s sake, you said it yourself, but you need to look at it from a different angle. She’s twenty-four years old. What were you doing at twenty-four, huh?”

  “I was pretty much running this place,” he answers, scraping a hand across his mouth in agitation.

  “Exactly. She’s not a stupid kid. Yes, she’s got herself into a few situations. Yes, she’s made some poor choices, but that’s no different than you or I. Let her find her way. She’s smarter and tougher than you think. Or than you want to think.”

  “I just−”

  “She doesn’t need us watching her back every minute of the day, bro. We’ve all taught her to be the kickass, headstrong, beautiful girl that she is. Trust in that, trust in her and let her make her own choices,” I finish what turned out to be a bit of a speech, and D doesn’t answ
er right away, which means that he’s thinking over what I’ve said. That doesn’t happen often.

  He sits with his body turned toward me and his elbow resting on the steering wheel. “You know I hate it when you’re right.”

  “I know,” I grin.

  “You know I hate it when you verbalize how right you are?” He raises one brow at me in annoyance.

  “I know that too. Just chill out, D. She’ll be fine. We’ll all be fine. Just look after you and your girl. The rest will follow, okay?”

  “Did someone put positivity pills in your coffee this week?”

  I laugh because for the last few months it’s been Denham giving me the pep talk and me having to listen to his words of wisdom and encouraging advice. “Something like that.” Something like Lottie.

  “Not that I’m complaining, bro. It’s fucking great to see a smile on your face. What changed?”

  I take a deep breath. The Kings are a stubborn lot and it’s hard for me to admit when I’m wrong. But I was wrong about a lot of things and I’m putting the wheels in motion to change that.

  “Me. I’ve changed. I know, it took long enough. I also know I can’t take back some of the things I’ve said or done, but I’m going to do my absolute best to make it right.”

  Denham cups his great big palm affectionately against the side of my face, making me look at him. “I’m fucking proud of you, Spike. Really fucking proud. We’ll be okay. All of us. It’ll work out.”

  “I know it will. Thanks, D.” I nod, swallowing hard.

  “Okay.” He straightens up, man moment over. “I better get back to helping. Ari has a list of things for me to get ready. I swear she thinks she’s hosting a lunch for the fucking President.”

  “Good luck with that.”

  “Gonna fucking need it,” he mumbles, jumping out of the car to come around to my side.

  “Oh, D?” I call after him and he turns back to me. “Thanks.”

  He acknowledges me with a salute. “Let’s get to it.” He rolls his eyes and shakes his head, but he can’t hide the love and devotion he feels for Arianna. Dude is so whipped, and he loves it. Seeing him happy is something I never thought I would see. He was so set on running this place and watching over us as a family that he never gave himself the time to build a life and a future for himself. But it all changed when he met Arianna. He’s happy to loosen the reins on this place. He’s happy looking forward to a future with the love of his life and I know that’s what I want, too. I’m not sure if Lottie will forgive me or if I pushed away too far. But I can’t imagine my future with anyone else and if I’ve learned anything from the kids at the therapy place, it’s that you have to be made of stronger stuff and when you think you’re done, you’re not. There’s always more to give, always more to fight for.

  When I’m back in my apartment, I grab an iced coffee and wheel out to my favorite spot on the balcony, looking over the strip. The sun is hot on my skin and I tilt my head up to the sky. A plane flies over, one of many that fly over Las Vegas.

  I grab my cell and take a photo of the beautiful sharp blue sky, broken up only by cotton white clouds and the trail that the plane leave behind. Impulsively, I open the picture in a message to Lottie.

  We see the same sky xx

  “Okay! Now that I have you all here, I want to say a few words,” Denham announces, tapping a knife on his wine glass. Arianna and Mom have gone over and above just a simple dinner, and I know my mom is loving having another girl around the place that she can be extravagant with.

  “I know the last few months haven’t been easy, we’ve all had a pretty rough time of it and it’s nice for once that we can come together for something happy, I think. Although it scares the crap out of me, and I think I might need Valium for the next week,” Denham says with a laugh before turning his attention to Tara. “I’m unbelievably proud of you, little sis. I can’t even imagine how quiet it’s going to be without you here.” He swallows noisily, taking a deep breath before he can continue, “Actually. I can imagine. It’s gonna be bliss, right, Ari?” The table erupts with much needed, lighthearted laughter. “I also think my wallet might be fuller for longer.” Arianna raises a brow at him at this comment. “Hmmm, maybe not. Anyway, I just want to say I’m so proud of you for being so fearless and independent and I want to remind you that you’re not invincible, but you are pretty remarkable. I want you to promise that you will call me if you need anything, anything at all, yes?”

  “I will, thanks, D.” Tara jumps out of her seat and flings her arms around his neck. He holds her tight as if he doesn’t want to let her go and I think this is harder on him than any of us. They might bicker and have differing opinions at every turn, but they’re also really close. D not only sees her as a sister but he takes the place of her father figure too. Tara makes her way around the table, and everyone stands to give her a hug. It’s one of the times where I would give everything to stand up and hug her properly, but I’m beginning to accept that instead of not being able to hug her at all, we just have to do it differently.

  “I’m going to miss your face around here,” I sigh when she comes to stand in front of me. She takes my hands in hers and smiles down at me.

  “I won’t be gone for long. A month, maybe two, depending on how things go along the way.”

  “I know. I just want you back here safe. That’s all that matters, okay?”

  “Okay.” She leans down and hugs me, holding on extra tight. “Take care of you.”

  “A toast,” Denham calls and Tara kisses me on the cheek before jumping up and passing me a glass of champagne. “To Tara.”

  “To Tara,” everyone cheers and raises their glasses.

  “Can I say something?” I ask, and the table falls silent. I grin at the fact that everyone stares at me in disbelief. “I know this isn’t the first family dinner we’ve had since… well, since everything changed. But I feel like this is the first time we’ve had a family dinner that I actually feel like I’m here. I know that sounds weird and I’m hoping you’re all going to be able to read between the lines and hear what I’m saying, but …”

  The door swings open, interrupting my speech and drawing everyone’s attention as it bangs and reaches full extension, nearly wrenching it off its hinges.

  Arianna squeals, and Tara screams so loud my eardrums feel like they’re going to burst.

  My heart jolts. An electric current passes through it and it feels like it has just started beating a rhythm that’s no longer foreign to me.

  “Lottie!” Tara and Ari call as they run to the door and sweep her off her feet. I wish it could be me sweeping her off her feet. I’m reminded of yet another thing that I will never be able to do for her, but the happiness of having her in such close proximity after what feels like an eternity overrides the self-pity I’ve grown to accept as normal. She’s here. Not more than a second or two away from me. There’s no room for ‘what ifs’ or ‘I wish’. I’m learning that the only way things will happen for me and Lottie is if I make it happen.

  The girls babble incoherently and Mom goes over to join them, giving Lottie a kiss on the cheek and joining in the group hug.

  “Did you know she was coming back today?” Denham asks, placing his hand on my shoulder.

  “No. Can’t say I’m sorry though,” I answer without taking my eyes off her. I don’t want to look away for fear that it’s not real and she’ll vanish before I get the chance to touch her. I think there was a part of me that believed she may never come back. I was terrified that she would fall in love with a rich, successful British guy and never look back. I couldn’t have blamed her if she did. Even though it would have broken my heart beyond repair.

  Denham gives my shoulder a squeeze before walking over to the girls and breaking up the hug to get in there himself. He whispers in her ear and she glances over to me. I’m the only one that hasn’t moved yet. The only one on this side of the room. She drops her purse from her shoulder and meets my eyes. Everyone else falls
silent, watching us. Waiting for what will happen next. Lottie walks forward slowly, not dropping her gaze. Her eyes twinkle. Her lips twitch. And when she’s just one step away from me, she stops. Her lips part and she takes a shaky breath.

  I don’t know what to do or say now that she’s right in front of me. So I just hold out my hand and she places hers in mine without any hesitation. It feels like slipping between silk sheets. Perfect, and right, and everything I want it to be.

  “Hi,” I whisper.

  “Hi, to you, too,” she replies with a smirk tugging the corner of her beautiful, soft lips.

  I tug her hand and she squeals, “Spike!” as she falls in to my lap. Hearing her say my name solidifies every thought I’ve had over the last few weeks. I quickly wrap both arms around her and secure her in place. I’m never going to let her go. I have no intention of letting her back away from me now.

  “I’m going to hurt you!” she cries, laughing and wriggling to shift her weight off me.

  “No, you’re not. Just let me hold you, Lottie.” I tighten my grip around her tiny frame and breathe her in. “Let me see you for just a minute. It’s been so long. Too long,” I whisper and she settles, looking into my eyes.

  I study her face. Her freckles are the same. Her eyes, framed with long lashes, sparkle and shine like diamonds under the brightest sky. I place my hand on the side of her face, my thumb resting on the soft skin of her cheek.

  “I’ve missed you,” I breathe out. “God, have I missed you, Lottie.”

  I want to laugh. I want to cry, and most of all I want to kiss her like her life depends on it and never let her go.

  “I missed you too,” she says softly, her arms settling around my neck. “So much.”

  The rest of the world falls away to insignificance and it’s just me and her, like it always was. When I have her in my arms like this, the world is right again and anything seems possible. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.