Lone Star Joy

by Kathleen Ball

  Stamos smiled, put his hand on her abdomen and held it there.

  Joy was amazed at how his hand covered her whole midsection. It felt amazingly intimate to have him touching her there, waiting for the baby to move. "Boy or girl?"

  "Hell, I don't care. Kids are kids. You just love them whatever they are."

  Tears streamed down her face, and Stamos looked concerned.

  "What? Did I say something wrong?" he asked.

  "No, you big hearted man. It's your beautiful words making me cry. I love you. All those years of loneliness brought me to you. I doubted it for a long time, but now I believe that there is a God."

  Running her fingers over his face, Joy could feel his strength, not just physical strength, but inner strength. "I feel as though my heart has been in a vise for so long. You set it free. I don't feel the need to sit with my back to the wall or be on guard at all times."

  Stamos took her hand in his and kissed her fingers.

  "I have George to thank for believing in me. I'd been alone for so long that I really didn't believe he meant to help me. I figured there would be a price."

  "There are good people in this world." Stamos kissed her palm, making her shiver.

  "I know that now. I have a husband, a son, a baby on the way, friends..." Joy sniffled, shaking her head. "I'm amazed. I spent day after day, year after year alone. Totally alone. It's hard to fathom that I've been given such gifts."

  "You know what?"

  "What?" Joy asked.

  "You talk too much, woman." Stamos kissed the side of her neck, causing her to giggle.

  "I just giggled. Now I know I've gone off the deep end."

  "Music to my ears," Stamos said, grinning at her. "Want to fool around?"

  Joy pulled his head down, kissing him deeply, lovingly. "Uh oh," she said pushing him away. "Your baby is making me sick." Joy jumped off the bed and ran for the bathroom.

  "How come it's my baby when you're sick?" Stamos yelled out, teasing her.

  Stamos sat at the kitchen table trying to entertain all three children, while Callie was upstairs with Joy. He wanted to be the one to help, but Callie pushed him out of the way and walked into the bathroom, shutting the door in his face. "Go watch the children," she had yelled through the door.

  Rose was drinking milk and making it come out her nose. Dillon laughed while Aidan started throwing cereal on the floor.

  "Stamos, weren't you watching them?" Callie asked, standing over him with her hands on her hips.

  "Yes."

  "Well?"

  "I don't get why you're mad."

  "Men. I just don't understand you. Just who do you think has to clean all this mess up?" she demanded, her eyes full of humor.

  "You?"

  "No way, cowboy." She laughed, handing him the broom. "Start with the cereal."

  Joy when she spotted him. "I don't think I've ever seen you with a broom before."

  "It's not a sight to get used to," he warned.

  "Good lord, sit down Joy," Callie demanded.

  "I'm fine."

  Stamos tried not to laugh, but he couldn't help himself. "Better do as she says or it's housework for you."

  Stamos' heart grew, watching her smile. That was all he wanted to do for the rest of his life. He wanted Joy to smile.

  Three days later, they were driving home. It surprised her that Callie hadn't been there to say goodbye. Luckily, Joy had thanked her for her hospitality the night before.

  It wasn't a far drive and Joy was filled with a sense of excitement and dread. She wanted to be home with her family, but knowing that Bailey had been shot in the house and Ida in the barn, was in the back of her mind. Glancing at Stamos, she felt safe. He was her rock, the one that kept her sane.

  They were almost to the turnoff and Joy thought about all the blood that must be in the house. "Will Bea be coming home today or tomorrow?"

  "You know, I forgot to ask. She seems to be having a great visit with her sister."

  Joy nodded absently. Well first she'd get the blood off the floor. Then her thoughts drifted as car after car came into view. Someone at the ranch was having a party. Oh no, she didn't want any of the men to get into trouble over it.

  Joy looked at Stamos, waiting for his frown, but it never happened. Something strange was going on and she just didn't have the emotional energy to ask what. They must have invited women too, she mused, noticing that not all the vehicles were pickups.

  Stamos parked the truck and winked at Joy. "I know you're tired, my love, but the good folks of Lasso Springs wanted to make sure the house was clean for our return."

  Joy smiled and kissed his cheek. "Well, cowboy, let's go greet our friends." Joy bounded out of the truck and reached for Dillon's car seat. It took a lot of practice to get him in and out of the contraption, but she finally got it down.

  Stamos put his arms around her shoulder, guiding them all toward the house. It puzzled Joy that no one had come out to greet them.

  Walking into the house, Joy held her breath. She hoped the coppery smell of blood was gone. Tears filled her eyes at the sight of the blue and pink decorations. A baby shower. Joy looked questioning at Stamos.

  "Yes it's for you and the baby."

  "Wow."

  "Well finally. Everyone, the guests of honor are here," Harriett announced, her voice shrill and her long black wig off center.

  "Where is my Bobby?" Mable asked as she hurried toward the couple and edged her way in front of Harriett, giving her a dirty look. "My Bobby is the most important person here. He should greet the guests of honor first."

  "Don't you start with me, Mable. I own my own business. I'm important," Harriet yelled, indignantly.

  "Ladies you're scaring Dillon," Stamos told them.

  They both stopped and made silent Os with their mouths.

  "Just look at him, Mable, isn't he cute?" Harriet asked.

  "Almost as cute as my Bobby," Mable answered.

  Callie came rushing toward the group. "Hells bells, there you are. Come on, we have presents to open and cake to eat."

  Stamos took a step back. "Well, if you ladies will excuse me, I'll let you have your little hen party."

  Callie laughed. "Not a chance, this is one of those him and her baby showers."

  Joy almost laughed at the surprise on Stamos' face. "Come on, cowboy, let's join the party.

  Looking up at the Texas sky, Joy felt tempted to try to jump and grab the moon. It looked so huge and illuminated. She didn't need the moon. She loved the man who hung the moon, at least for her. Autumn was in full force. The colors of the leaves were a kaleidoscope of reds, yellows, and oranges. A Texas breeze shook the leaves, making them sound like rain.

  Taking a deep breath of the cool crisp air, Joy was thankful. George had told her that he had been working on her behalf to clear her name. He was optimistic that it would be before Christmas. What a present that would be, she mused.

  The front door opened and closed, Joy didn't have to turn around to know it was Stamos. He walked up behind her, put his arms around her middle, and kissed her neck causing her to shiver.

  "What are you thinking about?"

  "Just how lucky I am. I have you and Dillon and such great friends."

  Stamos nuzzled her neck. "We have you. Dillon and I are the lucky ones."

  Joy turned in his arms and looked up into his moonlit eyes. The dark pools, filled with so much love, humbled her. Framing his strong face in her small hands, she smiled. "You gave me my life back, thank you."

  "It'll be a new life, filled with picnics, and diaper changing," he teased, leaning down to kiss her.

  As always, Joy melted into him. Her body relaxed against him as she returned his passion. It felt too good to be in his arms.

  Taking a step back, she turned serious. "George thinks he can get my name cleared."

  Stamos took her hand and led her to the porch swing. They sat together in silence for a while.

  "It doesn't matter anymore, Joy."


  "Still, it would be nice. I want the world to know that I didn't kill Daisy. I still can't believe Jaime killed her and told Ida that I did it. I still don't understand the whole thing."

  Stamos put his comforting arms around her. "According to George, Daisy did plan to fake her death. Your father was to collect the money and they were going to leave the country. Ida learned of the plan and wanted in. I guess Daisy must have told her no. Ida met up with Jaime and fell in love with him."

  "I don't remember any mention of Ida back then."

  "I know, it's very strange. I almost have the feeling that Ida was really Daisy's daughter. Maybe Daisy figured your father wouldn't marry her if she had a grown daughter. Who knows? George is looking into that angle."

  Joy looked at him in surprise. "Wow. So somehow Jaime was sleeping with Ida and Daisy?"

  "Yes. I think Ida found out and planned to kill Daisy herself. There is some indication that she might have been the one to plant all the evidence against you. We don't know if Jaime helped her or not, but it looks like he did."

  "I guess we'll never know the whole story," Joy commented.

  "We might, if Jaime talks."

  Joy snuggled against Stamos. "I don't care anymore. They all put me in jail and left me to rot. They are all to blame. I never want to see Jaime again."

  "I think it's time to get you to bed." Stamos stood up and offered his hand to Joy.

  "Mmm, bed sounds just heavenly." Joy smiled at him giving him what she hoped to be a sexy smile.

  "Just bed. You need your sleep."

  "Really?" Joy frowned at him and experienced great disappointment when he nodded his head.

  Tears poured down her face again. Tomorrow was Thanksgiving and she had every reason to feel grateful. Jaime confessed, but Joy didn't want to know the details, at least not now. She should have been ecstatic, instead she was dying inside.

  Stamos hadn't made love to her in over a month. It was inconceivable to her. Feeling stupid, Joy remembered all the new lingerie she bought in the hope of enticing her husband. Stamos would just look mad and stomp away, leaving Joy to feel ashamed.

  She had gained weight, but she was pregnant. Gone were the tender smiles, the long looks, and the constant touching. Joy bore it in silence. She didn't want anyone to know that Stamos found her unattractive. It was breaking her heart though. It was being chipped painfully away, day by day.

  Oh, she knew that others suspected something was wrong. She could see their wondering looks. It was her problem, she'd suffer it, but it hurt, God it hurt so bad. What had she done? Was she so repulsive?

  Stamos came to bed late and rose early. She knew he hoped to avoid her. Joy thought she had known all about loneliness, but this was far worse. It was a torture she wasn't sure she could endure much longer.

  Drying her tears, she washed her face. She had a doctor's appointment. She was going alone. That hurt too.

  Walking through the kitchen, Joy leaned down, kissed Dillon on his cheek, and gave Bea a weak smile. She hated the pity on Bea's face. She hurried to the truck and took off.

  The doctor knew she was upset, but she didn't want to talk about it. He said that everything looked fine. He wanted her to get more rest. He didn't like the circles under her eyes.

  Joy stood outside the doctor's office. She didn't want to return home. She couldn't go to Callie's, it would be too humiliating. She had nowhere to go. Her heart sank.

  Joy decided to go home. She didn't know very much about relationships, but she needed to end this torture one way or another. It'd become too hard to bear. Getting into the truck, she shook her head. It dawned on her that until her name was cleared, she had no other option but to stay at the ranch.

  If Stamos was going to be a mean old hard ass, then she was going to bunk in with the other cowboys. See if that made a difference to mister 'don't come near me' Walker. Two could play at his game.

  Joy decided that she needed to confront Stamos right away. Avoiding the house and Bea's pitiful concern, Joy marched to the barn. Benji was hard at work, mucking out the stalls. Stamos was nowhere around.

  "Hi, Joy."

  "Hey, Benji," Joy greeted with a smile.

  "Guess what?"

  "Hmmm. I don't know. Why don't you just tell me?"

  "Okay." Benji looked around. "Are we alone?"

  Joy nodded.

  "Stamos got you something. It's out back."

  Joy tilted her head and stared at Benji. "Stamos is out back?"

  "Yes he's out there with--"

  "Benji," Stamos shouted.

  Benji gave him a sheepish look. "Sorry, Boss, but--"

  "No buts, if you like you can come show Joy what we got her."

  "We?" Benji asked, excited.

  "Yes, we," Stamos answered smiling, but he was watching Joy the whole time.

  Stamos stood before her and took her hand. Joy looked down and snatched it away. Her hurt went too deep to be fixed with a smile.

  Stamos frowned, but walked toward the back of the barn without looking back.

  Joy stood in place for a minute feeling indecisive. Benji grabbed her hand and pulled. "Come on we have to go see."

  Joy followed him to the back of the barn and out the back door. The door opened into one of the many corrals on the property.

  Joy saw her present, a beautiful pale Palomino. She was the most beautiful horse Joy had ever seen. She couldn't move. She stared at the horse then at Stamos.

  "Do you like it, Joy. Do you?" Benji asked happily.

  Joy nodded. "It's the nicest gift I ever received," she told him, her voice quavering.

  "We did good, Boss."

  "Looks that way," Stamos said softly.

  "I can't ride her," Joy told him.

  Stamos nodded. "You can after the baby is born."

  Joy didn't answer him. She slowly made her way to the mare, her mare. A smile spread across her face as the horse came toward her. Joy put out her hand and the mare put her nose in it, nickering lightly.

  Stamos walked to her side and patted the horse's neck. "What are you going to name her?"

  "Buttercup."

  "No, really."

  "Yes, really."

  Benji laughed. "It's a girly name isn't it, Boss?"

  "You could say that," Stamos replied.

  Joy looked up at Stamos. His face looked taut and he frowned. His eyes looked intense. "I can change the name..."

  "No, honey," Stamos said, looking into her eyes. He gave her one of his slow sexy grins. "You can call her anything you want."

  "Is it time for me to skedaddle?" Benji asked.

  Stamos didn't take his eyes off Joy, he just nodded.

  Joy took a deep breath. "Is this my consolation prize?"

  "What does that mean?"

  "Buttercup is supposed to take your place."

  Stamos looked confused.

  "You're not my best friend anymore. I take it you gave me Buttercup to replace you."

  "What in God's name are you talking about? I love you. Of course you're my best friend."

  "Nope, sorry bucko, you've been replaced. Maybe Buttercup won't shy away from my touch. Maybe she will listen to my hopes and fears. May she will give the affection I've been miserably lacking this past month. Maybe..."

  Stamos drew her into his arms. Joy put up a token fight, then relaxed against him.

  "Don't cry, sweetheart. I never meant to hurt you."

  "But you did," she sobbed.

  Stamos' arms felt comforting as they stroked her back. She wanted to relish in his love, but it was false. She pushed him away. "It's too late." Stamos looked stunned, but she couldn't help it. "You've avoided me like the plague. You made me the fool, dressing up in sexy nightgowns to entice you. I've never been so hurt or ashamed in my life."

  "Oh God, Joy. I should have understood. I thought I was doing you a favor by leaving you alone. The doctor told me to let you rest and he said no sex. He didn't tell you?"

  Joy shook her head.
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  "Oh hell. It's been the hardest thing I've had to do. You draw me. I'm a moth to your flame. I had to stay away. You tempted me at every turn and I was afraid I'd lose control."

  Joy walked into Stamos' open arms. "You big ox, why didn't you tell me?"

  "I thought you knew."

  "Well I didn't."

  "I know that now."

  Joy snuggled against him. "You have a lot of making up to do, you and The Stamos."

  "I don't think it's a good idea."

  "The doctor said I could resume normal activities. Now I know what he meant." Joy melted against him. "I can feel The Stamos wanting to make things up."

  "You are one crazy woman," Stamos said, as he swung her up into his arms. "I think a whole day of making up is in order. I love you Joy."

  Joy smiled at him. "I love you too, now let's get to that making up."

  "Yes, Ma'am."

  Epilogue

  The courtroom was silent, eerily silent as they waited for the judge. Joy looked behind her and smiled at Stamos. He didn't look worried, but she was, immensely so.

  It had been a long few months. There was so much paperwork involved and it had her head spinning. Clasping her shaking hands, Joy tried to appear calm. There was so much riding on the judge's decision. He could just as easily refuse to grant her wishes. Worst-case scenario would be that he didn't think she should be out on work release and put her back into jail.

  It had been a hard night last night, filled with emotion. There was every chance that she could be taken away without being able to say goodbye. Her heart squeezed tight.

  This time she wasn't sure if she could survive prison. She'd changed so much since she'd arrived at the Walker Ranch. She had softened and she had lost her edge. Stamos' love and belief had done it to her. She had enjoyed it, cherished it while it lasted.

  Looking back again, she watched Bea and Garrett. Callie was taking care of the children. The children, her heart clenched, would she be able to hold her babies again?

  Everyone had thought it was cut and dry and going to court would just be a token requirement until they had gotten word last night from her lawyer that the judge didn't think it was an easy decision. He wanted to examine all the evidence. He wasn't convinced that she was not guilty.