White Oblivion

by Amirah Bellamy

  We all sat on the edge of our seats waiting for him to say the words. We were all thinking it and more than that we were living this nightmare and couldn’t wait for the opportunity to openly discuss it. So we all stared at Kwan intensely waiting for him to blurt it out. It seemed that once he did we could all exhale.

  We had all been so nervous and uptight while struggling with trying to deal with the circumstances of our changed bodies. It was a welcomed surprise to be in a room full of others who too were living out the same nightmare and so when Kwan brought it up we all felt a huge weight lifted. We couldn’t wait to hear him say the words out loud. It seemed that hearing the words publicly out loud made it easier to accept. More than that hearing that others out there were going through it made it easier to cope.

  Kwan looked around the room then continued, “A few days ago I woke up to find that my beautiful, brown-skinned wife Alicia had transformed into a white woman. At first, I thought that it was some sick joke and that Alicia was somewhere hiding. Then after coming to grips with the fact that the white woman was Alicia I faced the most difficult 3 days of my life. It was a lot harder for Alicia than it was for me. She has barely been able to sleep. She won’t come out of the room and I’ve been lying to my kids about what’s going on with her. We’ve been living a nightmare. I’m looking around the room right now and from the looks on your faces I see that I’m not alone. When it first happened I didn’t know what to do. I was afraid to tell anyone because I thought for sure they’d think I was crazy. But then my man Ron came by scared as hell saying that something happened to his queen. I knew what he meant before he finished the sentence. After that I heard one story after the next, each describing the same thing.”

  Kwan paused and took a long look at all of us. He then continued taking on an even more serious tone. “Something is happening to us and it’s big. It’s not happening to all of us, but it is happening to those certain ones of us on what I’ll say is on a certain frequency. In other words, some of us have tuned into a certain radio station and picked up on certain radio waves if you know what I mean. What that means is that if you’re here, you are obviously one of those few. More than that, if you know what I’m talking about you definitely are one of the few. I know that like me you have a lot of questions about what is going on and I don’t really have any answers. However, what I do know is that this all has something to do with the Divine Marriage. What I’ve learned is that everyone of us who came, planned on coming and thought about coming to this workshop has been affected by this…. ‘phenomenon.’ Yes everyone of us,” Kwan continued over the whispers that had begun to penetrate what was moments prior a dead silent room.

  “I know that might have ya’ll buggin even more, but that’s what I’ve learned so far. What I also know is that this workshop is a very special workshop. We have some very powerful information to share with you all tonight as we said in all of the advertisements. This year’s workshop isn’t going to be like the others. This workshop is going to take us all to the next level. Now I don’t know if that has anything to do with what’s going on or not, but I do know that it can’t just be a coincidence. Anyway, I know that I haven’t answered any of your questions, but I hope that I have at least eased your minds a bit. What I propose that we do to get more answers is to proceed with tonight’s workshop as planned. I have a strong feeling that as we go through the workshop the answers will come. In fact, I feel that something huge is going to transpire here tonight. So I want you all to just be open to receive tonight’s share,” Kwan concluded.

  We all nodded in agreement, though with the look of a million more questions floating around in our heads. Nonetheless, we settled ourselves as we prepared to focus on the workshop and let things flow as they may.

  I grabbed ahold of Doran’s hand, then unafraid of what others thought of our interracial pairing as I was comforted by his company. He looked over at me and smiled grabbing my hand tighter.

  I didn’t know what to expect and part of me didn’t expect anything. Though at the same time I was very certain that I was ready for everything. It was weird, but with all that had already transpired it was the first time in days that I felt any sense of certainty about anything even as weird as this certainty was.

  13

  We all got settled in our seats and looked straight ahead at Kwan as if all in agreement and preparing to take the journey forward together. I felt like I was on the Starship Enterprise or something preparing to explore new life, new civilizations and boldly go where no man has gone before. I felt like Scotty had just beamed me up.

  Just then Kwan introduced the guest speaker who was someone we’d never heard speak at any of the other events, but who we were all very familiar with as she was a popular author of a book entitled, “The Black Universe.” Her name was Connie Murphy and she was what many of us considered a literary oracle. Her books were fiction, but to us that was a mere technical term.

  We all firmly believed that Connie was a master channeler, meaning she received and communicated messages from the spiritual realm. She was a deep sistah very in tuned with her spirituality. It was Doran who had introduced me to her books. Prior to reading them I was probably not what most would have considered the most spiritual person or anyone who was too into the woo woo stuff. However, Doran changed all of that by introducing me to Connie’s books.

  Connie did her research too and was quite knowledgeable about what many considered the metaphysical. After reading her books my whole perspective on the subject had forever changed. So I was pleasantly surprised that she was the guest speaker. From the looks on everyone else’s face so were they.

  Connie was a short, stocky sistah with long, well-maintained locs. For as short as she was she had a very commanding presence. She had the most piercing eyes and when she looked at you it seemed that she saw clear through to your soul.

  Connie began organizing her papers as Kwan pointed to a pitcher of water and a glass that had been prepared for her before she moved toward the microphone. There was no stage in the room so they used a podium with a microphone attached that had a small area where the speaker could rest any papers with notes. There was also a small table located behind the podium where Connie had stored more materials. She also had a clicker for a slide show presentation that was paused and ready to be projected onto the wall behind her.

  We all sat alert and eager for Connie to begin. She looked up, smiled warmly then greeted us, “Peace everyone!”

  We all replied, “Peace.”

  “I see ya’ll ready for me to tell you something good this evening, but looking around I have a question for you! Man so what the hell is going on? Yes, I’m asking the same question as you! I promise you this whole thing has got me trippin too. I’ve never seen nothing like it. Now what I will say is that this is happening to us all over the place. It’s not just happening here. I’ve been on the road on a book tour for the past few months and I’ve seen it happening everywhere. I guess that’s why they asked me to speak to ya’ll. I heard that it just happened here over the past week or so. But let me tell you it’s been happening other places longer than that. I know ya’ll want to know what it is and I hate to tell you but I don’t have any definitive answers. I can tell you something about it based on my work and what I’ve decoded thus far, but you each still have to do your own work to figure out for yourselves what it means for you,” Connie began to explain.

  The instant Connie began asking about the strange things that were going on the energy in the entire room shifted as everyone seemed to be on the edge of their seats eager to hear her thoughts on the matter.

  I think I even stopped breathing for what seemed like 10 minutes. I couldn’t believe how much had changed for me in so short a period of time. For starters, I had no idea when I woke up this morning that the day would unfold as it had. Since leaving home everything as I knew it had changed. Then, over the past few days my life had been turned upside down and it was getting crazier by the minute. What
I’d seen and heard over the past several minutes blew my mind and it seemed that there was no way that any of it could be real. However, I knew that it was real because I was living it. So I knew that as sure as I was breathing air it was real.

  Though lately, I began to question what was real anyway? I wondered if what I thought to be real all along was truly real. Who was to say that what we thought was real truly was. It could have been just that we were taught and conditioned to believe it to be so.

  I sat there waiting for Connie to continue with a million questions like that buzzing through my mind a mile a minute. I didn’t know what to believe anymore. I didn’t even know whether I believed my own eyes anymore. For all I know I was dreaming all of this up and had been for some time. Perhaps I was beginning to wake up and I really was white.

  Then I began to wonder if maybe I’d been transported to some other time period or some other place. Maybe life as I knew it really wasn’t. Who was I anyway? I’d always felt so out of place anyway. It seemed the only one who got me was Doran, which was why we were so quickly drawn to one another. It seemed one day we met and the next we were married almost like it was all one action. Doran could always answer all of my questions no matter how quirky. He never judged me for questioning nor did he poke fun at me. In fact, he seemed to share in my inquisitiveness. It was a trait that we both had in common among other things.

  As my mind buzzed with a million thoughts Doran looked over at me as if reading my mind as usual. He knew what I was thinking and was likely wondering the same things. Moments seemed like an eternity as we waited for Connie to continue. She took a long pause before continuing and appeared to be channelling. She had closed her eyes for a few moments then looked out at us with a dazed look almost as if she was looking past us. However, the intensity in her stare let us know that all of her attention was directed toward us.

  As Connie parted her lips to speak I inhaled deeply finally taking a breath and feeling an eerie sense of calm overcome me. My heart rate slowed, my shoulders relaxed and my jaws loosened and I was open and ready to receive her message. It was time for the revelation of what I’d been living through over the past few days and everything in me knew it. I was ready. In fact, we all were and it could be felt throughout the room as the energy had shifted once again.

  14

  The room was quiet enough to hear a pin drop as we all sat on the edge of our seats anticipating what felt like a long awaited revelation. It was clearly written on everyone’s face that we all just wanted to regain some control over what was happening to us. We all felt like something else had taken control over our very reality and it was an unwelcomed feeling.

  After what seemed like an eternity Connie parted her lips and uttered the first word of power, at least that’s what it felt like. It seemed that anyone with some form of an explanation had the power, not so much over us personally as over our collective destiny. We all wanted our power back and knowing gave us a sense of regaining just that.

  “Before I begin I want you all to know that what I’m about to tell you is what I received through a channel. That said, nothing that I say is written in stone. In fact, you each may come into an entirely different explanation so don’t take it as your sole truth,” Connie explained before pausing.

  “As I was writing, doing some work on my most recent book I was overcome by a strong urge to go to a mirror. So I followed the urge and when I got to the mirror I couldn’t believe my eyes. Like many of you I saw a white woman staring back at me. She appeared to be a white version of me. Now for me this wasn’t surprising, nor did it scare me as many of my channels occur in this way. In fact, it was something that I always had a curiosity about.”

  Then briefly pausing she continued, “So anyway, I calmly looked at her in the mirror and began to speak to her. I started by asking her what she wanted me to know. She replied by saying that she was me from a past life and that she had appeared to me in this life because the energy from that lifetime had come back online. She went on to explain that I existed in her form during a time when we were all colorless. It was a time when we were in a lower form plagued by a lot of fear and hatred. That was our normal state of being at that time and we knew of nothing else as we had succumb to a highly intense emotional state. During that time emotion ruled over us. We had lost all sense of spirituality over the course of our descent into this form and were a warring world. All we did was fight. We existed in a perpetual state of resistance and savagery. She explained to me that this wasn’t our original form, but it was a form that we had taken on as a result of succumbing to our emotions. So it was a part of our history in which we descended, a part that we had somehow blocked out,” Connie explained.

  We all began to get more uneasy as we listened on. No doubt others throughout the room were questioning what Connie was saying. We had never before heard of anything like it and many of us were simply not prepared to receive it. It appeared to be a dark period of our past that had seemingly come back to haunt us like the ghost that many of us saw in the mirror staring back at us.

  I certainly had questions about Connie’s share. If what she said was true, why was this happening to certain ones of us. Were we more hateful than others? Were we being punished for past behaviors? Was this going to happen to all of us? What could we do to reverse it? Was there even a way to reverse it? These and many other questions ran through my mind as I listened on.

  “I know that this wasn’t what you were probably expecting to hear, but its what I got. Now I don’t know if this means that we’re heading for descent rather than ascent, but if nothing else we can take it as a warning. It may be a warning of what is to come if we don’t quickly make some changes. Perhaps we are not doing enough to ascend. Perhaps we are not focused enough. Perhaps we are too easily influenced by the distractions of this time. Perhaps we are not loving enough. Perhaps we have strayed too far from who we truly are. Whatever the case its a sign that we have work to do and we need to do it quickly. I’ve been on tour traveling the world for the past several months and this thing seems to be spreading like the plague. I wouldn’t be surprised if soon the entire world isn’t white-washed. What’s more is that soon, not only will you all look white, but you will begin to act like them and take on their less than desirable, annoying characteristics,” Connie continued looking around the room.

  “You each know what I’m talking about,” she said pausing momentarily. “The arrogance, selfishness, childishness and superiority complex that we’ve all had to live with. So be very mindful of your emotions. The full descent into this form could sneak up on you like a thief in the night. It’s an energy that is predatory in nature so do not fall prey to it. It fact, it is our ignorance of our rightful place as predators that has gotten us into this bind.”

  We all looked around the room at each other confused as ever by what Connie had just said. What did she mean, we were predators? We had a history of being a peaceful people. We never preyed on the weak. If anything that behavior had always been linked to our white counterpart. The more I listened on the more I began to question what Connie was saying.

  “Looking at your faces I know that what I just said has shocked you. I know that it’s not something that you’re used to hearing and you’re probably not even ready to accept it, but it’s true. It’s your truth. It’s a truth that’s been hidden from you and that you’ve been programmed to forget. You’ve been programmed to be cattle, sheep…. prey. Think about it, in your religions you’re told to pray and are then herded around like cattle while waiting for something outside of yourself to solve your problems and save you. You’re told that maintaining the herd mentality is the preferred manner of thinking. You’re told to follow the Word of God, the laws of man, the rules of your parents and school. If you do anything to the contrary you’re punished and ostracized. Meanwhile, those telling you to do these things do not do as you do. Without you as their flock they would be nothing, they could not feed, they could not survive as the parasi
tes they are. Yet…. there are those among us who’ve been misguided into being prey, who aren’t meant to be prey, whose divine purpose is to be among the predators who’ve come here tasked with a divine mission to prevent our descent further into this lower form. We know who we are. It’s each of us sitting in this room right now. If you weren’t one among the predators you would not be here right now. You would not hear the message that I’m delivering to you. The truth is that we come from a long line of predators and we have left the evidence of that all around us despite what we’ve been taught. Look around and you’ll see. I’ll give you a hint, starting with your own ancient mythology. Now that’s all. The rest is up to you. This situation will continue to unfold whether you choose to research this further or not. Yet how it unfolds depends solely on you putting in the work to resolve it,” Connie concluded.

  With that Connie turned and stepped away from the podium. We all starred on speechless. I don’t think that any of us clearly understood any of what she had said. It certainly wasn’t the message that we were expecting. Then again, I’m not sure what we actually expected since everything that had already taken place was so totally unexpected.

  Kwan closed out the event. Then, with looks of confusion and uncertainty we all began to file out of the building in silence and seemingly deep in thought. There was none of the usual hanging around afterwards to make small talk about the event or anything. We all just left in silence.

  15

  When I got into the car I immediately asked Doran, “What the hell was that?”

  “Yeah I was wondering the same thing, but then I got to thinking. She’s right,” Doran replied.

  “Hunh? Now I definitely wasn’t expecting that response, but I do see what you’re saying. Hmph…. So you believe that we are the natural predators of the world too?” I asked.