The Journey Home

by Linda Ford

  “Then I won’t take you to my parents.” He waited, expecting her to give in.

  “I never asked you to in the first place.” She jerked Blackie away and rode onward.

  Muttering, he caught up and rode at her side. “What do you plan to do?”

  She had no plan, but she wasn’t about to confess it to him. “First, I’ll check and see if a letter has arrived from Harry.” One couldn’t have arrived yet, but she said it airily as if her heart didn’t quake with fear of being on her own. As if she didn’t shudder at the thought of seeing Ratface and Shorty.

  She pushed away her scaredy-cat thoughts. She knew how to work. She’d find someone and throw herself at their mercy. Likely that was what he thought she should do. “You’re right. I’ve been far too compliant and submissive. It’s time I stepped out of my safe little world.” She sucked in hot, dry air. “I’m sure I can find a position somewhere—chambermaid at a hotel, waitress, nanny…” It sounded easy, but she couldn’t imagine walking up to a stranger and asking for work.

  He snorted. “I can just see it. You’ll jump at the first opportunity someone hands you, even if it’s a wolf in sheep’s clothes.”

  She stared straight ahead. Not even in exchange for a promise of rain would she let him see her fear of finding her way in an unfamiliar world. It was his fault she was in this situation. “If you’d just left me waiting for Harry…But no. You had to badger me until I agreed to leave with you, promising I’d be safe with your parents.” She might have left out a few details like being out of water, like having Lother expect she’d marry him, like having the sheriff offer her a ride back to Big Rock. She shuddered. The sheriff actually thought she’d be glad to go with him straight into Lother’s arms.

  Kody rode at her side. “I really don’t have a choice.” He sounded as exasperated as she felt. “I’ll take you to my parents as I promised. What you do after is up to you. But only on one condition—you promise not to tell them about Star.”

  The horses stopped moving as Kody and Charlotte stared at each other, measuring, challenging, considering.

  Charlotte did not want to agree. She understood too well the pain the child would feel when she learned the truth or guessed parts of it. But she couldn’t face riding into a strange town on her own. Her inner turmoil raged for several minutes. Then she nodded. “I’ll leave it to you to tell them.”

  “Fine.”

  She noticed the irrigation ditches and the green fields fed by the life-giving water. If Harry had settled here, life would have been very different for them. Of course, Harry did not have money to buy land in such a prosperous area.

  An hour later, they rose into the outskirts of Favor. She leaned forward. A pulse of life and activity radiated from the town. It had been so long since she’d felt the sense of hope the busy town expressed. She smoothed her hair and gave her dress a good study—wrinkled and dirty from wearing it for days and covered with evidence of the dusty trail. Suddenly she wasn’t anxious to be seen by others. Not in this condition.

  She ducked her head and wished she had a wide-brimmed hat to pull down to hide her face.

  Kody sat up straight, facing ahead. “No point in trying to hide. People will look twice to see who is accompanying the savage.”

  “This has nothing to do with you. I don’t want people to see me so dusty and untidy. Besides, how do you know they think that? Seems being the preacher’s son would prove otherwise.”

  “You might think so.”

  He looked as if a stick had been shoved the length of his spine, so rigid was his posture.

  They passed a big house with a tended yard and picket fence. An older man worked on the flower beds. He glanced up at the sound of their passing. Slowly he straightened, pushed his hat back and stared.

  “Don’t think he’s thinking preacher’s son. Nope. He’s thinking savage. No doubt wondering if you’ve been captured.”

  “Well, I’ve not.” She smiled and waved at the man. “Your flowers are pretty,” she called.

  The man beamed. “Thank you.” He squinted in Kody’s direction. “Aren’t you Kody Douglas?”

  Kody muttered to Charlotte, “You couldn’t just ride on? No. You had to call attention to me being here.” He touched the brim of his hat. “Hello, Mr. Blake.”

  Mr. Blake stared after them as Kody urged Sam forward.

  “Seems like a nice man,” Charlotte said.

  “Huh.”

  “Has he treated you unfairly in the past?” She couldn’t explain why she wanted to goad him. Unless to pay him back for how he pushed at her about sitting in the house waiting for Harry. Seemed like a good enough reason. “Is that the school?” She studied a two-story brick building with wide stairs leading to the double front doors. “I went to a school like that back in Kansas. Did you attend there?”

  “A few years.”

  “You didn’t finish?”

  “Nope.”

  “This have anything to do with being part Indian?”

  “Might have.”

  “I might as well squeeze the sky for water as try talking to you.”

  “Yup.”

  “What are you running from?”

  “Who’s running? Couldn’t go much slower and still call it moving, now could we?”

  She sniffed, annoyed beyond patience that he thought he could drag information from her and make a judgment on it, yet remain tight-lipped when it came to sharing anything about himself. “Some are accused of sitting around waiting for life to happen to them. Others seem to think it’s superior to run from life.”

  They sauntered down Main Street past stately brick buildings. Cars and trucks lined the side of the street. A couple of wagons stood in front of a store. She read the sign: Benson’s Feed and Mercantile. People hurried along the sidewalk. Another horseback rider pulled his mount to the hitching post in front of the post office. Despite her haughty words to Kody, she knew there would be no letter from Harry yet.

  “Isn’t that our friends, Ratface and Shorty?” He directed her gaze toward a pair skulking around the back of the bank. “Think they’re planning to rob the place?”

  Charlotte snorted. “Don’t think they have the brains for anything that sophisticated.”

  The pair disappeared from sight and Charlotte relaxed again.

  “This way.” He turned down a side street.

  She followed. She’d told him so much about herself. She wished she’d learned more about him, but it was too late to prod any more information from him.

  She was about to meet her future.

  Chapter Seven

  Kody took in all the details of the town he hadn’t seen in five years. A new store on Main Street. More houses past where the town used to end. More automobiles. Fewer horses.

  Probably the same attitudes and prejudices.

  He tightened his grip on the reins, forced himself to remain outwardly calm, giving no sign of emotion. Within minutes everyone in town would know he had returned. He steeled himself not to turn and ride away.

  Then there it stood. The home where he’d been loved and welcomed. Emotions—long denied—choked him, clouding his vision. He blinked and stared, noted a bare patch on the roof where the shingles needed repairing. Then he widened his eyes and gave the place a hard look. It could do with a paint job. And an overhanging tree branch threatened the back porch. Strange Pa hadn’t trimmed it. He’d always been mighty particular about such things. John said Pa had been sick. Kody narrowed his eyes. A ready, waiting tension tightened his muscles. What if Pa had died? Or Ma? He had to find out. He jumped from Sam and reached over to help Charlotte off the mare.

  She smoothed her dress and hair. “I’m afraid I don’t look my best. I feel like I’m wearing a coat of dust.”

  “Won’t matter to Ma.” Ma never judged a person by their clothes or their situation.

  Or the color of their skin.

  Not everyone proved so charitable. Ma and Pa had been hurt many times because of comments abo
ut Kody. Many people didn’t understand how they could give a half-breed a home, a name and their love.

  He hesitated at the gate. Why bring that pain back into their lives? He could simply leave Charlotte with instructions to find her way into the house and introduce herself. Ma would welcome her without question. He could jump back on Sam and…

  But he wasn’t strong enough to deny himself a chance to see his parents. To assure himself they were both okay. To receive again their love and acceptance. He despised his weakness.

  The gate squealed a protest and dragged on the ground as he pushed it open. The top hinge needed fixing. His muscles twitched. Something was very, very wrong with the whole picture.

  He waved for Charlotte to follow him and quietly crossed the yard, every nerve at attention, taking in every shadow, every corner. The only sound as they reached the door came from the birds in the trees. His boots echoed on the wooden steps. He paused. Did he knock or burst through the door as he had as a child? Not knowing what awaited him on the other side, he decided to knock.

  The door opened slowly. “Yes?”

  “Ma.” He stepped into full view. “Ma.” He hoped his voice didn’t sound as rough as it felt.

  “Kody, my son.” Her arms went around him in the way he remembered, her hair tickling his cheek, her hands patting his back.

  He hugged her tight, let himself be her boy again for just a few seconds, then pushed away to study her face. Lines had deepened around her eyes, creasing her cheeks. She seemed thinner. Her hair had turned gray before he left home—probably because of the worry he caused her. “Ma, how are you?”

  “Dakota Douglas, it’s been almost five years.” Her voice tightened and tears wet her cheeks.

  Kody didn’t know if he should retreat or wait for the dressing-down he knew he deserved. He chose the latter.

  “Five years, Kody, without a word. I didn’t know if you were even alive. Where have you been?” She shook him gently. “Never mind. You’re here now. An answer to my prayers.” She hugged him again. “It’s so good to have you back.”

  “Ma, I’m not staying.”

  “Why not? This is your home.”

  “It’s better if I leave.”

  Her eyes clouded with what he supposed was sadness. “I guess you have to do what you think best.” She tugged at his arm. “Come in.” Then she saw Charlotte. “You’ve brought company?”

  “Ma, this is Charlotte Porter. She needs someplace to stay until she can join her brother.”

  Ma took Charlotte’s hand and pulled her inside. “Any friend of Kody’s is more than welcome.”

  Charlotte’s expression grew cautious. “We aren’t really friends. He just found me and said—”

  “Well, you’re welcome, anyway.” Ma’s look at Kody suggested he’d somehow been amiss. He couldn’t imagine how. He’d brought Charlotte here despite his reservations—the word again brought a smile to his lips.

  Ma drew them into the kitchen. “Sit down and tell me everything,” she said to Kody. “Wait, I’ll make tea. Everything is better over a cup of tea.” As she bustled around filling the kettle and pulling out teacups, Charlotte went to her side.

  “How can I help, Mrs. Douglas?” She hesitated then in a softer voice, added, “If you’re to provide me shelter, then I intend to repay it by helping as much as I can.”

  Ma gave Charlotte a gentle smile. “I appreciate your offer, but we’ll settle that later. I’m sure there will be lots of ways you can prove yourself useful.”

  Kody stood in the middle of the room, his insides so tight it would have been impossible to bend enough to sit. “Where’s Pa?” He couldn’t imagine how he’d deal with an announcement that something had happened to the man who taught him most everything he knew.

  “Resting. He had a hard night.”

  Kody’s breath went out in a noisy rush. He sat down quickly to hide the relief leaving him weak in the knees. Pa sometimes sat with the sick and dying and troubled. But he didn’t nap long even when he’d missed a night or more of sleep. He’d be striding through the door any minute, calling to Ma to put the kettle on. Kody filled his lungs with heart-calming air for the first time since he’d noticed the disrepair of the house. Pa had been busy, was all.

  Ma poured tea and sat down. “How did you meet Charlotte?”

  Kody filled in the details with some help from Charlotte. Ma laughed as Charlotte described her anger at her brother for leaving her a gun with no ammunition.

  “Sounds to me like you’ve got lots of spunk,” Ma said.

  Kody grinned widely. “You don’t know the half of it.” As he told of Charlotte chasing off the two robbers with the same empty gun, his heart swelled with admiration.

  “I trust God to take care of me and He does,” she said with perfect calm and assurance.

  Good thing she trusted God because it seemed she couldn’t trust her brother. He wondered, not for the first time, what sort of man Harry was. To think of Charlotte there alone, Lother only a mile away. If the man had realized…

  Ma squeezed Charlotte’s hand. “I can truthfully say the same for myself. He has never failed me.” Ma turned to Kody. “I pray you continue to believe it, too.”

  Kody shifted his gaze toward the front-room door, hoping to see his father, but he felt Ma’s expectant waiting. Finally her silence forced him to look back. “Ma, I know what you believe is true. But I’m not sure it’s for me.”

  He wished he could pull the words back as Ma’s expression registered shock, sadness and pain. “Oh, Kody. You once believed. I know you did. What happened? Where have I failed?”

  “Ma, you didn’t fail, but my life just doesn’t fit into neat little packages like yours and Pa’s do.”

  “Are you suggesting we believe because we haven’t faced difficulties?”

  “Of course not. No one has a life without troubles. But you know who you are.” He wished she’d let it go. He didn’t want to hurt her. Nor did he want Charlotte to witness this.

  “You know who you are, too. You are Dakota Douglas. My son. You are loved and special.”

  He sighed. “I’ve never doubted your love. But there are things outside of that. Let’s not discuss it anymore.” He had avoided Charlotte’s eyes, but now sent her what he hoped passed as an apologetic look. When he saw the challenge in her eyes, he doubly wished he’d sidestepped the conversation. He suspected she’d somehow take this whole scenario and twist it to mean something more than it did. Somehow she’d make it about Star. “Where’s Pa? Shouldn’t he be up by now?”

  Ma pushed her chair back and sighed. “I guess it’s time for you to see him.”

  Kody did not like the way Ma’s voice seemed so tired. Something simply wasn’t right.

  “Come along.”

  Charlotte remained seated.

  “You, too,” Ma insisted. She led them past the living room into his parents’ bedroom.

  Pa lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, covered by a patchwork quilt Kody remembered, made of fabric Ma had salvaged from worn-out trousers.

  “Leland, Kody’s home.”

  Pa didn’t move. Didn’t even blink. His skin had never been such a washed-out pasty color, nor his mouth so slack.

  Kody stared. “What’s wrong with him?”

  Ma sat on the edge of the bed and took one of Pa’s hands. “He’s had a stroke. He’s improving every day, though.”

  Kody did not want to know what he’d been like before the improvement.

  “Come,” Ma said. “Sit where he can see you.”

  Kody hesitated. This unresponsive, shrunken man was not his father. He was a stranger, a frightening shell of a man. Looking at him made Kody want to run upstairs to the bed where he’d slept as a child and hide his face in the pillow. Pretend things were exactly as he remembered them. That nothing had changed since he left. But he couldn’t hide from the facts, so he crossed to the bed and sat where Ma indicated.

  His father turned slowly and, with what seemed like gre
at effort, pulled his gaze to Kody. He mumbled something that might have been “Hello.”

  Kody tried not to think of the man his father had been last time he saw him and smiled in spite of the tightness starting in his toes and spiraling upward to the corners of his mouth. “Hello, Pa. It’s been a while.”

  Pa lifted one hand a few inches from the bedcovers and mumbled. Kody thought it sounded like his name. Suddenly his love for this man overcame his shock. He bent over and hugged his father, breathing in the smell of soap and mothballs.

  When he straightened, his father’s cheeks were damp with tears.

  Ma grabbed a hankie and dried them. “He’s so glad to see you. As am I.”

  Pa struggled with wanting to say something. Finally he got out the words, “You stay?”

  Kody wished he didn’t understand his father’s question, but he did. He wished he could give the answer his father wanted, but staying this close to Star made it impossibly hard to pretend his daughter didn’t exist. If people learned she was his, their prejudice would undo the four years of sacrifice he’d already endured.

  Yet how could he leave his parents under these circumstances? “I’ll stay a few days, then I must be on my way.” Long enough to fix the roof and prune the tree, if nothing else.

  He waited until they were back in the kitchen before he bombarded Ma with questions. “When did this happen? How have you managed? Is he going to get better?”

  Ma bustled about pulling potatoes from the bin in the pantry. “It’s been a couple of months now. But he started to have weak spells before that.” She seemed distracted by meal preparations, so Kody waited. He’d get his answers sooner or later.

  Charlotte stood by offering to help.

  Ma gave her a knife and a basin of potatoes. “I don’t mind if you peel these.” She opened the icebox and pulled out an already cooked roast. “I wondered how I’d use this all up when I cooked it yesterday. The Johnsons brought it. People have been so good to us. Even though your father hasn’t been able to perform his preaching duties, many still make sure we have enough.”