Tonic

by Heather Lloyd

  Being the gentleman that he is, Ryan walks me to my room. Jeremy stays by the elevators.

  “Thank you, Ryan. I had a wonderful evening. I’m so glad I almost knocked you over yesterday,” I tell him, grinning at him.

  “I’m glad, too. I also had a wonderful evening. Thank you for coming out with me,” he says. “Would you like to do something with me tomorrow?”

  Even if for some crazy reason I’d say no, he looks so hopeful that I have to say yes.

  “Of course, Ryan. Can I call you when I figure out what’s going on?”

  “Yes, please,” he says. “Give me your phone.”

  He puts his number in and then calls his phone to make sure it works and makes sure that he has my number.

  Ryan steps closer to me. My heart jumps out of my chest. He leans in and encloses me in a big bear hug. Of my, what a great hugger. And hmm, he smells so good. He gives me a kiss on my cheek again, says good night and turns to walk toward the elevator.

  I watch him until he turns into the little hallway where Jeremy and the elevators are located then I let myself into my room. I do a little happy dance once I am in the room. I am extremely hyped up and have trouble falling asleep. I want to call Taylor or Sarah, but it’s too late. They would kill me if I woke them up now.

  I turn on the TV and flip thru channels. Eventually I find one of my favorite romantic comedies that I have seen a billion times. I mindlessly watch it. In the end exhaustion wins and I fall into a deep sleep.

  * * *

  The next morning, I wake up feeling refreshed and in a great mood from last night with Ryan. Then I roll over and see Craig sleeping in the other bed. He’s stripped except for his boxers and is laying diagonally across the bed. His mouth is hanging open, probably drooling on the sheets. I can smell the beer and smoke on him from here. Stupid ass. I should have locked him out of the room.

  Don’t let him ruin your day, I tell myself. I get up, take a shower, get dressed and get ready for the day. I decide I better call Taylor before she gets too involved in her day. She answers immediately.

  “What happened yesterday after you hung up on me? I still haven’t forgiven you for that, by the way. I can’t believe you met Ryan Paxton. Give me details.”

  “Oh Taylor! You have no idea! I tried to call you a few times yesterday.”

  “I know. I saw you called, but I had a date and you didn’t leave a message.”

  “I couldn’t leave a message with what I have to tell you. I’m having the most amazing time out here. But let me start from our call yesterday. As you know I ran into Ryan again. We went to have lunch together. Oh my gosh, Taylor. He’s so nice and easy to talk to. He’s so much fun. But we only had a quick lunch because he had to leave for an interview.”

  “You had lunch with Ryan Paxton! I don’t believe it. I’m so jealous. Be still my heart. Too bad he had to leave lunch early.”

  “Yes, but….”

  “But what?”

  “He felt bad he had to leave, so he asked if I would join him for dinner last night.”

  Taylor is quiet, so quiet that for a second I think the call got dropped.

  “Taylor?”

  “WHAT?!”

  I laugh at her reaction.

  “Olivia. I just scared most of my office so you better give me details so they won’t be so pissed off at me.”

  “Ok, ok. So, of course, I said yes, I would have dinner with him and I met up with him last night. I was scared that he wasn’t going to show up, but he did. We had a fabulous dinner and walked around our hotel and casino.” I went into detail about last night, giving her all the specifics.

  “Well, hell. How do you get so lucky?” Taylor asks, pretending to be miffed.

  “He’s nice…and sweet…and oh my God, is he gorgeous. He walked me back to my room last night and gave me a hug and a kiss on my cheek before he left. Definitely not how I thought a big time actor would act.”

  “Sounds like someone has a crush…” Taylor teases and laughs. “Seriously, you sound giddy happy, Olivia.”

  “I am giddy happy. He makes me happy. I’m not sure how he fits into my life, but I really think he’s meant to be here.”

  “You deserve this, you know.”

  “I don’t know about that.”

  “I do. You do deserve it. You’ve put up with a lot of shit from Craig and I’ve seen how depressed you’ve been these last few months. You tried to hide it but I saw. Enjoy this time with Ryan. You are only out there for a few days. Have fun with him if he’s willing to hang out with you. You deserve to have a nice guy pay attention to you and treat you like you should be treated. And…it doesn’t hurt that he’s sinfully handsome and the most sought after actor right now. You haven’t seen him without his shirt yet, have you?”

  “Taylor!”

  “Oh come on. You know you want to see him shirtless. He’s built!”

  I bust out laughing. “Cut it out.”

  “Never mind then. Yes, the timing of meeting him is bad because you haven’t kicked Craig out on his ass, yet. But you can’t change the fact that you did meet Ryan. He didn’t influence your decision to kick Craig out at all, so there’s nothing to feel guilty about. So stop that.”

  “Stop what?”

  “I know what you’re thinking and you need to stop. Have fun with Ryan and be happy while you’re out there, because it’s not going to be pretty when you get back home.”

  “Yeah”, I sigh. “I’m not looking forward to that. Stupid ass came back to the room last night. He’s still sleeping.”

  “Oh, ugh. Why didn’t you lock him out? Never mind, it doesn’t matter. Just have fun and enjoy time with Ryan,” Taylor says again. “Sorry to cut it short, but I’ve got to get back to work. Got a conference call. I’ll talk to you soon. And let me know what else happens with Ryan.”

  “I will. Thanks, Taylor. I love you.”

  “Love you too, Sweetie.”

  I hang up and think about what Taylor said. Yesterday was the best day I’ve had for at least six months or probably more if I really think about it. And yes, I was feeling guilty that I have been hanging out with Ryan while I am still married. But Taylor is right. I already made the decision to kick Craig out. Ryan had nothing to do with that decision. Why should I feel guilty? I shouldn’t.

  I turn on the TV to hear what is going on. Still thinking about last night with Ryan and Taylor’s conversation, I half listen to the stories as I finish getting ready. The next report, about Ryan, catches my attention. When I hear what they say, I turn towards the TV and my mouth drops open. There on the screen is the picture of me and Ryan that the paparazzi took last night. They are reporting that Ryan and his date had a romantic dinner for two at the Bellagio and then strolled around looking cozy. The only question was who was his date?

  Ohmigod! They are talking about me on the news. I feel a little thrill roll through me. I grab my phone and pull up a couple sites. There we are. It’s the same picture as the TV. Taylor is right. I do look giddy happy, laughing with Ryan. I am leaning in towards him and he is leaning in towards me. It is a great picture.

  The site also has another photo from yesterday’s lunch as we walked into the restaurant. The second photo shows our faces and anyone who knows me is sure to recognize me now. How did they get that pictures without either me or Ryan knowing they were there?

  I shouldn’t be shocked about this. Ryan warned me. With him being so popular and famous, anything Ryan does is going to be captured. Whatever he does is news. I am annoyed that I can’t keep my perfect evening all to myself. On the other hand, it is a bit exciting to be in the news and have attention on me. I’m sure I’ll regret that thought later but right now I can enjoy it.

  I turn to go back into the bathroom and run into the door, making it bang against the wall. I freeze. Hoping Craig is still drunk enough not to have heard it.

  I peek around the corner. Craig is sitting up; he’s looking around in confusion.

  “What? W
hat’s going on?” he says.

  “Sorry. I ran into the door.”

  “You ran into the door?”

  “Yes, I was a little preoccupied.”

  “With what?”

  “I’m in the news this morning,” I say to him, showing him the story on my phone. He takes it and tries to focus on the small screen.

  “You hung out with Ryan Paxton yesterday?” he asks, looking at me in awe.

  I wait for him to act all upset.

  “That is so awesome!” he exclaims and reads the article.

  Why is he excited about me hanging out with Ryan? What angle is he thinking about?

  “You’re kind of a celebrity now, too. You’ll be getting a lot of attention. There’s probably some of those reporters still around. We should go out and talk to them. Maybe make a few bucks, get on the news again.”

  There it is. He is always wanting to make a few, fast bucks.

  “What? No! I am NOT going to talk to anyone.” Sell my Ryan story? How ridiculous! “Make a few bucks. You’re such a jerk, Craig.” I snag my phone back from him and sit down on my bed and sigh. “Crap!”

  “I don’t see what the big deal is. This is really cool,” he, replies and shrugs his shoulders. “Guess I’ll go take a shower.”

  That snaps me out of my fretting over the media for the moment. It’s time to see how good Craig’s memory is and see just how big of ass Craig can be.

  “Before you get in the shower, Craig, do you remember what today is?”

  He pauses. I can tell he was thinking. Don’t hurt yourself Craig. He didn’t come up with anything.

  “I don’t know, Livey. Tuesday?” he smirks.

  “Something happened two years ago,” I prompt.

  He looks confused and shakes his head.

  “It’s our wedding anniversary.”

  He continues to look confused for a few seconds. “Hey, how about that? Happy anniversary,” he says, collecting his things for the shower. “You should go shopping and buy yourself something special. I’m going to take a shower and head back down to gamble.”

  I have never felt so much hatred for someone as I do at this moment. How can this be the guy I married? Was I fooling myself when I thought he cared for me? I just can’t deal with him now.

  “You are such an ass. Did our marriage ever matter to you? Did I ever matter to you?

  Craig stands there speechless for a bit. “I…uh…I…, he mumbles.

  “The hell with you!” I grab my purse and fly out the door, letting the door slam.

  I am so mad at Craig and at myself. I am such an idiot; I know better. I let myself hope once more that he would care just a little. But he sucker punched me again. When am I going to learn that Craig is a selfish jerk? I swear this is it. Craig is out, out of my house, out of my life.

  Just as I get to the elevators, my cell rings. Not looking at who it is and assuming it’s Craig, I answer rudely. “What the hell do you want, Craig!”

  “Well, I was calling to say good morning and see if you’re available to do anything today,” Ryan replies. “But now I’m going to ask if you’re ok.”

  Perfect. Now I’m yelling at Ryan, too.

  “Oh Ryan! I’m sorry,” I groan. I lean against the wall and let my head thump against it and sigh. “Obviously, I thought you were Craig calling.”

  “Not Craig. Thank God. I’m guessing Craig finally came back to your room? And I’m concluding from the way you answered the phone that he is being an ass already this morning,” he says.

  “Yes. He, of course, didn’t remember our anniversary. I asked him what today was. He didn’t know. When I told him, he says ‘Hey, happy anniversary. You should go buy yourself something’. I told him off and left. I thought it was him calling. I guess I know just how much he doesn’t care anymore. What an anniversary.”

  “I’m sorry you had to deal with him this morning, Olivia. I was hoping he wouldn’t go back to your room. Well, what are you doing for your anniversary now?”

  “I was going to go downstairs – to get as far away from Craig as possible. Because if I see him right now, I might hurt him.”

  “Why don’t you come up to my suite and we’ll figure something out.”

  “That’s ok. It’s kind of early. I’ll just go down and grab something to eat and we can get together later,” I say.

  “Don’t be difficult, Olivia. I’m getting on the elevator to come get you.”

  I let out a sigh. I don’t want to argue with Ryan today, too.

  “Alright.”

  Men! Why the hell is Ryan so adamant that I go up to his suite? I hear the elevator coming, then it dings and the door open.

  “Hi,” Ryan says, grabs my hand and pulls me into the elevator. He scans his card and pushes the 36th floor.

  “So what’s with me coming up to your suite?” I ask.

  He hugs me while he answers.

  “There are paparazzi downstairs waiting for you, me, us. Take your pick.” He pulls back so he can see my face. “Somehow they found out that we’re both staying here.”

  Great. Of, course. Why wouldn’t they figure that out. Here’s my payback for being excited about being on the news.

  The elevator stops and we walk down the hallway. The décor is different up here, a little classier. Beige and cream wallpaper with beige and red patterned carpet. We walk down the hallway to the end. Ryan opens the door for me, directs me inside and closes it behind him.

  “I’m sorry I got you involved in this. I truly didn’t think they would be so interested in finding out who you are.”

  “Did you see the pictures of us? One of the pictures was of us at lunch yesterday,” I say.

  “Yes, I saw them. I thought I’d gotten away from them. My agent, Jason, said that lots of speculations are flying – especially when they found out that we both are staying here – convenient, you know. He also said that they think you’re an actress but can’t figure out who.”

  I walk around the suite in a daze. Funny how I thought fame would be fun. I was in denial until it actually happened to me, until I start experiencing the bad stuff. I can feel him watching me, waiting for a reaction. It’s hard to absorb everything and I have no reaction yet. I feel like I’m in la la land.

  “So, they think I’m an actress.” Wow. I’m honored. Imagine them thinking I am an actress.

  Ryan smiles. “Yes. You do look like you should be one.”

  “Do I?” I scowl at him. I take a breath. “I should have realized that all this with the paparazzi could happen, so don’t feel bad. Hey, at least there’s excitement in my life now.”

  “There’s nothing boring about your life with me around and with what Craig is doing to you. I’d say I wished Craig wasn’t being an ass, but I can’t. If he wasn’t being such a jerk, then you wouldn’t be here with me,” he smiles.

  Yeah.

  “What are you thinking, Olivia?”

  I smile back. “I honestly don’t know. I can’t think. At first I thought it would be fun being in the spotlight. Now that it’s happening, I just can’t think. And everything Craig is putting me thru, I’m not sure this has all hit me yet.”

  Finally taking the time, I look at his suite. It’s gorgeous! It is finished in white, gray and black, with little splashes of bright emerald green thrown here and there as accents. The floors are marble with plush rugs in the sitting and dining areas. There’s a wet bar off to the right – I’m sure it’s fully stocked. I wonder if the same colors continue into the bedroom that is off to the left. I won’t be finding that out; I’m not going to go there.

  I walk to the windows directly across the room from the front door. They are the best part of the suite. They open to views of the Strip and fountains. I can see a lot of Las Vegas from up here. I wonder how much a suite like this costs; I probably couldn’t afford it.

  “Wow” I whisper in awe.

  Ryan, who’s been watching me, smiles. “It’s one of the Penthouse suites. Nice, isn’t it?”<
br />
  “I’ll say. I love the colors. Very luxurious. I love the view from up here,” I say, glancing back at him. He is still by the door and wet bar, and hasn’t stopped watching me.

  “So, how are you, really, Olivia? I mean, about Craig?”

  I wince and turn back to look out the window. How am I doing? If I don’t think about it, I’m ok. But when I do think about Craig and our marriage, I get depressed.

  “I’m doing ok,” I finally reply.

  “Olivia. Look at me please,” he requests.

  I turn back to look at him. He knows that I just lied to him.

  “I don’t like it when people lie to me, Olivia. Be honest with me, please. I can see some of what he’s doing to you. I want to know what you are feeling.”

  I give him a shaky smile; tears fill my eyes. I break eye contact and look down at my hands. “I’m not doing very well. I feel like the biggest idiot in the world right now. How many times I got my hopes up, thinking this time he’ll care. I’m still not sure why I got my hopes up. Even knowing he’s been with at least one other girl, I had gotten my hopes up again and again. But he just kept beating those hopes down. Again, and again and again. I must be insane for putting up with him for so long.

  “Do you know what the first thing he wanted to do this morning when he found out that I met you? Any ideas?”

  Ryan shakes his head.

  “He wanted to run to the paparazzi and try to make money off you. Can you believe it! What a jack ass. That’s what pissed me off this morning. How can anyone think that way? Oh, he makes me so mad!”

  I feel myself tense up with anger. I slowly take in air, hold it for a few seconds and slowly release it, trying to get the tension to go away. But another feeling creeps in when the anger goes away.

  “I feel guilty, too. Why do I feel guilty? It’s not like I’m doing anything but spending time with you. Craig’s been out screwing around on me and obviously, he doesn’t feel guilty.”

  I start pacing back and forth in front of the window. I’m not paying any attention to Ryan. I’m so furious with myself for even caring about Craig anymore, for letting all his crap bother me. I berate myself.