Woman at Willagong Creek

by Hart, Jessica

  For a moment they just stared at each other, both breathing unevenly, then Olivia pushed the hair away from her face with a shaking hand. ‘Don’t you ever touch me again!’ she spat at him.

  ‘Don’t worry, I won’t! The Englishman’s welcome to you and your sophisticated technique, Olivia!’ He turned on his heel and walked out, banging the door shut behind him.

  At first Olivia couldn’t move. She stood rigid, with the shelves digging into her back, and tried to stop shaking. She hated him for the way he had reduced her so easily to writhing desire in his arms, hated herself more for having so little self-control. How could she have responded like that when he had said all those terrible things to her?

  She bent to pick up the rock that had fallen off the shelf. It was dull and brown, hardly a collector’s item. No wonder it had appealed to Guy, she thought bitterly. He didn’t like anything different or colourful or exotic, did he?

  I wish I’d never agreed to marry you.

  Her face screwed up with the effort of not crying, she flung the rock out of the window. She only wished she could do the same thing to Guy Richardson!

  When she finally emerged from the room, only the glitter in her green eyes gave any indication of the emotions seething inside her. If she had ever thought that Guy might come to love her, she knew better now. He despised her, and the only thing she had to cling on to now was pride. She would show him she didn’t care!

  There was a momentary silence as she stepped out on to the brightly lit veranda. She wore a clinging sleeveless dress in a stunning, simple black which emphasised the honey-coloured warmth of her skin and her slender figure. The short hemline, cut just above her knees, made her legs look longer and slimmer than ever. The effect, with her dramatic turquoise eyes and glinting hair, was dramatic.

  Across the veranda, Olivia met Guy’s eyes. She gave him a smile of pure provocation before turning deliberately to walk towards James, who was watching her approach with frank admiration.

  ‘You look stunning!’ he told her.

  ‘Thank you, James.’ Olivia’s eyes flickered towards Guy. He wasn’t even watching her! She turned abruptly back to James. ‘James, can I ask you a favour?’

  ‘Anything!’

  ‘You mentioned you were driving to Townsville tomorrow … could I have a lift?’

  ‘Of course.’ James paused delicately. ‘But won’t Guy …?’

  Olivia gave him a bright, innocent smile. ‘He has to get back to Willagong Creek, and they’re far too busy to take me shopping at the moment. I thought it might be a good opportunity to go with you, then I can get a bus back or something.’ She had no real plan in mind, other than to show Guy that he couldn’t speak to her like that and expect her to go home as if nothing had happened, but there was no reason to tell James that.

  No one watching her bright smile as she chatted and flirted light-heartedly with the men would have guessed how close she was to tears. Guy watched her from a distance with a remote, uninterested expression that was more hurtful than open contempt. The less he responded, the more feverish her chatter grew, and the more brittle her smile until she was sure it must crack. But her control only wavered once when she found herself standing next to Guy’s father, Bill. He was observing the chaotic activity round the barbecue with that air of cool detachment that was so typical of his son, and his slow smile as he turned to her was so like Guy’s too that her breath caught in her throat.

  ‘You OK, Olivia?’ Bill asked, his eyes narrowing slightly at her unguarded expression.

  ‘Oh, yes, I’m fine,’ she said quickly. ‘Fine.’

  As he talked, she could think only that this was how Guy would look when he was old, and that she would not be there to see it. And the knife of misery twisted inside so that she gasped and fled, muttering something about ‘helping Janet’, terrified she would break down in front of everyone.

  Behind the homestead, all was dark except for a patch of yellow light shining out from the kitchen window. Olivia leant against the wall in the shadow below and wrapped her arms about her as if she were cold.

  I won’t cry. I won’t.

  She stayed in the comfort of the darkness for long minutes, until with a ragged sigh she forced herself upright, only to tense as the sound of female voices in the kitchen rang through the screen netting with disastrous clarity.

  ‘What do you think of Guy’s new wife? No, not there - Janet said in the fridge.’

  ‘Oh, yes, here it is … Olivia? She’s a bit much, isn’t she? Have you seen the way she’s been carrying on with all the men this evening? And that dress! Wish I could get off with something like that!’

  ‘She looks like she used to be a model or something,’ the other girl agreed gloomily. ‘Funny kind of wife for Guy, though, isn’t she? I don’t know what he sees in her.’

  ‘I’d have thought it was obvious,’ her friend said with some acidity. ‘But I agree, it’s unlike Guy to be bowled over by a beautiful face. I always thought he’d marry Robyn Wilson.’

  ‘So did Robyn! I’ll bet she’s pretty sick. She’d have been a far better wife for him too. That Olivia doesn’t look as if she’s ever worked in her life. Did you see her hands - painted nails!’

  In the darkness, Olivia’s fingers curled. Her hands had been so rough after the weeks of cleaning that she had made a special effort to manicure them in expectation of the party. So much for making an effort!

  ‘I feel sorry for Guy,’ the girl went on. ‘She’s just not the type to settle down somewhere like Willagong Creek. What’s the betting she makes his life hell?’

  ‘I wouldn’t be surprised if she left him, would you? I can’t see her sticking it out here.’

  ‘At least that would leave Guy free for Robyn.’ Olivia could imagine their hopeful expressions as their voices moved away. ‘I’ve got the bread … did you get the butter …’

  Olivia stood very still in the shadows. Guy should have married Robyn. That would have made everyone happy. David would have been perfectly happy. There had been no reason to force herself on Guy. She had had to ask him to marry her, beg him to make love to her. Suddenly she burned with humiliation. Guy had made it very clear what he thought of her, but nobody else knew that he wasn’t the fool he must appear, tied to an embarrassing, unsuitable wife. How many others would feel sorry for him after today?

  The anger that had buoyed her up through the evening had completely evaporated. She felt only very tired. Guy was a proud man; he would hate the thought of being pitied. When she had asked James to take her to Townsville, it had been in furious reaction to Guy’s contempt, but perhaps it would be better for Guy if she just left for good?

  Leaving Guy would mean leaving David too. The thought tore at her heart - but how could she go back to Willagong Creek, knowing how much Guy regretted their marriage? Would David really benefit from such an unhappy situation? Did he need her as much as she claimed, or was the truth that she would miss him far, far more than he would miss her?

  ‘What are you doing standing here in the dark?’ Guy appeared suddenly in front of her, and Olivia, after her first start of fright, looked quickly away, unwilling for him to see the naked longing in her eyes.

  ‘Thinking,’ she said, and then, when he made no reply, ‘I’m going to Townsville tomorrow.’

  ‘Townsville?’ he repeated roughly. ‘Why?’

  ‘Why do you think?’

  ‘Are you going with that … with Hungerford?’

  She nodded, still not looking at him. Let him think she was going with James as more than a passenger, if that was what he wanted.

  There was a pause.

  ‘Are you coming back?’ Guy asked at last, as if the question had been dragged out of him.

  ‘No.’ Olivia took a deep breath. ‘It’s obviously not working, Guy. I just … don’t belong here.’

  The anger seemed to have drained from Guy too. ‘You were willing to give it a go before,’ he said in a flat voice.

  ‘That was be
fore,’ she muttered.

  ‘I see.’ He sounded oddly defeated. ‘So you’re running back to civilisation, is that it?’

  ‘I think it would be better for both of us.’ She clasped her hands together to stop them from shaking. ‘I’m sure we can get a divorce quite easily. Then you can marry Robyn after all. She’s just the kind of woman you need at Willagong Creek!’

  ‘Yes.’ Guy seemed to hear the doubtful note in his voice, for he said again, ‘Yes, she is.’ He half turned away. ‘If you can’t stand it any more, you’d better go, then. Go back to your city and your sophisticated friends, if that’s what you want. I’ll tell David you changed your mind.’

  Olivia was mystified at the bitterness in his voice. He was the one who wanted her to go! ‘It’s all right, I … I’ll talk to him tomorrow.’

  ‘He probably won’t mind that much,’ Guy went on callously, as if he deliberately wanted to hurt her. ‘He likes Robyn.’

  Olivia bit her lip. She wanted desperately to throw herself against him, to feel his arms around her, and hear him telling her he wouldn’t let her go. Instead she gave a tight smile. ‘I know. I’m sure he’ll be fine. I’d still like to see him, of course, when I can.’

  ‘When you can fit him in with your career?’

  ‘I meant when it was convenient for you,’ she said quietly.

  ‘Oh.’ Guy hunched a shoulder. ‘Well, he’ll probably go away to school quite soon. You wouldn’t have had to stay much longer anyway.’

  ‘In that case, I think we should just admit that we made a mistake and go our separate ways.’ Olivia’s voice trembled slightly with the effort of keeping it under control.

  ‘It’s up to you,’ Guy said, with a cruel lack of concern.

  ‘I … I’m sorry if it puts you in an embarrassing position,’ she faltered.

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘I suppose it’ll look as if I walked out on you.’

  ‘That’s what you are doing, isn’t it?’

  ‘No! We’ve come to a mutual agreement that the arrangement we made isn’t working.’

  ‘Is that what we’ve done?’ Guy said with an edge of sarcasm. ‘Lucky I had an executive on hand to explain it to me!’

  A comforting flash of anger shook Olivia. She was doing what he wanted - he might at least make things easy for her! ‘I’m only trying to be civilised about this!’ she snapped.

  ‘Good for you!’ He glared down at her with hostile eyes. ‘But then, as you’ve discovered, the outback isn’t a civilised enough place for you, is it, Olivia?’ He turned away abruptly. ‘You can have the bed. I’ll find somewhere else to sleep.’

  She found David early the next morning, exactly where she had expected to find him, hanging over the paddock rails and watching the horses. The party had gone on long into the night and there was no one else around.

  ‘Can I go and stay with Brad Clark sometime, Olivia?’ he demanded as she joined him. ‘Mrs Clark said I could.’

  Olivia screwed up her eyes against the sun, and tried not to think how hard it was going to be to say goodbye to David. She had spent the night staring at the door, willing it to open, willing Guy to come in and tell her he hadn’t meant any of it, but he hadn’t come, and in the end she accepted that he must want her to leave after all. After that, there was no going back. There was only David to see.

  ‘Who’s Brad?’ she asked. Anything to put off having to tell him.

  ‘He’s my friend. He’s a year and two months older than me. I met him at the rodeo yesterday.’

  ‘If Mrs Clark says you can stay, I’m sure it’ll be all right.’

  ‘Good.’ Pleased at not meeting the expected opposition, David turned back to the horses.

  ‘Would you like to go back with Brad today - if Mrs Clark doesn’t mind?’

  ‘OK.’ David looked at her, puzzled. ‘Why?’

  ‘Oh, I … the thing is …’ she floundered. In the paddock, the horses grazed peacefully, flicking their tails against the flies. ‘The thing is, David, I’m going to Townsville today.’

  ‘When are you coming back?’

  There was a pause. ‘I’m not coming back,’ she said.

  David’s face went very still. He climbed down off the railings. ‘Is it because of me?’

  ‘No!’ Olivia said quickly. ‘It’s because of me - and Guy.’

  ‘I overheard somebody at the rodeo saying that you probably married Guy because of “the kid”.’ He looked down at his feet. ‘That’s me, isn’t it? Is that why you got married?’

  Olivia’s heart cracked as she looked down at his bent head. He deserved honesty at least. ‘Yes,’ she said gently, ‘you’re the reason we got married, but you’re not the reason I’m going, I promise you, David.’ She turned to lean her back against the rails, and tried to think of the words to explain. ‘You don’t know what it’s like to be in love, so you might not understand. I’m in love with Guy, David, but he’s not in love with me, and it makes it very … hard. He’d rather be married to someone else, you see. Someone who’d be a better wife for him than me. Someone who’d probably be a better mother for you.’ She hesitated. ‘I’d ask you if you wanted to come with me, David, but I know how much you love Willagong Creek, and I haven’t got another home to offer you yet. I don’t want you to think that I don’t care for you very, very much.’

  David was still looking at the ground. His lower lip was stuck out and his small face was fierce with concentration. Olivia swallowed. She was trying hard not to cry herself.

  ‘I’m only going because I think it would be better for you as well as for Guy if I went,’ she went on, desperate for him to understand. ‘This way you’ll all be much happier, I promise. But as soon as I have somewhere to stay, you can come and see me as often as you want … OK?’

  There was a long pause. At last David managed a nod, and then, abruptly, he turned and ran away from her as if she had struck him.

  Last night, reliving the terrible scenes with Guy, Olivia had been unable to cry, but now she just stood for long minutes and let the tears pour noiselessly down her face, awash with black despair, and the terrible pain of having seen the two people she loved most in the world turn away from her.

  ‘Olivia? Is everything all right?’

  She hadn’t heard Janet come up behind her, and turned quickly to face the paddock, surreptitiously brushing the tears from her cheeks. Unable to speak, she nodded.

  Janet came to stand beside her and tactfully looked out at the horses. ‘James is about to leave. He said you wanted to go into Townsville with him - is that right?’

  Olivia nodded again.

  ‘It’s not my business, I know, but have you and Guy had an argument? He wouldn’t say anything to me this morning. He just looked through me and walked off towards the horizon.’ Janet shook her head. ‘He was always like that when he was upset. Even when he was a very little boy, he used to bottle things up.’

  ‘He wasn’t bottling things up yesterday!’ Olivia burst out, betrayed into a choking sob.

  ‘So you have had an argument!’ Janet shook her head, but her tolerant smile faded when she saw the ravaged face Olivia turned to her. The distraught girl before her bore little resemblance to the alarmingly sophisticated woman Guy had introduced yesterday. ‘My dear,’ she said with impulsive sympathy, ‘what on earth’s the matter?’

  ‘Everything!’ Olivia gave in and burst into tears. Collapsing on to the rail, she pillowed her face in her arms and cried as if her heart was breaking.

  Concerned, Janet patted her shoulder. ‘Now, now, things can’t be that bad!’

  ‘They are! Guy hates me, and I’ve made David cry, and I love him so much - David, I mean - and now I’ve got to go away and I’ll probably never see him again,’ Olivia sobbed incoherently.

  ‘But why do you have to go away?’

  ‘Guy wants to m-marry Robyn.’

  Janet’s eyebrows lifted in surprise. ‘But he’s married to you!’

  ‘We only g
ot married for David’s sake,’ Olivia explained, between sobs. ‘But it hasn’t worked out. Guy didn’t really want to get married in the first place. I’m never going to fit in here. We’re going to get a divorce so Guy can marry Robyn. You were right, Guy should have married her.’

  ‘Did I say that?’ Janet asked, startled.

  ‘You said you’d always thought they’d get married, or something like that.’

  Janet looked troubled. ‘We might have thought that, Olivia, but it doesn’t mean anything. If he’d wanted to marry Robyn, he could have married her years ago, but he didn’t - he married you. I’ve known Guy longer than anyone, Olivia, and, ever since he was a baby, I’ve never once known him do anything he didn’t want to do!’

  ‘Well, he wants me to leave now! He doesn’t love me.’ Olivia gave a shuddering sigh and wiped her cheeks with the back of her hand. ‘And I don’t love him,’ she added defiantly. ‘I’m crying because of David, not because of Guy.’

  ‘And I suppose he hasn’t gone off looking as if he’s been punched in the stomach because of you either?’

  ‘He’s probably just gone to look at some cows,’ Olivia said bitterly.

  Janet half smiled. ‘I think the stock is the last thing on his mind right now.’ She laid her hand firmly on Olivia’s shoulder. ‘These men aren’t used to talking about their feelings, Olivia, but it doesn’t mean they don’t feel the same as anyone else.’ When Olivia looked stubbornly unconvinced, Janet went on, ‘You know, when I met you yesterday, I thought you were quite the wrong sort of wife for Guy. I suspected David might have had something to do with it, and quite frankly I didn’t like the idea that you might have persuaded Guy into a loveless marriage. But I changed my mind when I saw the look in his eyes this morning. He wouldn’t look like that unless he felt very strongly about something, and I think that something is you.’

  Olivia was staring out into the paddock, but Janet was sure that she had her full attention. ‘Guy’s a very self-contained person. He needed someone to shake him off balance, to make him less detached. A girl like Robyn would have made him a suitable wife, sure, but he needs someone who can make him really … feel.’