Shadow of Doubt

by Melissa Gaye Perez

  “Oh, Guy's my brother. The one I wanted to sing to me in while I was in the hospital.”

  Suddenly Jordan's face lightened up.

  “Who? My baby sis actually wanted me to sing to her? Wait a minute...what hospital? What are you doing in a hospital?”

  “It's about time,” Jordan thought. “But did she have to wave it in his face to get his attention?”

  “Well...Jordan and I kind of had a little wreck. That's how I broke my arm. The nurse’s said I was dabbling on about wanting my bubba to sing to me.”

  Guy glanced at the cast on her arm now. “Oh, so that's what happened to you.”

  Jordan finally stretched his hand. “Guy Radlee huh? Nice to meet you.”

  “For a moment there I thought you were gonna bash my face in or something,” Guy replied laughing as he finally reached out to shake Jordan's hand.

  “I was,” Jordan replied not at all ashamed of his illicit thoughts of this man.

  Then he turned to Dolly and put his hands to the sides of her arms. “What does he keep calling you? Tell me what your real name is.”

  Dolly grinned peculiarly at him. “Oh...uh my real name is Barbara Jean Radlee. My friends all just call me Barb or Barbie,” she explained.

  Now Jordan was the one amused and Guy threw his arm around her shoulder. “Cause she looks like a Barbie doll,” he proudly stated of his sister.

  “Yes...I know,” Jordan agreed with him. “That's why I've called her Dolly all this time.”

  Then Guy turned seriously to Barb. “I know you like it here and all, I can tell. But I need you with me. And Mom and Dad are home worried sick about you.”

  Jordan quickly lost his smile as he listened. Barb looked at him pleading with her eyes for help. Jordan didn't know what to do or say.

  “Where exactly is home?” he did finally get the nerve to ask her.

  “California,” Barb answered sullenly. She didn't even want to think about leaving Jordan and giving up what they had so happily shared here. “We live in Los Angeles. But our parents live in Nashville. That's where we are originally from.”

  “That explains the tan,” Jordan answered trying to find a smile as he stroked her face, but couldn't. “I figured you lived near the beach, just never figured it to be completely on the other side of the continent.”

  “Barb doubles as my manager,” Guy rudely cut in, then went on to explain. “I'm lost without her and my tour is just about over. Three more cities to go.”

  “Everything’s already booked Guy!”

  “I need you there Barb,” he proclaimed without letting her finish again. “We just have Houston, Nashville and back to LA. You can't let me down.”

  Barb rested her head in her hand and sighed. She didn't want to disappoint her brother but she couldn’t bear to leave Jordan either. She loved him so much. They would have to leave tomorrow afternoon for Houston if she chose to do so, and that was just too soon for her.

  Jordan gently massaged her shoulders as he stood behind her. He could feel her tension building and felt sorry for her. He didn't want her to leave either, but saw how much her brother seemed to need her. The two of them appeared to be very close.

  “Look Do...I mean...Barb, if you need to go...I will understand.”

  Barb grinned at his near mistake in her name fully understanding. It felt weird to hear it again after all this time. She hated it now. She wanted to remain Dolly forever and live with Jordan and travel from track to track with him, not concert to concert with her brother. She would much rather be with Jordan.

  She then turned and gazed tenderly into Jordan's emerald eyes. “I love you Jordan Scott,” she proclaimed in a whisper.

  “I love you too, but he needs you now as well. How long could it possibly take?” He said this knowing her decision had already been made. Letting her know he would be here, waiting for her to return to him.

  “Well...Houston day after tomorrow,” Guy cut in. “Then Nashville three days later and LA a week from then. Roughly two weeks in all.” He could clearly see his little sister was taken in by this man, but he wanted her with him. “My little sister's my right arm.”

  “Well, right now I'm not exactly anybody's right arm,” she laughed as she held up her cast.

  Jordan smiled proudly at her now. “Little sister huh? Just exactly how old are you anyway?” he asked with relief that he was finally about to solve the biggest mystery of all.

  “Twenty-four,” she stated proudly as she slid her arms around his neck, cast and all. “Why, did you really think I was too young for you or something?”

  “Sometimes I wondered,” he answered then tenderly kissed her sweet lips.

  Her brother grew impatient. “Barb? Are you coming with me or not?”

  Barb looked from Guy to Jordan.

  “I think you should,” Jordan then told her. “We can call each other every day and I'll see you when you're finished. You can catch the first flight back just as soon as you're done in LA.” He still had his reservations but found himself telling her to go anyway, not too sure himself if this was the best thing to do, but felt Guy was her family and family needed to stick together.

  “See, the man's on my side Barb. You have to go with me,” Guy cut in arrogantly.

  Barb thought for a second then dropped her head helplessly against Jordan's chest. “Okay, as long as you promise to call me. I'll let you know where I'll be staying. I have everything written down in my hotel room. And my cell phone is there too.”

  She went on to explain to Jordan that she frequently went off alone to rest and get away from it all. That's why it took Guy so long to get suspicious and wait to look for her. She was staying here at this very hotel when she rented the sailboat and drifted out alone.

  Jordan began to understand it all now. Now her dream didn't seem so weird after all. It was Guy who was the one who sang the song she liked so much from the radio. Jordan was proud of her knowing she was such a responsible person being able to manage Guy's career the way she had. He only wished he could go with her but he explained that he needed to get his car ready in time for his next race that was taking place in just four days.

  Barb only wished now she could be with him in four days. She was going to miss riding in that car. But in four days from now she was scheduled to be in Nashville Tennessee.

  “Oh yeah,” Guy started. “You're Jordan Scott, the race car driver aren't you? I've seen you race...on tv.”

  Jordan smiled proudly. “Yes, that's me,” he replied. “Are you a race fan?”

  “Not really, but I catch a little of it on the tube ever now and then. It's not exactly my cup of tea.”

  Jordan really didn't like this man's attitude now. There was a certain air about him that just didn't set well.

  “Well at least my sis has good taste.” He didn’t seem the slightest sincere. Then he turned to speak to Barb. “Well are we on or what?”

  “I guess so,” she replied and finally found a smile. “But I'm sure gonna miss Jordan. He's been so good to me.”

  “You'll live, okay?” Guy replied seeming to grow annoyed now. “Besides, you heard the man, he's gonna be busy racing around.”

  “I know, I'm gonna miss that too.”

  Jordan took her to her original hotel room to gather her things. “I can't believe they held your room for you,” Jordan stated.

  “Well, I rented it indefinitely. I wasn't sure how long I was gonna stay,” she explained.

  She walked over to her purse on the end table next to the bed and took out her wallet from inside. Slowly she slid out her California driver's license and stared at it.

  Jordan came from behind and wrapped his arms around her chest. “Looks funny. But there it is...Barbara Jean Radlee. Just feels really weird,” she stated.

  “I can only imagine,” Jordan replied as he slightly rocked her side to side, hugging her with their heads pressed together.

  Jordan abandoned his plans to work on his car today so that he and his “Doll
y” could spend this last night together before she resumed her life with Guy tomorrow. Barb cuddled to Jordan in the truck as they drove, hardly able to speak a word. He nervously rubbed her shoulder all the way home. He seemed able to know when she was tense and needed to be pampered. Barb loved his sense of compassion and didn't want to even think about spending time apart from him.

  They walked hand in hand on the beach now and cuddled and watched the brightness of the full moon as it lit the sky above the shoreline.

  “Why the solemn look?” Jordan asked as he sat in the sand and pulled her in front of him with his arms gently around her back.

  “I feel like I'm never coming back,” she replied as she turned to stare out over the moon lit water, its brilliance reflecting brightly. She could feel the breeze cooling her face and the sound of the waves splashing the surf was so soothing now.

  “Don't be silly. It was fate that brought us together in this very spot,” he replied ever so romantically as he remembered that morning in June when he found her lying here.

  “Fate? You really think so?”

  “I know so.”

  “I thought you didn't want a woman in your life.”

  “I didn't have much choice did I? I finally realized though just how lonely my life has been until you came along.”

  “And now it's not?”

  “Not a chance,” he replied as he turned her to him then laid her in the sand beside him. “I couldn't possibly imagine life without you now.”

  Barb could never say no to this man as he kissed her madly and gently began pulling her clothes from her body. She only smiled at the moon lit sky above as he made love to her right there on the beach. Never in her life had she felt so wanted...so needed...so loved.

  The next morning, Jordan loaded her luggage in the truck and they silently drove back to the hotel to meet with Guy. Their plane was leaving this afternoon for Houston but she just couldn't find a way to be happy about it. She and Jordan spent their last night together alone talking and planning her return. They planned to call as much as possible but knew it would be hectic. Jordan had a race to participate in while Barb would be traveling city to city with her brother, but they would try to keep up with each others busy schedules as much as possible.

  “It's about time you get here,” Guy blurted as he nervously paced the hotel lobby waiting for his sister.

  “I'm not late Guy,” Barb insisted as she and Jordan strolled hand in hand into the lobby.

  “I'm just anxious to get going,” he replied as he pulled her by the arm, away from Jordan and out the front door and to the waiting limo just outside.

  Jordan didn't like the way he had just yanked her away from him with such intensity.

  “Jordan's gonna drive me to the airport,” she responded in protest when he tried to shove her into the car.

  “C'mon Barb, we don't have time to argue,” he answered seeming far too impatient.

  “Then don't,” she rebelled angrily.

  Jordan got the sudden impression her brother didn't approve of him after all. Suddenly he saw this man for what he really was, a pushy, snobby rich guy. Jordan lost all interest in him immediately, yet wasn't about to let him push his lady around the way he was doing.

  “I wanna ride with Jordan,” she demanded as she pulled her arm free of his grasp and turned to Jordan. “C'mon, let's just go,” she ordered.

  Jordan grinned triumphantly as they climbed back into his truck and followed Guy's limo to the airport.

  “Is he always like that?” he asked her.

  “Not really. He's just been worried about me I guess. Don't worry, everything will be fine,” she assured.

  Jordan didn't quite believe this. He didn't trust Guy one bit after that episode but didn't say anything more about it to her. He loved Dolly or Barb, whoever she was now, and didn't want to hurt her feelings by putting her brother down.

  “Well,” Barb started with an impish little smirk on her face. “At least I didn't remember I was broke after all. I can actually pay you back now.”

  Jordan chuckled at her. “I don't want your money. I just want you to come back home to me.”

  “I intend too,” she whispered as they neared the gate. Guy had arrived in town in his private jet and was already waiting outside the plane for her.

  Jordan parked the truck and they slowly got out. He helped Guy load her luggage on board then stood face to face with her. Gently pulling her to him he kissed her good bye.

  “Barb don't be acting like that in public, okay?” Guy cut in, a tad of jealousy in his voice. “The Paparazzi could be anywhere, taking pictures of you.”

  Barb looked angrily back at him. “I'm not ashamed of Jordan. I love him,” she blurted with pride then turned and purposely kissed him again.

  Jordan smiled widely at his little Dolly. He didn't want to call her anything else. It just didn't seem right.

  “Good bye Dolly,” he whispered feeling that it would be the last time they were together. He wasn't sure she could return to him once she went back to the glitzy lifestyle she led with Guy. All the excitement and money scared him now and he was afraid it would keep her from ever returning. But nevertheless he had to let her go. He felt that it was almost a test of their love. A test he wasn't sure he wanted to risk now, but saw no other alternative. Her brother needed her.

  “Or does he?” Jordan wondered as he leered back at this much too tense brother of hers.

  Then the pilot emerged. They were ready for take off. Barb's eyes met Jordan's once more, the look of fear in both.

  “Bye Jordan. See ya in a couple of weeks huh?”

  “You bet you will...I'll call...I promise.”

  Barb glanced over her shoulder as Guy drug her onto the plane. Her stomach ached tremendously when Jordan was out of sight. She wanted to ditch her brother and run back into Jordan's loving warm arms but had already promised Guy she would finish up the tour with him.

  Jordan seemed to understand. At least he said he did. She sat silently next to Guy as the plane flew its course headed for the Lone Star State.

  Chapter 10

  Barb didn't like Guy's sudden change in attitude. He had never acted quite this snobby toward any of her friends before. She too got the impression that he didn't approve of Jordan, but couldn't quite understand why. Jordan was the kindest most passionate man she had ever met. Never before had she even wanted to let someone touch her the way he had, but with Jordan she hungered for his passion.

  Once they finally reached the Four Season's Hotel in Houston, Barb finally settled into her new surroundings, a two bedroom suite. She sat with Guy on the couch in the small living area that divided their bedrooms to talk to him about tomorrow night's performance.

  “Cheer up Barb,” he demanded smugly. “Once you get back into the swing of things you'll forget all about your new racer friend, uh...Jordan is it?”

  Barb looked startled but not totally. She was used to Guy interfering in her personal life but not this badly. She didn't intend to stand for it. “Is that what you think? I'll just forget all about him and go on as if it never happened? As if he never existed?”

  “Sure you will. You've had boyfriends come and go before. You belong on the road with me and you know it.”

  Barb squinted her baby blues with fury. “Jordan's different Guy. I'm in love with him and he loves me. This time it won't be so easy for you to ruin things for me.”

  “Sure you are,” he humored her sarcastically. “We'll see in a couple of weeks if you're still so much in love...won't we?”

  “What's that supposed to mean?”

  “Nothing. Just that once you’re back in action you'll never wanna leave me again. You thrive on this life just like I do. The money, the fame...it's all a person needs.”

  “All a person needs for what?”

  “To be happy Barb. To be happy.”

  Barb wanted to slap his face. Never had she felt so infuriated and by her own brother. “I wish I never would've remembe
red who you were,” she coldly stated as she stood in anger. “You're nothing but a smart ass little bastard!”

  Guy only laughed at her anger. “You're so cute when your face turns red. You're just like your big brother and you know it.”

  “I consider that an insult! I'll never be like you. Not if that's how you think. That money is all you need to be happy. Huh! You have a big lesson about life to learn.”

  Barb raved and ranted to herself as she stormed to her bedroom slamming the door behind her and grabbed her cell phone. She had only been away from Jordan a few hours now but missed him deeply. She just wanted to hear his voice and to tell him again how much she loved him. Her fight with Guy had made her feel so frustrated and alone again.

  The phone rang twelve times before she finally got the courage to hang it up again. “He must be working on his car,” she thought as she solemnly gathered her clothes and went to take a hot shower. Everything seemed to annoy her...her brother first and now this damn cast. It would be another week more before she could take it off for good. It seemed now that it was always in her way. As long as she was with Jordan nothing seemed to irritate her.

  About an hour before the concert Barb paced nervously backstage. Jordan hadn't called this morning like she had hoped. Now it was nearing 7 pm, the concert was about to begin and she felt so nervous, jittery. Her stomach was churning and she felt suddenly ill.

  She knew it wasn't the excitement of the show. She'd been through it a hundred times. All she wanted was to hear Jordan's confident voice and feel his warm strong hands massage her shoulders as only he could. Even the thought of it seemed so relaxing now as she rolled her head around in circles stretching her neck muscles and listened to her brother's introduction onto the stage.

  Guy was wearing his cowboy hat and boots, his tight fitting Levi Jeans and his royal blue western shirt that sparkled with rhinestones. His blonde hair was curling over the brim of the hat and his periwinkle eyes sparkled in the spot light. With his custom made guitar in hand he began to serenade his audience.