His roar of surprise should have made her run in the opposite direction. But she was laughing too hard at the sight of him covered in snow. The giant boulder of snow had collapsed all over his head, and he looked like he should be in an animated movie. She was going to tell him he reminded her of Olaf, but she kept her mouth shut as he rose slowly to his feet, the gleam in his eyes making her take a step back.
“Melody…”
She swallowed hard and stood her ground. She gave him her sweetest smile. “Yes, Finn?”
“Run.”
“Run?” she repeated blankly.
He nodded slowly, taking another step closer to her, his mouth twitching.
She swore under her breath and spun around. She started running as it dawned on her that he was planning on retaliation. She let out a peal of laughter as his hand grazed her jacket before she took off at top speed. “I was the fastest runner in my class,” she yelled, heading for the trees, hoping to lose him in that maze.
She sprinted as fast as she could through the deep snow, laughing and huffing as she tried to outrun him. Not hearing him behind her at all after a minute of running, she took a second to glance over her shoulder and slowed down.
She screamed as Finn appeared from one of the trees in front of her and tackled her into one of the giant mounds of fluffy snow. They were both laughing as they landed. He cushioned her fall, and she landed on top of him.
“Let the records show that even with a messed-up leg, I outran you.”
She dropped her head and laughed against his neck. “This was payback for Monopoly, wasn’t it?”
“No, that’ll be later. That was payback for you dumping a pile of snow all over me.”
She lifted her head so that she could look into his gorgeous eyes. He cupped her face, icy snow on her cheeks making her yelp. But she forgot all of that as he reached up to kiss her. Soon she was lost in him, in the way he made her feel, in the woman she was with him.
“Finn…what are we going to do tomorrow?”
He rested his forehead against hers and groaned, as though he already knew what she was going to say. “I spent the last hour wondering if it would be really rude to invent some kind of excuse so they wouldn’t be able to come. Maybe we have the flu?”
She laughed. “Seriously, though. What are we going to do? Are we still going to go through with our plan?”
He sighed. “Seems kind of stupid now…considering.”
Her heart raced. “Considering?”
He shrugged, his blue eyes steady on hers. “Considering I’m no longer interested in having to fake some kind of breakup, I feel like now, we should do the opposite and pretend we’re not together, just to piss them off and make them think their plan didn’t work.”
Melody burst out laughing, a flood of relief and lightness washing over her. “So, what do we do? Pretend like none of this ever happened and they really don’t know us at all?”
Finn grinned. “Exactly. All we have to do is pretend for three days. I’m sure we’ll have an opportunity to sneak off alone at some point. Three days is a small price to pay so we don’t have to watch them gloat. Then, after they’ve waved good-bye and are out of sight, I’ll slam the door shut, and we can get back to this,” he said, kissing her.
Chapter Ten
Finn shifted slightly, careful not to disturb Melody, who was sleeping, holding onto him like he was her lifeline. And he didn’t mind that. He liked that. He liked that she trusted him enough to let her guard down and tell him, without words, that she trusted him. He knew that was huge for her.
Firelight flickered, and the logs on the fire crackled. He figured it was sometime in the middle of the night. They’d both fallen asleep out here, and maybe it’d been intentional because neither of them wanted to go to bed alone, and going to bed together…wasn’t an option.
He knew what this was, this warmth that flooded him, that followed him around all day; it was Mel. It was his feelings for her. They had come out of nowhere, had knocked him over, and had him wishing that this could go on forever. The day they’d spent together had been one of the best of his life. He hadn’t even minded hanging all the Christmas lights. And that diabolical-looking snowman they’d eventually finished was the greatest thing he’d ever seen. After they’d crafted a wicked expression for the frozen face, he’d run inside to find one of Ben’s nicest scarves and hats and had placed it on the snowman. They’d laughed and joked and kissed and kissed some more then walked back into the house, hand in hand.
They’d had hot chocolate and he’d dumped in half the bag of marshmallows and she’d laughed like he was the funniest man in the world. And she made him feel ten feet tall, because making her laugh was just about the best thing.
He’d challenged her to a rematch of Monopoly after they’d prepared and ate dinner, and she’d kicked his ass, despite all his efforts to distract her. She’d even had enough nerve to do a victory dance, which was doubly painful for him to watch. He’d needed a painkiller for his leg after trying to scramble away. That had earned him her sympathy, but he didn’t brush it off, because she didn’t pity him. He knew the difference. But it was that softer side of herself that she showed him…that made him hurt for her, for everything she’d been through, for everything she’d kept hidden from the world because she was afraid it would be used against her. He wanted so much more than that for her.
He also wanted more days like they’d just had. More days to be them.
She sighed and placed her hand over his heart, her eyes still shut. He forced himself to close his eyes and placed his hand over hers. He suddenly didn’t know anything anymore, except that he didn’t want to share her with anyone. He didn’t want anyone intruding on this safe place they’d created for themselves. But he knew their family…tomorrow everything would change.
…
Melody peered out the window, looking for any signs of their family. All she saw was a clear blue sky and sun sparkling off the snow. The tree branches were heavy with all the fresh snow that had fallen, and the outdoors seemed so inviting—even though she knew it had to be freezing out there.
She glanced over at Finn, who was brewing coffee and setting a tray of cinnamon rolls in the oven. She didn’t want to share him, but she did agree with his plan. She didn’t want anyone intruding on what they were building. This little cabin, which she thought was perfectly adorable and exclusively a place for her equally adorable sister and brother-in-law, had won her heart.
As had the wounded, sweet, gorgeous firefighter who’d run away from life, too. She could be herself with Finn. Yesterday had been the best day of her life. And sleeping on the couch with him, even though it had been cramped, had been the best sleep of her life. She’d felt safe. At home. Like everything was right with her world.
But with everyone coming, she was going to have to go back to being the old Melody, the girl who had it all together. She didn’t want to be her anymore. That Melody was uptight, so worried about what other people thought of her and what other people thought she should be doing. She had lived life according to her mother’s expectations—and she had never met them, no matter how hard she’d tried. That Melody was so hard on herself. She went around thinking she had to project this air of confidence, but on the inside, she was constantly berating herself. It was only last week that she realized that her inner voice was really her mother’s voice, repeating everything she’d been told throughout her life. None of it had been good, but it had pushed her to try harder, work harder, and forget the merits of having a life of her own.
“Any sign of them?”
Finn’s deep voice cut through her thoughts, and a blanket of warmth settled over her body. She shook her head and turned back around to face him. She wished this was her real life; she wished Finn was hers for real and not just for the holidays. “Is that coffee for us?”
He flashed her a grin that
made her toes curl. “You bet,” he said, pulling out the carafe and pouring them each a cup.
She joined him in the kitchen and accepted a mug. “Thanks.”
His brows drew together. “Hey. You okay?”
She took a sip of the coffee and searched for the words that eluded her. Articulating feelings was not natural for her. She’d suppressed feeling her feelings let alone voicing them for so long. And what if he wasn’t thinking the same thing?
What if he was looking forward to seeing everyone? Sure, they’d joked about the pressures of appearing happy in front of family, but this went beyond that. She took a deep breath and looked up at him, at that warmth and comfort she’d come to rely on in his green eyes, and just blurted out the truth. “What’s going to happen…after all of this?”
Surprise flashed across his eyes…and something else as he took a step closer to her. Her nerves fluttered in her stomach as he reached for her.
The sound of a horn honking repeatedly broke the magic of the moment.
“That is the most obnoxious sound,” he said, irritation dripping from his voice.
She sighed. “I know.”
“Maybe we can escape out the back door?”
She smiled and remembered how hard she thought it’d be to fake being happy. She wasn’t faking. This was the happiest she’d been in her entire life. “So. Friends.”
A flicker of something flashed across his eyes. “Right. Friends.”
What happened when everyone left? When it was time for her to decide what she was going to do about the Shadow Creek Hospital? When he decided what he was going to do about his own career? He was no longer interested in faking a breakup, but what about the real thing?
Suddenly, everything she’d worked so hard for, everything she thought was so important, seemed to dim in importance…to what she might have found with Finn.
Chapter Eleven
Finn stood beside Melody and plastered a dumb smile across his face as his family piled out of two SUVs like they were starring in a clown skit. How were there so many of them all of a sudden? “Should I go over there and help them unload or pretend my leg is sore and stand here with you?”
Melody let out a choked laugh and nudged him. “I guess we could both go over there. It would be the polite thing to do.”
He nodded, watching his brother, who was currently taking instructions from their mom on how to hold the giant gingerbread house he was pulling from the trunk. “True. But it’s kind of fun to watch. Oh, look, Ben almost fell in the driveway.”
Melody slapped a hand over her mouth, her shoulders shaking.
“No, thanks, we’re fine out here!” Ben yelled, making his way toward them, holding the oversize, cellophane-wrapped gingerbread house.
Finn’s mom let out a piercing scream. “Finn! Your beautiful face!”
Ben harrumphed. “I think it looked better before.”
Finn rolled his eyes and held out his arms. “Here, give me that. How much did you guys pack, anyway? You don’t actually have a baby yet, you know.”
“Nice to see you, too. What the hell is that thing on the lawn?” he asked, jutting his chin in the direction of the snowman. “Are you trying to give us nightmares?”
“It’s you as a snowman. So…yes.”
Ben gave him the finger when their mother wasn’t looking. “Hope you’re enjoying my rent-free cabin. Hi, Mel,” he said, shooting Melody a smile before glaring at Finn.
“It’s very nice to see you, too, Ben. But be more careful with this work of art,” he said, raising his voice so their mom could hear.
Ben shook his head and walked away. Soon, she and Finn were both being doused in hugs and kisses. He caught Melody’s eye over her sister’s shoulder, and a pang of longing hit him. Longing for their time together and for whatever it was they were building together.
…
“What a wonderful evening this has been!” Finn’s mom said with a bright smile as she held up her glass of wine.
Finn smiled. He was happy that she was so happy. She hadn’t had the easiest life, and yet she’d always managed to put on a brave face for him and Ben. When their dad died, they had all been devastated. She had never remarried, saying that one soul mate in a lifetime was lucky enough—though he and Ben had noticed the former fire chief and close family friend, Darren Wade, had been hanging around a lot lately. Their mother denied it, but both of them were happy to see her enjoying life again.
The room was filled with all of their roundabout family. Drew and Addie were snuggled on one sofa with their daughter, Isabella, sitting on the rug doing a puzzle. Ben and Molly were on another sofa, his brother on high alert every time Molly put a hand on her stomach. If he hadn’t been so preoccupied with his feelings for Melody, he’d be using his brother’s anxiety to play amusing pranks for everyone to enjoy. But he didn’t have it in him. Because…because he was spending all his time noticing how beautiful Mel was. How she smiled. How she laughed, even at Ben’s lame jokes. Then he had to pretend he wasn’t watching her. Except he’d catch her watching him, and then he just wanted to kiss her and tell everyone to leave again.
Their time at the cabin together had made him realize how much life he had to live, how the accident hadn’t robbed him of who he really was.
“So, when are you coming back to work?” Ben asked as conversation carried on around them. “I can get that physical booked for you.”
Shit. He glanced over at his mom, whose smile fell. She hadn’t even thought it was a possibility for him. He’d left things very vague because he knew how much she worried. A month ago, there had been no other option for him—get better, get cleared for work, and get back on the job. Now, he wasn’t so sure. There were other options. He didn’t know if he wanted to go back. But he needed to make sure that he wasn’t quitting out of fear, but that his decisions were based on reality. The more he looked into the position of a fire investigator, the more it grew on him. Either way, he’d be disappointing one of them. He had never spoken to Ben about not going back. But he also couldn’t get his mother’s hopes up that he’d be leaving, either.
He averted his gaze from his mother’s and caught Melody looking at him from the kitchen as she made hot chocolate. “I’m not exactly sure.” He kept his voice neutral. He really didn’t want to get into this now.
“Yes, Ben, don’t pressure him,” their mother said.
He leaned forward, resting his forearms on his thighs. “Mom, I have to make my decision by the new year. I can’t stay here forever.”
His mother stood abruptly, and he caught the faint tremble in her chin. “I’m feeling tired all of a sudden. I think I’ll turn in.”
He couldn’t let her go to bed like this. He stood and followed her out the room, relieved to hear Melody announce that the hot chocolate bar with marshmallows was all set up. He owed her for that one.
“Mom, you okay?”
She turned around sharply, her eyes flashing. “I’ve been trying to keep my mouth shut, and I can’t anymore. I’m so mad at you right now, Finn!”
He shoved his hands in his pockets and leaned against the wall where they stood in the hallway. “I didn’t say I was going back for sure. I know you want me to just walk away, and I want to give you what you want so badly, but I can’t. It’s not that easy. I always thought that I was born to be a firefighter. Like Dad. With Ben.” He shook his head and sighed. “It’s who we all are, and it scares me to not go back.”
Her eyes filled with a rare sighting of tears. “I lost your dad. Then Ben got injured, but you…we almost lost you, Finn. I sat by your bed and cried like a baby and prayed with every ounce of strength I had. I talked to your father out loud, begging him not to let you go up there with him. I want you here with me. I go before you boys. That’s what I want. I want to go to bed every night knowing that you boys are safe.”
Hell
. He walked over to her and hugged her, hating himself. “I’m sorry, Mom. I’m sorry I put you through that. I want to give you what you want, but there are no guarantees. Even if I had a safe old desk job, something could happen. There is no way to escape it.”
But she didn’t look relieved. He paused, taking in her appearance. His mother had always been filled with energy, and it felt like half the time she was the one running circles around him and Ben. But not anymore. Her eyes were red, and the lines around them seemed more pronounced. Her laugh lines seemed more like worry lines, and she seemed thinner to him, more fragile.
Guilt ripped through him. He and Ben had always been so determined to follow in their father’s footsteps. But maybe now that their mom was getting older, it was harder on her. Tears slipped down her cheeks. “I’m sorry for doing this to you. I’m sorry for being selfish. This will be the one time I ask you—please don’t go back. For my sake?”
Her voice was a thin whisper that destroyed him.
He hugged her again, feeling like the most selfish person in the world for doing this to her. “Is that really what you want?”
She covered her face. “No…no. I just want us all to be together for as long as we can. Ben and Molly are going to have this baby, and I want us to enjoy the family getting bigger. I’m sorry. It’s not your fault. I’ll be fine. I’m always fine. If you decide to go back because it’s your calling, then you know I will always support you. It was a moment of weakness. It’s…been a heck of a year, Finn. There’s more…”
There was more? He braced himself. He didn’t want to hear it, but he would never say no to her opening up to him. “Go ahead.”
“When I saw you in that ER room? Finn, it brought me back to the night your father died. I sat by his side, I cried, I called his name over and over and wanted him to wake up. He didn’t. Just like you didn’t that night in the hospital.” She held onto him tightly. She felt frail and small in his arms, and his conscience did a number on him. “What if that was your warning? What if that was God telling you it’s time to leave this profession?”
Snowed in with the Firefighter (Shadow Creek, Montana) Page 12
