The Uncertain Years

by Beryl Matthews

  ‘We’re just a tiny dot on the ocean, and they might have sailed past us during the night.’

  ‘That’s not good enough, Reg.’ The anger running through him had sparked some life back into Bob. ‘They must know we’ve gone down. I’m not going to die out here! I’m not!’ He shook his fist at the empty ocean. ‘Come on, you buggers. We’re here! Use your eyes.’

  Bob’s defiant shouting roused the others from their stupor, and those still able to joined him in his fury. They were going to fight to the last breath.

  ‘Corporal Adams, there’s a phone call for you in the Commander’s office.’

  ‘A phone call?’ Becky wiped her hands on a rag.

  ‘That’s right. It’s your brother, so don’t keep him waiting.’

  She went cold with dread right down to her toes and took off, scattering tools in her haste. Something bad must have happened. They never received phone calls, unless …

  The phone was held out to her as she burst through the door. ‘What’s happened, Will?’ She was gasping from her mad dash.

  ‘I’ve got some bad news. Bob’s ship has been sunk … and they haven’t found any survivors yet.’

  She gripped the edge of the desk to steady herself. The news came like a physical blow. ‘Oh, not Bob.’

  ‘I’m afraid so, Becky. I’ll let you know the moment I hear anything, but I thought you ought to know what’s happened.’

  ‘Oh, Will, this is terrible. Bob’s parents will be devastated. Have you seen them?’

  ‘Yes, and they’re with Mum and Dad, so they will help them through this. All we can do is hope and pray that he’s still alive. Sorry to phone with such terrible news.’

  She had never heard her brother this upset, and she tried to stem her own tears. Dear, gentle Bob. ‘We mustn’t give up hope. We thought David had died, but he turned up.’

  ‘That was on dry land, Becky. The sea is a very hostile place, and the last message received from them was over a week ago.’

  ‘Why didn’t you let me know sooner?’

  ‘I was hoping he would be found before I had to make this phone call. Sorry. I’ll phone again when there’s some news.’

  ‘I understand, and thank you for letting me know now.’ That was all she had time to say before he put the phone down.

  Standing motionless with the phone still in her hand, Becky fought an inner battle to retain her composure, when all she wanted to do was give in to her grief. All around her people were coping with the loss of family and friends, but they carried on with what had to be done, and that’s what she must do. Bob would expect it of her.

  She replaced the phone and took a deep breath. It hurt so much.

  Bob had always been her favourite. He was the one who had included her in whatever the boys were doing. Sometimes, Will and Jim would try to sneak off without her, but Bob wouldn’t let them. They gave up trying to dodge her in the end, and by the time she was nine they had become a permanent foursome. She’d always known that eventually the boys would find girlfriends and they’d split up, but she would have been happy to see them settled with families of their own. She bowed her head in sorrow. To lose any of them like this was too cruel.

  Someone touched her arm and she started out of her reverie.

  ‘Sit down for a moment,’ one of the girls from the office said kindly. ‘I’ll get you a cup of tea.’

  Becky straightened up. ‘Thank you, but I must get back to the car I’m working on. It’s needed for an officer in an hour.’

  ‘Someone else will finish it. You’ve obviously had some bad news. You’re as white as a sheet.’

  ‘I’m all right, really.’ She gave the girl a tight smile, and hurried out of the office, glad to breathe in the fresh air.

  For the rest of the day she was kept busy and that was a blessing. Numbness had settled over her, but not for a moment did she allow it to interfere with her work. If she stopped and allowed herself to think, her fear for Bob would overwhelm her.

  Alice was on leave, so Becky spent the evening on her own, writing letters to Bob’s parents and her own. When a couple of the girls tried to get her to join them in the NAAFI she refused. She had got through the day quite well, but the thought of being with others and trying to make polite conversation was asking too much at the moment. Perhaps she would feel more sociable tomorrow when, hopefully, the pain and shock wouldn’t be quite so severe. And there might be news. As with David, the not knowing was agony.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Another week passed without news of Bob, but Becky carried on, never saying a word to anyone about it. Alice was due back from leave soon, and it would be a comfort to have her friend around.

  She was giving the car a vigorous polish prior to collecting an officer, when she looked up and saw Major Brent coming towards her with a civilian. It took her a moment to realise who it was, but she didn’t forget to salute the major first, even though she was filled with dread.

  ‘I met your father at the gate.’ Major Brent shook hands with Bill Adams. ‘It’s a pleasure to have met you, Mr Adams. Your daughter will escort you back to the gate. Don’t stay too long.’

  ‘I won’t, and thank you, Major.’

  As the officer left them Becky caught hold of her father’s hand. ‘There must be news for you to have come here, Dad.’

  ‘I came as soon as we heard. Bob’s safe, darling. We haven’t any details, but we have been told he’s been picked up by an American merchant ship.’

  ‘Thank God! That’s wonderful news. Is he all right?’

  ‘We don’t know that, Becky; those poor devils have been in open boats for two weeks, but Will’s on the story, so he’ll get all the details.’

  ‘What an ordeal that must have been.’ Becky drew in a shuddering breath of relief. ‘But he’s alive, and that’s the main thing.’

  ‘Yes, that’s very good news, and soon as we know where he’s being taken, we’ll let you know. Now, you’d better see me off the camp. The major very kindly allowed me to see you, but I don’t think I should really be here.’

  ‘You all right, Reg?’ Bob leant on the bunk to see his friend.

  ‘Just about.’ He reached out with a shaking hand to take the glass Bob handed him and drank thirstily. ‘That was a close call. Who picked us up?’

  ‘An American merchant ship on her way back to New York. Only twenty of us got to the lifeboats, and one died, as you know. Now the petty officer’s in a very bad way.’ Bob bowed his head, lines of distress etched on his face. ‘Everyone else – gone …’

  ‘You shouldn’t be up yet, sailor.’ The ship’s medic steadied Bob as he swayed. ‘You’re too weak.’

  ‘Is it right we’re heading for New York?’ Reg asked, hoisting himself up to a sitting position.

  ‘Yes, we’ll dock tomorrow evening. Messages have been sent and your folks will all have been told you’re safe. Ambulances will be waiting to take you to hospital as soon as we arrive.’

  ‘Thanks, mate.’ Reg flopped back, exhausted. ‘How long have we been on board?’

  ‘We spotted you three days ago, and to be honest we thought you were all dead.’ The medic’s mouth turned up at the corners. ‘Until we heard an English voice call, “Where the bloody hell have you been?”’

  ‘Come on, chum.’ Firm hands gripped Bob as he began to shake. ‘We’d sure like to get you all there alive.’

  ‘What are the chances of that?’

  ‘Hard to say at this point, but we’ll do our best. Now, back to bed with you, and don’t get up again. We don’t know if you’ve sustained any internal injuries, so I’d like you to stay as still as possible until the doctors get a good look at you.’

  Bob allowed himself to be led back to his bunk, and sighed with relief when he was lifted in. ‘God, but I feel terrible.’

  ‘That isn’t surprising; you’ve had a hell of a time. You all have injuries – some more severe than others – and your immediate need is for food, drink and rest.’ The me
dic smiled. ‘Just wait until you get to the hospital. The nurses are going to make a great fuss of you.’

  ‘Are they pretty?’ the man in the next bunk croaked.

  ‘Just like Betty Grable.’

  ‘What luck!’ Reg called. ‘And not one of us with as much strength as a newborn baby.’

  A ripple of laughter went around the sick bay, and it was a welcome sound from a group of men who had been so close to death.

  Bob closed his eyes, a slight smile on his face, and immediately fell asleep.

  It was the noise that woke him; the sick bay was alive with activity as men were being lifted out of bunks and put on stretchers.

  Doctors were quickly checking each of the survivors before allowing them to be moved, giving quiet orders as they worked.

  ‘These two first. Get them to the hospital fast. Stay put, sailor. No, you can’t walk …’

  He listened to this. They must have docked, but he’d been completely unaware of time passing.

  ‘I tell you I’m walking off this ship!’ Reg complained. ‘I am quite all right.’

  ‘OK, let’s see you stand up.’

  There was much puffing and grunting, then an American voice saying, ‘I’ve got you, chum.’

  ‘Do as you’re told, Reg,’ Bob called, when he saw how shaky his friend was.

  ‘I ain’t got no choice, mate,’ he answered. ‘My legs won’t hold me.’

  A doctor reached Bob then and began to examine him. ‘Hmm, we’ll have to see if anything’s broken. Your body’s taken a pounding. How did you come by these injuries?’

  Bob looked at the man in amazement. ‘Some silly devil blew up our ship.’

  ‘I know that, sailor.’ The doctor gave a wry smile. ‘What I meant was did something hit you?’

  ‘Ah, I see. Well, I got thrown across the deck when the second torpedo hit, and I crashed into something. Don’t remember much after that until I was in the lifeboat.’

  ‘This one next,’ the doctor ordered, ‘and be careful with him.’

  ‘He’s not hurt bad, is he, Doc?’ Reg’s worried face appeared next to Bob as he was being carried out. ‘He’s been the life and soul of the party in the lifeboat.’

  ‘I’m all right.’ Bob gave his friend a reassuring smile. ‘I’d have known if I’d been badly hurt. They’re just being careful. See you at the hospital.’

  ‘Hey, mate.’ Reg called over an orderly. ‘Are we all going to the same place?’

  ‘Yeah, you’ll all be together.’

  ‘That’s all right then. We sort of got used to each other’s company,’ Reg quipped.

  The scene on the dockside was unbelievable. Although it was dusk, the place was ablaze with lights, and crowded with people. Encouragement was shouted to each of the survivors as they were carried to the waiting ambulances. After the strict blackout at home it was fascinating.

  Bob was loaded into an ambulance with the petty officer. A doctor was already dealing with him, and a nurse sat with Bob, wiping his brow with something sweet smelling. He hadn’t realised he was sweating. ‘Oh, that feels good,’ he murmured, and then closed his eyes when the sirens began to scream. The vehicle was going at breakneck speed and he wished they would slow down a bit. The nurse said something he couldn’t quite hear, her voice seemed to be coming from a great distance, but he could feel her warm hand in his, and he held on tight. He felt bad.

  He thought she called the doctor, and then a man was bending over him. ‘The other one’s gone. We got to him too late, but after all these poor devils have gone through, we’ve got to save this one.’

  What’s he talking about? Bob thought. I’m all right, and I don’t hurt any more. I’m just tired – so very tired. But they wouldn’t let him sleep. Why wouldn’t they let him sleep? Everything was such a rush. They were wheeling him along … running … why were they running?

  Gradually Bob became aware of being in a comfortable bed that wasn’t moving around, clean sheets and a disinfectant smell …

  ‘Bob! Wake up, mate. Please wake up.’

  ‘Hmm?’ A straw was put in his mouth and he sucked at it. Orange juice? It was lovely.

  ‘My goodness, you did enjoy that,’ said a female voice. ‘Open your eyes now, Bob, your friend wants to talk to you.’

  It was such an effort, and as consciousness returned so did the pain, and he gasped.

  ‘We’ve given you something for the pain and it will ease soon,’ the voice told him.

  Fully conscious now, he opened his eyes and looked straight at Reg, who was leaning over him.

  ‘Thank God! We thought you were going to die, like the petty officer.’

  ‘What the hell happened? I was all right.’ The doctor arrived then. ‘What happened to me, Doc?’

  ‘When you were thrown across the deck two ribs were cracked, and you had received a severe blow across your abdomen. The merchant ship that picked you up sailed into a storm and you were all tossed about. A weakened blood vessel began to leak, but we got to you just in time. If it had burst completely you would have been dead in minutes. You’ll make a full recovery now.’

  He listened in disbelief. ‘Why didn’t I realise I’d been hurt that bad?’

  ‘Because you had been in cold water and then in an open boat. It had numbed you, and it was only once you were warm the trouble began to be felt.’ The man smiled and patted his shoulder. ‘You rest now. We’ve repaired the damage and you’ll be as good as new in a few days.’

  ‘Thanks. Did the petty officer die in the ambulance?’

  ‘I’m sorry to say he did.’

  ‘Oh, hell, he was a brave man.’

  ‘You all are.’ The doctor took hold of Reg’s arm. ‘And it’s time you were back in bed. Your friend’s going to be fine, and you’re right next to him, so you can keep an eye on him.’

  Reg nodded, smiled with relief at Bob, then climbed into the next bed, propping himself up on his arm so he could still talk to his friend. ‘When you feel better we’ll all go out on the town,’ he said. ‘They don’t know the meaning of the word blackout here, and it’s a real pretty sight.’

  ‘You’re on. Do you think we can persuade some of the nurses to come with us?’

  ‘Of course we can. We’re gonna need looking after, aren’t we? Go to sleep now, Bob, we’ve all got to get our strength back.’

  For a week they were content to rest, eat good food, and enjoy the fuss being made of them. But that was enough, and the survivors, to a man, began to ask the question uppermost in their minds.

  ‘How are we going to get back home?’ Bob was the first one to bring up the question. ‘We’re grateful for the care you’ve given us, Doc, but we need to get back now.’

  ‘Sure you do, but leave it another couple of days and someone will be coming to see you soon.’ The doctor looked at the men gathered around him. ‘It won’t hurt you to have a couple more days of rest.’

  ‘That’s all very well, Doc,’ Reg told him, ‘but I want to get my own back on that bloody U-boat. And we’re not going to get a chance to do that sitting here.’

  ‘We’re all that’s left of our crew. All our mates went down with her,’ Harry, one of the other men explained. ‘Those devils under the sea aren’t going to get away with it. That ship had been our home since the start of the war, and the crew were our mates. This is very personal now.’

  The doctor was thoughtful for a moment, then said, ‘You know when France fell the opinion of some here was that Britain couldn’t survive on her own, but after meeting all of you I can see why she’s held out against all the odds.’

  Reg shrugged. ‘Ah, we heard that tale, but we’re stubborn enough not to believe it. Tell me, Doc, what would you have done if you’d been faced with the same situation?’

  ‘Fought to my last breath to stop being invaded.’

  ‘Exactly! There really isn’t any choice, is there?’

  ‘None at all.’ The doctor began to examine Bob. ‘You guys nearly died out there, but
you’ve all made a good recovery, and I can see you’re wanting to give up this idle life now you’ve recovered from your ordeal.’

  ‘I’m not sure we’ll ever completely recover,’ Bob told him seriously. ‘We’ll carry the memory of those who died for the rest of our lives.’

  ‘That hurt I can’t heal, I’m afraid.’ Then he hurried off to answer an emergency call.

  ‘Who’s this?’ Reg nudged Bob. ‘He’s British army.’

  Bob blinked, unable to believe his eyes. Then he swung his legs out of bed and stood upright, grinning in delight. ‘Will, what on earth are you doing here?’

  The friends greeted each other with great pleasure. ‘Am I glad to see you! We thought we’d lost you. Becky sends her love.’

  ‘How’s my mum and dad?’

  ‘Fine since they were told you’re all right.’

  ‘Well, aren’t you going to introduce us?’ Reg interrupted.

  ‘Sorry, this is my friend Will I’ve told you so much about.’

  Reg beamed. ‘You’re the war correspondent. Great to meet you, Will.’

  Bob introduced the men who had gathered around and waited while they shook hands, then chairs were dragged from everywhere so they could all sit down together. Will was known to many of the men through his reports and newsreels, and they were eager to talk to him.

  ‘You guys having a party?’ one of the nurses asked.

  ‘We would if you could rustle us up some tea,’ Reg teased.

  ‘You English and your tea. I’ll see what I can do, but keep the noise down.’

  ‘Yes, Nurse,’ they all said in mock obedience, and she hurried away, laughing.

  ‘It’s wonderful to see you, Will, but what brings you here?’ Bob couldn’t get over his surprise.

  ‘I’m here to do a story on how the ordinary Americans feel about going to war – a war they didn’t want or ask for.’ Will studied the faces around him. ‘Then I want your story, if you don’t mind talking about it?’