Tonic

by Heather Lloyd

  Still having that eerie feeling, I decide it’s time to move. I leave with the crowd, going the same way as most of the crowd, trying not to stand out. I head north towards some other casinos. I wish I could take pictures of some of the people I see along the strip. I can’t fathom stepping out in public in some of these outfits.

  At one casino, I stop to watch a show that is out in front of the hotel/casino. Afterward, I go inside and gamble a little and do a little shopping.

  At last, I feel like I have unwound enough to head back to my room. I am almost to Flamingo Road and about to cross over the walkway when I hear my phone ringing. By the time I get to it, I miss the call. It’s Ryan and I’ve missed three calls and a couple texts from him.

  Tuesday, Jan 14, 2016, 10;23 PM

  Call me when you have a chance.

  Tuesday, Jan 14, 2016, 11;51 PM

  Where RU? Call me!

  I quickly listen to his messages – he’s worried that I haven’t called him back yet. I call right away.

  “Oh thank God! Olivia! I was so worried when you didn’t answer and didn’t call me back. I thought about going to look for you but had no clue where you went,” he says with concern.

  “I’m sorry. I’m sorry! I didn’t hear my phone ring. I wasn’t expecting you to call. You were supposed to be out having a good time with your friends. I just wandered up the Strip. It takes quite some time to walk along there, especially when you stop to watch some shows. I’m almost back to the hotel.”

  “I missed you tonight.”

  Oh, Lord help me. I am going to get hurt.

  “What? You remembered to think about me while you were out? Did you have to set a reminder on your phone?” I tease.

  “Ha. Ha.”

  “I figured you’d get with your friends and little, old me would be completely forgotten about.”

  “Hardly. It was just like I said earlier. I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

  “You’re sweet. I missed you too. Well, there. I’m back in the Bellagio now and am heading to the elevators. Safe and sound.”

  “Good. Glad you’re back and safe.”

  “I was perfectly fine walking around by myself this evening. It was fun just strolling around. I did a lot of people watching. You should have seen some of the people. I would have loved to take pictures.”

  I round the corner to the elevators and abruptly stop. Guess who is standing there?

  “Ryan! You didn’t have to come down for me.” I grin at him as I put my phone away. I am secretly pleased that he wants to see me.

  “This way I get to see you for at least a little bit before I go to sleep and not see you again until tomorrow afternoon.”

  “It’s not that long,” I say, flattered. “Hopefully the interviews will make the time go by fast.”

  We ride the elevator up to my floor. I tell him about my night and mention the weird feeling I’d experienced. Ryan is concerned about that and warns me to be extremely careful now that I am in the public’s eye, too.

  The elevator opens on my floor. Before I can say goodnight, Ryan tells me he’s walking me to my room. “Any word from Craig?” he asks as we walk down the hallway.

  “No. But he was kind enough to leave a huge mess in the room when he got ready this morning, which was another reason I was out walking around. I was so pissed off that I had to calm down. But I haven’t heard from him or seen him since.”

  “Good. I’m glad you didn’t have to deal with him tonight.”

  “Yeah, me too. By the way, how was your night?”

  “It was good being with the guys again. They teased me mercilessly about you.”

  What? Why would they tease him about me? I am confused. Ryan must see that I don’t understand because he continues on.

  “We, my dear, are the talk across the nation – at least celebrity wise. People are calling everyone who knows me asking about who you are, this one person who seems to have captured Ryan Paxton’s attention.”

  I am beyond flustered. “Oh.”

  He grins at me, his eyes dancing.

  “By the way, tomorrow night I’m taking you out to dinner and dancing, ok?”

  “I…alright.”

  “I’d better head up. I have to get up early for the first interview – a local morning show. And I need to be sharp to steer the conversation away from questions about you.”

  “They’re going to ask you about me?”

  “Yes, Olivia. You are going to be the major topic of all the interviews. But I’m going to have to steer them back to the movie.”

  He tugs on my arm to pull me in for a hug. I feel his breath on the top of my head.

  “I’ll see you tomorrow” he says into my hair. “Sleep well tonight.”

  “Good luck with the interviews.”

  He kisses my cheek and lets me go, walks back down the hallway.

  Back in my room, I lock the door so Craig won’t be able to get in if he tries. Too wound up to sleep, I flip through the channels on the TV. It is my luck that I find Ryan’s movie, The Beloved One, just starting. I watch the whole movie and fall asleep dreaming about Ryan.

  * * *

  The next day I have to myself. I wake up early so I can watch Ryan on the morning show. They jump on him and hound him about the girl he’s been seen with out here. He does an excellent job avoiding and distracting the host from questions about us and redirecting the interview back to the movie. However, the host keeps going back to me. She’s not about to give up. Luckily, Ryan is skilled. He keeps redirecting the conversation. I am impressed.

  After I watch the morning show, I go to the hotel spa and get a massage. The masseuse tells me that I am very tight and need to relax - yeah, right, as if I can. I have a husband who’s cheating on me, on the brink of divorce, plus I’m hanging out with Ryan Paxton and have to try to avoid the paparazzi. No stress at all. An hour later, I feel great and decide to get my hair styled, too. I am a new woman coming out of the spa.

  To pass time until Ryan is available, I have a light, late lunch and wander around again. I find and buy another couple cute outfits. Late afternoon, I go back to my room to get ready for my date. Ryan finally calls around 6:30. He apologizes profusely and says he is running late and asks if I would mind pushing back our date until 8:00pm. Like I’m going to tell him no? Obviously, I don’t mind.

  Taylor calls when I am just about finished getting dressed. She inquires about what is going on tonight. I tell her I’m going out for dinner and dancing with Ryan. I fill her in about what was going on with Craig and that I am more sure than ever that I’m kicking him out. She is ecstatic.

  My phone sounds. I ask Taylor to hang on a second so I can check it.

  Wednesday, Jan 15, 2016, 6:46PM

  Still running late. Be there as soon as I can.

  Wednesday, Jan 15, 2016, 6:47PM

  OK. See U soon.

  “Ok. Sorry about that.”

  “No problem. I was saying that it’s good that you are ready to kick Craig out. Maybe Ryan can take his place.”

  There is no way that I am telling her that Ryan suggested the same thing.

  “Taylor! I’m a mess right now. I’ve got to get my life straightened out. Besides, why would he want me? Maybe I’m fun to hang around with out here but I’m nobody; he’s this huge celeb.”

  “Olivia,” Taylor scolds.

  “I’m freaking out because of all this media attention. I just don’t see how the two of us could ever work out.” I still have tons of doubts. They haven’t gone away. I’m sure Ryan will try to convince me. “But, speaking of Ryan, I’d better get going and be ready when he comes.”

  “Alright. Call me later – tomorrow – whenever. Tell Ryan ‘hi’ for me. And have fun.”

  I tuck my phone in the black clutch that matches my dress. I take a quick look in the mirror. The dress is a simple little black dress, off the shoulder just on one side and killer heels. It’s awesome being with someone a few inches taller than me so I feel
like I can wear heels. Not too bad; I can hold my own against Hollywood’s heartthrob.

  There is a knock on the door and I inhale deeply to steady my nerves. I open the door and there stands Ryan. He freezes and stares when he sees me. He has a single red rose in his hand.

  “Olivia! My God! You take my breath away. You look lovely. How did I get so lucky? You’re gorgeous!”

  I feel the heat and blood rushing to my cheeks. I’m not used to getting compliments anymore. “It’s not nice to fib.”

  His eyes narrow and cloud. “Olivia. You are beautiful. I do not lie.”

  Oh, shit. Did I just ruin things with him? He looks angry.

  “I’m sorry, Ryan. I didn’t mean that you…I just…my self-esteem is non-existent” I apologize, scared to death.

  “No, I’m sorry, Olivia. I know you didn’t mean that I was lying to you. It just makes me so mad that your ass of a husband has been putting you down and ignoring you so much that a simple compliment seems fake.” He pulls me into a hug with one arm.

  “I told you I’m a mess.”

  Ryan moves me back so he can look into my eyes and his hand moves up to cup my face. “And I told you, I’ll help you get un-messy if you will let me.” He gives me a kiss on my nose and hands me the rose he’s holding. “This is for you.”

  “Thank you,” I say, lifting it to smell it, trying yet again to cover up my shock of being kissed by him. I know it is supposed to be friendly and it is just a kiss on my nose, but it’s still a very intimate gesture. Just like last night, it throws me off balance and sends my heartbeat into a spin.

  “I’d really like that,” I say. “I mean your help. I’m going to need friends to get me through the next couple of months.”

  “I’m here for you. Besides, I know you’ll be fine. You are a lot stronger than you think. You just need to find yourself again.”

  I wish I could believe him. I feel like the cowardly lion, so scared of everything I’m going to have to go through. Maybe courage is in me, but I will need to dig deep to find it and bring it out.

  “Oh and Olivia? You’d better get used to me saying how beautiful you are.” Ryan raises an eyebrow that dares me to contradict him. “So, Beautiful, are you ready for a night out on the town?”

  I feel a little thrill shoot through me. I smile at the nickname; he makes me feel beautiful. “I’m ready.”

  We ride the elevator down to the lobby with Jeremy along for security again. As soon as the doors open, reporters come running towards us. Cameras flash, questions start flying.

  “Ryan, who is your date?”

  “Are you starring in a film together?”

  “Are you two dating?”

  “Where are you going tonight?”

  Jeremy takes the lead and fights through the crowd. I freeze, shocked by the crowd that greets us. Sheer terror runs through me. I don’t know what to do. I feel Ryan tug on my arm. He wraps his arm around me and guides me quickly to the valet area, where his rental car already waits for us. Jeremy helps get us to the car but to my surprise doesn’t get in with us. Ryan and I get in the car and Ryan carefully maneuvers around the crowd.

  “Why didn’t Jeremy come with us?” I ask Ryan.

  “He knows I want to be alone with you. He’s going to meet us at the restaurant.”

  Ryan looks at me, as much as he can while driving safely. I am visibly shaking. Ryan grabs my hands that I have clasped in an effort to try to stop the shaking. He gives me an apologetic smile.

  “They are getting worse, aren’t they,” he observes, his forehead creases in concern. “I’m sorry, Olivia. You are ok. I will keep you safe.”

  “I can’t believe they’re so obsessed with us.”

  “Well, it is my fault. They made me too famous. They want to know who you are and how you captured my attention. You will be famous soon. They probably will find out everything about you,” Ryan says. Then he smiles slyly. “If you have any skeletons in your closet, you’d better bury them deep.”

  “Ha. Ha. You think you’re so funny….” I happen to glance out the window. I wince and groan. “Shit!”

  “What!? What’s wrong?”

  “Well, I don’t have any skeletons, just a dumbass of a husband who wants his fifteen minutes of fame,” I tell him. I pull one of my hands free and point to the sidewalk where Craig is talking with a reporter. There right next to him is one of Craig’s coworkers. I assume that she is the girl he’s screwing around on me with.

  “That is Craig.”

  I sigh.

  “Well, they’ll definitely know who I am now.”

  “Bloody hell,” Ryan mumbles. “God, he is a dumbass. Who the hell is that hanging on him?”

  “Her name is Annabelle. She works with Craig,” I say quietly. “That must be who he’s been seeing. I wonder if somehow she’s the reason he wanted to come out here.”

  “I’m sorry, Olivia. God, I can’t believe he’d planned this trip, knowing that she would be out here too and you’d probably find out. What happened to being discreet? And not airing your business. Screw being discreet. What happened to a monogamous marriage? Isn’t he concerned at all about hurting you?”

  “Obviously no, he’s not. That’s Craig for you. He wants the lime light – good or bad. I’ve learned the hard way that Craig only thinks about Craig. He’s been hurting me for the past two years and he doesn’t care. As long as everything worked out for Craig, he would do anything, especially if there’s money involved.”

  I stare out the window. He is trying hurt me again, but this time it is not all hurt. Part of it is irritation, too, which is good. His idiotic behavior has taken my mind off the paparazzi.

  I take a deep breath and continue. “At least I know, for sure, now. I can move on, with my friends’ support.”

  “You can count on me,” Ryan says, squeezing my hand. He looks at me apologetically. “You should know though, that the media will say that you are cheating on your husband with me.”

  Yes, Craig will try to make sure they assume I am the one who is cheating. Great, my reputation will be ruined before anyone even knows me. Well, Ryan tells me that I have to ignore what is reported about me. Guess it’s time to start practicing letting go of those concerns.

  “Yes, I suppose they will. Since the bimbo is hanging on Craig, hopefully they’ll figure out that he’s been with someone else, too.”

  Hopefully these reporters don’t like Craig and really look into him.

  “But you know what? I’m not going to let it bother me. We know the truth and that’s all that matters.” I turn to smile at him; he’s watching me.

  “Olivia, I see that this is hurting you. We can go back to the hotel and just hang out if you want.”

  Going back and hiding out sounds good, but I’m not going to let Craig or the paparazzi ruin an evening with Ryan, an evening that I’ve been looking forward to all day.

  “You’re sweet. But no. You promised me dinner and dancing. I need to go out and have fun. Make me forget about Craig.” I squeeze his hand that is still on mine. “You know, he loves to talk. My only hope is that he’ll say something that makes him sound like an idiot.”

  Ryan laughs, then he sighs loudly. “Well, it looks like I’m caught in another love triangle.”

  I laugh. “Got to keep up your reputation.”

  I need to let the whole Craig thing go. He is moving out when we get back home. No, correction. I am going to kick him out when I get home. There is nothing I can do here but enjoy the time I have with Ryan.

  “Let’s go enjoy the evening,” I say. “Maybe we can get more rumors to surface.”

  “I like starting rumors,” he smiles. He brings my hand up to his lips and kisses it. “You are amazing. See, Olivia? You are stronger than you think.”

  “Sure, I’m ok right now. But wait until later, when I’m by myself and all I can do is think about this. There will be crying and feeling sorry for myself.”

  “That’s all part of the healing proc
ess, love. But there is a way to fix that. You can always stay with me all night. I’ll keep your mind off Craig. You just let me know,” Ryan says, winking at me.

  I laugh again. “Don’t temp me.”

  Whew, it is getting really hot in this car.

  “Who says I’m not serious?” Ryan smirks.

  “Oh, I know.”

  How lucky am I to have met Ryan? We pull up to the valet of another hotel. Jeremy is there to greet us and rush us inside to the hotel’s four-star steakhouse, getting stares and squeals along the way. At the restaurant, we are promptly led to a private table. Ryan orders wine for both of us and then we are left alone to look over the menu.

  I look around the beautiful room. The bottom half of the walls are paneled in dark mahogany; the top is wallpapered with what looks like an imprinted design in cream.

  “Wow! This place is …exquisite.”

  “Yes, it is. Although, I’ve never been here before. It came highly recommended. We’ll see if the food is as good as the décor. Do you know what you want?”

  I tell him yes and we order once the waiter comes back. Then Ryan again asks if I had heard from Craig earlier today. But thank goodness, I have not. It’s nice to realize that I do not care if I hear from him. Ryan tells me that he can see how much this whole thing with Craig hurts me and explains why he thinks this.

  “I think you believe in getting and staying married. It wasn’t even in your realm of thinking that divorce was a possibility. Because your marriage didn’t turn out the way you expected, you are questioning a lot of things you believe.”

  I stare at him while he explains his thoughts.

  “How?” I demand. “How do you know me so well? It’s like you’ve known me for years instead of a couple days.”

  “It is strange, isn’t it? I feel the same way.” Ryan brings my hand up to his lips and kisses it then lays our joined hands on the table. I look at our hands and how perfect they fit together. It is turning out that Ryan and I are fitting perfectly together, too. And it’s scaring the hell out of me.