It All Started With a Lima Bean

by Kimi Flores

  “I have no idea. Although that pendulum is the same, I’m not sure how much has changed.”

  “How about–” He moved his index finger from side to side. “-that way.” He pointed left before grabbing her hand again and pulling her in that direction.

  After looking through all of the indoor as well as the outdoor exhibits, they decided to head to the cafe for a drink, then down and around the bottom side of the building. Abby was so happy that the observatory sold her favorite soft drink, and sipped from it as they walked down the curved pathway.

  After finding and sitting on a small wall, Caleb started to speak. “Abby, I wanted to talk to you about something, but I don’t want to come off too strong.” She looked at him wondering what on earth he was going to say to her.

  “I genuinely like you. Well more than that. I’m falling pretty hard for you, but I can’t afford to play any games. I have Madison to consider. It’s difficult for me to be so vulnerable with you because I haven’t opened my heart to anyone or even dated once since Rene died. I need you to understand that I’m not looking for someone just to have fun with. Of course, I want to enjoy our time together, but you have to know that I will only take this chance for the promise of a serious relationship that would hopefully lead to marriage someday.” He paused, and she wasn’t sure if she was supposed to say something yet until he spoke again. “If you are only interested in being friends, I will respect that, but I wanted you to know that ultimately I would love to be more than friends.” He must have wanted to make sure she got his point because he added, “If we were to get involved, I’d be looking toward the future. I long for a life partner, not just someone to date.”

  Abby stared at him with wide eyes, completely stunned. She’d already admitted to herself and Leah that she was falling in love with him, but still didn’t know where to go with those feelings. This was also difficult for her as well because she hadn’t opened herself up to anyone since she and Peter broke up. There were dates here and there, but never more than once with the same guy. Her heart had been too damaged. Could she open herself up entirely to this man? He seemed too good to be real. Was he really saying that not only does he have strong feelings for her, but was also looking for a wife?

  “Wow.” That was all she could muster up with a shocked look in her eyes.

  Caleb let out a nervous snicker and said, “I know it’s a lot, but like I said, I just can’t play any games. Please take some time before letting me know what your thoughts are.” He held her hand, rubbing his thumb on the top of hers.

  He looked so vulnerable in that moment that she felt as though she had to explain her reaction. “I’m sorry that was my first response,” she managed to say with a shy smile, “but you caught me off guard. I’ve also fallen for you, and love the thought of being more than friends. I wouldn’t want to do casual either, but Caleb, I don’t know if I can give you what you are looking for. There is so much hurt in my past that I wouldn’t want you to have to deal with, and I honestly don’t know that I’m good enough for you.” She looked down at their connected hands.

  “What? Are you kidding me?” He moved his legs over the wall so that he was now straddling it, and scooted closer to her so he could reach her other hand. “Where did that come from? Why would you think you aren’t good enough for me? You are an amazing woman, and I am in awe every time I’m around you. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I practically trip on my words whenever you are near because I feel like I’m a nervous high school nerd talking to the head cheerleader.”

  “Now who is kidding who? You are very smooth Mr. Hunter.” She said as she blushed. This made him smile and chuckle.

  “Leah told me you like to switch subjects when uncomfortable conversations arise, but thank you for the compliment. I would still like to know why you think you aren’t good enough.” He pulled her hand to his lips and kissed her delicate skin. How was she expected to concentrate on an answer when he did that?

  “Oh Caleb, I have some serious yuck in my past, and I’m afraid after I share it with you, you’ll never want to see me again, which means I won’t see Madison anymore either, and that will truly destroy me. I have fallen head over heels in love with her, too.”

  “Too?” He asked. Realizing what she said, Abby tried not to make eye contact right away. “Why don’t you try me? Start at the beginning.” Now he pulled his legs up until they crossed a bit on top of the wall. He was getting comfortable for her story, and she imagined the other position might be painful for a man.

  Seeing that she was going to have to break down and tell him at some point, she gathered up her courage and began to share her awful story. “Peter and I dated for two years in high school. All of our friends were having sex already, and we were the last virgins we knew, so we made the decision to take our physical relationship to the next step. We’d only had sex a couple of times when I found out I was pregnant.” She looked up at him to check his expression. She didn’t see judgment so far. He was just listening. She took a deep breath and continued. “I was shocked because we had taken precautions, and we had only done it two times. I’ll never forget the day I found out. I’d taken the test at home on a Friday after school. We were supposed to attend a school dance that night, but instead, I was in the garage of my mother’s house telling my seventeen-year-old boyfriend that we were going to be parents. Peter’s reaction was something I hadn’t expected. It was as if he wasn’t totally surprised, but he also wasn’t happy about it. It was as though his fears had come to reality. He told me we would figure something out together, and we had a little time to make decisions. He left that night with me thinking I had the best boyfriend in the world, and that he would stand by me no matter what. I tried calling him all weekend, and he wouldn’t come to the phone. I only called a handful of times because Tiffany kept answering, and she said he didn’t have time for me or my childish games. I didn’t know what she was talking about, but she’d always been rude and mean to me, so I tried not to read into what she’d said.”

  This was so hard for her to share. She felt as if she were reliving the nightmare all over again. Taking a calming breath, she continued. “When I showed up for school on Monday, I looked everywhere for Peter, and found him in front of my locker with the one girl he knew I was downright jealous of. The only girl that we ever fought about and they were full-on making out. I couldn’t believe what was happening. I was beside myself, and knew at that moment that I was all alone.” The pain in her chest started to constrict. This was more difficult to talk about than she thought it was going to be.

  “That day after school, I was walking to my car trying to formulate a plan when Peter ran up behind me, caging me in his arms with my back to my driver’s door. He told me that we needed to be clear. He knew the baby wasn’t his, and he’d heard that I’d been screwing around on him. I swore I hadn’t because I would never do that, but he insisted that a reliable source told him that I’d be caught having sex with someone else.” She was trying to catch her breath in-between her hysterics. “He poked my stomach, and said he didn’t know who the father of my bastard child was, but he knew it wasn’t him. Then he turned and walked away. Just like that. No further discussion.” She had become so distraught telling her story that she hadn’t realized it, but Caleb had her hands in his while he rubbed circles on top.

  “I was so ashamed. I couldn’t tell my mom. I was her only child, and she was so proud of me. So, as much as it pained me, I couldn’t see another way out. I made an appointment to get an abortion.” She was blubbering; but still had to explain the most painful part of her story. “The night before my appointment, I threatened God and told Him that if He didn’t take the baby, I was going to send it back to Him.”

  She looked down again at their now intertwined fingers, unable to make eye contact with him while she told her shameful story. “I had a miscarriage in the middle of the night. My mom had to rush me to the emergency room, and that’s how she found out I was pregnant.” She
pulled her hands away from him, covering her face as she sobbed. She hoped she wasn’t calling attention to herself. Feeling Caleb’s loving arms wrap around her, and no longer caring that they were in public with a ton of people around them, she put her face onto his chest, and shook with such strong emotion as her tears flowed. She hadn’t cried like that since it all happened. The wound was still open, and had festered for so long, she was sure that it was beyond ever healing.

  After a few minutes of her drenching his shirt with tears, mascara and god only knows what else, she looked up at him again. “I’m so sorry, but as you can clearly see, I’m a mess and couldn’t be any good for you or Madison.”

  He cradled her face with his hands, and looked straight into her distraught eyes as he replied, “No, I can’t see that. I see a beautiful woman who has lived with pain for so long that she can’t see past it to know that there is hope for a better future. Abby, you have to know that you can’t live with this forever. You have so much to offer and I would be the most blessed man to call you mine.”

  She shuffled back out of his hold in shock at his kind words. “What? Did you hear what I told you? I threatened God, and He took my baby before I could abort it.” Did he miss that part of her horrible story?

  “Have you asked for forgiveness?” Was he serious?

  “What do you mean? From who?”

  “Well, from God. You seem to feel guilty about your threat to Him. Have you asked Him to forgive you?”

  “No.” What was he talking about?

  “That’s why you feel so guilty. You can’t have hope in the future if there is no peace in your past.” He was serious.

  “I can’t. It’s too awful.”

  “I haven’t told you my full story yet Abby.” He looked down at his folded hands. “What I’m about to share is not a pretty story, but I’ve learned how to let go and move forward. As much as I’d like to, I can’t change my past.” He glanced into her waiting eyes. “I was a horrific prick growing up. I had a sense of entitlement that was ridiculous. My cousins Stefen, Bri, and I were inseparable. Other than financially, we didn’t have the support of our families. We grew up with nannies, and got away with whatever we wanted. Stefen is only a year younger than I am, and Bri is three. As I said before, we were all being groomed to work at my dad and uncle’s law firm, and we attended the best law school possible that happened to be our parents’ alma mater.” He stopped for a moment, and took a deep breath. “Stefen and I were not only cousins and best friends, but frat brothers, as well. Our fathers ensured we were part of their fraternity without us even having to pledge because of their legacy. My dear cousin and I had a pact.” He blew out another puff of air. “We had agreed to sleep with as many girls with as little effort as possible while in college. We would point out girls that neither of us thought the other had a chance with. We’d built quite a reputation within the fraternity. I’d just come from a girl’s bed when Stefen pointed to Rene. He told me there was no way I could get her to sleep with me. I know it sounds so barbaric; it’s just a guy thing, a stupid guy thing. Anyway, he was right. I couldn’t win with her, at least not what I wanted to win. Well, she heard about the bet because it went around campus that there was a girl I couldn’t ‘seal the deal’ with. Instead of pushing me away, she made it her goal to change me. It worked. There was something about her that I couldn’t resist. I didn’t understand how or why she was so different from other girls, but she made me wait until I married her.”

  “I would have never guessed this about you Caleb. You are nothing like that.”

  “I know. She made a difference, and changed me.”

  “What about Stefen and Bri?”

  “Well Stefen is a whole other story. I have hope for him, but he is still a mess. He is the only one that ended up working for our fathers’ firm. Bri just kind of travels around like a lost soul; I’m not sure what is going on with her. She comes in and out of our lives now, and can’t maintain a relationship for anything. I worry a lot about them.”

  “So neither has found their Rene yet?”

  “No. Stefen thought he had, but I think he just got caught up in my and Rene’s ‘happy bubble’.”

  “That’s too bad.”

  “So, my point to this is that I am no saint. I just know that there is a better way now. Please don’t ever say you’re not good enough. I see differently. This is so awkward talking about Rene in order to convince you to give me a chance, but she is why I am who I am.”

  “Please don’t ever feel uncomfortable talking about her. I don’t. I feel horrible for the pain you’ve suffered because of her death, but now I’m not only thankful to her for bringing Madison into the world, but I’m also thankful for her impact on your life.”

  “So what do you say? Do you want to try this? I’ll be honest though. I don’t know what I’m doing here, and can’t remember having a legitimate girlfriend before Rene.”

  “Well, we are both in the same boat then because the only dates I’ve been on since Peter were horrible, and I decided before they even picked me up that they had no chance. I may as well have not gone out with them.”

  “Okay good. It will all be new for us both. We can figure it out as we go.”

  “I have a request if you don’t mind. I hope it doesn’t sound rude.”

  “What is it?”

  “Can we can keep it quiet, at least until we figure out what we are doing? I know you are talking all or nothing, but I really need to take baby steps here. As much as I like you, this is really scary, and I’d hate for everyone to know my business if things didn’t work out.”

  “No problem. I was going to suggest that we don’t tell Madison yet. She adores you, and I don’t want her to get her hopes up any more than she already has.”

  “Agreed.” She smiled and held her hand out for him to shake. He put her hand down, scooted even closer to her, and placed both of his palms on the sides of her face again. “You are so beautiful Abby. I’ve dreamed of kissing you so many times.”

  He moved in closer as her eyes closed. Their lips met for their fourth kiss. Yes, she was counting every time his mouth touched hers. This kiss confirmed what she already knew to be true. There wasn’t anything she wouldn’t do for this man. She felt herself starting to get carried away, making sounds that encouraged him to keep going when she heard a clicking noise.

  She pulled away from Caleb to find the photographer standing a few feet away.

  “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt. That kiss was one of the most beautiful I’ve ever seen, and I couldn’t resist. I’ll be happy to either delete the photos, or give you copies, whatever you like. I’m legitimate, I promise.” She handed Caleb her business card.

  It was a little weird having someone take pictures of their private moment, but now she was curious. She wanted to see the pictures. She looked at Caleb as he asked her, “What do you think?”

  “I’d like to see.” She would love to have proof of him kissing her.

  “Here.” The photographer handed her very expensive camera to them. She must be legitimate to hand such an expensive camera over to strangers. She showed them how to scan through the pictures. There were at least fifteen photos less than a second apart, and they were very intimate and beautiful.

  “I definitely want copies of these. Here,” Caleb handed his business card over to the photographer they now knew as Dawn.

  “I’ll get them over to you within a week. Can I take a few more of you just holding each other?”

  “What does my face look like?” Abby asked Caleb.

  “Beautiful.”

  “I mean, do I have mascara all over or anything?”

  “No, you look great.”

  “I can fix anything like that when I edit anyway, so don’t worry. Okay get closer. Put your arm around her. Perfect.” She took several pictures of them with Los Angeles as their backdrop before shaking their hands and leaving them alone once again.

  “That was unexpected.”
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  “I think this whole trip has been unexpected.”

  “I’d have to agree with that.” Caleb’s phone rang.

  She watched his blissful expression change to concern as he listened to the person on the other end. Turning slightly to give him privacy, she wondered what was wrong. After a few moments, she felt a tap on her shoulder. Caleb explained that Madison was sick, and that unfortunately, they would have to cut their trip short to get back to her. Abby’s only concern was for the poor little girl with a fever waiting at home for her daddy. She jumped to her feet, and assured him it was fine, and truth be told, she was just as worried and anxious to get back. This time she had the courage to take his hand, and they headed back to the car side by side.

  Abby was sad that her trip with Caleb had been cut short. At the same time, she was also filled with awe after watching him in action when he’d received a call from Grace while they’d been at the observatory. Grace told him that Madison was sick. Complaining of a stomachache the day before, she then struck a fever. They decided to head home without delay.

  “Leah, he is amazing. I can’t believe he asked me to start dating him.” Abby was still on cloud nine.

  “How can you be surprised? He’s been gaga over you since you met, and even though you denied it–” her best friend gave her the stink eye, “–I knew you’ve had the hots for him since then, too.”

  “Yeah, well maybe I did, but I didn’t realize he would ever give me the time of day. He’s so handsome, successful, and the best father. He’s so good to Madison.” Abby could hear a high-pitched girly girl voice coming out of her mouth as she talked about this man she was already so in love with.

  “I’m sure he wouldn’t mind being called your daddy either.” Leah cracked herself up as she popped her friend on the behind.