Woman at Willagong Creek

by Hart, Jessica

  ‘I make him feel the wrong things, though!’ Olivia burst out. ‘You didn’t hear what he said to me last night. We had a terrible argument.’

  ‘Olivia, Guy wouldn’t be arguing if he didn’t care more than he wants to admit, even to himself. Even as a boy, he never argued. He just went off and quietly did exactly as he wanted! With you he’s behaving uncharacteristically - that’s a good sign.’

  ‘But so much of what he said is right!’ Janet’s words had lit a spark of hope in Olivia’s heart, but now she slumped back into despair. ‘I’m not the right kind of wife for him. I just don’t belong here.’

  ‘You belong with the man you love,’ Janet said firmly. ‘And you do love Guy, don’t you, Olivia?’

  Olivia turned her head to meet Janet’s clear gaze. ‘Yes,’ she whispered. ‘Oh, yes, I do.’

  ‘Well, in my book that makes you the right kind of wife for Guy. It doesn’t matter that you can’t lasso a steer or brand a calf. What matters is what you feel for Guy.’

  ‘Do you really think he might love me?’ Olivia asked, hardly daring to hope again.

  ‘He’s showing every sign of it,’ Janet said in a dry voice. ‘He just might not know it yet.’

  ‘So you think I should stay after all?’

  Janet wriggled her nose thoughtfully. ‘No-o,’ she said at last. ‘It wouldn’t do him any harm to realise what he stands to lose, and you could probably do with some time to yourself. I don’t suppose there’s been much time at Willagong Creek to think things through properly. Why don’t you go with James as you arranged and spend a few days in Townsville? I’ll make sure Guy knows where to find you. And don’t worry about David. I’ll keep him here until you and Guy have sorted yourselves out.’

  Chapter Ten

  In spite of Janet’s encouragement, it took all Olivia’s control to get into the car and drive away from Guy and David without saying goodbye.

  ‘You will tell Guy where I am?’ she begged as she clung to Janet.

  ‘Of course I will.’

  ‘And David? You’ll look after him?’

  ‘I promise.’ Janet shook her head in resignation. ‘Don’t worry!’ She opened the car door. ‘Go on, in you get!’ Closing the door on Olivia, she bent to say a last goodbye through the open window. ‘You’re doing the right thing,’ she reassured her.

  Was she? Olivia spent the long hours in the car wondering if Guy would follow her. It always happened in stories. As soon as the hero found that his heroine had gone, he leapt on his white charger and set off in hot pursuit. The little plane wasn’t quite as romantic as a white charger, but it would be quicker. If he wanted to, Guy could be in Townsville tonight …

  But what if he didn’t come? As the long miles passed, the hope that Janet had encouraged began to seem less and less realistic. Olivia replayed the arguments with Guy again and again in her mind, and each time the remembrance of bitterness grew.

  I wish I’d never agreed to marry you.

  You’ll never be a Willagong woman.

  Janet might be wrong. Guy might not come.

  It was a long, silent drive to Townsville. Much to her relief, after a glance at her preoccupied face, James refrained from small talk. Only when he lifted her overnight bag out of the car outside the hotel did he say hesitantly, ‘I’m supposed to be flying to Sydney tomorrow, but if there’s anything at all I can do for you …’

  Olivia summoned a smile. ‘It’s sweet of you, James, but I’ll be fine - really.’

  ‘What about dinner tonight?’

  She looked at him as if for the first time. He was good-looking, charming, good company. Only a few weeks ago she would have been delighted to have spent an evening with him. But a vision of Guy rose before her - Guy tipping back his hat, Guy looking up from his work with those eyes that could reach inside her and squeeze her heart, Guy swinging himself on to his horse, Guy smiling, Guy’s hands against her skin - and a wave of longing shook her, so strong that she almost cried out with disappointment when the vision faded and it was only James standing before her.

  ‘I’d rather be on my own, James,’ she admitted at last. ‘But thank you - and thank you for the lift too. I’m sorry I wasn’t much company.’

  ‘That’s all right - I understand.’ James leant forward and kissed her cheek. ‘I hope everything works out for you, Olivia.’

  I hope so too, Olivia thought forlornly, watching him drive away.

  She turned and walked into the hotel. This was where she had first met Guy. It was one of the best hotels in Townsville, modern, comfortable, luxurious even. She had always enjoyed staying in places like these, but now the subtle lighting and elegant anonymity crowded in on her, suffocating her.

  Sliding open the glass door, she stepped out on to the balcony of her room and gazed down at the street below her. At Willagong Creek she had longed to be back in a familiar city environment; now she was here she felt cramped and unsettled. Could she really have changed so much in such a short time?

  The evening stretched interminably as she waited and hoped for a knock on the door, but by eleven o’clock she accepted that Guy wouldn’t come, at least not that night. Had he gone back to Willagong Creek after all? It would be very dark and still there now. He would be lying alone in the big bed. Was he thinking about her? Was he missing her? Why didn’t he come? She fell asleep at last and dreamt of open horizons and bright light and a slow, slow smile.

  She spent the next day hanging around the hotel, hating herself for still hoping against hope that Guy might appear, and terrified to go too far in case she missed him. She sat in the foyer where she had first seen him, and every time a tall, lean figure in a hat came in her heart would leap, then thud back into place with sickening disappointment.

  At last she began to get angry. Guy obviously wasn’t coming. He had managed perfectly well without her before. He didn’t need her, he didn’t want her, so why was she sitting here waiting for him? It was time to face the truth. She would go away for a few days, to one of the islands on the Barrier Reef, and decide how she was going to get through the rest of her life without him.

  The coral island she chose was idyllic, but she was blind to the beauty of white sandy beaches and palm-fringed skies. Instead she stared out at the sea and thought about the dry, red Willagong dust and how empty the future seemed.

  By the time she left the Reef, her decision was made. London was too far away from David, so somehow she must stay in Australia. If she could get a job, find somewhere to live, he could at least come and stay with her sometimes. Eventually she might even be able to meet Guy and they could make light of their disastrous attempt at marriage. Maybe.

  For now, a job was a priority. Olivia threw herself into making plans. It took her mind off the dull ache of unhappiness and the terrible feeling that she was hurtling in completely the wrong direction. Sydney seemed the obvious place to find someone who could use her experience, and as soon as she arrived back in Townsville, desperate to commit herself before she changed her mind, she booked herself a ticket for the following morning. Guy wasn’t coming for her, so she might as well go.

  But she couldn’t go without finding out if David was all right. Dialling the Pingunaguna number, she finally got through to Janet. It was a terrible line, and Olivia had to shout to make herself understood above the crackle of static.

  ‘Where have you been?’ Janet yelled when she had established who it was.

  ‘Out on the Reef,’ Olivia shouted back. ‘I’m flying to Sydney tomorrow morning.’

  ‘Going where?’

  ‘Sydney!’ Olivia was feeling hoarse already.

  ‘Sydney? But why?’

  ‘Well …’ Olivia swallowed. ‘There doesn’t seem much point in waiting for Guy to turn up.’ Her voice wobbled treacherously and she took a steadying breath. ‘I’ve decided to try and find a job - Sydney seems a good place to start.’

  ‘Look, Olivia, I don’t think …’ The line faded and Janet’s voice was drowned out by st
atic.

  Olivia shook the receiver, in panic lest she lose her only link to Willagong Creek. ‘Hello! Hello! Janet, are you still there?’

  ‘I said I don’t think you should go, not yet,’ Janet shouted. ‘Can’t you just wait a few days?’

  ‘No, I … I’ve made up my mind. My flight’s at nine o’clock, and I’m going to be on it. Guy could have found me if he’d wanted to, Janet. He’s made it pretty clear that I’m not that important, so I’m just going to have to get on with my own life.’ Janet started to say something, but Olivia interrupted her. ‘I really just wanted to know how David is.’

  ‘He’s fine.’ The line faded again and then came back with a deafening whine. ‘Are you sure you’re doing the right thing, Olivia?’ Janet asked, concerned.

  ‘I don’t see what else I can do,’ Olivia said wearily.

  An unintelligible crackle answered her. ‘What?’ she bellowed.

  Another crackle, but this time she caught the word ‘Guy’. Olivia bit her lip in frustration. ‘I’m sorry Janet, I can’t hear you,’ she shouted when they had tried for a third time. ‘I’ll have to go. And Janet, will you … will you give my love to David?’

  She hoped Janet had heard her. Slowly she replaced the receiver. Her last faint hope, that Janet might have had some message from Guy, had gone. Now she really would have to go.

  Olivia stood in the airport terminal, fingering her boarding-card. The flight had been announced, and already a queue was forming, shuffling inexorably towards the gate.

  This, then, was it. Now that the moment had arrived, Olivia was conscious of an overwhelming urge to run back outside, back to Willagong Creek, back to Guy. But of course she couldn’t. David and Guy were fine without her. She would have to get on the plane and leave them behind.

  The boarding-card was crumpled beyond recognition. She straightened it out as best she could, and headed resolutely for the queue.

  The other passengers had paused and were looking towards the entrance to the departure lounge, where some kind of altercation seemed to be taking place. Incuriously, she turned to see what all the fuss was about - and froze with incredulous shock.

  Guy was standing, arguing heatedly with a uniformed airline official who was barring his path into the lounge. ‘I know I haven’t got a boarding-pass! Just let me have a look, will you? I just need to see if she’s -’

  He broke off as he caught sight of Olivia over the official’s shoulder. She was wearing the jade-green dress she had worn on that disastrous day at the rodeo, standing stock still, oblivious to the people around her who, disappointed that there wasn’t going to be more of a scene, were jostling back into the queue.

  As if everything were happening in slow motion, she saw Guy push the official’s arm aside and walk deliberately towards her through the crowds. They might have been the only two people in the building.

  Hit by the sudden conviction that it was just a cruel hallucination, Olivia squeezed her eyes shut. She couldn’t bear it not to be him. Let him be real, she prayed. Let it be Guy.

  When she opened them, he was still walking towards her. She wanted to smile, to run and meet him halfway, but her body refused to respond, and in the end she could only stand foolishly, watching his unhurried progress with dazed blue eyes.

  When at last he stood in front of her, he let his breath out in a long sigh of relief, as if he had feared she might turn and run. ‘Olivia,’ he said, then stopped, unable to go on. He was wearing jeans and a dull green work shirt. There was a tear in his sleeve, just where it was rolled up to his elbow, and Olivia found herself clutching at the detail as if it was the only proof that he was really there.

  A stout, harassed-looking official was bearing down on them. ‘Look, mate, the bloke over there told you you weren’t allowed in here without a boarding-card. You’ll have to leave - and the young lady’ll have to board now. You should have said your goodbyes outside.’

  Guy ignored him. ‘Where are you going?’ he demanded.

  ‘Sydney,’ she whispered. It was the first thing she had said.

  ‘What for?’

  ‘I need a job.’

  There was a pause. ‘There’s a job for you at Willagong Creek.’

  Olivia swallowed. ‘What about Robyn?’ She couldn’t tear her eyes off him, and looking down into her face, Guy seemed suddenly to relax.

  ‘I decided that she wasn’t suitable for the position after all.’

  ‘Of course she’s suitable!’ Olivia burst out in sudden bitterness.

  The last of the passengers had disappeared on to the plane by now and the airline official sighed. ‘Look, miss, are you getting on this flight or not?’

  Robyn was all the reasons she was leaving. ‘I … I have to go now, Guy.’ Olivia made as if to turn away, but he reached out and grasped her wrist to stop her.

  They both stared down at his tight, angry grip, then he slowly released her. He looked into her eyes and his voice was very quiet when he spoke. ‘Don’t go,’ he said. ‘Please stay.’

  ‘Well?’ The official put his hands on his hips. ‘Are you coming or not?’

  Olivia was still staring into Guy’s eyes and the expression she read there made her shake her head slowly. ‘No,’ she said, ‘I’m not going.’

  ‘You can close the gate, Pete,’ the official called wearily over to his colleague, who was muttering into his walkie-talkie about the delay. ‘The lady’s decided to stay after all.’

  Guy and Olivia hardly heard him. The slow smile that started in Guy’s eyes grew and grew as he realised that Olivia was not, after all, going to run on to the plane, and, as he smiled, Olivia, still dazed by her sudden reprieve, could only smile wordlessly back at him.

  ‘Come on,’ he said, taking her hand. ‘We can’t talk here.’

  He led her to the other side of the airport, to where the familiar little red and white plane was parked next to the other light aircraft on a quiet corner of the runway. They seemed to shimmer in the heat bouncing off the tarmac, and the metal wings flashed in the sun. Olivia was content to walk in silence. All she needed to know for now was that Guy was there beside her.

  There were some boxes of tinned peaches stacked in the shade of a hut. They sat and watched a small plane scoot down the runway, propeller blurring, and lift itself effortlessly into the vibrant blue of the sky. When it was no more than a dot in the distance, Guy said, as if to himself, ‘I nearly missed you.’ He held her hand tightly, reassuring himself that she was still there.

  ‘Did Janet tell you where I was?’

  He nodded. ‘The day you left - I’ll never forget it - I came back and she told me you’d gone with James Hungerford.’ He half smiled. ‘I wanted to kill him! I was beside myself with jealousy and anger, furious with him, with you, with my mother for not locking you up and refusing to let you go. She told me I’d been a fool and that I should go after you, but I was too bitter, too hurt. I went back to Willagong Creek determined that I never wanted to see you again.’ He paused, his eyes still on the tiny plane in the distance. ‘I managed to hold out for a day. In the end, I swallowed my pride and flew to Townsville to look for you, but you’d gone. I tried the hotel where we met, and they said you’d checked out. All day I just wandered round the town, hoping against hope that I’d see you, but it wasn’t any good. I had to go back and try and tell myself that it was all for the best, that you’d never be happy in the outback.’

  He turned slowly to look at her. ‘That was the longest week of my life, Olivia. I was in black despair until my mother managed to get a radio message to me first thing this morning. All she said was that your plane left at nine. I came straight away, but I was nearly too late. I’d been running round the terminal trying to find you. When I saw you standing there, I felt …’ His voice trailed off as he searched for the right words. ‘I can’t tell you how I felt,’ he admitted eventually.

  Gently, Olivia laid the back of her hand against his cheek. ‘You don’t need to explain,’ she said. ‘I k
now.’

  ‘Do you, Olivia?’ Guy asked, his voice very deep. ‘Do you know what it feels like to love someone so much that it hurts just to look at them? To fall hopelessly in love with the opposite of what you’ve always wanted?’ He brought his hand up to cover hers. ‘Do you know what it’s like to think that you’ve lost them because you’re too scared to admit it?’

  ‘Yes,’ she said simply. ‘I know how all that feels. I love you, Guy. I think I’ve loved you from the beginning.’

  For a long moment he searched her face with his eyes, as if hardly daring to believe what she was saying, then he drew her towards him for a kiss of such fierce possessiveness that Olivia felt as if she would dissolve with happiness.

  ‘I’m sorry for those things I said to you,’ he said at last, burying his face against the softness of her hair. ‘I didn’t mean any of it. I never wanted to marry Robyn.’

  ‘Even though she’s so suitable?’ Olivia teased, safely held against him.

  ‘I pretended I’d never had time to find a suitable wife, but it wasn’t true. There were lots of suitable girls if I’d wanted them, but I didn’t. Deep down I wanted a girl like the one Diane used to show me photos of.’ Guy kissed her ear, and she could feel him smiling. ‘I thought you were the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen, but I knew you were out of my reach. Diane was always saying how glamorous and successful you were. She’d read out bits of your letters, and it sounded as if you were always out on the town with some man. I knew that even if I ever met you you would never be interested in me. I suppose I convinced myself I disliked you as a sort of self-defence.

  ‘And then when you came, and I did meet you, you were just as I’d always imagined you. When you asked me to marry you, I couldn’t believe it. This beautiful girl, suddenly asking if she could stay.’ He paused again, tightening his arms about her. ‘I think you were right about me having a chip on my shoulder. I wanted you desperately, but you were such a city girl. I thought that if you’d been in love with Tim - and you made a point of telling me how different he was - you’d sneer at the idea of a country boy like me, so I pretended not to care. I was afraid to touch you, afraid I’d lose control if I did and that you’d despise me for it.