Tonic

by Heather Lloyd

  Ha! Ha! Backfired in your face Craig!

  This is awesome and that news just made my day even better.

  A little later my dad calls. He says he has been seeing me on these shows and wants to make sure I’m ok. I fill him in on what’s had been happening out here in Las Vegas. He gets so mad at Craig that I have to calm him down. I think he’d like to come out here and kick Craig’s ass. I love my dad. I tell him about my decisions and get his approval. Hearing that I’m in such a good mood, he asks about Ryan. I tell him we are just friends. I explain that Ryan wants more but I have to straighten out my life before I can even think about anything more with Ryan. Dad tells me to think long and hard about what life would be like with a celebrity before I make any rash decisions. I promise him I will, tell him I love him and hang up.

  As soon as I hang up the phone, it rings again. I look to see who’s calling and smile as I answer. “Grand Central Station.”

  He laughs.

  “Good morning, Beautiful. Been a little popular this morning, have you? You didn’t forget about our breakfast date, did you?” Ryan asks.

  “No, I didn’t forget about our breakfast date. Yes, I’ve been very busy this morning. I called Taylor this morning to line up a couple things for me. Then Sarah called and my dad. I had to explain things to all of them. And…I’ll explain everything to you when I come up. I’m almost ready.”

  “Hurry. I miss you.”

  “OK,” I reply with a big dopey grin on my face. He misses me! I am in a considerable amount of trouble. I cannot let myself fall for Ryan. But I know that’s hopeless since I have already started falling for him. Question is just how long it will take for me to fall completely in love with him and will I get hurt?

  Twenty minutes later, I knock on Ryan’s door. He opens it immediately. Whoa! Ryan’s wearing jeans and a button up shirt that he has left open, allowing me to see his sculpted chest. OK, I am drooling. I can look at him all day.

  He just stands in the doorway, his arm up on the doorjamb, grinning at me.

  “Uh… don’t you look sexy this morning?” I say.

  “Talking about sexy, look at you! You’re in a good mood today,” he observes. He grabs my hand, pulls me into the suite, gives me a quick kiss and closes the door. “Let’s eat and you can tell me what’s going on.”

  “Ok. But could you please button your shirt? I’m having trouble concentrating.”

  Ryan laughs. “Oh, you don’t like my chest?” he teases.

  I can feel myself turn bright red. “I do. That’s the problem. Just please! Button your shirt.”

  Still laughing, he does button his shirt, but only a couple buttons. “Better?” he asks, giving me a peck on my cheek.

  Oh, God. I am not sure if that is better or worse. But I nod.

  Ryan ordered a bunch of things off the in-room menu. He tells me to take what I want. I grab some fruit and a cinnamon roll and sit next to him at the table.

  “Ok. Now tell me what has been going on already this morning,” Ryan demands.

  “Well, as you know, I did some major thinking last night and made a few, much overdue decisions. I feel like a weight has been lifted off me. I’m going home tomorrow instead of Saturday…” I smile as I see the disappointment in his face, “after I spend today with you – if you want.”

  “Of course I want to spend today with you,” Ryan interrupts. “But you’re going home early,” he pouts.

  “I know. Now, let me tell you why. I think you’ll approve. I called the airline first thing this morning to change my flight. Luckily I didn’t have any problems. Then I called my lawyer and told her to start divorce paperwork.”

  Ryan nods and smiles.

  “After that I called Taylor to see if she could help me tomorrow. She is going to pick me up and we’re going to pack up everything of Craig’s and move it out. I don’t want him in my house anymore. Then Sarah called offering to help tomorrow, too.”

  “Wow. You have been busy.”

  “That’s not quite all. My dad called after that and I had to explain everything to him. When I finally got off the phone with him, that’s when you called.”

  Ryan takes my hand in his.

  “I’m proud of you, Olivia. It sounds like you made some excellent decisions. I definitely approve. I just wish I could be there with you when Craig comes back and finds out you moved everything out. I’d rather you didn’t have to deal with him at all.”

  “I wish I didn’t have to deal with him anymore either.”

  “I’m glad you’re staying today and want to spend the day with me. You could have easily gone back today and had even more time to clean out his things. It makes me feel good – hopeful – about us.”

  He watches me intently. He is always trying to figure out my reactions. Maybe I’m easy to read. He keeps saying things that makes me want to believe that he does want to be with me. I guess we will see how things go when I’m back in Kansas City and he’s back in Los Angeles.

  “So, what would you like to do today?” he asks.

  “Anything; as long as we get to spend it together.”

  “Would you like to go shopping or do some gambling? Some pampering? Or you could just hide out here all day with me.”

  “Yes, yes, yes and yes!” I reply laughing.

  “Ok. Well, we’ve got a busy day ahead of us so we’d better get going.”

  While we eat, we talk about Craig’s and Annabelle’s comments to the paparazzi. When we finish, we decide to go shopping first. Since it is still early, Ryan hopes that not too many people will be out to bother us. We go down to my room to grab my jacket. Just as we get off the elevator and walk by the vending machine area, my room door opens. I push Ryan into the vending room and out of sight.

  “What are you doing?” Ryan insists.

  I silence him by putting my hand over his mouth. I really do not want to deal with Craig and Annabelle now. Peeking out the door, I see them come out of the room and walk right past us. Annabelle is complaining about something in her annoying, nasally voice.

  Ryan puts his arms around me and peeks out, too.

  At last, I get a good look at Annabelle. She isn’t that cute and is slightly overweight. She’s wearing skin tight jeans and a shirt cut so low that her breasts could fall out at any point. I also notice that she has helped herself to one of my necklaces.

  As soon as the elevator doors close on Craig and Annabelle, Ryan comments.

  “I don’t get it. He had you. And he gave you up for…for that?”

  I am so happy that this is Ryan’s response, I turn around and gave him a big kiss. “Thank you. I appreciate that. I know what I think of her, but I’m personally involved and wouldn’t think much of any girl in that situation.”

  Ryan wraps his arms around me and kisses me again.

  “Trust me. It’s a night and day difference. I don’t see what the draw is. She’s white trash. And she needs to stop wearing teenagers clothing.”

  “That makes me feel so much better. Maybe she’s really good in bed?” I think out loud. “Ryan, I hate to impose on you, but would I be able to take my things up to your suite and spend the night there tonight?”

  He gives me a confused look with a slightly devilish grin. “Of course it’s fine. I’d like nothing better than to have you all to myself tonight. But what did I miss?”

  “She was wearing my necklace. Who knows what else she’s taken. She’s welcome to my husband – soon to be ex – but that’s it.”

  “What a bitch. Let’s get your things and take them up to the suite.”

  He takes me hand and we walk to my room.

  Nothing else seems to be missing, so I hastily pack my bags, double and triple check to make sure I have everything. We take the bags up to Ryan’s suite and put them in the bedroom. Ryan gives me a quick hug and tells me to take a few minutes to settle myself. He leaves to go out into the other room, quietly closing the door behind him.

  With a heavy heart, I sit down on t
he bed. I flop backwards so I am looking up at the ceiling. I blink back tears. I am NOT going to cry over Craig. He is certainly not worth my tears. I have to be strong.

  Of course, it bothers me seeing Craig with Annabelle even after all the shit he has put me through. I keep saying that I am done with him and tell myself that he should not affect me anymore, but he does. I’m so irritated with myself. Why didn’t I confront them in the hallway? I should have the confidence especially with Ryan by my side. But no, I just hide in the vending room. How pathetic. I wonder if I will ever have the courage to stand up for myself.

  I take a few deep breaths, put Craig and the bitch out of my mind and check my emotions, then go out to join Ryan. He is standing by the window looking out. When he hears me open the door, he comes right over to me, puts his arms around me.

  “Are you ok?”

  My arms circle his waist and I lean my head on his shoulder.

  “Yes and no. But I’m going to make sure I’m ok from now on. I’m going to try my best to not let it bother me anymore. And I’m going to enjoy this day with you before I leave tomorrow.”

  “See? Again, stronger than you think.”

  He pulls me back and flashes his beautiful smile at me.

  “Alright. Let’s go enjoy our day.”

  “Don’t we need Jeremy?” I ask.

  “I think we’ll be ok today. It’s early yet.”

  We go down to the lobby to leave. As soon as we step out of the elevator, Ryan puts an arm around me and pulls me to his side. I assume it was paparazzi again and I mentally prepare myself for the barrage of questions and flashes from cameras. But I only see a couple of them when I look around. However, what I do see – or I should say who I see - is Craig and Annabelle. We will have to walk right by them to get out to the sidewalk. I feel Ryan’s grip tighten around me.

  “It’s ok,” I whisper to him, determined. Here is my chance to stand up. To show them that they don’t bother me.

  As we walk closer, Annabelle spots us and nudges Craig. As polite as I can be, I smile.

  “Hello Craig, Annabelle. Have a good day. Oh, Annabelle, nice necklace. I have one just like that.” I hear Ryan laugh next to me. Both Craig and Annabelle stare as we walk right on by. I also have the satisfaction of seeing Annabelle turn bright red and hear Craig ask about the necklace.

  “I’m so proud of you,” Ryan whispers and gives me a good, long kiss. I hear a couple of clicks from cameras, then we make our way to Ryan’s car. We get in, both of us laughing. “Did you see their faces when you smiled at them? And then the comment about the necklace? That was priceless. I wish I had a camera. That was perfect,” Ryan goes on.

  “God, that felt really good. I finally stood up to him.”

  “Yes, you did. Showing him that you, seeing the two of them together, does not bother you at all, is the best reaction you could give.” He grins at me. “But this is my day with you and we’re going to enjoy it. No more talking about them.”

  “Deal. Are you sure you’re going to be ok walking around the mall?”

  I’m not certain that we should go to the mall. Crazy fans could bug us the whole time.

  “Yes, it’ll be fine. If it gets out of hand, we’ll leave.”

  We are able to get in a couple hours of shopping without too many interruptions. At one point about six or seven people are surrounding him. One woman rudely knocks me out of the way.

  “Hey….”

  I am about to say something more to her, but she glares with hatred at me and I feel very uneasy. I decide to ignore her and patiently wait until Ryan is done dealing with the crowd. I start getting shoved out of the way as more and more people hear that Ryan Paxton is here at the mall.

  A few minutes later, the crowd gets worse. I am being pushed and shoved. I can’t see Ryan anymore. I cannot get out of this crowd of people. I see an opening, but I get shoved the other direction and my chance to escape is gone. I panic.

  From out of no where, Ryan grabs my hand and pulls me out of the crowd. Too many people had shown up and are wanting to get to Ryan. Mall security directs us to a restricted area. Another security guard leads us to the parking garage. We quickly get to the car. I am shaking so badly that I can’t get my seatbelt on. Ryan grabs my hands, letting the seat belt go, then wraps his arms around me trying to calm me down.

  Tears stream down my cheeks. I bawl into his shirt.

  “I’m sorry Olivia,” he whispers. “I’m sorry. You’re ok now. Nothing’s going to happen to you. You’re safe.”

  He keeps holding me and runs his hand up and down my back. I’m able to relax a little bit.

  “Does that happen a lot?” I ask with a shaky breath.

  “Every now and then the crowd will get a little out of hand. This time I think they were pushing trying to get closer to me.”

  “There was a blonde that very rudely shoved me out of the way. I was going to say something but when I looked at her, she gave me a crazy look, so I just backed off. She kept shooting me dirty looks while I was waiting. Then I got sucked into the crowd.”

  “Are you ok?” Ryan asks after a couple minutes of silence.

  I nod and Ryan starts the car and drives back to the Bellagio. After we drop off our shopping bags, we decide to grab some lunch.

  We get settled at a table and order. When our waiter leaves, we talk about what happened at the mall. Ryan tells me some other mob-fan stories. I shake my head in disbelief. How can people get so craze over someone?

  Ryan takes my hand in his and looks directly into my eyes. Uh, oh. He only studies my face like this when he wants to see my honest reaction.

  “Olivia, I don’t want you to freak out about this. Promise me you won’t freak out about this. OK?”

  I nod.

  “I know you’re not one who wants attention lavished on them. But I have an awards show coming up in a few weeks. I was wondering if you will go with me? I would be honored to have you there with me.”

  No way! This is awesome! I am thrilled that Ryan asks me to go. I will get to go to L.A. Spend some more time with Ryan. Get all dressed up. Meet… tons of… other… celebrities. Oh, no. No, no. I can’t go. What if I start acting like an idiot around them. I would embarrass Ryan. He’d probably wish he never asked me to go. Oh god! I am panicking and getting all stressed out just thinking about it. Then there is all the attention we will get. Ton of pictures and questions. If I’m getting this nervous just thinking about it, how will I get through that night? No, I cannot go with him.

  “I…I don’t know Ryan” I grasp at whatever excuse comes to mind. “I’ll probably be right in the middle of the divorce then. I’m not sure what will be going on at that time with it. And quite frankly, I think I’ll be a little afraid to leave my house empty. It might be too tempting for Craig to break in if he knows I’m gone.”

  “Olivia, stop stressing out over this. I’m sure one of your friends would house sit if you are really worried about Craig doing something. But just think about it, ok? I don’t want an answer right now.”

  “Alright. I’ll think about it.”

  He lets the subject drop. I sigh quietly, then glance at Ryan to see if he hears me. I don’t want to hurt him by telling him I don’t want to go. But I am sure I will embarrass him. Maybe he won’t bring it up again and I will not have to worry about it. Not likely.

  After lunch, we gamble a little right here at the Bellagio. Ryan plays roulette and does well. He tries to teach me how to play craps, but I do not understand everything. I can understand how people get addicted to gambling. It’s so fun when you win and you tell yourself you can win it back when you lose.

  Finally, we go back to Ryan’s suite and hang out. Ryan scheduled a massage therapist to come for both of us. The therapist sets up in the bedroom. Since Ryan has a couple phone calls to return, I go first. I find myself in heaven. This is even better than the one I had yesterday. Wow. How can anything feel so good?

  When I finish, I go out to get Ryan and th
en sit down on the couch, turn on the TV and wait for Ryan to be done with his massage. I lay down and rest my head on the arm of the couch. I start thinking again of how lucky I am to have met Ryan.

  Something is tickling my face. I raise my hand to brush it away and bump into something solid. My eyes fly open. There is Ryan, squatting down in front of me. His finger moves over my lips and gently pulls down my bottom lip. I cannot breathe. Abruptly his phone rings, breaking the moment and making me jump.

  “Olivia, you are so beautiful,” he whispers. He gives me a quick, but intense kiss before answering his phone. However, he stays where he is and keeps his eyes on mine while he takes the call.

  My heart is hammering, like it is having a heart attack. I have trouble catching my breath. Finally, Ryan breaks eye contact and he gets up to pace. It takes a while for my heart to calm down. What a way to be woken up! I sit up and think about Ryan, which I am sure is what he wants me to do. He wants me to think about him and want him. Well, he does not have to try so freaking hard. I’m having enough trouble not thinking about him all the time on my own.

  After he gets off the phone, Ryan sits down beside me. He turns to look at me. “You know, it’s going to be really difficult for me to let you leave tomorrow. I don’t know when I’ll see you again.”

  “I know.” I sigh and reach out to hold both of his hands. “I’ve been thinking of that, too. I’m going to miss you so much. But you can always get a hold of me: cell, email, text, visit…whatever. You’ve become a really good… friend.”

  “Just a friend, huh? I guess I’ve got to work on that,” he says, sounding disappointed. He lifts our joined hands and kisses mine.

  I give him an apologetic look.

  “Friends for now. Although I’ve been telling you everything and am so comfortable with you that you’re more like a best friend. But, you know that before I decide if I can get involved with you, I need to get everything straightened out. I’ve already dragged you into this mess with Craig. I don’t want you to get buried in it, and have you end up hating me for putting you through it.”