The Uncertain Years

by Beryl Matthews

  ‘What are you wearing?’ Alice asked, as they snatched an afternoon cup of tea together.

  ‘I’ve only got one frock. It’s a bit old, but it’ll look all right after a press.’

  Alice shook her head in disapproval. ‘The first chance we get I’m taking you shopping. You don’t care much about clothes, do you?’

  ‘I was always with the boys, messing about with the old motorbike, so it didn’t seem to matter what I wore.’

  ‘I’ll have to cure you of that,’ Alice told her. ‘You’re such a pretty girl, and ought to wear nice things. I wonder … Come with me.’

  They went to Alice’s billet and she pulled a case out from under her bunk. It was full of clothes.

  ‘Your things won’t fit me,’ Becky protested. ‘You’re at least three inches shorter, and I’m a larger build.’

  ‘I know that, but I’m handy with a needle.’ She rummaged in the box and pulled out a dark green skirt. ‘This is too long for me. Now, what can we put with it? Ah, this, I think.’

  ‘Oh that’s lovely, but I’ll never get in that.’ Her friend was holding up a cream blouse covered in self-coloured embroidery.

  ‘Hmm.’ Alice examined the garment. ‘It’s got short sleeves, so that won’t be a problem. I could move the buttons over and let out a couple of darts. We’ve got a few minutes to try the skirt and blouse on so I can see what needs to be done.’

  Becky was sure this was a waste of time, but her friend was insistent, so she did as ordered. The skirt wouldn’t fasten, and neither would the blouse. She was disappointed because they were nice. ‘I told you they wouldn’t fit.’

  Alice ignored her, tugging and measuring. ‘Don’t fuss. The skirt’s long enough, and as it’s full, the hips are no problem; I just need to alter the waist. There’s two darts back and front of the blouse, and that should make it big enough for you.’ She stood back to take a good look. ‘It suits you. Take it off, and I’ll have it ready by tonight. What about shoes? There’s no way mine will fit you.’

  ‘I’ve got a pair of black shoes with a small heel.’

  ‘They’ll have to do.’

  Becky hurriedly dressed again in her army trousers and shirt. ‘I’ve got to get back.’

  ‘Come here an hour before we leave for the dance, and that will give me enough time to make any last-minute alterations.’

  ‘I’ll bring my frock with me – just in case.’

  ‘There’s no need; I know what I’m doing. Now go, or you’ll be late.’ Alice waved her away, already picking at stitches.

  There was great excitement in the camp as the girls anticipated the evening ahead, and as instructed Becky went to Alice early. Her friend was a picture in lilac, with her blonde hair loose for a change. Her frock had short sleeves, fitted to the waist, and then fell away to flare around the hem. The only jewellery she wore was the gold chain with Anthony’s ring hanging from it. It brought a lump to Becky’s throat. ‘Just wait until those Canadians get a look at you,’ she teased. ‘I’ll get crushed in the stampede.’

  Her friend waved away the compliment. ‘Come on, try these now.’

  Much to her amazement the skirt and blouse fitted perfectly, and when she looked at herself in the mirror she could hardly believe it. She looked smart and elegant, which was unusual for her, she thought wryly.

  Alice did a final check and then stood back, viewing her friend critically. ‘It’s a treat to get you out of shirt and trousers. You’ve got a lovely shape, and no wonder the colonel finds you attractive enough to want to marry you. With a bit of care and decent clothes you’re stunning, and he knows that. He’s not daft, is he?’

  ‘He might believe he could make me look the part, but the illusion would end the moment I opened my mouth. But don’t let us talk about things that can never be, and just enjoy ourselves tonight.’

  ‘Good idea. Subject closed.’ Alice picked up her bag. ‘You’re driving by the way.’

  ‘I already know that.’

  There was a lot of laughter and excited chatter from the girls as they climbed into the lorries. Men weren’t allowed on this trip and quite a few were standing around complaining bitterly about being left out. Even the drivers were women.

  When they arrived at the camp a Canadian soldier jumped in beside Alice, looked across at Becky and said, ‘I’ll show you where to park.’

  ‘Thanks.’

  ‘Straight on, past the first huts, turn right and you’ll see a crowd of eager men waiting to escort you to the mess. We’ve made it look real good.’ Then he swivelled around to look at the girls in the back. ‘Evening, ladies, we’re going to have a great night.’

  Becky parked and the other lorries followed, stopping in a neat row. So many girls had wanted to come, but they had just managed to get them all on three lorries. As soon as the engines were turned off, men swarmed around to help the girls down.

  The men had certainly worked hard to transform the room into a suitable dance hall. The place was decorated with streamers, and Canadian and British flags were everywhere. As soon as they stepped inside and were divested of their coats, the Canadian band struck up a lively quick step, and the evening was under way.

  They were such a good crowd, and as there were more men than women, all the girls were swung on to the dance floor without a chance to rest.

  ‘My feet are killing me,’ Becky gasped, trying to catch her breath after a particularly energetic dance.

  ‘Well, they’re playing the last waltz …’

  That was all Alice had time to say as they were both pounced upon for the dance.

  After both the national anthems were played, they were formally thanked for coming, and were given a round of applause for making it such an enjoyable evening.

  ‘I’d better round up the girls,’ Alice said.

  ‘And the best of luck,’ Becky remarked. ‘I have a feeling some might be missing.’

  ‘I’ll sort them out.’ Alice did a good impression of a sergeant major as she set about gathering up all the girls.

  Becky began walking towards the lorries parked a short distance away, and because of the strict blackout it was quite dark.

  ‘Did you enjoy the evening?’ a quiet male voice asked as he fell into step beside her.

  Startled, she spun round and was looking up at David. ‘Oh yes, very much, and the men seemed to have a good time as well.’

  ‘So they should with three lorry loads of attractive girls to dance with.’

  Everyone was now streaming over to the vehicles. ‘Thank you for arranging this for us. I must go, but I’ll write and tell you all about it.’

  ‘You’re driving?’

  She nodded.

  ‘I’ll walk with you.’ When he saw her doubtful expression, he said, ‘Don’t worry, Rebecca. You’re not in uniform, and you were the one who asked me to set up this entertainment, so it’s only natural I should want to know how it went.’

  ‘Yes, Colonel,’ she said in a clear voice in case anyone wondered what she was doing with an officer.

  ‘You look lovely in that outfit. Did you buy it for this evening?’

  ‘No, it belongs to Alice, and she altered it to fit me. Er … how did you know what I was wearing?’

  ‘I slipped in, unseen, a couple of times, just to make sure the men were behaving.’

  ‘You needn’t have worried on that score. They’re the politest bunch of soldiers I’ve come across.’

  ‘I also wanted to see you as well.’ He caught hold of her arm and stopped her walking. ‘Will you marry me, Rebecca?’

  ‘Pardon?’ She was more than surprised by his proposal. ‘I thought we’d agreed to be friends after I refused last time?’

  ‘I did tell you that I wasn’t about to give up yet. I’ve decided to ask you six times, and then I will accept your refusal, but not until then. So, what is your answer?’

  Taking a deep breath she said, ‘My answer is the same, and you already know the reasons. I can’t marry you; it wouldn�
��t work, David.’

  ‘I disagree. However, I still have four more chances. Drive carefully, Rebecca.’ Then he spun on his heel and disappeared into the shadows.

  ‘He’s not going to give up, is he?’

  Becky jumped. ‘Oh, Alice, you gave me a start. Have you rounded up the girls?’

  ‘All present and correct. And stop changing the subject. Your colonel isn’t giving up, is he?’

  ‘He won’t take no for an answer.’

  ‘Ah, he’s determined to wear you down. I do like him.’

  ‘So do I, and that’s the trouble.’

  They reached the lorries and Alice did a quick count just to make sure all the girls were there, and with the help of the soldiers they were soon in the lorries. The soldier who had joined them at the gate as they came in jumped into the cab again. His name was Rob, and he was evidently doing the same job as Alice.

  ‘Great evening.’ He cast Becky a curious look. ‘I saw you talking with the British colonel. Do you know him?’

  ‘I’ve been his driver a few times.’ Becky looked out of the window, waiting for the signal to tell her everyone was ready to go.

  As they pulled away and headed for the gate, Rob turned his attention back to Becky. ‘We’ve heard some stories about that colonel. We were told that he could have saved himself at Dunkirk, but wouldn’t leave his men. No wonder his men respect him so much. I also heard he’s up for a medal; you know anything about that?’

  ‘No.’ Becky shook her head. At least she could answer that honestly.

  Rob jumped out at the gates. ‘You gals are welcome here any time. Great of you to come.’

  Alice waved as they swept out of the camp. ‘Phew, what a night.’

  ‘You can say that again,’ Becky laughed. ‘I’ll bet some of the girls will be coming here again.’

  ‘Bound to. It’s good to see the different nationalities mixing like this.’

  ‘Yes, it was a good idea.’ Becky fell silent, concentrating on her driving; she had a lot to think about.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  ‘Sorry, sir,’ Becky gasped as she slammed her foot on the brakes, making the car come to a shuddering halt. ‘They just stepped off the pavement without looking. Are you all right?’ She turned round, anxious to check that her passenger was unharmed.

  Major General Villiers gave a wry smile as he gathered up his scattered papers. ‘It wasn’t your fault. They drive on the other side of the road in America.’

  ‘Of course. That’s why they were looking the wrong way.’

  There was a tap on the window, and she opened it. Two faces peered in. ‘Hey honey, you all right? We ain’t got used to the traffic here yet.’

  ‘We’re fine, thank you, but you must be more careful. I nearly ran into you.’

  One of the soldiers was nudging his friend. ‘High rank in the back, Ed.’

  The one called Ed leant further into the car to get a good look at the major general, and then he grinned. ‘Sorry, sir.’

  ‘Apology accepted. Now, kindly step away from the car; you are making us late for an appointment.’

  ‘OK.’ Ed’s head disappeared smartly and the two soldiers stood to attention as Becky drove away, still with wide grins on their faces. They had gathered quite a crowd and she could hear them laughing.

  She continued with caution, not trusting the new arrivals to stay on the pavements. ‘Good Lord,’ she murmured, ‘they’re everywhere.’

  ‘And intent on enjoying themselves,’ the officer remarked. ‘Nice driving, by the way. You have excellent reflexes.’

  ‘Thank you, sir.’ The major general was asking for her quite often now, and she was more at ease with him, but it was quite something to be given a compliment by him.

  ‘When we reach the War Office we are to collect Admiral Jamison. You will take us both to the Houses of Parliament for a meeting with the Prime Minister.’

  ‘Yes, sir.’

  They were only five minutes late but Becky saw the Admiral glancing irritably at his watch. She jumped out and marched up to him. ‘I apologise for keeping you waiting, Admiral, but we had an incident on the way and it delayed us. Major General Villiers is waiting for you in the car.’

  ‘What was the incident?’ he asked, striding ahead of her.

  She had to move sharply to reach the car before him so she could open the door. ‘Two Americans stepped off the kerb without looking, sir. I nearly hit them.’

  His only reply sounded like a grunt, and she wasted no time in getting under way again. The Admiral didn’t seem too happy.

  Normally she blocked out any conversation going on in the back of the car, but something about shipping caught her attention.

  ‘The losses for March have been the most we’ve sustained so far. We’re losing ships at an alarming rate.’

  Becky went cold. Bob was out there somewhere.

  ‘Come on, mate!’

  Bob was so cold he couldn’t feel the hands reaching out to haul him into the lifeboat. He sprawled in the bottom of the small boat and managed to gasp, ‘Thanks.’

  ‘Sit up,’ someone ordered. ‘And start moving. You’ve got to get the blood circulating.’

  ‘Sod off!’ He just wanted to be left alone and go to sleep.

  ‘You sleep now and you’re a dead man, and I’m not gonna let you do that. So move yourself, and flap your arms around. I’ll rub your legs to get the life back in them for you.’

  Bob was dragged to a sitting position and someone was pummelling him until he hurt. He wasn’t sure it was a good idea to get the feeling back in his body. When the second torpedo had struck he’d been thrown across the deck, crashing with force against something. When he’d regained consciousness the ship was going down fast and he’d just had to jump into the sea and swim away from the stricken ship. The rubbing and pulling carried on, and he managed to open one eye to peer at his tormentor. When he saw it was his friend he could have cried with relief. ‘Thank God you made it, Reg. I was looking for you when the second hit came.’

  ‘And nearly got yourself killed. Now, come on, mate, make an effort to move. That water’s still bloody cold.’

  It took a tremendous effort, but Bob began to move his legs and flap his arms, groaning all the time.

  ‘Are you injured?’ Reg was trying to pull his clothes away so he could inspect him. ‘You’ve got some vicious marks across your body.’

  ‘They’re only bruises.’ He clasped Reg’s arm. ‘You all right?’

  His friend nodded, then spun round when a cry for help was heard. There were eight already in the boat, and each one was now anxiously searching the sea.

  ‘Over there,’ Bob gasped. ‘I think there’s someone in that direction.’

  Men grabbed at the oars and moved as fast as they could in the direction of the faint cries.

  They found two men in the water, but one was dead, and the other not far off. They pulled him into the boat and began to try and warm him up.

  ‘There’s another lifeboat over there!’ someone called.

  When they reached it there were twelve men in it; some were all right, but a couple were in a bad way. They lashed the two boats together, and then set about searching for any other survivors. They found no one else alive.

  ‘Oh, look at that.’ It was the petty officer who spoke, his gaze fixed on the burning ship. ‘She’s going down.’

  They all watched with sadness as the bow of the ship rose out of the water, shuddered, and then slipped beneath the waves. There was an eerie silence after that and no one spoke, still unable to take their eyes off the empty spot where their ship had once been.

  Bob finally tore his gaze away and looked around, but all there was to be seen was miles and miles of empty sea. They had been on their way to meet up with a convoy coming from America when the U-boat had attacked. Like everyone else in the boat he continued to scan the sea in the hope of finding survivors, but there was nothing moving, or cries for help.

  ‘Dear Go
d, Bob, is this all that’s left?’ Reg’s voice was thick with emotion.

  ‘Looks like it.’

  Unable to admit that everyone else was lost, they continued to search the sea but didn’t find anyone alive. Exhausted, they eventually gave up. The men in the two boats were all that was left of the crew.

  A petty officer was the highest-ranking sailor amongst the survivors, and although in a bad way, he took charge. ‘We don’t know how long it will be before we’re found, so we’ve got to do everything we can to stay alive. Try and rest during the night because we’ll have more chance of being seen in daylight. I’ll keep watch for the first part of the night, and then in the morning I want to see you all exercising. Make it a regular routine and no slacking, no matter how tired you are.’

  Bob and Reg took charge of the exercise periods the next day, encouraging and even swearing at the men who didn’t want to move. Every movement was agony for Bob, and he knew he’d been hurt more than he’d first realised, but that didn’t stop him from joining Reg in the effort to keep the other men alive.

  ‘You all right, mate?’ Reg asked, after one session.

  ‘I bloody well hurt all over, but I don’t think anything’s broken, just badly bruised.’ Bob sincerely hoped that was true, but he really wasn’t sure. ‘I’m all right, and like everyone else, must keep moving.’

  ‘Well, you let me know if the pain gets worse.’ Reg studied his friend with concern.

  ‘I will, don’t you worry about me. I’ll take a little rest now. Wake me up if I sleep too long.’

  One day merged into another until Bob had to fight not to drift into indifference. As the men became weaker the exercise periods dwindled, and the few supplies they had were almost gone. One man had already died and the petty officer was in a very bad way. If they were not rescued soon many more wouldn’t make it.

  ‘How long have we been in this bloody boat?’ Reg asked, unable to raise his voice above a croak.

  ‘A week – two weeks? I’ve lost track.’ Suddenly fury raced through Bob. ‘Where’s that damned convoy? It should have reached us by now!’