Mom's Perfect Boyfriend
Page 4
Crystal
what’s that again?
Lisa
they’ll pay part of your salary if you were laid off through no fault of your own
Crystal
seriously?
Crystal
oh wow it says here it can be up to two thirds of your salary
Lisa
nice
Crystal
oh but you have to apply for jobs and prove it
Crystal
i’m not ready to jump into something new yet
Crystal
i think i want at least a week to recover
Lisa
well the sooner you apply the sooner they pay you
Lisa
also no one polices what kind of jobs you apply to
Crystal
wait, are you thinking what i’m thinking?
Lisa
maybe…
Crystal
Dear Ringmaster, I’d like to be considered for your rodeo clown position. I have excellent references. Yours Truly, Crystal Hemmingway
Lisa
LOL
Crystal
but isn’t that cheating?
Lisa
your employer is legally required to pay for unemployment
Lisa
the money is there already
Crystal
well in that case…
Crystal
this is actually kind of exciting
Crystal
there must be hundreds of jobs that i’m horribly unqualified for
Crystal
and i only have to apply for five a week
Crystal
i wonder how long i could ride this
Crystal
i could just focus on writing for once
Lisa
:)
Crystal
ok i’m going to go apply for this right now
Crystal
but before i go, can i ask you a favor?
Lisa
sure
Crystal
don’t tell mom about my job situation
Lisa
of course
Crystal
i don’t want her feeling sorry for me and calling all the time
Lisa
my lips are sealed :)
Crystal
thanks you’re the best
Crystal
ttys
Margot’s Journal, Saturday July 22
I had another walk with Ingrid this morning. Her husband had a stroke, and he lost motor function on the right side of his body. They think he’ll get it back with therapy, but poor Ingrid is serving as a full-time caretaker now that he’s back home. She’s having to make all the meals, do all the housework, and drive him to all his appointments. It’s no small feat – he weighs over 200 pounds and she can’t be more than 120. He has a wheelchair, but they don’t have a car set up to handle that kind of thing. Sometimes it’s really hard being alone, but I’m not sure it would be any easier to be in Ingrid’s position right now.
Mother’s still asking if I can come to the fundraiser this year. I haven’t heard back from the girls yet about their holiday plans. I think I’ll give them two more weeks, but then I’ll just go ahead and book a flight. Mother said I could spend Christmas in Minnesota, so at least I’d have somewhere to go.
I had my weekly call with Crystal today. I asked her how she was doing but she seemed distant or distracted. Work was “fine,” David was “fine,” she was “fine.” She kept giving one-word responses and I was starting to feel like I was prying, so I told her about my week. Then Grace called in the middle and I had to take it, which lasted about 20 minutes. When I called Crystal back I wasn’t sure if I should subtract that twenty minutes or add it on, and it was very confusing. But Crystal seemed to want to go at 3 pm as we’d planned, so I hung up. Almost as soon as I did, I realized that I forgot to tell her about the leftover cookies I’m mailing to her. I wanted to just call back like I used to, but I was trying to be respectful of her two-hour limit so I’ll have to send an email instead.
This once-a-week, two-hour call feels very restrictive, but I’m going to try it for a couple of weeks and see how it goes. It’s going to be awkward when people ask about her and all I can say is that she’s “fine,” but if this is what she wants, I’ll try to respect it.
I hope things slow down again soon for her at work, because she seemed so distracted today. It must be really tough working such long hours, especially since she doesn’t get free dinners like Lisa. Maybe I should add some food to her care package. I saw some new vegetarian box mixes at Whole Foods, and I bet she’d enjoy them. And maybe some chocolate, too.
Dr. Jackson had me assist with all of his procedures this week. I really prefer the cleanings to the fillings and crowns; the patients look positively miserable in that chair. The younger hygienists always seem to find a way out of it, so I keep finding myself assisting the doctor. He’s good at what he does but I wish he wouldn’t try to be such a comedian. His jokes are rather tired and I think our patients might be more relaxed if he wasn’t trying so hard.
I always get compliments on my bedside manner (best in class), so I keep telling Dr. Jackson that cleanings are where I do best. Yet each week I seem to be on more procedures, where I’m doing very menial work. If this keeps up, I might have to find another office. I’ve been doing this for years and I work well on my own; it’s frustrating to have to go back to assistant work. I’m going to do my best to pitch in for now, but I’m still going to ask for what I want.
Gratitudes:
I am grateful for my health and mobility.
I am grateful for my independence.
I am grateful for my daughters.
Boople Chat, Thurs July 27 4:42 PM
Crystal
I THINK MOM KNOWS
Lisa
?
Crystal
about the layoff
Lisa
really?
Crystal
yeah
Crystal
she sent me a care package, with cookies and stuff
Crystal
it’s not even a minor holiday, so there’s no other explanation
Crystal
oh god, do you think she knows about david, too???
Lisa
hang on
Lisa
did it contain tooth-shaped sugar cookies?
Crystal
yeah
Crystal
wait, how did you know?
Lisa
she sent me one too
Lisa
they’re leftovers from the bake sale
Crystal
what bake sale?
Lisa
it was for work, and she made like 12 dozen cookies
Crystal
why did she make so many?
Lisa
long story
Lisa
anyway, nothing to worry about
Lisa
and there’s no way she’d find out
Lisa
i haven’t told anyone
Crystal
ok thanks i feel better now
Emails, August 6
From: Crystal Hemmingway
To: Office Manager
Subject: Late rent payment
Dear Ms. Rodriguez,
I’m very sorry to hear about the late rent payment. My co-renter, David Richards, has limited internet access and sent funds to your office on July 17th. I had hoped that they would arrive by now, as he was sending them electronically. I would greatly appreciate it if you could double-check for me, as it was quite a large sum.
In the meantime, I have submitted the second half of our August rent online today. I can certainly pay the late fee, but as it is our first time in three years missing a payment, would it be possible to keep it off the record as a show of good faith?
Thank you for your help
.
Yours Truly,
Crystal Hemmingway
Apartment 2212
Email, August 14
From: Crystal Hemmingway
To: Nannies Now!
Subject: French-speaking au pair position
Bonjour!
Please accept my attached resume for your French-speaking au pair position. I am passionate about French culture, and enjoy wearing striped shirts and berets. My favorite food is French onion soup. I can speak several words in French, including “le louvre,” “croissant,” and “au revoir.” I have no experience with small children, but I once had a kitten who required daily flea baths.
I have a driver’s license and an unmarked white van ready for immediate use.
Thank you for your consideration,
Crystal Hemmingway
Email, August 25
From: Crystal Hemmingway
To: David Richards
Subject: Funds lost in transit?
Hi David,
Sorry to bother you again, but I’ve checked with the apartment office several times now, and they still haven’t received any funds from you. I’m sure it’s just a mix-up, but September rent is coming up soon, so I thought I’d check in again, since I haven’t heard from you for a couple of weeks now.
I tried calling your parents but it sounds like they’re out of town for the next couple of weeks.
Hope all is well and that you are enjoying your hike.
Best,
Crystal
Boople Chat, Thurs Aug 31, 1:19 PM
Lisa
good news
Crystal
!!!!
Lisa
my department transfer just came through
Crystal
OMG!! CONGRATS!!!
Lisa
yeah i’m pretty excited about it
Lisa
it’s a really nice gig, better than i expected
Lisa
i wish i could tell you about it but all i’m allowed to say is that it’s in R&D
Crystal
top secret, eh?
Lisa
heh nothing so glamorous
Crystal
does it have something to do with drones?
Lisa
no
Crystal
self-driving cars?
Lisa
no
Crystal
cars that transform into robots?
Lisa
LOL i wish
Lisa
anyway i’ve got a few minutes until the desk move
Lisa
how goes the novel?
Crystal
going well :)
Crystal
got 60 pages or so now
Lisa
that’s great
Lisa
you still doing a fairy tale thing?
Crystal
yeah a sort of sequel to rapunzel
Lisa
cool
Crystal
i didn’t make a lot of progress last week because i binge watched a few seasons of gilmore girls
Crystal
but since then i cut back to one episode a day
Lisa
sounds good
Lisa
did you get to the part
Crystal
NO SPOILERS
Lisa
where rory starts dating that
Crystal
SHUT UP
Lisa
hot guy?
Crystal
not funny
Lisa
you’ve seen it all before
Crystal
yeah but i forgot everything
Crystal
it’s all about the joy of rediscovery
Lisa
aww
Crystal
plus it keeps me from missing david so much
Lisa
:(
Crystal
it’s alright, i’m used to it now
Crystal
anyway tell me more about your new gig
Lisa
i can’t…at least until i get a better idea of what’s ok to share
Crystal
ah right sorry
Crystal
oh no
Lisa
what happened?
Crystal
someone wants to interview me
Lisa
who?
Crystal
a nanny agency
Lisa
but you hate kids
Crystal
exactly
Crystal
i thought i explained that in the letter
Crystal
here i’ll forward it to you
Lisa
hehe you got the unqualified part
Lisa
but i think you underestimate how desperate they are
Lisa
nanny agencies like this probably have a huge turnover
Lisa
i bet their major qualification is that the kids come back alive
Crystal
but i even put in the thing about the unmarked white van
Lisa
if you were actually a child molester you probably wouldn’t announce that you have an unmarked white van
Crystal
hmm true
Crystal
so what do i do?
Lisa
can you refuse the interview?
Crystal
i think i might get disqualified from the unemployment benefits if i do
Lisa
ok well i think they’re looking to hire almost anyone who breathes
Lisa
so your only option might be to say you’re super busy
Lisa
like give them fifteen minute windows in which you’re available
Lisa
and you might want to breathe really heavily on the phone and speak really slowly, just take forever to answer the questions and they’ll probably cut it short
Crystal
ok thanks, you’re a lifesaver
Lisa
gotta go, desk moves
Crystal
kk, congrats again :)
Lisa
thanks :)
Email, September 1
From: Crystal Hemmingway
To: Office Manager
Subject: September
Dear Ms. Rodriguez,
Thank you for all of your help searching for the funds from my co-renter, David Richards. I can only assume that they are lost in transit, and I’m sorry for the delay.
I have submitted my full September rent online today. However, until my co-renter returns, are there any discounts that might be available on the lease? I am between jobs at the moment and have actively been interviewing for new positions, but I’d like to stretch my savings as far as possible. We have enjoyed being residents here for the past three years and would hate to have to move.
Thank you for your help.
Yours Truly,
Crystal Hemmingway
Apartment 2212
Margot’s Journal, Saturday, September 2
Poor Crystal. Things were worse at her job than I thought. I saw a news story on the internet about how her company, Princesses, Inc., is outsourcing several jobs, and how people were laid off. I asked Crystal about it, and she broke down in tears, poor thing. She was laid off this week, but she didn’t know how to tell me. We had a nice long talk about it, and she had a good cry, too. I’m so glad she was able to let it all out. It’s really hard to lose your job like that. I’ve never been laid off, but I’ve resigned from a few dental offices when things were going downhill. It’s hard when the workplace turns into a toxic environment, and you come home feeling icky every day.
I
asked Crystal if she has any ideas about what she wants to do next, and she said she’s considering taking some time off to work on her novel. She said that she doesn’t have a lot of savings, but she might be able to live off it for a little while if she’s frugal. I offered to let her move in with me, in case money was an issue, but it sounds like she wants to stay in L.A. with David for now. I wouldn’t want her to move back permanently (I do enjoy my independent lifestyle) but I wanted to put it out there just in case.
I think Crystal is going to need more support right now, so I’m going to be sure to check in on her often. I know she has David, but he works during the day, and that’s a long time to be alone. It’s going to be a big shift for her to go from working every day to job hunting and/or writing. I should probably send her a card to let her know how proud I am, for how well she’s handling this whole layoff situation. It’s a lot to deal with, but I’m sure the universe has a reason, even if we can’t see it yet. Maybe I’ll pick up some goodies to send along with the card. Organic chocolate is always a hit.
I’m all set to spend Christmas in Minnesota this year. I’m flying out on the 22nd, so I’ll be there to help Mother with any last-minute details for the HHHA fundraiser. That’s on the 24th, and I think it’ll be good to support Mother on her big day. I’m not sure what Crystal and David are doing this year; it’s likely their plans could be affected by Crystal’s job situation. Lisa and Bryan will be at his parents, having their “Fontana Christmas.” She said I’d be welcome this year, but I’d already booked my ticket to Minnesota. It was probably for the best, because I went to the Fontana Christmas last year, and I felt like the odd one out. They all had all their little in jokes and traditions, which I’m not a part of. On Christmas eve, I happened to mention that I was sensitive to wheat, and Lydia (Bryan’s mother) went out to get me gluten-free rolls for the Christmas dinner. It was kind, but no one else even tried a gluten-free one, and they were really bland. When I told Lydia I was sensitive to wheat, I didn’t mean that I never ate regular bread, I just meant that I don’t eat a lot of it. In the end, I had a whole basket of dry pre-packaged gluten-free rolls sitting in front of me, while I watched everyone else eat the soft, crusty wheat ones from the bakery.
At least she tried.
Work continues to be challenging. Dr. Jackson is upgrading the equipment, starting with the panoramic x-ray machine. Supposedly, it’s going to be simpler and easier than traditional bitewings, but so far, it’s been a big hassle. We had a two-hour training to explain how to use it, and all the advantages. I understand that it’s more comfortable for patients and there are fewer steps, but right now, all of the steps are new for me. I’ve done bitewings so many times that I could practically do them in my sleep. This “pano” thing has a lot of steps on the computer, and we have to learn a whole new system. I’m a quick learner, but the instructor sped right through it with a few clicks. I had to ask him to repeat it twice because he talked so quickly, and he mumbled, too. He was drinking one of those energy drinks, and was shaking from all the caffeine. I hope that he’s keeping an eye on that, because it’s really unhealthy to be hyped up like that all the time.