Tonic

by Heather Lloyd

  “Never!” Ryan replies immediately. “I could never hate you.”

  “I don’t know Ryan. I’m so scared of getting attached to you. Maybe you’ll just forget about me when I leave and you’re back to your celebrity life. Then I’m only left with just the memory of these wonderful days with you.”

  Ryan shakes his head and starts to say something, but I cut him off.

  “I’m just saying I need more time because I have all these doubts. And I’m hoping that I’ll get back my self-confidence once I kick him out.”

  “And maybe once you gain your confidence again, you’ll not worry about me being a celebrity.”

  “Hum. Maybe.”

  Ryan rolls his eyes at me. “Let’s get some food. What sounds good?”

  “You know what? A burger and fries sound really good.”

  “Are you ok with room service or did you want to go somewhere?”

  “Room service.”

  “You got it,” he says as he gets up to call in our order.

  Once our food arrives, we eat sitting on the couch while watching the entertainment shows. Of course, Ryan and I are still the hot topic. Another picture surfaces where Ryan is kissing my cheek and I am grinning. The host comments on what a cute couple we are. Secretly, I’m thrilled with that comment. But then they talked about how I am married and Ryan is in a love triangle once again and give a recap of his love life over the past year.

  “That never happened,” Ryan starts commenting on each one they mention. “They had been hoping Leslie and I would hook up, but we’ve been nothing but friends.”

  Leslie Day is Ryan’s costar in Surrender.

  “I did go out with Victoria a couple times, but there was no love triangle. Same with Melissa. Nicky? I never dated Nicky. How did they come up with that one? Just because I was in a movie with her?”

  I’m amused by his reaction. It seems like he wants to make sure I know the person he really is, not what they are making him out to be.

  We finish our food and leave the plates on the coffee table. Ryan leans back, relaxing. As if it is the most natural thing in the world to me, I scoot closer and cuddle against him. His arm automatically circles around me and pulls me even closer. I can feel his heart pounding, it matches mine. He sighs and nuzzles my ear.

  “Olivia? This is what I want. This makes me happy- content.”

  I inhale sharply and let out a shaky breath. I want it, too. But it also terrifies me so much more than he can know or understand. But I want to be honest with him.

  “I know. And I do want this, too.”

  “I’ll be waiting for you.”

  I melt. “I have no right to ask you wait. You should be out having fun.”

  Ryan turns so he is facing me more. He holds onto my shoulder and with his right hand he lifts my face.

  “You haven’t asked me to wait. I’m telling you that I’ll wait for you. That’s completely my choice.”

  Ryan kisses me long and hard. He breaks the kiss and looks into my eyes.

  “Got it?”

  I nod.

  “Besides, I won’t have to wait too long,” he smirks, his eyes twinkling. He pulls me back to his side, his arm pressing me into him.

  Wow. That kiss. I just stop thinking whenever he kisses me. That is not good. Soon my mind starts thinking again and I realize what Ryan just said.

  “You don’t think you’ll have to wait long? You are arrogant, aren’t you? Just so you know, you are not as charming as you think you are,” I say, nonchalantly.

  I try to sit up and scoot away from him. He just pulls me back to him and circles both arms around me so I can’t go anywhere. We are both giggling and having fun teasing.

  “Ha, I am so charming you will not be able to resist me. And if you try, I’ll just talk you into it.”

  “Really?” I snort, again sounding blasé.

  “Yes, really! Don’t waste your time worrying your pretty head about it. It’s inevitable. People succumb to me all the time” he shrugs. “Now. No more antagonizing me. This is our last night together for a while, I want to enjoy it.”

  “I am enjoying it. You’re the one who’s arguing with me.”

  “Hush.”

  He turns on a movie and we talk a little while watching it.

  “Hey, Beautiful. It’s time to wake up,” Ryan whispers and kisses my cheek.

  “Hmm. What time is it?”

  “4:30 am. I know you need time to get ready.”

  “Thanks.”

  I don’t know if I was still asleep or what, but I am very confused to my whereabouts.

  “Where am I?”

  He suddenly turns on the light. I blink against the brightness.

  “I carried you into the bedroom after you fell asleep. It was too uncomfortable to sleep on the couch. I knew I’d get you in my bed soon enough,” he teases, grinning at me.

  That smile wakes me up, gets my blood pumping.

  “Ha. Ha. Thanks for carrying me to the bed,” I say, as I sit up. “Know what? Now I can honestly say that I slept with Ryan Paxton. And not a single person would think that we just slept together.”

  “What a little tease you are. I have to keep my eye on you. God, I am really going to miss you.” He yawns and gets up to walk over to my side of the bed. “I’m taking you to the airport myself.”

  “Oh Ryan. You don’t have to do that. I can just take a cab. Go back to sleep.”

  He pulls me up off the bed. “Hell, no. You will not take a cab, Olivia Sterling. Besides, I’m being greedy. I want all the time I can get with you.” He hugs me.

  “Mmm. Ok. I’ll be greedy too and let you take me to the airport.”

  I go to take a shower, get ready and pack up all my things. Ryan and I haul my suitcases down to his waiting car. As Ryan drives to the airport, he holds my hand. It is a quiet ride. We both try to talk but neither of us feel like it. I think we are both thinking how long it will be before we see each other again.

  We get to the airport and I check in. Ryan goes with me as far as the security check. He cannot go any farther.

  “Will you call me when you get in to Kansas City, so I know you got there ok?” He takes me into his arms.

  “Of course I will.” I sound so depressed.

  “Just think. You won’t have to deal with cameras in your face and questions being thrown at you every time you step out to go somewhere,” he says trying to make me laugh.

  I snort out a laugh and put my head on his shoulder.

  “I know, Sweetheart. I wish I were going with you. I’m worried about what you’re going to have to face when Craig gets back tomorrow.”

  “Don’t worry. I can handle it. You are the one who said I’m stronger than I think.”

  “Yes, I said that and it is true. I still wish I wasn’t going to be so far away.”

  “Me, too. Your support is already making me stronger. But I have lots of friends back home who will help me with anything I need.”

  I hug him tighter. His arms squeeze me securely.

  “I’ll miss you so much. You’ve come to mean so much to me. I’m not going to let you go or forget about you,” he says matter-of-factly.

  “Good. I’ll hold you to that,” I sniff, with tears in my eyes. I finally let him go.

  Ryan takes my face in both of his hands and kisses me. It is one of those kisses that goes on and on. It makes me tingle all over, forget who I am and makes me think of the possibilities if it continues on.

  “Wow,” I whisper when Ryan breaks the kiss.

  “Yeah, just remember these fireworks,” he whispers back. “I’m going to miss you so much.”

  “Me, too.”

  “OK. You need to go; time has run out. Good-bye my beautiful girl.”

  I just wave because I will start bawling if I say anything. As I walk to security, a few tears slip out. These feelings are silly. I just met Ryan. How can I have such deep feelings for someone a just met? But I am definitely leaving part of my heart behind w
ith him. I am in serious trouble and scared to death.

  Chapter 6

  Disheartened, I enter the plane and find a seat. Across the aisle from me are three college age girls looking thru the latest trash magazine. I hear them talking about Ryan and me. I keep my face turned away from them and for once pray that someone will come sit next to me so they can hide me and distract me from thinking about Ryan. I don’t want the girls to recognize me and ask tons of questions about Ryan. Thankfully, an elderly couple sit down and chit-chats with me. Unfortunately, once we take off, both start reading and I am left to myself.

  Since I have no distractions most of the way back to Kansas City, I think of Ryan. How can I not? I feel like I am in a fairy tale where I met and fell for the handsome prince. Every now and then a few tears slip out, scared that these last few days have been just a dream. I STILL have trouble believing that I met Ryan Paxton, spent the last four days with him and that he wants to get to know me and possibly wants to be with me. I really like him. I like him so much more than I should for just having met him. Plus, it is a little scary to me how well we seem to fit together.

  Now that I am away from him, I try to figure out exactly what I feel for him and what I’m going to do about him. I’m so happy when I am with him. How can I feel this way about him already? Is this love at first sight? I’m just not sure if I believe in it. There is no other explanation for my feelings. Ryan understands me so well. I just cannot explain it.

  Of course, being away from him, the doubts also creep in. Maybe I am just feeling this way because he’s Ryan Paxton – mega movie star, and I’m fascinated, reading too much into the past four days because of that. Is he just amusing himself with me for a few days? What if he doesn’t answer his phone when I call him and I never hear from him again? I will be devastated. With Craig already destroying most of my happiness, Ryan’s rejection would make me hit rock bottom.

  That’s just great. Now I’m getting myself all worked up with this worry. Panic is about to set in. My heart beats frantically. I try to calm down, telling myself that if all I get from Ryan is the past few days, then those days will be the best days of my life. I will remember them always. I concentrate on all the fun things we did and everything we talked about. I do have pictures to look at and remember. I just need to remember to take one day at a time.

  At long last, the airplane starts to descend into Kansas City, lands and taxies to the gate. I take a deep breath in, blow it out and prepare myself to kick some butt when I get back to the house. I walk off the plane and up the ramp into the airport. As I walk out of the ramp, I see Taylor just outside the gate. She is frantically pointing to her right. I glance over and see some reporters. Shit! I have to deal with them here, too.

  OK, no problem. I can deal with them. I mentally prepare myself.

  As I walk toward Taylor, cameras start clicking and questions start flying. I grab Taylor’s arm, tell her to just smile and we start walking toward the baggage claim.

  “Did you have a good flight, Olivia?”

  “Where is your husband, Craig?”

  “Is Ryan going to come visit you?”

  “What’s going on with you and Ryan?”

  “Why are you seeing Ryan when you are clearly still married to Craig?”

  “Yes, I had a great flight. Thank you,” I reply to the first question, ignore the other questions and flash them what I hope is a pretty smile. It must be since they take more pictures. I avoid all questions they ask about Ryan.

  The three girls from the plane are off to my left. Their mouths hang open as they watch me and my entourage walk down the hallway.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Taylor trying not to gawk at me, but isn’t quite successful. Thankfully, the baggage carousel is bringing the luggage in already. I grab my suitcases from the carousel and turn toward Taylor, giving her a brilliant smile. “Let’s go.”

  Taylor grabs one of my suitcases from me. We walk toward the parking garage. I hope Taylor didn’t have to park too far away. As we walk, Taylor speaks low to me.

  “You’ve been through hell this week, haven’t you? But it looks like you’re doing ok. You handled those reporters like a pro. Just so you’re prepared, there’s been a couple people – reporters, I assume – at your house and work, too.”

  “What?!”

  She nods her head to confirm.

  Great. Looks like I am not going to have any privacy for a while. I wonder how long it will take for all this to calm down.

  “Well, with Craig blabbing about who you are, I assume they’re trying to find out more about you.”

  “Damn Craig and his big, fat mouth. I’m sure they’re also here to see if Ryan came back with me,” I say, poking my thumb to the media behind us. “They must be disappointed.”

  “Maybe they’ll back off and leave you alone now.”

  “Let’s hope so,” I say as we get to Taylor’s car. We put my suitcases in the trunk, get in and slip on my sunglasses. I wave to one of the reporters trying to get one last picture before we drive away.

  Taylor leaves the garage and pulls out into bright sunlight to drive to my house. I take out my cell phone to call Ryan to let him know I got back ok but see that I have a message. I put the phone on speaker so Taylor can hear, too.

  “Hi Beautiful. I miss you so much already. Knowing you, I’m sure you’re starting to think on your flight back. Stop it. I’m serious about being with you and not letting you go. Stop thinking that I’ll ignore you or forget about you now that you’re out of my sight. I’ll be calling you every day. In fact, you’ll probably get tired of me calling all the time and tell me to get lost. But seriously, I miss you. Call me when your flight lands so I know you’re ok.”

  “Ohmigod! Olivia!” Taylor exclaims. “You two are more serious than I thought. I know I teased you about getting involved with Ryan, but I didn’t really think you would get with him. Why didn’t you tell me?”

  My anxiety slides away, happiness replaces it. “Probably because I’m in denial of how serious it is already. How can we be so serious already, Taylor? We just met.”

  “Sometimes is just works out that way.”

  “I’m still wondering why he wants to be with me. I’m also scared, so I’m trying not to get too involved right now. And who knows what Craig’s going to do when he finds out that I’ve kick him out and filed for divorce. I don’t want to drag Ryan into that.” He doesn’t need to deal with that crap. “I’m going to call him really quick.”

  The phone rings once before he answers.

  “Hi Beautiful! God, I miss you.”

  My heart soars when I hear his voice and I can’t stop smiling. I am in serious trouble.

  “I miss you, too.”

  “Your flight was ok?”

  “Yes, no problems. I just had a lot of time to think about things. What have you been doing? Did you get some more sleep?”

  “No. I’ve been doing nothing. Just sitting here in the hotel room. Vegas is boring.”

  “Now that is not true. There are tons of things to do in Vegas” I laugh.

  “But they’re not fun without you,” he insists.

  “You’ll find something to do. Plus, you leave on Sunday so you don’t have too much time to fill.”

  “Yeah, yeah.”

  “Ryan,” I hesitate. I know he’ll be upset, but I have to tell him. “I had a few reporters waiting for me when I got here. And Taylor told me some have been nosing around my house and work, too.”

  Ryan groans and curses under his breath. “I’m sorry, Olivia. I was hoping they would leave you alone when you left here and I didn’t go with you. Just try to ignore them and don’t let them frustrate you. They’re just looking for a reaction, a story from you.”

  “I know. I got used to them in Vegas. I’m a quick learner. I observed you and know just how you handled them. I wasn’t expecting them to be here. Taylor warned me just a second before they started in on me. I answered a couple questions and smile
d the whole time. I ignored the questions about you. I think they were hoping you came back with me. Now that they know you didn’t, I’m hoping they’ll leave me alone.”

  “I wish I did go back to Kansas City with you. But don’t count on being left alone by the paparazzi.”

  Those reporters won’t keep hounding me when Ryan’s not around, would they? And I am not going to give them information about Ryan, so why wouldn’t they give up. I dismiss Ryan’s comment.

  “Anyway, I have to let you go. I need to strategize with Taylor about what we’re doing today. Call me any time, ok?”

  “Yes, I will call you, and you call me, too, if you need me or just to talk. Anytime. I mean it. Let me know as soon as you hear from Craig. I want to know his reaction and what he says to you.”

  “I promise, I will call. I miss you, Ryan. Talk to you soon.”

  I am brilliantly happy when I end the call and put the phone back in my purse. I don’t remember the last time I was so happy. It’s been a while.

  “You are radiating happiness. I can’t believe you and Ryan Paxton are together,” Taylor squeals.

  “I know, right? But we’re not together, together. We’re just friends.”

  Taylor snorts. “Just friends? Girl, no. You’re together. You may not be romantically involved, yet – ’cause I know that’s coming – but you are involved. I can see it in your eyes.”

  Taylor knows me too well, Sarah too. It’s a good thing she isn’t here to also tease me. Of course, Taylor can see how happy I am now compared to the miserable being I was when I left. And with finding out that Annabelle is the one Craig is cheating on me with, I should be in a downward spiral of misery. Instead I am happy, cheerful and not caring about Craig. But I decide to play with Taylor a little bit.

  “How do you know we’re not romantically involved?”

  “Please, Olivia. Give me some credit. How long have I known you? If you and Ryan had gotten busy between the sheets, you’d be floating three feet off the ground. Plus, you’d be in la-la-land, daydreaming about you and Ryan,” she replies arrogantly.

  I roll my eyes, unwilling to admit that she’s right.