Mirrors of the Sea

by Sally Wentworth

  Alys gave him an old-fashioned look. 'I don't like men who understand women that well.'

  'Sorry.' The music ended and they came to a stop. 'Come and have a drink. It's all right; your aunt is having a comfortable chat with the old biddies.' Taking her arm, he led her over to the bar, but that was only a yard or so from where Titus was standing with his friends. 'What would you like?'

  'Well, as you're so rich, I'll have something extremely exotic, please.'

  'Brazen hussy. How about a Harvey Wallbanger?'

  'Sounds good.'

  She stood to one side, waiting while Jack ordered the drinks, her back turned as much as possible to Titus and his group, and pretending an absorbed interest in a picture on the wall. But she instinctively knew that he was aware of her presence and was watching her. It took a great deal of effort not to turn and meet his eyes, but somehow Alys managed it, although she greeted Jack with a relieved smile.

  'Here, is that exotic enough for you? I told them to stick lots of fruit and one of those silly little paper parasols in it for you, as well as a swizzle-stick.'

  Alys laughed. 'How vulgar! It's perfect. Thanks. Did it cost a great deal of money?'

  'Definitely.'

  'Good! Shall we go outside?' Alys suggested, wanting to be away from Titus's disturbing nearness.

  They wandered out on to the deck and leaned against the rail, sipping their drinks. To their right they could see the lights on the Turkish coast as the ship sailed steadily on.

  'Why are you annoyed with me for not telling you I'm a consultant?' Jack asked.

  'I was sorry for you. I thought you were a poor, out-of-work doctor. You aroused my maternal instincts.'

  'Good grief!' Jack exclaimed. 'No wonder I can't get a woman.'

  Alys gave him an assessing look. 'Somehow I don't think that's true. Women are always falling in love with their doctors.'

  'Ah, but do their doctors always fall in love with them?'

  They were silent for a moment but it was obvious where their thoughts lay, and Alys said, 'Why don't you ask Gail to dance? Singling me out isn't going to help you.'

  'Does it help you?'

  Alys smiled a little. 'Yes, of course it does—but I'm a lost cause.'

  'And you think I'm not?'

  'Of course not!'

  'You're a terrible liar, Alys. Tell you what; how about if we get married so that we can comfort each other in our old age?'

  She gave a burst of laughter just as someone else walked up to them. Alys saw Jack stiffen and she turned, expecting to see Titus. But it was Gail, and she was alone.

  'There you are, Alys,' she said airily. 'I've been looking all over the place for you.'

  As everyone in the lounge must have seen them walk out on to the deck, this was a little hard to believe, but Alys knew a cue when she heard it and said, 'Hello, Gail. How can I help you?'

  'I want to talk to you—alone.' And she gave Jack a compelling look.

  'I have no secrets from Jack,' Alys said mildly.

  'Really?' Gail looked both amazed and intrigued, giving them a speculative look. 'Well, I have—so if you wouldn't mind, Jack, dear...'

  'Of course. Would you like a drink?'

  'Yes, please.' She glanced at Alys's glass. 'What on earth is that?'

  'A Harvey Wallbanger. Would you like one?'

  Gail shuddered. 'No, thanks, I'll just have a G and T.'

  When he'd gone, Gail said haughtily, 'If I'd known you were going to betray my confidence, Alys, I wouldn't have confided in you in the first place.'

  'That sounds reasonable,' Alys replied.

  'There's no need to be clever!' Gail snapped. 'You told Titus that I'd told you we were ‑' she hesitated '—that we were close.'

  'You told me you were lovers,' Alys said bluntly. She gave Gail an assessing look. 'Was Titus angry with you for telling me? Have you had a row about it?'

  'Certainly not!' Gail answered shortly.

  'Why have the two of you kept apart today, then?'

  'Simply because Titus wants to protect my reputation,' Gail said loftily. 'He's afraid that people will talk if we're together all the time.' Her voice sharpened. 'There's no need to look like that, Alys. It's perfectly true.'

  'Well, as he works in a university I can understand that he might be worried about his reputation,' Alys conceded. 'But I really thought that you were an enlightened feminist, Gail, that you were above all this traditional, establishment way of thinking.'

  Not knowing quite how to take this, and not wanting Alys to lower her estimation of her, Gail said, 'Well, I am, of course, but Titus has these old-fashioned ideas about women, and he's very protective.' Belatedly realising that she had been side-tracked, Gail went on in a sterner voice, 'You shouldn't have told him, Alys. Why did you?'

  'I don't know, really. It just sort of—came up in the conversation.'

  'I didn't know you knew him well enough to have that kind of a conversation!'

  She was about to go on but Jack tentatively put his head out of the door. 'Would you like your drink now, Gail?'

  She gave an impatient sigh, but waved him on, saying, 'Yes. Yes, all right. Thanks.' She took a drink, appeared to remember something, and said, 'Oh, by the way, Alys, my mother has decided that it will be too tiring for her to take the whole-day trip tomorrow, so she's just going to Ephesus in the afternoon. So I thought I'd keep you company tomorrow morning.'

  Alys smiled inwardly at the way she'd put it, but said, 'That's kind of you, Gail, but my aunt is taking the whole trip, so I'll be with her.' An idea occurred to her and, without thinking, she said, 'Perhaps you could keep Jack company, though?' Then, realising that they might both resent her intrusion, added, to give Gail a get-out, 'That's if you don't mind sitting in the last coach of course; poor Jack always has to travel in it.'

  There was a perceptible pause while Gail weighed up the advantages and disadvantages, but then she gave Jack a sweet smile, rather like bestowing a gift. 'Of course I'll keep Jack company. I wouldn't want to leave him on his own.'

  Alys was relieved to see an amused twist to Jack's lips as he said humbly, 'Thank you so much, Gail.'

  There was the sound of voices and quite a few people came out on deck while the band was taking a rest, Titus and his friends among them. Alys expected Gail to go and join them immediately and was surprised when instead the older girl stayed and chatted animatedly, albeit mostly with Jack, for quite some time before excusing herself. But before she went she gave Jack another smile and said, 'I'll be back shortly and then we can dance, Jack.'

  They watched her go and Alys glanced at Jack, wondering what he was thinking.

  'Do you think I'm going to be used to make Titus jealous?' he remarked.

  Alys gave a relieved sigh, grateful that he'd realised. 'I think they had a row. Or, at least, Titus probably made a cutting remark and Gail got upset.'

  'It must have been an extremely cutting remark, then,' Jack observed.

  She gave him a curious look. 'You have absolutely no illusions about Gail, have you?'

  'None,' he admitted frankly. 'But I still find her fascinating. She's so—feminine, so one hundred per cent female. Secrets, intrigues, pride, vanity, she's got the lot!'

  'And you'd never be bored with her,' Alys guessed.

  'Yes, you're right.' Jack turned to grin at her. 'How perceptive you are, Alys.'

  But for once not perceptive enough to notice that Titus had come up to them. 'Would you care to dance, Alys?' She blinked, taken by surprise and not knowing how to answer, until Titus gave an impatient sound and took hold of her wrist. 'Excuse us, Jack.'

  He led her on to the small dance-floor where the band were back and playing a slow number. He didn't mess around, taking her firmly into his arms and holding her closer than a chance acquaintance would. But then there were other couples dancing and there was little space, so maybe that was why.

  'What were you being so perceptive about?' he demanded.

  'What?' Alys t
ried to put out of her mind the thought that she hadn't been this close to him for a very long time and concentrate. 'Oh, you mean with Jack. We were—er—just talking generally.'

  'Really?' He didn't sound as if he believed her. 'You didn't used to be very perceptive—quite the opposite, in fact.'

  'Do we have to talk about the past all the time? Why have you asked me to dance?' she said quickly, not wanting him to pursue the subject.

  'Does there have to be a reason?'

  'Yes.'

  Titus gave a short laugh. 'Maybe you are more perceptive, after all.'

  'So why?'

  'When you swam out yesterday, what was your reason?'

  'To get some exercise, of course.'

  'The real reason, Alys—and don't pretend there wasn't one.'

  She looked up at him, trying not to remember how many times they had danced like this before, how often he had bent to kiss her neck, and the number of times that had led to their hurrying back to their little house to make love. But remembering hurt, and her voice was suddenly hard as she said, 'I wanted to be entirely alone for once.'

  Titus looked down at her intently. 'So badly that you had to swim half a mile out to sea?'

  'Yes!' She tried to think of an excuse and said unsteadily, 'Working as I do in such a closed community and among so many people, there are times when you have to get right away or you'd go mad. You have to be alone to—to recharge your batteries. And it's the same on this ship.' And when she'd finished Alys found it wasn't an excuse at all, but the truth.

  'You didn't used to feel such an urge to go off and be alone.'

  No, because I was at one with you, Alys thought. When I was with you I was complete and whole, and I needed nothing else. Her hand stirred in his, like a bird wanting to be free of a cage, and she lowered her head, afraid to meet his eyes.

  'Did you?' Titus insisted.

  She shook her head. 'No. But—things are different now.' They were silent for a while and Alys welcomed it; she didn't want to talk. If she closed her eyes she could almost imagine that they were still together, still in love. But sadness filled her when she thought that this would be the last time she was ever to be held in his arms, ever to be so close to him. A great wave of grief filled her heart for what they'd had and lost. Titus's fault? Hers? It no longer mattered. Tears pricked at her eyes but she blinked them back.

  'Alys?' Titus had bent his head to try and see her face properly.

  Dredging up what little pride she had left, Alys lifted her chin and said, 'Do you think you will go on seeing Gail after you get back to England?'

  'Why do you want to know?'

  She shrugged. 'Shipboard romances are notoriously fickle.'

  He gave a mirthless laugh. 'From my experience so are the ones on land. As you should very well know,' he pointed out needlessly.

  'You're talking about the past again,' Alys said shortly, adding, 'But then that's all we have, isn't it?'

  'Is it?' he said on a meaningful note.

  'Of—of course.' Alys was suddenly afraid to look at him, afraid to think.

  'We have the present,' Titus said carefully, his eyes on her face.

  She gave him a startled, half-fearful look, wondering what he was leading up to. 'Your present would appear to be with Gail. Perhaps even your future,' she said equally carefully.

  'I don't think about the future,' Titus said with a shrug. 'And the present is big enough to hold more than Gail.'

  'What—what do you mean?'

  Titus drew her closer, his eyes glittering down at her, and she felt the familiar surge of longing, of aching frustration and desire—the need that only the other night had sent her running to him, only to find him with Gail. A need that had now to be conquered at all costs. But Titus, unbelievably, was saying, 'We were good together; I don't have to tell you that, do I?'

  'N-no.' She stared up at him, her eyes widening.

  He lowered his voice, bent to speak so that only she could hear. 'I have a large, comfortable cabin all to myself. Why don't we get together—for old times' sake? See if the magic still works?'

  She gazed at him open-mouthed. 'The—the magic?'

  'We used to strike sparks off each other.' Titus was watching her intently, waiting for her reaction.

  Bright spots of colour came into Alys's cheeks. 'You're propositioning me!' she exclaimed in a stunned voice.

  'Hardly! Not when we've known each other so well. It's not as if it was the first time. It would just be a— rather nice way of reliving an old memory,' Titus said with a shrug.

  'Like playing an old record you'd forgotten you had?' Alys suggested, her voice dangerously brittle.

  'Exactly! You've found the perfect simile.'

  'Just to see if you still like the tune, if it still does anything for you?'

  'Right!' He raised a suggestive eyebrow. 'Tonight? OK?'

  After the love and sadness she'd been feeling just a few minutes ago, his open prurience made Alys feel suddenly defiled. 'If we weren't on this dance-floor,' she said fiercely, 'I would kick you where it hurts most! How dare you proposition me? I wouldn't go to bed with you, even if it wasn't the same bed you took Gail to.' She became aware that her voice was rising and lowered it to a forceful hiss. 'And for your information I don't keep old records that are no longer hits; I chuck them in the dustbin—which is where you belong!' And she pushed him away with a furious shove, abandoning him in the middle of the dance-floor as she strode back to her aunt.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  The cruise definitely wasn't for lie-abeds; by eight the next morning the passengers had eaten breakfast, listened to a lecture, and were making their way with local guides to visit the ancient castle at Bodrum, where the ship was docked. Then they boarded coaches again to travel to the next site.

  Alys and Aunt Louise got on to the last bus, but deliberately sat some rows in front of Jack and Gail, because Alys didn't want to cramp Jack's style. And he seemed to be doing pretty well; although Gail had looked a little bored at first, Alys heard her laugh several times and guessed that Jack was doing his best to charm her. Alys wished him luck; he deserved to be happy. Her own emotions she determinedly buried, although she had spent another almost sleepless night, continually tormented by the thought that she could have been in Titus's arms. But not after the way he'd propositioned her, never like that!

  They visited two more sights that morning, Titus giving a talk at the second, then drove to the shore of a large lake where they were to have a picnic lunch at a little cafe where tables were set out in the shade thrown by trees that whispered in the breeze. It was pleasant there, and after they'd eaten Alys sat back in her chair, eyes closed as she lifted her face to the sun. Then she felt the lightest touch on her shoulder and opened her eyes to see that a large, beautifully coloured butterfly had settled there. She watched, fascinated by its nearness, by its lack of fear, but then it rose a few inches in the air, to settle again on her lips.

  By now several people had noticed and were watching, among them a botanist who was one of the lecturers. 'It's taking the salt from your mouth,' he told her.

  Attracted by the small crowd gathering around her, Titus came over and watched as Aunt Louise took a photograph. 'One to show your grandchildren,' he remarked flippantly. At that Alys turned her head sharply to look at him, making the butterfly fly away. Wistfully she watched it go, brilliant against the clear blue of the sky, and when she looked towards Titus again he had walked away.

  The lake was so beautiful that Alys was reluctant to leave it, but they had to board the buses again to visit Ephesus, the best preserved of all the ruined cities they had visited. Alys and Aunt Lou were duly impressed, but it had been a long day and they were glad to get on the coaches which were to take them back to the ship, which had travelled to another port to meet them.

  They went early to bed that night and Alys was so exhausted that she slept deeply, waking only in time to catch the coach for the next day's excursion. Today there was a
choice between a full or a half-day's trip, and Aunt Lou had chosen the half-day, admitting that two consecutive whole days in the heat were a little too much. But Titus, and of course Jack and Gail, had gone on the longer trip so Alys didn't see them until the evening.

  She was up on the sundeck, reading, and catching the last of the sun when Gail came to look for her.

  'You aunt told me you were up here.' She sat gracefully down on the lounger alongside Alys's.

  'Had a good day?'

  'Yes, I did actually.'

  Alys gave her a surprised look. Knowing that Gail's mother had been on the half-day trip, she said, 'Who were you with?' quite expecting her to say Titus.

  But Gail, looking a little sheepish, answered, 'Jack Reed, as a matter of fact,' adding rather defensively, 'He's quite fun.'

  'Yes, I know.'

  'And quite nice.'

  'Very nice, I thought.'

  'Well, yes. Nicer than I expected him to be at any rate,' Gail admitted.

  'He has hidden depths, hidden talents,' Alys remarked, knowing that Gail would be interested in anything at all mysterious.

  'What depths?'

  'I expect you'll find out in time,' Alys evaded.

  But Gail was becoming suspicious. 'Do you really know something about Jack or are you making it up?'

  'I really know something,' Alys admitted.

  'Well, why won't you tell me?' Gail asked.

  'Because I'm sworn to secrecy.'

  'Really? How intriguing.' Gail gave her a contemplative look, then sighed. 'I know your type; once you've sworn to keep a secret you'll never tell.' She shrugged. 'Look, you know we're not leaving this port until midnight? Well, I thought it would be a nice change if we had dinner in a restaurant in the town. I've already fixed it with your aunt; she says it's OK with her.'

  'Gail!'

  But the other girl had already stood up and was heading for the stairs. 'Meet you on the quay at seven.'

  'Gail!' Alys shot to her feet and called after her as she ran down the stairs, 'Is it just the two of us?'

  Pausing, Gail looked up at her. 'No, Jack's coming.' And she went on her way.

  Inwardly fuming, Alys went straight to the cabin to apologise to her aunt, but Louise was quite content for her to go. 'It will do you good to have a change of company.'