Shalia's Diary Omnibus

by Tracy St. John

  Other One and I had been readying the shuttles for our return to Bi’is. We knew someone there would be able to cure this malady the imperfect entities had loosened upon us. Even if our current host bodies succumbed and died due to the illness, we would revert to hibernation state and survive in our small initiating habitats. Once we were on the home world of the Perfect Makers, they would re-establish us on new hosts. Then we would be able to resume our mission to clear all chaos, starting with Bi’is itself.

  The shuttle hangar was some distance from the research facility. When the rest of our number triggered the failsafe and set off the explosions, Other One and I were the sole survivors. The two of us searched through the rubble, but all that remained were bits and pieces. No hibernation habitats were intact that we could find. Meanwhile, Other One and I were growing sicker. We had to get underway for the home world, or Bi’is might very well be lost to the chaos.

  It was at that point when the real Shalia woke to tell the others what I’d learned from the It.

  Tep and Feru were quiet for a little while, mulling over my tale. Oses came in while they thought it over. Since everything to do with me is recorded these days due to the It’s invasion, he was able to replay my account. Naturally, he was the first to ask for clarifications.

  “You are sure that besides your parasite and what took over Candy, all the other organisms were terminated?”

  That was the part that worried me the most too. “The It is almost positive. All that was found were bits and pieces after the explosion. The It and Other One couldn’t make an accurate count of obliterated hibernation bracelets in the debris. They were still certain the research facility was where all the rest of the organisms were when it blew up.”

  Tep scowled at thin air. “So whatever species hosted these organisms was blasted into powder too. There was nothing recognizable about the remains?”

  “No. Only ash and burnt parts of the building’s structure.” I tried a weak joke. “That’s not how I want to rid myself of the It, Doc.”

  “No.” He tried out his own smile and failed. “I would not recommend it.”

  Oses made an impatient sound. “We have to find out the last of this thing’s story up until Candy bought it from the vendor. Shalia is running out of time.”

  He stopped there, but I had a pretty good idea of what had been unsaid. At the rate I was receiving the It’s memories, they would have to take my daughter from me before we got to what we needed to know. Once I was no longer pregnant, the It would have no barrier to taking me over.

  “I have an idea,” Feru ventured. He looked extremely uncomfortable and his voice was hesitant.

  “Anything and everything is appreciated,” Tep said.

  Feru seemed pained as he glanced at me. “We’ll have to keep it from Shalia’s guest.”

  “Go,” I said wearily. “Talk amongst yourselves out of the hearing of the enemy.”

  They left the room. I lay there, thinking my dark thoughts. It seemed like forever before the three men returned.

  I didn’t even get the chance to try to read their expressions. The next thing I knew, Oses’s head pressed against the side of my face and twin darts of pain stabbed my neck. Terror overcame me in an instant. The weapons commander was biting me, filling me with his intoxicating venom. Last that happened, I’d temporarily lost my identity to the It. I’d been sure if it happened again, I wouldn’t return.

  I shrieked. “No!”

  Feru’s voice floated through the room. “The organism is affected by the venom too, Shalia. We may be able to find those answers while it is drugged.”

  “But it recovers faster than me,” I sobbed. “I won’t get back my identity!”

  Oses stroked the other side of my face even as he stripped me of my defenses. The pain of the bite was gone, and the first sweet vapors of euphoria wafted through my skull. The It reacted. I had the sensation of it trying to withdraw as we were drugged.

  “This is our final shot, Shalia,” Tep said. “Our only chance to find out the truth. I’m sorry.”

  I knew he was right. I also felt positive I would be sucked into that darkness as I had before and I would stay there. It made me want to resist. If it hadn’t been for the stasis field, I would have fought Oses with everything I had. I couldn’t face losing me.

  However, I had no ability to avoid it. The It and I succumbed, with me temporarily in power. Oses moved away, licking a drop of my blood from his lips as he drew back to look down on me.

  “I am sorry, my love,” he whispered.

  Feru leaned over me, to force me focus on his face. “Shalia, are you in command of yourself?”

  I floated, tranquility now my friend. I checked on the It, feeling it almost slumbering in a wash of unaccustomed peacefulness. “I got this,” I sing-songed. It was nice to feel so good. Terror was long gone.

  “Can you access the It’s memories? Can you see in its consciousness at all?”

  Armored hands reaching for a Bi’isil, the alien screaming in my head. Ripping. Tearing. Strangely colored fluids spraying. Yuck.

  “I don’t like what it sees,” I whined. “I don’t want to look.”

  “We need to know what it did after the research facility exploded. Where did it and Other One go once they realized they were the only two remaining?”

  That memory was much better, less gross. “We got in the shuttle. We headed for Bi’is to protect it.”

  “Did you make it there?”

  “No.” I pouted, feeling mildly petulant, as did the It. I fell more and more in sync with its presence, though we were still separate. It was easier to tell the story through its view though. My voice went from dreamy to cold and distant. “Those who had sent the infection had kept a couple of ships in orbit just in case some of us survived. They’d hidden out of range so we wouldn’t detect them until it was too late. The hunter-killers attacked our shuttle.”

  “And then what?”

  I sneered at the fool. “What do you think? A simple transport shuttle can’t fight hunter-killers, can it? It can’t outrun them either. We had one option. We evaded fire as much as we could and went straight for a vessel of the enemy. We managed to crash land in their fighter bay. Then we went through the warship, fighting and killing its crew. Once we had done that, we used the vessel to attack and destroyed the other hunter-killer ship.” Pride radiated from the It, and my lips curled in a smile to feel its pleasure at having overcome such odds. The strong had prevailed. Chaos had been defeated.

  “You headed to Bi’is in the hunter-killer ship, then. You didn’t reach it, correct?”

  I sighed. Defeat was such a foreign concept to the It. Regret that we had been delayed in our mission for so long filled me. “Right. The infection was going through our host bodies like wildfire, killing them though the disease couldn’t touch me or Other One. In fact, it was quite soon after our victory that we had to give up the hosts and retreat to the hibernation cells.”

  Feru smiled at me. Tep smiled at me. Even Oses nodded his head, as if he were proud. I experienced warmth all over at their approval. Even these creatures, lost in their madness and imperfections, appreciated what I’d been through. They saw how I had fought with all in my power to turn the universe into the ordered paradise it should be. They knew I’d done my best.

  Feru asked, “What of the host bodies? Can you remember what they were?”

  I drew on my last memory after I’d retreated from the host to let my energy be preserved within my hibernation cell. I saw the carcass of what I’d inhabited, what I’d taken over and perfected for too short a time. I had to laugh at the genius of it all. My first act of restoring sanity was to have transformed an example of the unruliest creatures in the galaxy. “Tragooms. Other One and I transformed Tragooms.”

  Feru chuckled with me. “You find that funny.”

  “Of course. Such disorganized creatures, fighting every being they come across, including each other. It is perfect justice, in its way.” I me
ntally shook my head at the irony.

  “How did you and Other One end up on Darotkin?”

  I frowned as I tried to recall my journey from the warship on automatic pilot heading for Bi’is. “It’s a bit fuzzy, because I only come out of hibernation when a potential host touches me. Some of the imperfect Makers...such a contagion that needs to be eradicated...they intercepted the ship. They recognized what we were, so I suppose there were records of our creation off Barin. They placed us in quarantine so we couldn’t infect potential new hosts or be revived. Then they stored us in a containment pod. It was of Adraf origin. They did not want us to be traced as their work.”

  “Weapons like you and Other One are against the Galactic Council’s charter,” Feru said.

  I smiled. I had already learned that from the records I’d downloaded when we’d destroyed the inferior Bi’isils on Barin. “We are unstoppable. Lower life forms are right to fear us.”

  “Do you know where the inferior Bi’isils placed your containment pod?”

  “We were buried on a moon on the edge of the Dantovon system, designated LXS-42. Apparently, there was a war while I was in hibernation. The race of this current host, the species you call Earther, occupied it.”

  Oses nodded. “During the war, the Earthers set up bases along many trade routes to harass our ships.”

  I said, “One of the Earther soldiers dug up the containment, along with some failed experiments the Bi’isils interred there. He saw us as pretty bracelets, much as Other One’s present host Candy did. The soldier had the intention of giving us to his wife and mother on Earth.” I made a face. “I kept hoping he would put me on. With the weapons and ships available through his government, Other One and I would have forged a fine start of things months ago.”

  Feru pursed his lips, thinking hard about the matter. “Did you ever make it to Earth?”

  “No. The base on LXS-42 was suddenly evacuated. Other One and I were left behind in the confusion.”

  “Armageddon,” Oses muttered. “Most of the Earthers off-planet raced home when it happened, hoping to find their families.”

  Feru ignored him, keeping up the line of questioning. “Someone stumbled across you at some point, though.”

  “An Isetacian.” I recalled the alien had tried my hibernation bracelet on, but I’d found it impossible to meld with his bony frame. He had not been a worthy host. “He was a scavenger who sold what he found for money and other things to trade. That is how Other One and I came to end up in the possession of the vendor on Darotkin.”

  I realized about then that my consciousness had been merging with the It. I spoke with the invader’s voice and experienced its past as if it were my own.

  That wasn’t what pulled me free of the It’s influence however. It was a major understanding. The Tragooms that the It and Other One had inhabited had found escape from the invasive organisms only through death.

  Once I had that information, I’d gotten enough semblance of sense to have a good look at how much influence the It wielded over me. I discovered my worst fears come true: the It was getting further into my brain, gaining command of even involuntary functions.

  The It knew that the pregnancy hormones were what kept it from gaining control over my entire body. The presence of the baby was indeed my sole defense...a defense the It was close to destroying. In a matter of days, perhaps even hours, the It could cut off blood supply to the fetus. It could reprogram cells meant to destroy infections and turn them on my little girl. It would kill her as soon as it had the means to do so.

  We had run out of time.

  I screamed, terrified desperation negating the effects of Oses’s bite. “Take the baby, Tep! Take her now while you can! It’s almost there!”

  Then the It charged forward, eclipsing me, erasing me. I fell into a black pit of senselessness.

  May 26 – postdated

  There was no time in the nothingness that claimed me. When the world outside my skull began to swim in and out, I had no idea if a second had passed or a decade.

  I had only flashes of sight and sound at first. I thought I was dreaming. Everything was hazy, like a mirage. I saw the view from my medi-bed. The diagnostic arms were over me, their lights a steadily glowing green.

  Later I was looking from the bed towards the door of my room. As had become the usual, there were two Nobek guards there. Usually they stayed inside, but at that point they were outside the door. They chatted up one of the Imdiko orderlies. He smiled at the pair of grinning men, young and cute as a button as he enjoyed their attention.

  Another period of blankness. It must not have lasted long because the guards and orderly were still talking. A part of my attention was on them. Another part was on the computer panel of the medi-bed.

  Something different filled my mind. Not blankness. Not real consciousness either. More of a mapping. I looked at a grid of energy pulses. I followed trails I had seen before, looking for something. Control commands. That was what I wanted. Now that I had subverted stasis, the warning alerts would soon tell them I was breaking free. I needed to divert their attention and finish my escape.

  The first alert beeped. Another joined it. In less than a heartbeat, several medical alarms went off at once. I looked at the panels of the bed again. The lights flashed red, signaling shutdown of all major organs.

  The Imdiko orderly shoved past the startled guards to get to me. In an instant, the room filled with more medical staff, Tep tearing in at full speed. The guards were distracted and pushed aside in the panic. My moment had come.

  I shot off the bed, my fully armored arm tossing the heavy panels away from me as if they were constructed of cardboard. I ignored the shouting medics, springing right for the Nobeks. I had not yet gained my full strength and capabilities, but it was now or never. Whether my host was ready or not, I had to get out of Medical.

  My only hope was through surprise. I had managed that, and I took full advantage of the guards’ confusion.

  I brought the fully armored fist around in an arc to smash the skull of one. It made a beautiful crunching sound that brought triumphant joy I hadn’t experienced in far too long. He dropped at once.

  I had no opportunity to enjoy the victory. Though my infiltration had strengthened the other arm, the armor only extended slightly beyond that shoulder. I could not incapacitate the other guard so easily, especially since he had an instant to recover from his surprise. I did not try. The second the first Nobek went down, I turned and grabbed the other. He was going for his blaster, moving in a blur. I was faster. I had him by the throat in an instant and flung him at the startled medics. Before he landed, I was already running out of Medical.

  As adrenaline pumped, I became aware of a tiny part of my mind screaming in horror. It had started screaming when I’d knocked the first guard down. Little by little, I had become more conscious of the terrified bit of knowledge twisting in my head, attempting to escape understanding of what I’d done.

  Her. It was the weak-minded host. That irritating Earther who was always whining to herself and others about the baby.

  The damned unborn child, I cursed to myself as I ran, finding the least-used corridors as I hurried to the in-house transportation system. It was that fetus which made the Earther’s body an unorganized soup and somehow managed to keep me at bay when I tried to push past. That would end soon. All I had to do was stay out of sight long enough to destroy the hateful parasite and complete the transformation. I knew all the places where the vessel’s minders rarely went. I couldn’t be tracked by them either. If I could gain any of those safe places, I would win. If not, I would die...and I would take this creature and her progeny with me.

  Feeling what seemed to be my own thoughts, which spoke of hate for me and the baby, helped me regain a bit of the real Shalia. I flew to that screaming bit of me, the part that was pure, albeit almost insane, Shalia. I separated as best as I could from the It. It invaded my conscience, consuming what small mote remained.

&nbs
p; It was a nightmare. One moment I was terrified and attempting to hide from the invader. The next instant, I was the invader, determined and homicidal. Alarms sounded in the ship. I pumped adrenaline and endorphins into my unaltered legs, making them run faster than I’d ever managed before. When I came upon any Kalquorian, I used my enhanced arm like a battering ram. I was doing a lot of damage, if not outright killing those who got in my way.

  I wandered back and forth, two different people. The weaker Shalia me could only watch as the stronger It me left a wake of carnage as it sought a hiding place.

  Besides my unborn child, I feared the most for Oses and Betra. Betra might try to find me, believing he could talk me down. There was no doubt in my mind that Oses would come hunting. Sooner or later he would find me too. If I was too far gone, if I could not regain control, the It would not stop at killing either man. That scared me enough to nearly give in once more to the urge to scream and scream and scream.