Lone Star Joy

by Kathleen Ball

  Joy shook her head, looking into his eyes. "I don't understand."

  Stamos ran his fingers through his hair, gazing at her. "Why should you understand? I haven't even explained anything to you. I've been waiting and hoping for the closeness and passion we found last night. This morning I felt afraid that I loved you too much and you'd end up leaving me."

  Joy's eyes misted as she looked at him. Her smile lit up her whole face. "No matter what you always demanded a morning kiss..."

  "I'm sorry, babe." Stamos pulled her into his arms and kissed her. He intended to brand her. He wanted Joy to feel his love in that one kiss. From her response, he could tell he succeeded.

  She snaked her arms around his neck and held on. Her tongue in his mouth made him crazy. Her moans excited him and when she pushed her hips against his, he thought he'd jump out of his skin.

  Little by little, he let her go. Looking into her eyes, he could see stars. "I'm a jackass. Forgive me?"

  Joy blushed and nodded. "Just don't forget my goodnight kiss."

  "Never again. I promise I won't forget again. I think we need to talk though." He could tell by her frown that she was expecting the worst. "You sometimes seem so distant to me. There are whole days that I think that I have lost you. I understand prison mentality, really I do. You always give your love to Dillon and that's great. It's just that I feel hurt that I'm not included in your unconditional love," Stamos confessed, looking into her big eyes.

  "Unconditional love? I'm afraid I don't know what that is."

  Stamos smiled and took her hand. Entwining his fingers with hers, he bought her small hand to his mouth and he kissed it. "It's the love you give to Dillon. It's the love that you give with no strings attached. It's when your heart is full of the other person no matter what mistakes they make. It includes forgiveness and giving the benefit of the doubt. It's knowing that no matter what, the one you love is always on your side. They always have your back."

  Joy's eyes never left his face. It was almost as though he could see the very moment when she understood what he was saying.

  "You have unconditional love for me?" she inquired.

  "Without a doubt," he replied seriously.

  "My heart is going to burst, Stamos. I never want to be without you. I do love you."

  Stamos pulled her into his arms and hugged her. He loved the feel of her in his arms. She didn't know it, but she had allayed all of his fears. She had no wiles, no agenda. Joy just was.

  "I can feel the baby moving," she whispered.

  "You do want the baby don't you?"

  Joy pulled away and smiled. The whole room lit up under that one smile. "Of course I do. It didn't seem real to me before. Now," she stoked her abdomen, "now it's fluttering around inside me and I feel so blessed. So yes, Stamos, I'm happy about the baby. I'm proud to be carrying your baby."

  A wail from Dillon interrupted the moment they shared. "Let's go and see to our son," Stamos suggested.

  Joy smiled and nodded.

  Joy looked out into the eerie night feeling anxious. Her father and brother were dangerous and she didn't want Stamos going after them. If they were to live in peace, they had no choice. Still, it made her nervous.

  Dillon was tucked in for the night and Bea had gone to her room. Stamos, Hoss, and David all left together. Stamos had given her one hell of a kiss before he left. Touching her lips with her fingers, she shivered.

  Then there was Benji. What if he got hurt? She'd never forgive herself. Joy couldn't seem to help being fretful. She observed a shadow moving across the yard. Her gut told her that she was in danger.

  Moving slowly, she went to Stamos' desk and opened the top drawer. Joy sighed in relief when she spotted the handgun. Picking it up, she tucked it into the waistband of her pants, in the back. Her heart was in her throat and she could barely swallow. Who could it be? Probably her no good, mangy family.

  Why wouldn't they just let her be? Her whole body tensed as she waited in the shadows, watching. Her nerves were getting to her and she began to shake.

  The front door handle rattled and turned. Joy took the gun into her hand and pointed at the door. She held it with both hands, trying not to shake so much.

  The door swung open and Joy held her breath. She was ready. She had Dillon to protect. She could do this. The door opened all the way, yet the person hadn't entered the house.

  With her heart thumping out of her chest, Joy took a step toward the door and almost shot at the intruder when he entered the house. It had been a close thing. She'd almost shot Benji.

  With her adrenaline waning, Joy leaned back against the sofa cushion and closed her eyes. She'd almost shot at Benji. The horror of it made her shake. Crossing her arms in front, she hugged herself, trying to keep from coming apart.

  Benji happily drank the hot cocoa that Bea had made him. The seriousness of her actions didn't envelope him. Joy was grateful for his naivety.

  Stamos had entered the house not long after Benji and he immediately took the gun from her. She hadn't even realized that she still held it. At least he wasn't angry. He seemed almost sympathetic.

  Now Hoss, David, and George were all huddled together, talking. Talking about her. Joy smiled at George. His hug helped her to regain her sanity, once again.

  Too bad George hadn't come under better circumstances. Bea was all doe eyed with him around. He looked right back at her. Joy made a mental note to get them together after all the craziness stopped. If all the craziness stopped. The looks on the men's faces didn't look too promising. Her need to run away was growing greater and greater, but she couldn't leave Stamos. He'd told her his fears and she planned to be a safe keeper of his secrets.

  "I should have used my see around the corner mirror. Then I'd have knowed that you were in here with the gun," Benji said.

  "Benji, it's not your fault. I overreacted. I'm just glad that you didn't get hurt," Joy told him.

  "You don't understand. Nothing can hurt agent 008."

  Joy's eyes flew to Stamos' face in alarm. He must have heard what Benji said. He immediately left the huddle and walked over to them. Putting an arm around Benji, Stamos smiled at him.

  "Even secret agents can get hurt, Benji. It's best to be careful. You'd better go get some shut-eye, buddy. Tomorrow will be here before we know it."

  "Sure thing, Stamos," Benji agreed as he left the house.

  The couch dipped under Stamos' weight. "How's my beautiful wife?" he inquired.

  Joy didn't trust herself to speak. She turned and buried her face in his shoulder instead and knew instant comfort when Stamos wrapped his arms around her. She needed a plan to keep them all safe. She loved them all.

  "They didn't show tonight. I don't know what that means," Stamos admitted.

  Joy didn't reply. She was too busy trying to find her inner strength. She'd find it in the circle of Stamos' arms.

  "Hey we found something," George announced.

  Stamos jumped off the couch, pulling Joy along with them.

  "They were there earlier. Sounds like they had a fight and left before Benji got there," Hoss explained.

  Joy could see the excitement in the men's eyes. "Well?"

  "I placed a bug in the tree that they usually meet at," David explained, with a smile. "Listen to this."

  David pushed a button on his computer and everyone was quiet.

  "I'm getting tired of this," Jamie's voice was loud and clear.

  "Leave, I don't need you. You've become a whiner just like your sister." Joy's eyes widened when she heard her father's voice.

  "I'm not so sure that's true. She hasn't opened her mouth and I don't think she will," Jamie said.

  "Look, you got that bitch Bailey involved. If she hadn't called that Stacey slut, we'd have been fine. We can't have the law looking into Joy's case. You know it," her father yelled.

  "How was I supposed to know that Stacey would want custody? I'm about done. I covered for you, but Joy has paid a very high price for your actions
," Jaime said his voice full of disgust.

  "You just don't get it. If she opens her mouth, we both go down. You are as much a part of this as I am. We'll use Benji, find out when she'll be alone, and we'll take her."

  Joy's hand flew to her mouth in dismay. It was one thing to know, but hearing it was almost unbearable. She couldn't fathom what she had done to her father to have him hate her so. She'd thought about it plenty over the years.

  "I thought I took the fall for Jaime. It sounds like..." Joy began to weep.

  Stamos pulled her close. "Sounds like your son of a bitch father did the killing."

  Joy nodded against his shoulder. The salty tears on her cut cheek went unnoticed as her heart broke. Even after all her father had done, the little girl inside her still held out hope. She'd thought herself past such hurts. The pain in her heart was proof that it wasn't true.

  "Joy? Joy, are you alright?" Stamos asked.

  "I shouldn't be surprised. I shouldn't even be hurt, but it does hurts. It hurts big time," she cried.

  "Some hurts just never go away, Joy. Let's go upstairs and get some rest," Stamos suggested.

  Joy nodded and woodenly followed Stamos, glad that he was holding her hand.

  Once upstairs, Joy's tears faded. Stamos had taken off his shirt and she couldn't help but stare. Every muscle was so well defined. She loved his abs. The thought of touching him sent shivers through her body.

  What was wrong with her? One minute her world seemed to be crumbling around her and now, all she could think of was how good Stamos could make her feel. Stepping closer, Joy reached out with a shaking hand and touched his chest. The hair on it looked so sexy and it was soft.

  She wanted to be naked against his skin. Suddenly it became too much. A sense of urgency shot through her. Stamos smiled at her and it was all the encouragement she needed to ravage her man.

  Reaching up, Joy pulled his head down to her lips, kissing him deeply, her tongue invading his mouth.

  Stamos tensed for a moment, and then relaxed. He wrapped his loving arms around her and pulled her close.

  It wasn't close enough for Joy. She broke their kiss to tear off her top. The fire was intense, burning so hot. She made quick work of her jeans and panties too. Seeing that Stamos was taking off his clothes pleased her.

  Joy pushed him down on the bed and got on top of him, kissing his lush, sensual lips. Yes, this is what she wanted. Joy had never known such passion, such desire. It blocked out all else. The world was just her and Stamos, making sweet love.

  Joy looked into his dark eyes, not knowing what to expect. Stamos' eyes were passion filled and his smile made him look to be a very satisfied man.

  "That was--"

  Joy put her finger over his lips. "Don't talk. Let's just feel." She snuggled against him and cherished the feeling of being in his arms.

  It was such a strange feeling. It felt identical to coming home and it humbled Joy as Stamos stroked her back. This cowboy had given her more than any other person. He'd given her a home and his heart. Then there was Dillon and the baby growing inside her.

  "I love you," she whispered.

  Rinsing out her mouth, Joy recognized that being pregnant wasn't all it seemed cracked up to be. She looked in the mirror for that special glow she'd heard about. All she could see was a pale, tired woman glaring back at her. It became hard to count her many blessings when she was constantly throwing up.

  A car door slammed, then another. Joy groaned. She wanted to go back to bed and hide under the covers. Her heart warmed as she remembered the night before. She wasn't alone. She had Stamos and Dillon.

  Women, it was women's voices she heard greeting Bea like an old friend. Curious, Joy plastered a smile on her face and stuck her tongue out at herself in the mirror. Somehow, it made her feel better.

  Joy's smile became real when she walked into the kitchen. Two older women sat at the kitchen table, drinking tea. One had long black hair, which looked a bit odd with her aged face. The other looked grandmotherly.

  Bea walked over, took Joy by the arm, and led her to the table. "Joy these are, the leading ladies of Lasso Springs, Harriett and Mable."

  Joy smiled at them. "Nice to meet you."

  "Of course it is, dear," Harriett said, flinging her hair around until it was slightly off center.

  Joy bit back a laugh. Harriett's wig was outlandish.

  "We've been wanting to come and meet you," Mable explained. "My son is the town's best lawyer--"

  "Mable, she doesn't need a lawyer. We've come to greet you dear. We welcome you to our town. If you ever get to town, stop by my shop, Harriett's Yarn and Tea Shop. It's the town's hotspot."

  "Thank you, ladies. You are both very kind," Joy said graciously.

  "We also have gossip. That brother of yours is getting very friendly with that Bailey woman," Harriett blurted out.

  "They've been courtin' and sparkin'. His truck is at her house overnight," Mable exclaimed.

  Bea and Joy exchanged troubled looks. This couldn't be good. Joy had trouble concentrating on the two women after that. She was so lost in thought it surprised her when the two women stood and offered her hugs.

  "You come on by and have some tea. I can teach you how to knit a few things for Dillon and the new baby," Harriet offered. Her hair looked straightened now.

  "Thank you. Thank you both for taking the time to visit," Joy said.

  Bea and Joy waved as the women got into their car and drove off.

  "I don't like the sound of Jaime and Bailey being together," Bea said solemnly.

  "Me neither."

  Stamos watched the wind blow through Joy's loose hair. She wasn't wearing her hat and it made her look sexy as hell. Her cheeks were apple red from the brisk autumn day. She'd been so pale lately. Stamos knew she was having bouts of morning sickness.

  He'd thought she'd promised to stay in the house today. He loved her independent spirit, but not when there was danger. It was pure magic to see Joy with the horses. They followed her every command. A car had hit the particular horse she was with now, Ollie, and the owner hoped to save it.

  Ollie was fine physically, but his soul suffered. He'd become skittish and didn't want to be handled. Joy talked to him easily and Ollie allowed her to pat him. Stamos smiled. His wife was quite a woman.

  His smile turned to a look of alarm as Joy swung up onto Ollie's bareback. It took all of his control to stay put. Running toward her would frighten the horse. Stamos' heart pounded out of his chest as he watched her. His gut clenched when Ollie bucked.

  Joy leaned down and talked to him, calming him. What if she had been thrown? She could have lost the baby or hurt herself. Didn't she know how much she meant to him? How empty his life would be without her? He'd told her that he loved her, but did she believe it?

  Joy sent him a radiant smile. He didn't have the heart to yell at her, not when she finally looked happy.

  Stamos watched as she lowered herself from Ollie's back and walked toward him. Her smile didn't falter, but the shadows in her eyes told him that something was wrong.

  "Nice riding," Stamos said, lifting Joy down off the fence.

  "Thanks. I just needed to be outside for a bit," Joy said, sounding wary.

  Stamos pulled her even closer and held her. "I understand. I do want to know what's bothering you."

  Joy lifted her face to him and studied him. "How do you know that something is bothering me?"

  Stamos leaned down and kissed her long and hard. "Because I know you. Somehow you've become part of me."

  "I don't know what I did to deserve you," Joy murmured as she reached up and pulled his head down for another kiss.

  "Jaime is shacking up with Bailey," Joy whispered.

  "Like hell. Who told you that?"

  "Harriett and Mable came a calling."

  "Oh hell." He hugged her. "It's probably true, those two don't miss a thing."

  Joy pulled away and looked into his eyes. "What do you think it means?"
/>   "Nothing good, my love, nothing good."

  "I didn't notice before, but I'm heavily guarded." Joy nodded toward Arlo, Kid, Hoss, and David.

  "Can't have anything happen to my lovely wife."

  "Am I?" She bit her lip.

  "My wife?"

  Joy shook her head. "Am I lovely? Somehow I think you lie."

  Stamos felt surprised. "Haven't I told you before? You are the most lovely, beautiful, sexy woman I know. I've never been attracted to any woman the way I am attracted to you."

  Joy blushed bright red. "I guess I've tried for most of my life to look unattractive that I've come to believed it."

  "Trust me," Stamos said. "Let's get you and the little one out of the cold."

  The smile she bestowed on him warmed his heart. They would be all right. Things would work out if he could only keep her safe.

  Joy had just finished getting Dillon to bed. Her heart almost burst when he chanted, Ma Ma, all through bath time. He was now all snuggly warm in his crib.

  Bea had gone to bed early, leaving Joy on her own. The men were all out waiting and watching to see if Benji made contact with her family.

  Some family, she lamented. They had duped her. For years, she wondered why. Then she wondered how she could be so stupid. It wasn't until lately that she comprehended she had been a young trusting girl who would do anything to help her family.

  The feeling of betrayal cut deep. It was agony to know that they wanted her dead. She had loved them. Some hurts just never went away.

  Joy's whole body tensed as she paced in the study. A wave of extreme exhaustion crashed over her. She had to know what the outcome of tonight's surveillance was. Putting Benji in potential harm ate at her. Her heart skipped a beat when she spotted the trucks coming up the drive. She didn't even grab a coat, she bolted out into the cold night.

  Stamos was first to greet her with a nice hug. He urged her inside, insisting that everyone was safe. He led her to the couch and sat down next to her.

  "Well? What happened?"

  "Benji did real good."

  "I sure did," Benji said, joining them.