No Going Back (Siren Publishing Allure)

by Redrae Gunn

  Tayen nodded, taking another bite of the salad. “This is delicious.” Tayen complimented everything Cindy had done. “Now get out of here. It’s a holiday. Go be with your family.”

  “I will finish the dishwasher, put the vacuum away, and will see you on Monday.” Cindy nodded still laughing. “Have a happy Fourth.”

  “You, too,” Tayen said, grabbed her plates, and headed to her room.

  * * * *

  When David and Sean returned home, both of them were in excellent moods. They had looked at several different places, and Sean had actually looked at a condo on the seventh floor. He had hesitations about living so close to David. He didn’t want the relationship to go bad like it had before, but Sean figured that as long as he had his own place it would be okay. David had promised not be an overbearing, jealous partner. Tayen figured that as long as she was around, David wouldn’t resort to stalking Sean, so it would probably work.

  David planned to set Tayen’s hair up in curlers and was rummaging through the drawers on either side of the vanity. “These are my drawers,” David told Tayen, and she nodded politely. “I’ve stocked them with everything I need for when I get to fix Barbie’s hair. You can have the other drawers over there.” David pointed to the far sink.

  “What about those?” Tayen asked pointing to the drawers under the first sink, by the door.

  “You can have those, too,” David said, shrugging his shoulders. “I’d thought that you may want to save those drawers for extra toothbrushes, men’s razors, just in case you brought someone home.”

  Sean casually strolled in the bathroom and opened the drawers that David was talking about. He found that a toothbrush, new tube of toothpaste, men’s deodorant, and a razor were already inside. “Controlling bastard, isn’t he?” Sean smirked at Tayen.

  “He just thinks ahead,” Tayen defended David. She found his thoughtfulness endearing. “So are my drawers already stocked, too? I haven’t looked.”

  When David didn’t answer, Sean strolled over and pulled out the drawers shaking his head and rolling his eyes.

  “Yeah, about everything you need is in here. Probably some stuff you’ll never need.” Sean opened the cupboards under the sink and grinned. “Ah, you forgot something.” Sean smirked. Sean checked the mirrored cabinet and then searched the closet.

  “I assure you, I forgot nothing,” David defended himself as he had finished rolling the top of Tayen’s hair and started on the back. “I even got her the lavender shaving foam that she likes.”

  “Sanitary supplies,” Sean said. “Even I would remember that.”

  “David knows I don’t get a period anymore,” Tayen told Sean. “Hysterectomy.”

  “Oh,” Sean said, the smile immediately faded from his face. “Sorry.”

  “I’m not,” Tayen admitted. “I had some complications as a teenager, and then at eighteen they finally just decided to remove it all to alleviate any other complications.”

  “So while Tayen went through this huge, major surgery,” David told Sean as he kissed Tayen on the cheek. “I had my vasectomy.”

  “David knew he wasn’t going to have kids, because he was gay,” Tayen added, “but he said if I couldn’t reproduce, then he wanted to make sure he couldn’t either. It actually made me feel a lot better. I mean, I never wanted to have kids either, just because of my past. I’d never want to be in an accident and leave a kid to fend for themselves. But David joining me in my infertility, just the thought meant a lot. Still does.”

  “I didn’t know you had a vasectomy,” Sean said to David.

  David shrugged. “It never came up.”

  “Well, now there’s no question”—Tayen giggled—“about who gets to impregnate the surrogate mother if you guys decide to have kids. I guess that’ll make Sean the daddy and David the mommy.” Tayen laughed hard then. David was the first to join her laughter and finally Sean.

  David was finished with the rollers, and he sprayed Tayen’s hair with product until she was choking. “Well now at least I can’t smell your boyfriend’s Axe shampoo,” David defended himself.

  “Tayen, why do you smell like Axe shampoo?” Sean asked. David spun her around in the chair so that she had to face the two men. “Come on, we need some juicy gossip,” Sean continued to prod and David gave her a Dominant stare.

  “We worked out together yesterday,” Tayen said, admitting nothing.

  “Yup,” David said, “but usually when you have a workout partner you don’t shower with them afterward.”

  “I don’t want to hear about your sex life.” Tayen pointed at both of them. “Why do you want to know about mine?”

  “Because it’s with a dude.” Sean rolled his eyes like Tayen was stupid. “If it was with a girl we wouldn’t want to hear it. I don’t want to hear about sex with girls period. I want to hear about hot sex you’ve had with a dude.”

  “What he said.” David pointed a thumb to Sean and crossed his hands across his chest. His blond, surfer hair fell across his blue eyes that were blazing with intensity.

  “I don’t usually kiss and tell,” Tayen said smiling shyly. “So this stays just between us girls.”

  Both David and Sean held up three fingers in the Boy Scout sign and nodded their heads.

  Tayen told them about the bet in the pool. David filled Sean in on what had happened in the gym the first time Caleb had shown it to her. She told them about running to his condo, the deafening sound of the lock. “…so in the end, I paid my debt and he was kind enough to wash my hair,” Tayen concluded her story.

  David eyed her. Sean was nearly panting. “You left something out,” David said rubbing his chin. Tayen blushed, and David continued to stare at Tayen.

  “That was hot, David,” Sean came to Tayen’s defense. “I don’t think she left out anything.”

  “Tayen, what did you leave out?” David asked. It was more of a command.

  Tayen looked at the floor and mumbled. Sean’s eyes widened. She had left out a crucial, hot tidbit of information. David had been right. Sean leaned forward.

  “I didn’t hear that.” David wasn’t going to let it go.

  “Caleb has a piercing,” Tayen whispered. Sean covered his mouth with his hands, and David grinned wickedly. “It’s not the regular Prince Albert either. I don’t know what it’s called. I think it’s like the double Prince Albert.”

  “Apadravya or dolphin,” Sean said. “Is it through the head or from the shaft to the head?”

  “Through the head,” Tayen said.

  “Apadravya.” Sean nodded his head. “Those are supposed to be really good for vaginal orgasms. I’m sorry, my clients end up talking.”

  “They are,” Tayen admitted, blushing more. “I used protection, but can you imagine, if the barbell hadn’t been flattened inside the latex?”

  “Actually I can’t,” Sean admitted.

  “Think of it going up your ass then,” Tayen hissed, a little pissed off, which earned her a stern look from David. “Sorry, that was really rude of me.” It had been rude, but so had he.

  “I’m sorry, too, Tayen,” Sean said. “I didn’t mean to make you feel like you told your story to a complete moron. You had every right to get bitchy. I never told you this, but I like you a little bitchy. It reminds me that you aren’t just one of the guys.”

  “If it makes you feel better, I actually think of both of you as one of the girls.” Tayen stuck her tongue out at Sean, and he laughed at her. “Sean, make yourself useful and put on some music,” Tayen said waving him away. “My MP3 is right next to my sound system, and it needs to stretch out a little. I haven’t put those big speakers to the test yet.”

  The doorbell rang, and everyone jumped at the intrusion. “I’ll get it,” Sean said.

  A minute later Sean returned with Caleb, who was holding a white shoe box in his hands. Tayen and David came out of the bathroom and David motioned for Sean to follow him out of the room. He closed the double doors behind him.

  “I
have your shoes,” Caleb smiled, his bright-green eyes sending a searing flare through Tayen’s abdomen.

  “I have your accessories as well,” Tayen managed to say as she pulled a white box from her closet and headed to the bed. “Open it now though, please. I need to see your reaction.”

  Caleb opened the box. He had planned on seeing Tayen’s reaction first, but he could sense that she was nervous about her choices. Caleb saw a shimmering, blue bow tie with a matching vest. The vest had sequined, white stars on it. Very tasteful. Caleb nodded his head in appreciation.

  “I knew you didn’t want a sequined, blue bow tie,” Tayen explained. “But I didn’t think you’d like it very much if we didn’t match, so I went with the glittery blue with sequined stars. I didn’t think that the stars were too gaudy because the sequins are tiny, and the stars are spread out.”

  “You did good, Tayen,” Caleb admitted, “I would’ve picked out something horrifyingly gaudy. This is nice.” Caleb traced his fingers over the bow tie. “I was worried about the sequins cutting into my neck.”

  “I was, too,” Tayen said quickly, “so the soft material was the only way to go. It still is metallic, shiny, glittery, but we match without impaling sequins.”

  Caleb nodded at the box he had brought over. Tayen opened the box and narrowed her eyes, looking at the shoes. Slowly a smile spread across her face as she tested the straps. Genuine leather, white sequins, wide, two-inch heel, and a supporting arch. She nodded appreciatively.

  “I knew you’d be able to recognize fake leather.” Caleb liked her response to the shoes. Tayen hadn’t immediately thanked him. She had analyzed the gift first, making sure it was something with a thought behind it. “I have something else.” Caleb handed over a small, blue, velvet box.

  Tayen took the box and opened it. A small toe ring with a tiny, blue bow tie shimmered in the light. “A bow tie?” Tayen’s eyes flashed brightly as she looked at Caleb.

  “For unwrapping presents,” Caleb replied, smiling, his eyes shimmering with that familiar lust.

  “I have something else as well,” Tayen said and, with a shaky hand, laid a black, velvet box on the bed.

  Caleb looked at her face, filled with nervous fear, hopeful, happy, so many emotions. He reached for the box and opened it. A set of silver cuff links shined in the light. Little fireworks had been engraved on each link.

  “For seeing how big the explosion will be,” Tayen whispered, glancing at Caleb.

  “Damn, Tayen,” Caleb said running a finger over the engraving, “this is really thoughtful. Really, thank you, so much.”

  Caleb turned to Tayen, placed one hand under her chin, and tilted her face toward his. He leaned forward, licking his lips, and kissed her, possessing her mouth with his own. Caleb’s tongue caressed Tayen’s, and he gently bit her upper lip as he pulled back.

  “I didn’t want to overdo it,” Tayen said softly, “but I wanted you to look forward to going to one of these events instead of wishing you had faced social disgrace and declined.”

  Caleb laughed softly. “I wanted you to feel the same,” Caleb said, and then his green eyes sparkled. “We could still go fishing.”

  “Don’t even tempt me like that.” Tayen narrowed her eyes at Caleb. “I have a case of beer on ice.”

  Caleb laughed, and Tayen joined him. “You are so refreshing, Tayen.” Caleb smiled at her. “Seven forty?”

  Tayen nodded. She stood on her tiptoes and pulled Caleb down to her. She kissed his cheek and whispered in his ear, “Thanks for the present.”

  “Thanks for the explosion,” Caleb whispered, kissing Tayen’s cheek. He grinned, his eyes nearly glowing as he left her room.

  Sean was the first back in Tayen’s room followed by David. Both the men looked at her.

  “That was just an exchange of clothing,” Tayen replied, pointing to her shoes.

  “Yeah.” Sean smirked. “That’s why you are still holding your stomach and have no clue that you are in rollers.”

  David laughed at Tayen’s horrified expression. She had forgotten. Tayen started to laugh. No wonder Caleb wouldn’t have minded going fishing. She must look like roadkill right now. Tayen laughed until tears came from her eyes.

  “Don’t worry, Barbie,” David said wiping her cheeks. “I swear that we’ll make him appreciate your previous Medusa state of hair.”

  Tayen groaned but managed a smile at her best friend as he directed her back to the stylist chair. She held in her hand the blue velvet box and couldn’t help but open it every couple minutes to look at the ring inside. A shiver of anticipation ran through her as she thought about Caleb. She opened the box again and smiled.

  Chapter 6

  David had outdone himself. Tayen’s hair was curled and held in the most spectacular updo she had seen. The long stands were shaped as if she was wearing a bun, and then the remainder was left to dangle down her neck. The star pattern on the back of her dress wasn’t hidden by her long hair, but neither was her back completely bare. It was tasteful and glamorous. Revealing yet concealing.

  When Tayen started applying her makeup Sean went through her makeup bag. He added a blue eyeliner to her choices. Tayen raised her eyebrows.

  “You know I have a fetish for blue eyes,” Sean admitted. “It’s the first thing I noticed about David. Every now and again these tiny, blue specks can be seen in your own eyes. I think it’s the color you’re wearing that brings them out. I figure if you add the blue eyeliner, not only will it match, be seductively hot, but perhaps I’ll get to see those blue sparks.”

  “I’ve seen them, too,” Tayen said. “They are right at the bottom of each eye. I had to be looking down at my eyes to see them. Come to think of it, I was wearing blue.” She paused. “Mom had blue eyes you know.”

  “I know,” Sean said simply. “I saw a picture of her once. David probably still has it saved for you. You’d given it to him to keep safe, so I’m sure he did. You have her mouth, too, narrow but full, not puffy.”

  “If I didn’t know any better, Sean Lopez”—Tayen grinned as she applied her mascara—“I’d think that you were hitting on me.”

  “Would you believe that you are the only female I have ever looked at and considered to be beautiful on the inside and out?” Sean said. Tayen looked at him to see if he was joking. He wasn’t.

  “I guess I would,” Tayen replied tentatively.

  “Well, you are,” Sean said. “Thank you for keeping David sane, safe, in control. We wouldn’t have made it without you, Tayen, that’s the truth. I think sometimes I need you, too.”

  Tayen decided that the conversation was getting way too intense for what she hoped would be a light and happy evening. She decided on some humor. “Yeah, everyone needs a piece of this.” She shook her ass and laughed at her reflection. “Unfortunately it can’t be bottled, and the market for the product seems limited. Very bad business decision, but I could do a study and give you the market plan if you’d like.”

  “I’ll take your word for it,” Sean said, his light mood returning. “No need for a study or a market plan, thank you though. Wear the blue liner just on top of the black on the top lids and only the blue smudged smooth on the bottom,” he offered as he left the bathroom.

  Tayen’s phone buzzed and she checked the text from David.

  Yo Killer…gave set of keys 2 lover boy. Hell…fuck…he’ll come 2 ur room 2 pick you up ast 740 so u can medicate til then. Jesus…mediate.

  Tayen replied, Meditate?

  Fuck yes thas wat I ment.

  Tayen smiled at David’s horrific autocorrect failure but decided that some music for the next hour and a half would be awesome. David had assured her that she couldn’t disturb the neighbors with solid front doors and a foot of concrete in between the penthouses. Tayen decided to test his theory and fired up her system.

  David hadn’t been pleased when she had bought the vintage Cerwin-Vegas from a pawn shop. Two sets of fifteen-inch speakers was all that was on her mind now. She was h
appy she didn’t have delicate, little things on shelves, and she pulled her laptop from under the bed and plugged into the system. She fired up the meanest-looking amplifier she had been able to find and waited for the system to stop flashing before she accessed her music file. Finally the manual tuner was turned on and she adjusted some of the settings.

  The hum in the room was constant, and Tayen started out with a classical cello piece. She was adjusting her sound when Caleb entered the condo. He went upstairs and settled down on the black, leather chaise on David’s side of the home office. A person’s choice in music said so much about the individual that Caleb actually felt like he was spying.

  Tayen had no idea that Caleb was just outside her doors, and she cut the song and moved to her laptop, connecting to FILTH FM. The deep bass of the dubstep sucked the air out of her lungs and she laughed at the feeling. She knew that she wasn’t going to blow the tweeters or the subs, so she went into her bathroom and lit a Nag Champa incense stick. She came out and danced around her room.

  Two more classical cello pieces and then Caleb leaned back his head as he heard an angelic voice sing “On My Own” from Les Miserables. He hadn’t heard the normal bravado that he’d heard in nearly every recording of the song. He wished that he knew where she had found this one. The voice, that deep voice that hit every high note, made his balls clench. Caleb listened closely and made a mental note to search YouTube for the recording.

  Inside the bedroom Tayen had plugged in a microphone and was singing the words. Then it was back to FILTH FM.

  Caleb glanced at Tayen’s shaking bedroom doors and wondered what kind of speakers she had in that bedroom of hers. Caleb sighed, listening to the minor adjustments she had made to the tuner. Was anything wrong with this girl? She loved all types of music, and every moment he had spent with her was, so far, a moment he wouldn’t forget easily.