Shalia's Diary Omnibus

by Tracy St. John

  Other One and I had some trouble getting into the communications room with its triple-sealed doors. However, we had been well constructed. We were perfect after all, and made to spread perfection throughout the universe. We got inside and killed the contaminated Bi’isils frantically calling for help from home world.

  That suited me fine. Bi’is already knew how we had protected it from the chaos. When we got there, it would be as heroes of the greatest civilization, a civilization we would guard against any and all forms of disarray.

  I – the Shalia me – woke from the dream gasping and feeling cool Bi’isil blood drenching my hands. Fortunately, my room in Medical did not resemble the Bi’isil research facility in any way. That helped me get my senses quickly.

  I immediately called for Feru, Tep, and Oses. I reported my dream/memory in all its awful detail. They were quiet for a long while after I finished.

  Oses was the first to hazard an opinion. “It’s Bi’isil technology, as we thought it might be. They’ve been at the forefront of biological type weaponry, but this is a whole new realm of design.”

  Tep said, “If this was what was used in the unsolved attacks on the Barinem, then it’s decades old. There has been no evidence Bi’is used an organism of this type since then.”

  “The weapon went wrong, turning on them. We have to suppose they couldn’t correct the program that only sees things as right or wrong with no gray area in between.”

  Feru weighed in. “To allow such a creature to contemplate heavier matters of right versus wrong would also allow it to develop a conscience. They wanted a pure weapon, not one that could think for itself.”

  I could see they’d been discussing the matter at length out of my hearing. I didn’t speak, choosing to monitor the It instead. All I sensed was the usual cold, hard intent. If the It could only think in terms of the universe as being black and white, order and chaos, it would never change its mind about its end goal. All that mattered was the eradication of disorder, leaving only purity behind.

  Since nothing is perfect, eventually the organisms would destroy everything they came in contact with. The It and Other One would not stop with those of us on the transport. They had a whole universe to cleanse.

  Feru asked me, “Shalia, do you have any sense of what species the organism took over in that incarnation? What did the cuff device’s wearer start out as?”

  I thought back to all the dreams, trying to get a sense of who the It’s prior victim might have been. However, I could only recall that pinpoint need to destroy everything that wasn’t orderly, that didn’t fit the It’s version of perfection. Whoever my predecessor was, I thought his personality might have been erased.

  My voice choked, I told them that. “Is this what’s happened to Candy? Will it happen to me in the end?”

  Tep was quick to say, “We don’t know that. The organism was still under development to judge from the memory. The Bi’isils wanted to test it on the Barinem, which tells us they were not at an end stage yet. In fact, the It may have been programmed specifically for whatever wore it first. If it was a creature of very different biology from your own, then it could be another factor working in our favor to free you of its influence.”

  I tried to feel as hopeful as Tep tried to sound. Yet Candy had been a long way from herself before they put her in stasis. If not for the fact that something in me is fighting off the It, which Candy did not possess on her own, I would probably also be lost – perhaps for good.

  I am so scared for us both, but I am mostly scared for my child. What is going to happen to her?

  Tep and Feru left after our conference. Before they did, Oses spoke with them and the security guards. I was startled to see everyone leave, shutting the door to allow Oses and me privacy.

  “Now what?” My eyes were wide in disbelief.

  Oses gave me a smile as he sauntered over to the bed. “We think you can have a little break from feeling like a prisoner. Certain restrictions have been lifted.”

  I felt the It perk up over that. “You are not letting me out of stasis,” I spluttered. “That would be madness.”

  “No, you’re not going free. In fact, I’m going to put the physical restraints on you again. Should your invader begin to act as if it wants to take over, you’ll tell me. The security guards will come in and deal with the organism, if needed.”

  I swallowed. ‘Deal with the organism’ sounded pretty fatal coming from the big, scarred Nobek standing over me. Yet if he could help it, Oses would never allow me to be harmed. Not that it matters so much to me since I’m pretty damned harmed already.

  The most important thing to me is that he’ll do whatever has to be done to save my baby...even if I have to be sacrificed in the process. I believe it would destroy Oses to kill me, but he understands how I feel about the matter. I have been reassured he won’t be sentimental if he has to finish the It once and for all. It’s a relief that I can trust him.

  I watched him strap my helpless legs, torso, and arms down. He ran his fingers between the straps and me, making sure they were tight but not so tight that my circulation would be compromised. “Is everything feeling okay?”

  “Right as rain,” I answered. “Do you mind telling me what it is you’re up to?”

  “How about fucking?”

  My jaw dropped. “You must be kidding. With this thing infecting me? Even talking through me? You can’t be sure this is me! Prophets save me, you can’t be that desperate!”

  Oses shook his head at me. “I know it’s you at this moment. You are still Shalia, the woman I once made my Matara. I love you. I always will. I need to be with you.”

  “In case there isn’t a later?”

  He swallowed. I knew then that Tep and the medical team had told Oses something they hadn’t told me. Like despite the discovery that my system fought the It, they very much feared there was no stopping the transformation.

  They hadn’t given up, not by a long shot. But things were not looking good. If I was going to be with Oses...really be with him...this might be our last opportunity.

  “Don’t uncover any of what it’s done to me,” I whispered. “I don’t want to see it. I want to pretend – I want to pretend it’s just us. You and me and nothing else.”

  Oses nodded. He moved the sheet covering my naked body, pulling it so that it bared me except the part that covered my upper chest and arm where the It had formed the armored exoskeleton. He tucked the fabric carefully, making sure it wouldn’t loosen by accident.

  He stripped his formsuit off. Despite being on leave, Oses had gone back to wearing his uniform for the most part. I think it gave him some measure of security and made him feel more like his old self. More in control, maybe.

  He looked pretty damned incredible out of it though. Even with things as awful as they were, I couldn’t deny the surge of passion to see that big, scarred mountain of muscle move into view. Dear prophets, Oses is astonishing to look at. With all that’s happened lately, I seemed to have forgotten.

  And while I’m infected, or whatever you’d call what’s happened to me, it didn’t seem to affect the Nobek’s attraction to me. His cocks looked rock hard, swollen with arousal. They glistened, exuding lubrication as he regarded me lying there. I became as wet in a big hurry.

  “These need to be open for me,” Oses rumbled, his voice deeper than usual as his hands wrapped around my ankles. He spread my legs to accommodate himself. The stasis field was keyed to my biology, so Oses was able to move me about without being affected.

  Stasis didn’t keep me from feeling trembly as he crawled up onto the bed. Like a stalking panther, the huge man came for me, slinking until he crouched over my still form.

  Oses gazed into my eyes, pinning me with his stare. I was lost in those purple oceans, which dwindled as his cat-slitted pupils widened. I felt so helpless under the weight of his gaze. I was helpless because of the straps and stasis, but even without them I wouldn’t have been able to move.

  Neve
r taking his gaze from mine, Oses lowered his face and put a hand to my breasts. They had grown full with my progressing pregnancy. Once, he had been able to cover the entirety of a mound with his hand. Now my tit overflowed his palm. He sighed his appreciation as he squeezed and suckled.

  Arousal shivered from his mouth and hand to my pussy. I moaned in gratitude as he played with me, plying my flesh with licks, kisses, pinches, and nips. While he delighted us both with my breasts, his hand traveled down to dip into moist warmth. Fingers probed and then plunged, fucking me. I fought to arch into him, but of course I couldn’t. I cried out the Nobek’s name. I shouted, “Master!” when his thumb brushed my clit.

  Slick from my juices, he pressed a finger and then a second into my ass. Kissing his way down my swollen belly, Oses coaxed the tight muscles to relax, to accept his demands. Bit by bit, I opened to him, the slight ache dissipating with his careful ministrations.

  I forgot all about his preparations when his lips closed around my clit. Oses sucked me into his demanding mouth. Crazy-sensitive with my growing pregnancy, I shouted as a bolt of pure exaltation blasted through that little bit of me. For a moment, I forgot how to breathe.

  His mouth released me, leaving me gasping on the cusp of orgasm. I looked down, seeing how that dark head continued to hover over my mound. His hot breath caressed my straining flesh. I knew he was only a millimeter from tasting me again. My every sense was alive, waiting for that contact.

  Instead, Oses spoke. “You’ll come for me. I’ll touch you, and you’ll surrender to it. There is to be no holding back. Do you understand, pet?”

  “Yes,” I whispered hoarsely. I remained on the brink, needing only the slightest nudge. “For you, Master. I’ll come because you will it.”

  “Then do so.”

  Lips surrounded me again; raw silk tongue slid over me. I didn’t fall from the precipice, I hurled myself off. I lost myself, lost in convulsions of unremitting ecstasy, flung out of the bounds of time and space.

  After a while, I was dimly aware of Oses on me. Then he was in me. His huge body covered me, weighing me to the bed. His breath was hot, at this point, in my ear. His hips thrust, spearing me over and over, his cocks thick within. His groin rubbed constantly against my clit, bringing me again. I lay there beneath him, unable to move as he took his pleasure with me. As he forced pleasure on me, again and again. My cries were continuous as he inflicted greater and greater passion upon me.

  Then all at once Oses froze. His breath stopped for a second or two. Then his groan unraveled from his throat, a great stream of spoken release just before the physical release. I came again to feel him emptying within me, granting me the gift of his love.

  As a potential last encounter, it was precious. Only then did I realize that every time is precious. I hope I never take it for granted again. I hope I get many more chances to not take it for granted.

  May 25

  Today was pure shit. It started when Betra shared the news that Candy’s body stopped fighting Other One. Whatever immunity I was able to share with her in that blood transfusion is done. The organism has sped up its invasion, and she’s showing spikes of near consciousness again. She’s been placed in an armored stasis capsule under full guard. They predict she’ll be completely transformed within a week. We are losing her.

  The second round of bad news: the It is gaining ground in me. Tep came in to tell me that the latest scans show the invader has entwined its green veins within my chest, right arm, upper back, and neck. More are feeding into my brain.

  “The baby?” I was almost too scared to speak.

  “The organism continues to avoid your abdomen, including the womb. That’s a good sign since its twin invaded Matara Candy throughout her entire body quickly.”

  I thought about my suspicion that the pregnancy had a lot to do with retarding the It’s progress. All at once I felt a grudging agreement elsewhere in my head. Oh shit, my thoughts were leaking into the It’s consciousness. More frightening to me was that it knew the baby was keeping it at bay for the moment. It saw my unborn child as an enemy.

  I went into full panic. “Doc, the It realizes my pregnancy makes it hard to conquer me. It wants to destroy her. You’ve got to deliver this child now!”

  While Oses growled a warning and Betra stroked my hair and shushed me, Tep slowly shook his head. “It’s true that a factor to do with the pregnancy appears to be the reason you are still yourself. As it is the only weapon we have at the moment, I can’t deliver the child. That would erase the only defense you have. We would lose you, Shalia.”

  “If you don’t, the baby could die! Oses, make him take her!”

  Tep leaned close so that his face filled my vision. “Listen to me, Shalia. We are monitoring you very closely. The instant this thing shows any sign of threatening your child, I’ll deliver her. Until then, you’re our only hope of finding out how to stop it from destroying you and Candy. If we can save all three of you, we will.”

  I sobbed, “If you can’t—”

  “Then I’ll do what has to be done. I promise you that.”

  Feru had come in at some point. “If you can continue to access the It’s memories, we could discover what separated it from its last host. There is hope. It’s too soon to give up on you.”

  I detected a curl of satisfaction from my unwanted interloper. The It was pretty sure what had happened before was of no bearing to the present situation. It was convinced it would not lose.

  I glared at Tep through my tears. “Don’t you leave my child to a single second of chance. Do you hear me? A tiny little hint –the mere suggestion of a hint that she is in danger – you get her out. Don’t you dare fuck with me on this, Tep.”

  If he was offended by my show of threat, he didn’t give any indication. Instead, Tep told me, “I have already started giving the baby medication to accelerate development of her heart, lungs, and other major organs. She’s now a few weeks advanced of the original due date.” He gripped my shoulder and squeezed. “Do not fear I’ve not made her my main concern, Shalia. I’m giving her all the support I can so that if it comes to an early delivery, she will have the best possible chance of thriving.”

  Relief filled me. All along, Tep had been looking out for my daughter, making her the priority she deserved to be. I realized that in his own fashion, he was as dedicated to her survival as Oses – even if it meant giving up on me. It was all I could ask for.

  May 26

  Another dream. More information from the monstrosity trying to take me over. As much as I hate seeing into the It’s mind, I admit we need to find out as much as possible about it. It is a killer with no remorse and apparently nearly impossible to stop once it has full control of the host. It’s not just my baby at stake. It’s everyone on this transport...maybe every living being in the universe. Because if there are more of this thing out there...

  There were once many of them, those that attacked the peaceful villages of Barinem. After the Its had killed off the Bi’isils that created them, Bi’is sent ships after the organisms. Not to collect them. To destroy them.

  The It remembered detecting something in its body, some infection that spread quickly among the other armored creatures. The infection targeted the host bodies that had been overtaken by the It, Other One, and the rest.

  I’ll relate the story as the It, because it feels like part of my own memory. I don’t identify as the It by any stretch of the imagination, but it’s easier to tell it from its point of view. This is what I told Tep and Feru:

  We had detected the Bi’isil hunter-killer crafts in orbit over the planet, hovering in space over the research facility. At first, we sent messages of greetings to the Makers, assuring them we stood ready to protect order and purity for the kingdom of Bi’is. When we were met by silence, it puzzled us. Then we began to fall ill, a weakness the flawed original Maker had not accounted for. The hunter-killers departed, believing us destined to destruction.

  We quickly realized we were u
nder attack by those who had responded to the emergency calls of the research team. Of course they wanted us destroyed. Only flawed beings would come to the rescue of other flawed beings. Knowing they were impure and we were the cure for that, they set out to remove us.

  Other One said it best: “Bi’is is in danger of such creatures devastating its perfect order. We may be all that stands in the path of chaos. We must somehow survive to protect it. These bringers of disarray must be thwarted even as we fall.”

  We erased all the records of the Maker’s research. All samples and files were systematically eradicated. If we failed to leave the planet, we could not allow the lesser creatures to have the technology. We figured those Makers not yet damaged on Bi’is could reverse engineer our perfection, to be used to the higher good.

  Yet there was another obstacle to our mission, which we hadn’t counted on. The Maker had programmed a failsafe device, designed to destroy the facility to keep it from enemy hands. By accessing the files, we set it in motion.