Lone Star Joy

by Kathleen Ball

  Stamos swung her up into his brawny arms. Joy felt so loved, so safe. She would always treasure this moment. Reaching up, she stroked his face. His face was rough with whiskers.

  "Are you sure?" Stamos asked his voice husky with desire.

  Joy nodded her head. "I need you, Stamos. I love you."

  "Oh God," Stamos moaned. "I didn't know if I'd hear those words from you again."

  "Me neither," Joy admitted. "I want to go to bed."

  "Sleepy are ya?" Stamos teased.

  "Not so much, I want to make love with my husband," she whispered, blowing into his ear. His arms tightened around her as he hurried toward the house.

  Stamos put her on her feet just inside the front door. He looked at her long and hard. "Are you sure?"

  Joy stepped forward and reached up, entwining her fingers in his hair, bringing his face down to her level. Licking her lips, she looked at him. She moved in and nibbled at his bottom lip.

  "Umm. I'm taking that as a yes," Stamos said, as his breathing became heavy. Picking her up, he carried her up to their bedroom.

  "Aren't you going to turn on the light?" she asked, as he laid her on the bed.

  "No time, love. I need you now."

  Joy smiled. "Then why are we still dressed?"

  Stamos laughed. "Hell if I know." He removed her clothes.

  He acted as though he was unwrapping a precious present and Joy felt cherished. Reaching up she unbuttoned his shirt and started on his belt buckle. She found Stamos' hands already there.

  "God you are beautiful," he groaned.

  "It's dark."

  "I can see you in the moonlight. A sight to behold."

  "Really?" she asked, not quite believing him.

  "Believe me."

  Looking into Stamos' eyes, she could see his soul. He loved her.

  Watching her sleep humbled Stamos. Her reaction, her passion, far exceeded anything he could have hoped. It also scared him. How long would it last? Only until she got skittish again? Would she pull away again and hide her emotions? She had the ability to push her feelings so deep and far inside that there had been times he didn't think he'd have his wife back. This last time, since she went back to prison, had been hell. He understood, but he didn't know if his heart could take her rejection again.

  He wondered if she was pleased that she carried his child. Joy never brought up the subject. She treated Dillon so lovingly. Something was a bit off. Oh hell, who was he fooling? Everything has seemed off since he opened that door and found her standing there.

  Maybe she didn't want his child. Maybe she didn't want to tie herself to him any tighter. Stamos sighed, he didn't know what to think. All he was doing was torturing himself with doubts. Hadn't they just made love?

  He felt so protective of her. She could hold her own, but she wasn't alone anymore. She was his to protect.

  The blanket had slipped down so that it just covered Joy's delicious breasts. So many scars. So many bruises. Damn her father. How could a father put a hit on his own daughter? He knew he was missing the key to the whole sordid mess. Money is a good motive, but in this case, there had to be more to it. He could feel it in his gut.

  Joy stirred and cried out in her sleep. She quieted when Stamos drew her against him, tucking her head under his chin. He wrapped his arms around her. Sighing, Joy settled down. Stamos wished he could wake her and make love to her again, but she needed her sleep. She was carrying his child. Eventually slumber claimed him.

  Joy held Dillon. She had to make sure he didn't pull at her bandaged cheek. So far, she'd been able to distract him. Hearing a truck drive up, Joy eagerly went out the door hoping it was Bea and Callie. She'd been feeling uncertain since waking up alone. Stamos had been AWOL all morning. His absence made her nervous.

  Smiling, she walked out to the front porch. Bea got out of the truck looking none too happy.

  "You'd better go reassure your friend," she said. She took Dillon and went into the house.

  Confused, Joy walked toward the truck and was surprised to see Garrett driving. "Hi guys."

  "Tell her," Garrett told Callie.

  Callie's blue eyes looked defiant as she shifted her gaze from Joy to her husband. Sighing she turned toward Joy. "I can't stay. I know you need me, but my husband here is being a jack--"

  "Now just a darn second," Garrett objected. "Listen Joy, Wonder Woman can't play today."

  "Oh, for God's sake," Callie exclaimed, with fire in her eyes.

  "Callie left those munchkins with me all day yesterday. I have a lot of work to do. I don't mind a day here or there, but I really have things that need to be done today."

  "Listen, don't fight on my account. Callie, I understand, I'm married to a rancher too. Who is watching Rose and Aiden now?"

  "Old Henry," Garrett said, trying not to laugh.

  "Y'all better get home. Your twins go running in different directions," Joy said good naturedly, trying to cut the tension.

  "See, I told you they do that," Garrett insisted.

  "Joy, you call me if you need me. If there is a will, there is a way."

  "Bye, Joy." Garrett turned the truck around and sped down the drive.

  Joy watched them drive away. They were a good couple, even when they disagreed. The image of Old Henry trying to corral those twins had Joy laughing by the time she went back to the house.

  Chapter Eleven

  The old wooden clock in the kitchen tic-tocked incessantly all morning. It had never bothered Joy before, but today she was aware of each movement of the second hand. Bea, bless her heart, was busy chatting away about pie making. Joy just smiled and nodded.

  Dillon napped and Joy wanted to jump out of her skin. Still she waited for Stamos to come home. Her stomach was a mess, all tied in knots. Why had he left without saying goodbye? What happened to a kiss in the morning?

  Wringing her hands, she wanted to weep. Damn hormones, they made her feel uneasy. They made her feel, and that alone was making her crazy. Where was Stamos? Did he regret last night?

  "Joy, the clock isn't going to move any faster with you watching it," Bea told her.

  Joy gave her a brief smile. "You're right. I just wonder where Stamos went."

  "Why not call him? He carries one of those high-tech phones."

  Joy just shook her head. She'd thought of that already, but decided that if he wanted to talk to her he would have called. It became obvious to her that he didn't want to talk to her, or kiss her.

  Taking a deep breath, Joy tried to put him out of her mind. She looked around the old worn kitchen and smiled. It was her favorite room in the house. Stamos hadn't gotten around to remodeling it yet and she hoped he wouldn't. The wood counters had names carved into them by a not so sharp jack-knife. Joy often wondered if someone had caught hell for doing it. All the appliances were on their last legs, but for now, they worked. Bea seemed happy enough with the kitchen. She often remarked how big it was.

  Where was Stamos? The doubts became too much for her. Joy went into their bedroom and sat on the bed, pulling his pillow to her. She smelled the pillow and closed her eyes. It smelled of him -- sexy, clean, and leather.

  Pregnancy didn't agree with her. The baby was turning her into a weak ninny and she couldn't stand it. Looking in the mirror, Joy examined her face. She looked the same on the outside. There was no sign of the uncertain pansy that she had become on the inside. In fact, she felt like a crazy shrew on top of it all.

  Hearing a truck door slam, Joy hurried downstairs. She hoped to have Stamos to herself for a while, but the closing of other truck doors burst her bubble. When she walked into the kitchen, she noticed Hoss and David. Giving them a quick nod, she set her eyes on Stamos.

  He looked at her and then looked away. Where were the tender loving looks from last night? What had she done wrong? He didn't even greet her and there was no good morning kiss.

  "Let's go into my office," he said briskly.

  Joy wasn't sure if the invitation included her.
She followed anyway and sat down on the couch. This time Stamos didn't sit next to her. He leaned against the front of his desk looking angry.

  "Those bastards were here again last night," Stamos said angrily.

  "My--"

  "I have a plan," Stamos stated, cutting Joy off.

  Joy sat back and looked away. Stamos was acting as though she wasn't even in the room. She wished she could turn numb, but it wasn't working. The pain became intense.

  "Let's have it," David Wonder said.

  Hoss smiled, looking just as eager. They seemed to be enjoying their work. Somehow, it made Joy resentful. It wasn't reasonable, but it seemed as though they were getting off on her problems.

  The room was quiet and Joy blushed. They were all looking at her. "What? Did I miss something?"

  "Joy, this is all about you. Pay attention," Stamos said.

  She could see the disgust in his eyes. Cringing, she apologized.

  "I want you to tell Benji how cool all his new spy stuff is."

  "What new spy stuff?"

  "Joy, if you aren't going to help then leave."

  Her eyes began to burn with unshed tears. How could he act this way? What had she done wrong? This Stamos she didn't know. She wanted her husband back. "I'll help in any way I can."

  "I still think we should just keep your wife out of it," Hoss commented, glancing at Joy with a frown.

  "It'll work out better my way. Benji likes Joy."

  Now she knew she had to be imagining things. Stamos had made it sound surprising that Benji would like her. What was going on?

  "Fine, you're the boss. Just let us know where and when," David said.

  Hoss nodded in agreement.

  Funny, she had thought David the broody type. Hoss acted broody today. The room was closing in on her. Too many broad shoulders, she surmised.

  Once again, she'd let her mind wander. She looked up to see Hoss and Davis shaking hands with Stamos. Stamos turned and looked at her. The disappointment in his eyes became too much and tears trailed down her face. Her bandaged cheek stung as her salty tears reached it.

  "Joy?"

  "I have to change this bandage. My face hurts." She pushed against him in her hurry to get out of the office.

  She heard him call her name again, but she couldn't go back. She needed to figure out what she'd done to make Stamos treat her so cruelly.

  Leaning against the door jam, Stamos admitted that he acted like a first class heel. Joy's hands were shaking so hard that she was having trouble with her bandage. He cursed softly and pushed away from the door. He took the bandage out of Joy's hands.

  The look on her face didn't surprise him. It was a mixture of surprise and distrust. "Let me do that."

  Joy just looked at him without saying a word.

  Seeing her sadness, Stamos felt awful. Why couldn't he get anything right? Last night had been so special, too special, and it scared him. She'd left him before and all day he worried that she'd light out again.

  Gently cleaning her wound, Stamos could smell her clean essence. Her scent reminded him of wildflowers. He gazed at her ripe lips, wanting to capture them with his own. Looking into her eyes cured him of that desire.

  Stamos wished he knew the words to make her feel better. His first wife left and Joy had already left him once. Try as he might, he couldn't shake it. He'd work it out, he always did. He just hoped that he didn't kill his marriage in the process.

  "There. All bandaged," he announced, taking a step back.

  "Okay," Joy said woodenly.

  "Joy, I'm sorry. I don't--"

  Joy put her hand up to ward off any more of his words. "I can't talk to you about this right now. I know what you're going to say and right now I'm not strong enough to hear it."

  Stamos wasn't sure what she meant, but he nodded his head and walked out of the room. He didn't know what to say to her. He had a lot of work to do. He hoped to work some of the uneasiness out of him.

  Joy tried to look excited when Benji showed her all of his spy stuff. He had a mirror that could see around corners, which they both used to spy on Bea while she made a pie. Bea knew what was going on, but she played innocent.

  He next showed her his night vision goggles. They both had to go in and out of the windowless bathroom to use them. Benji was pleased as punch.

  "What's this?" Joy asked, looking at a toy car.

  "This is the best. It takes pictures, you know like a movie, and it goes when I punch this button."

  Benji took the remote and next thing Joy knew, the remote controlled car was chasing her. She was glad that she wasn't wearing a dress. She wasn't sure where the camera was, but she hoped it wouldn't be invasive.

  "It is the best," Joy enthused. "But we have to be careful with this one."

  Benji's smile disappeared. "Why?"

  "This could trip a person, or scare a horse even. I'm sure a spy like you knows that already."

  Benji smiled proudly. "Yep."

  "What's this?" Joy asked, picking up a shiny pen.

  "That is a magic pen that writes upside down. Stamos told me to keep it in my pocket all the time," Benji explained seriously.

  "You are lucky to have a pen like that," Joy told him. She knew that it had a microphone and a GPS in it.

  "These night goggles are going to come in handy tonight."

  "Why is that, Benji?"

  "Spies never tell."

  "I guess you're right. I just want you to be safe. I wouldn't want one of my favorite friends hurt."

  Benji puffed out his chest. "I can take care of myself. Stamos has taught me a lot. In prison they called me dumb, but you know what, Joy? I'm not. I can do all kinds of things and I help make this ranch run."

  "Oh, Benji, of course you make this place run. We couldn't do it without you."

  Stamos watched them. He shared a smile with her, until she recalled that she was mad at him. Her smile quickly turned into a frown. Blast him for making her forget.

  His smile turned into a frown too and Joy wondered about it. What a moody man he turned out to be.

  "A lot of cool stuff," Stamos said. He stood next to Joy and took her hand in his.

  Joy was tempted to pull away, but she didn't want to upset Benji. His nearness made her tingle and her heart beat rapidly. Joy tried to conjure up her anger. To her dismay, it was draining out of her.

  "Oh my. Oh my," Bea exclaimed, from the kitchen.

  Stamos pulled Joy along to see what the problem was. They both stood inside the kitchen doorway and laughed.

  Nanny and Nino had somehow gotten into the kitchen and were helping themselves to apples and pie. "How'd they get in here?" Joy asked in amazement.

  "I didn't invite them. I went upstairs to check on the little mister and when I came back down here they were eating my afternoon's work."

  Joy looked at Stamos whose lips were twitching. She tried to look sympathetic to Bea's outrage, but in the end, she couldn't. Joy laughed so she had to hold her stomach. Suddenly she stopped laughing. Something inside her moved. It felt as though there was a butterfly inside her.

  She looked at Stamos, then at Bea. "I'm pregnant," she said in awe.

  Stamos gathered her close to him and kissed her. He picked her up and started walking.

  "Where are we going?"

  "Upstairs to talk. Benji, could you get Nanny and Nino out of the kitchen?"

  "Sure thing, Stamos. You can count on me."

  "Put me down and not on the bed," Joy demanded.

  "Aw, honey, I thought--"

  "That's your problem. You are either thinking wrong or you are thoughtless."

  Stamos put her down turning her to face him. Her hazel eyes were blazing. "Okay, I'll bite, what's wrong? Is it your hormones?"

  Joy marched over to the door and held it open. "Bye."

  "What's wrong, Joy? I guess I don't understand why you are so damn mad?"

  Joy's face crumbled. "Don't you dare make me cry. I'm running out of bandages for my face." />
  "You don't want the baby?" Stamos asked, feeling put out.

  Joy touched her abdomen and her look of awe came back, but she didn't look at him.

  "If it's not the baby then what is your problem?"

  Joy marched up to Stamos. "My problem is you -- you big jerk."

  Stamos tried to put his arms around her.

  "Don't touch me. It doesn't mean anything when you touch me."

  Stamos gave her a hard look. Granted he'd been busy all day, but he didn't deserve this. "Let's start over. Tell me what is wrong. Tell me what I did to make you so angry." Stamos sat on the side of the bed.

  Joy looked at him. She stared, trying to read him. She opened her mouth starting to speak, and quickly closed it again. She sighed deeply and immense hurt showed in her eyes.

  "Am I so insensitive that I hurt you and don't know about it?"

  Joy looked away then she looked into his eyes. Her face softened briefly, and then it was full of anger again.

  "God knows I have never been able to read a woman's mind. I thought everything was going great between us. My God, last night was wonderful," he said.

  "Was it?" Joy asked, folding her arms before her.

  "All right, Joy, out with it. What major crime did I commit?"

  "You make me feel shrewish. You want to know what you did? It's the way you've acted toward me today. I've never been closer to anyone like last night. This morning I wake up and you've turned cold and hard. No good morning kiss. Hell, not even a smile. So don't go talking to me about hormones or supposed hurts. I am hurt."

  Stamos got up off the bed. "Joy..." He walked toward her. "I'm sorry. I'm a buffoon." He stood in front of her, but not too close. He wanted to give her room. "I've, well, oh hell. Part of me is ecstatic about last night and part of me is scared to death."