In His Place: Sonic Idols Book #2

by Lisa J. Hobman

  The American girl was quite pretty, really. I shook her hand firmly. “And you’re at my kit because…?â€�

  She curled up her lip at me as if it was obvious why she was there. “Drum tech?â€�

  “Right. Of course. I didn’t realise I was getting a new tech. What happened to Andy?â€�

  She placed her hands on her hips. “Didn’t Den tell you? The other crew bailed to tour with Angel and the Fallen.â€�

  I nodded. “Well, yeah, he said the crew had gone but I didn’t think Andy would go too. Shit.â€�

  She pursed her lips and glanced at the floor. “Sorry to disappoint. But I’m good. Worked with a few tribute bands back home and then got this gig on the back of my recommendations. I won’t let you down, Si. I promise.â€�

  I held up my hand as guilt needled at me. “No, no. I don’t mean anything by it. It’s just me and Andy go way back. Change is a bit of a pain. Shit, that sounded awful. I didn’t mean you were a pain. I mean, I don’t know you yet. You might be really great. You probably are great. I just…â€� I rolled my eyes. “I should stop talking, eh?â€�

  Her cheeks coloured bright red and she nodded. “Probably.â€� She laughed. “We’ll be fine. I know what I’m doing. Been playing since I was ten so I’m up to scratch. And I’ve chatted to Andy via email so I know what you like and don’t like. Although… he did say I should watch out for you playing tricks on me. He said something about you asking me to get champagne for you and that I should refuse?â€� She tilted her head in confusion.

  I laughed. “Don’t worry. I’ve been given a lecture already about playing tricks on the new crew. I think you’re safe.â€� She grinned and nodded. I stepped forward, raised my eyebrows, and whispered. “Or are you?â€�

  The soundcheck went well. And just as she had insisted she would, Bobbie had got the kit just right. I was impressed. I didn’t tell her that though. I needed her to be on top of her game the whole time and not slacking in any way. A little too much encouragement could instigate complacency, after all.

  ğŸ�µğŸ�µğŸ�µ

  Later on, with the Arena Halle, Berlin full to capacity, we gathered backstage as we always did, and Chris growled out his motivational speech as we huddled. “Listen to that fucking crowd, guys! Let’s go and remind them why we’re fucking number one in the fucking world!â€�

  It may have been a bit cheesy but it always did the trick. We all whooped and cheered, slapped each other on the back, and made our way to the stage with huge grins and took our places before the lights went up.

  The tour began with a bang.

  The crowds loved us and greeted us like long lost friends. Being on stage and feeling the thud of the base drum vibrating throughout my whole body was like coming home. It was a familiar feeling I could cling to, and I knew it would cause me no pain. I knew where I was with the band and my skins. No judgement. No unrequited feelings. Just rhythm, sweat, and adrenaline.

  Night after night I sat there, shirtless and wet through, beating the hell out of my kit and just loving playing again. It was in those moments that Allie’s memory let me be. For the most part, anyway. But then, back in my hotel room or on the tour bus, thoughts of her crept back in. I had no right to miss her. None. In fact, I should have counted myself a lucky bastard. Let’s face it, it’s not every day you get to experience being with the one you love and never thought you could have. That brief glimpse of hope is something often totally missed by those in my position. But thinking about it, maybe that actually made it worse. The problem was, I had tasted her lips and that meant I now knew what I was missing.

  Thankfully, Chris had left me alone and hadn’t bombarded me with questions about Allie, and I was relieved for that fact. I didn’t need to keep rehashing it out loud. It was bad enough living with the thoughts in my head.

  One particularly restless night, I ended up in the basement gym of the hotel, pumping iron in the hope that I’d release some of the tension I’d been carrying in my shoulders.

  A familiar voice startled me. “So, how did you end things?â€�

  I dropped the bar back into the holder and sat to find Chris, arms folded, standing before me with a furrow of concern on his brow.

  Ugh. Here we go. I thought his silence was too good to be true. I shrugged. “It was over before it started, mate.â€�

  “How many times did you shag her?â€�

  I winced at his choice of words. “Fuck, Chris. She’s not some tart for God’s sakeâ€�

  He stepped towards me. “I’m well aware of what and who she is, Si. She was Joe’s woman. You need to leave well alone or you’ll end up getting hurt. Just fuck some other babes and you’ll soon forget her. That’s what I do.â€�

  I laughed derisively. “Yeah. Because you’ve loved and lost, eh?â€� I shook my head. “Chris Malham, the great fuck ‘em and forget ‘em king.â€�

  I watched as a distinct appearance of hurt temporarily clouded his eyes. “Hey, you know fuck all about my love life, Delaney. Maybe we’ve all loved someone we shouldn’t.â€�

  His almost admission took me by surprise. “You’ve loved someone?â€� Oh, fuck. My heart leapt in my chest and I swallowed down the nausea that had ridden up my gullet. “Did… did you fall for Allie too?â€�

  He held up his hands and scrunched his face. “No. Jeez, Si, Absolutely not. Forget I said anything. But move on, mate. It was never going anywhere with you and her.â€�

  I nodded. “You’re right. I thought I could get her out of my system though, Chris. But she’s still in here.â€� I pointed to my head. Then, after a pause, I pointed to my chest. “And here.â€�

  He sighed heavily. “Shit. You really do love her, eh? It’s not just you coveting something Joe had and you didn’t?â€�

  Sadness weighed heavily on my shoulders. Heavier than any of the weights I had just been lifting. “No. I really do love her.â€�

  He plonked himself down beside me on the bench and slapped me lightly on the back. “And I’m guessing it’s all one-sided?â€� I nodded. “That’s fucking shit, mate.â€�

  “You got that right.â€�

  Chapter 21

  Allie

  *

  I had never been one for keeping up with the news—especially the gossip pages. But since Si left for Germany, I had watched like a hawk. Something inside me just needed to know if he was okay. But secretly, I think I was keeping an eye open for photos of him with other women. Why the hell that was of interest to me, I have no idea. But every time Sonic Idols popped up on the news or anything connected to them showed up on my social network feed, I had to click on it and read. It was a little disconcerting—my new interest in the love life of my deceased fiancé’s younger brother—but it didn’t stop me looking.

  The German Music Awards took place whilst the guys were on tour over there and Sonic Idols were up for best rock video for their single “Who’s Loving You Nowâ€�. I watched the following afternoon when the show was repeated and I was so excited that they won. I watched with pride as Si walked up with the rest of the band to collect the award. He looked so shy and a sense of melancholy descended over me. I had never really paid much attention to the lyrics, but for some reason, everything now reminded me of him. Crazy, I know.

  When it was his turn to speak, he leaned down into the mic, his cheeks aflame. “Erm… cheers, guys. This really does mean a lot. Especially seeing as I’m the Neanderthal who bangs about on stuff at the back whilst the talented blokes do all the work.â€� A rumble of “Awwwsâ€� and laughter traversed th
e audience at his self-deprecation. He waved and nodded. “Oh, and hello Mum and Dad!� Another laugh followed by a loud raucous cheer and applause.

  The MC announced the video and the lights went down as the huge screen at the back of the stage sprang to life. The song was a little different to their usual stuff, being a rock ballad. The arty black and white video showed the guys on stage, playing in slow motion. A shirtless Si’s biceps bulged as he hit the snare drum and flung his head back, his wet hair arcing above him. Loud whistles and screams could be heard over the track.

  I was mesmerised.

  There were some shots of them interspersed into the film where attractive actresses were playing their girlfriends. Oddly enough, Nick was the only one of the band who didn’t have a female companion, and I couldn’t help wondering why. But for some reason, the fact that Si had some scantily clad blonde draped all over him made me angry. She was beautiful. Slim, with perfect breasts, full lips, and long legs. Pretty much everything I wasn’t.

  Urgh! Stop it, Allie, for goodness sake!

  Insecurity was something I had never suffered from. Possibly because I hadn’t been close enough to anyone for it to be an issue since Joe. So why the hell I was suddenly very self-aware, I had no idea.

  Deciding I needed respite from myself, I changed into my jogging gear and stuck in my earbuds. I scrolled right past the Sonic Idols albums on my playlist and settled on The Prodigy’s “The Fat of the Landâ€� and headed out for some much-needed fresh air.

  My feet pounded the hardened soil in time with “Breatheâ€�, and I lost myself in the rhythm of my own quickening breaths. I rounded the corner of the tree-lined lane and suddenly I was flying through the air with a panicked scream as my earbuds were yanked from my ears.

  “Fuck! Fuck, Tyler, no! You stupid dog!â€� A voice I didn’t recognise shouted from close by. “I’m so sorry! Are you okay?â€�

  I looked up from my position on all fours in the dirt to see a horrified expression on the face of the voice’s owner—a tall, blonde, clean cut man. A giddy chocolate-coloured Labrador skipped around, trying to lick my face.

  My heart thumped at my ribs and the smarting in my knees became evident as I tried to stand up. “Erm… I think I’ll live,â€� I replied, out of breath.

  “Here, let me help you. He’s such a bloody excitable thing. He slipped his lead again. I was chasing him when he legged you up. I’m really, really sorry.â€� The man gripped my hand and helped me to my feet. I winced as the dirt from the track scratched into the grazed skin of my palms. “Oh, shit. You’re bleeding. And your leggings are ripped. Jeez, I feel so awful. Do you live nearby? Can I help you home?â€�

  I shook my head and waved a bloody hand dismissively. “Don’t worry, it’s fine. I’ll be fine. It’s not far.â€�

  “No, come on. It’s the least I can do. Where do you stay?â€�

  I nodded toward my cottage. “Just back along the track. I can manage though. Honestly.â€�

  He reattached the dog’s lead and held his arm out. “No, I insist. Come on. Let’s go get those cuts cleaned up. I’m Evan, by the way.â€�

  I glanced up at the man who I guessed was a few years my senior and smiled briefly. “Allie.â€�

  “Good to meet you, Allie. Although, I wish it hadn’t been down to my stupid dog almost killing you.â€�

  Chapter 22

  Si

  *

  Berlin, Frankfurt, and Munich were all absolutely amazing. Sell out arenas with thousands of happy faces all wearing our band T-shirts, singing our songs, and screaming our names. The tour bus already stank like a sweaty jockstrap and sleeping on my rock-hard bunk was playing havoc with my shoulders. But I was somehow happy.

  Late nights on the bus consisted of dirty stories, Chris’s drummer jokes, too much beer and junk food, with a little song writing and jamming thrown in for good measure. It was hard to believe we were coming to the end of the German leg of the tour. It would be on to Belgium next, although there had been a whisper about a headlining gig at a big Scottish festival. My ears had pricked up when I heard Den on the phone. Scotland would mean we’d be in the same country as Allie. Excitement and a little fear were building in my stomach at the mere thought of it. But nothing was definite so I would have to try and put it out of my mind. Yeah, right. ‘Cause that would be easy.

  By the time we arrived in Cologne it was like we had never been away from touring. Chris had racked up his usual bevy of beauties, and Nick was finally beginning to smile more often. Den was getting on remarkably well with Roger, the new head lighting tech, and I had caught him blushing as they spoke, despite his orange hue. Maybe there was a possible romance on the horizon between the two fifty-somethings. I hoped so. Den deserved to meet someone who understood the demands of his job.

  Stig had taken a shine to Den’s new assistant, Nelly, and they had been spending a lot of time together, chatting in corners. She was very tactile and was forever stroking his arm. It was quite cute but served to remind me of the fact I was currently alone.

  And me? Well, I’d been having a whale of a time. I’d hardly thought about Allie. Okay, maybe that last part is a lie. But I was trying not to think about her and that counts, doesn’t it?

  ğŸ�µğŸ�µğŸ�µ

  We had a rare free day to ourselves and a night when we weren’t playing, so Den had checked us into a plush hotel the night before and the guys had all gone their separate ways to do some sightseeing. Chris and Nick had gone to find the chocolate museum, and Stig and Nelly were going shopping. Den and Roger had arranged to go out for lunch, and I was left to decide what I would do with my own free time. I had just showered and was contemplating calling home when there was a knock on my hotel room door.

  I opened it to find Bobbie, the drum tech, standing there, hands in the pockets of her leather bomber jacket and shyly stepping from foot to foot.

  She was the last person I had expected to show up. “Hi, Bobbie. What are you doing here? I mean, h-how are you doing?â€�

  She smiled and nodded. “Good. Great. Everyone has gone off to do their own thing, so because I didn’t see you at breakfast… I was… um… just wondering what you were doing today. Thought maybe we could grab a bite to eat and go see the Ludwig Museum or a movie or something if you’re not busy.â€�

  Shit. What do I say to that? “Ah, right. Erm…â€� I cringed. “Actually, I was just going to call my folks back in England and then maybe catch up on some reading. I’m knackered and I think I might just have a day of chilling.â€�

  Her smile faded. “Okay, sure. Whatever. Well, if you change your mind, I’m in two seventy. Just holler.â€� Her cheeks coloured bright pink. “Or, you know, call me. Or… or stop by my room. That’d work too. I mean, seeing as I’m on a different floor I maybe won’t hear you if you holler.â€� I grinned and shook my head at her and she covered her eyes with her hand. “I should stop talking, huh?

  Remembering my bumbling attempts at conversation when we first met, I laughed. “Probably.â€�

  She raised her hand. “Okay, well… see ya.â€� She turned and walked away, chuntering to herself about being a dumbass.

  I chuckled. “See you later, Bobbie.â€� I closed my door and walked over to the phone to call my mum and dad.

  “Hello?â€� My mum’s familiar singsong voice made me smile. I realised how much I missed her.

  “Hi, Mum. It’s me, Si. How are you?â€�

  “Simeon, love. So good to hear from you. We’re all fine here. How are you? How’s Germany? Where are you now?â€�

  I nodded even though she couldn’t see me. “Yeah, I’m
good. Things are going really well. We’re in Cologne just now. We’ve got a free day today so everyone’s gone sightseeing.�

  “Oh, how lovely. I’ve seen Cologne on the telly. It looks gorgeous. What are you planning to do then? Why haven’t you gone sightseeing too?â€�

  “I’m shattered to be honest, Mum. Den booked us a hotel for a couple of nights so I might just have a lazy day of reading. Get some room service and catch up on sleep in a proper bed. The bed here is so bloody comfy and it’s a super king size. I can spread out like a star fish and my feet still don’t dangle off the end!â€�

  She laughed. “Well, you have to make the most of that then.â€�

  “Yeah, my thoughts exactly. Anyway, how’s dad? Keeping out of trouble?â€�

  “Oh, he’s fine. He’s been decorating his office. He’s painted it grey. Can you believe that? Of all the lovely colours he could’ve chosen. I think it looks like the inside of a battleship, but he insists it’s manly.â€� I could imagine her rolling her eyes as she spoke.

  “Maybe you could put some flowery cushions and a fluffy rug in when he’s not looking. Soften it up a bit,â€� I joked.

  “Ooh, now there’s an idea.â€� I wouldn’t put it past her, that’s for sure.

  Knowing what I wanted to ask next, I took a deep breath. “So… have you heard from Allie at all?â€� I tried to sound nonchalant and failed miserably.

  “As a matter of fact, she phoned yesterday. She’s doing really well, love. She’s… erm… met someone, actually. Isn’t… isn’t that lovely?â€� I could sense the trepidation in her voice.

  My stomach plummeted to my feet but I feigned as much positive enthusiasm as I could muster. “She has? Erm… yeah. That’s… that’s great. So, who is he?â€�

  “He’s called Evan McHugh and he’s an accountant. He’s just opened his own business in Kelso. He’s moved there from Dunbar, apparently, after a messy divorce.â€�