No Going Back (Siren Publishing Allure)

by Redrae Gunn

“Load, fucker,” Tayen yelled at her computer.

  Caleb tried not to laugh. With the variety of songs that she had played tonight, Caleb was sure that her speakers, tuner, amplifier, and computer all had whiplash.

  A soft version of “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star” by The Piano Guys filled the air. Caleb was intrigued. Tayen had listened to classical pieces, musicals, gone to the hardest hitting bass that can be forced through a speaker, and then ended with a children’s song. She also seemed to really like the cello.

  When the lullaby concluded David heard Tayen flipping switches and he could feel the electricity level drop in the room as she shut down her system. Caleb glanced at his watch. Seven thirty-seven. She had timed that well.

  Tayen didn’t need a purse for tonight since they were just going to be upstairs on the roof. She felt the nerves start to climb into her gut. She took two controlled breaths and pushed the feeling away. Caleb was not her ex. He wasn’t going to be staring at every piece of ass that walked by them. Tayen tried to convince herself that she would have a good time. If Caleb did stare at every piece of tail, then she would know that he wasn’t for her. Better sooner than later.

  She donned her shoes and the toe ring then flung the doors open and nearly had a heart attack when Caleb stood in front of her. “How long have you been here?” Tayen demanded, startled.

  “I was going to knock,” Caleb replied. He liked this little bit of startled aggressiveness. “But I was enjoying the music. I came in right before Bach was rudely interrupted.”

  “Oh, man,” Tayen said looping her arm in Caleb’s when he offered his elbow.

  “I found your choice of music very”—Caleb paused as they headed down the stairs—“diverse,” he concluded.

  “I like music.” Tayen shrugged her shoulders. She was about to close the door and then remembered that she hadn’t brought keys.

  Caleb held up his key ring and shook it. “David gave me a spare. So I’ll hold the keys since it doesn’t look like you have a place to put them.” Caleb looked Tayen up and down appreciating how the dress hugged her curves perfectly.

  “What if you decide to run off with someone else?” Tayen asked.

  “I won’t,” Caleb said. “It’s a couples-only thing, remember?”

  “What if I want to leave before you do?” Tayen asked, frowning slightly as her insecurities surfaced.

  “Then I will leave with you,” Caleb said, “or you can just ask for the keys and I will give them to you. Then I will stop by your place for my keys after I leave.”

  “Okay.” Tayen finally succumbed to the loss of having a way out. Caleb locked the door behind them and walked her to the elevator.

  “You look very handsome, Caleb,” Tayen said glancing at him and blushing quickly when he turned those green eyes on her.

  “And you, Tayen,” Caleb replied, placing a finger under her chin so she had to look at him, “look breathtaking.” Tayen melted inside. She had never been called breathtaking before. It felt really good and some of her nervousness faded.

  * * * *

  As the elevator doors opened into the glass enclosed lobby on the roof Tayen hesitated. Caleb patted her hand. “I know you don’t much care for this type of thing, but I promise I will not leave you by yourself. Couples party or not, any man here would be stupid not to try to land you. You aren’t leaving my side or my sight.”

  Tayen smiled tentatively, and more of her tension left.

  “Just processing the wealth,” Tayen said as she glanced at the well-dressed, mingling couples. “Sometimes I forget that I’m not a dirt-poor orphan from the reservation.”

  “I am very familiar with that feeling,” Caleb replied. “It’s like squeezing into shoes that don’t fit, knowing deep down that all your childhood you wore shoes that didn’t fit. So tonight the ‘all I ever knew was different foster care homes boy’ will be playing the part of Caleb, music producer, writer, and performer.”

  Tayen giggled nervously. “Then the ‘everything in my young life died, recent divorcee to a disgusting cheater girl’ will be playing the part of Tayen, co-owner of Wild Hearts, PA, land and oil well owner.”

  “You’re actually lucky we’ll be playing these parts up here for the evening.” Caleb smiled and licked his lips once as he looked at Tayen. “Because do you know what I would do otherwise?”

  “Pray tell,” Tayen replied, her wide smile challenging Caleb to tell the truth.

  “Because if I didn’t have to be a complete gentleman for this event”—Caleb leaned down to Tayen’s ear—“you would be stripped naked in a stopped elevator and my tongue would be taking its sweet time getting to know you better.”

  Tayen brought her hand to her abdomen as she sucked in a shaky breath. His words hit her core, and Tayen felt the moistness start between her legs.

  “I have to wear these underwear all night, so I don’t need them soaking wet already.” Tayen smiled back playfully.

  Caleb smiled while shaking his head. “I made sure that I wore very tight compression shorts so that when your complete honesty and beautiful body makes me want to stand at full attention, I will be unable to do so.”

  Caleb led Tayen into the July heat. “Thank you for choosing white,” Caleb said to Tayen as they headed to one of the large tents that had been set up and festively decorated in red, white, and blue.

  “I have no problem with you wearing just the bow tie.” Tayen flashed a naughty grin at Caleb. “It would be preferable actually.”

  “Maybe later.” Caleb’s green eyes were intense. “If you’re a good girl,”—Caleb paused—“you will be wearing only the toe ring.” Caleb liked the way her eyes dilated and the breath caught in her throat as she pictured being naked in front of him.

  Tayen had to admit that the party was done very well. Open bar, tons of hors d’oeuvres, and after being introduced to several of the couples she was feeling much more comfortable. After her second glass of wine Tayen was looking for water. It was sweltering on the roof even with the fans and mist machines. Caleb had taken off his jacket after about ten minutes, and Tayen was a little sorry that she had gone with a vest.

  “Want to grab something to eat?” Caleb asked Tayen, and she nodded. As they were wandering into one of the covered tents Caleb was approached by the biggest man Tayen had ever seen.

  “Caleb,” the man’s voice rumbled deeply, “I’m not sure I’ve met your date.”

  Tayen watched the two men exchange handshakes. Then the big, dark-colored man chuckled and held his arms out, wide. “Give me some love,” he said, and Caleb hugged him in a large embrace. Caleb growled back.

  The red-haired woman next to the behemoth man smiled at the two of them. “Men,” she whispered to Tayen and shook her head. Tayen nodded her head in agreement.

  Introductions were made. The big man was Steven Thomas, also known as “Bear.” He owned the club that David had taken her to, The Cave. Tayen instantly got the relationship between his name and the club’s name. Tayen had thought that Caleb was big, but next to Steven…

  Caleb was tall, muscular, and had a swimmer’s body with elegant definition. Steven was just a solid mass of moving muscle. It was like placing a thoroughbred next to a draft horse or a buffalo. Steven was about three inches taller than Caleb, his skin was mixed, more chocolate than Tayen’s own sunburned mocha. Tayen figured he was a mixture of black and white.

  The red-haired woman was Casey Mattson. She worked at one of the hospitals, UNMC, coding for the family medicine department. She was small boned, fair skinned, and Tayen noticed that Casey’s hair was done up almost the same as hers. She wore a dark-blue dress that complemented her bright-blue eyes.

  Casey touched Steve’s hand, and he squeezed it slightly, continuing to speak to Caleb. Then he turned to Casey.

  “May Tayen and I be excused to get some refreshments?” Casey asked politely. Steve looked at Caleb. Caleb looked at Tayen, who raised her eyebrows hopefully, and then back to Steve and nodded.

&nbs
p; “We’ll be right over there,” Steve said to Casey and pointed to a table for four under one of the tents. Casey nodded in agreement and led the way as Tayen followed. Tayen noticed that the men didn’t sit across from each other at the table. They sat facing her and Casey, neither of the men taking their eyes off of them.

  “So you and Steve are in a relationship?” Tayen asked as they grabbed plates.

  “We were a long time ago,” Casey said. “We’re friends now. How about you and Caleb?”

  “I met him two and a half days ago,” Tayen admitted. “Literally ran into him in the hallway.”

  Casey raised her eyebrows at Tayen.

  “For real,” Tayen said, laughing. “Oranges went flying everywhere, and as I was helping him pick them up he invited me.”

  Casey glanced at the men at the table. “I’m married,” Casey admitted.

  When Tayen cringed, Casey continued, “My husband, Gene, is dying. Steve and Gene are friends, and Gene said if I didn’t come tonight he would divorce me before he died. They planned it. My husband didn’t want me sitting around at home taking care of him, so I’m here with Bear.”

  “I’m really sorry about your husband, Casey,” Tayen said, searching Casey’s eyes. A small amount of tears had formed in the bottoms, and Tayen reached out and touched her upper arm. “We may want to get away from our guardians later and talk.”

  Casey blinked back her tears, smiled fiercely, and nodded.

  “My relationship isn’t conventional either,” Tayen admitted to Casey as they continued down the line of food. “I live with David.” Tayen glanced to where David and Sean were in an intense conversation at a table right behind the buffet table. “He’s been my best friend since fourteen.”

  “So you are 24-7?” Casey asked, a little confused.

  “It’s not really like that,” Tayen said. “It’s…”

  “…complicated?” Casey finished. Tayen nodded her head. “Yeah, we’ll get away from them later. They will be watching us. Steven won’t let me out of his sight unless I need to go pee, and then he’s watching the door.”

  “I have the feeling that Caleb will be doing the same,” Tayen replied. She smiled and waved as David held her gaze. “It appears that David is also on full-time alert even though his mate is right in front of him. So we have a triple threat.”

  “Brain over brawn.” Casey smirked. Tayen brought her hand to her mouth to stifle her laugh.

  “Agreed,” Tayen said, the camaraderie forming.

  “Here.” Casey handed Tayen a plate from under her own. “Pick out something for Caleb to eat, too. Then we will appear as good obedient dates and they will be none the wiser. They will probably leave us girls to sit by ourselves later while they discuss business. Or we could bore them by talking about medical crap?”

  “Let’s bore them.” Tayen grinned at Casey. “Brain over brawn.”

  “Absolutely,” Casey agreed, and they headed back to the table with two plates of food. They set the second plates in front of their dates and then sat down. Tayen swore she saw Casey wink at her.

  It wasn’t long before the guys were bored of hearing about new coding guidelines and HIPAA regulations that they excused themselves.

  Caleb leaned to Tayen. “I’m still watching you,” he whispered in her ear.

  “Thank you, Caleb,” Tayen breathed in his ear before he pulled away.

  Once the men had left, Casey turned to Tayen. “I like you.”

  “I like you, too,” Tayen admitted, raising her chin slightly. “You haven’t looked at Caleb in a funny way, and you have been honest.”

  “You have been honest as well,” Casey replied. “It’s nice to see Caleb with you. I don’t like to gossip, but his last partner was a horrific menace. She was manipulative to the core.”

  “What was her name?” Tayen asked.

  “Maria,” Casey replied quietly. “She tried to get pregnant, and Caleb doesn’t want any kids, for whatever reasons.”

  “That’s awful.” Tayen was completely disgusted. Why would anyone want to get pregnant with someone’s child when the father didn’t want the child to begin with? It was completely self-centered.

  “I’m glad you agree,” Casey said. “Caleb has been without a partner for quite some time. Maria happened about five or six years ago. He’s done some scenes in the club since then but hasn’t been with anyone more than twice. He’s kind of shut himself off, like he won’t let anyone close enough because he can’t trust them.”

  “That’s too bad,” Tayen said softly. She knew what it was like not to trust other people. Crowds still freaked her out. She would be freaking out right now if it wasn’t for Caleb looking out for her, David being at the party, and Casey’s calm, controlled attitude.

  “Have you guys”—Casey blushed and looked down at the table—“been together yet?”

  “A couple of times.” Tayen flushed as she remembered. “A few times, I guess if I am counting them right.”

  “Good,” Casey said. “I didn’t mean to embarrass you, but you seem really nice and I want him to have a good woman finally without worrying that she is trying to screw him over.”

  “I have no intention of screwing…” Tayen started to laugh. “Okay. I have every intention of screwing him sexually, but I won’t hurt him emotionally.”

  Casey laughed at Tayen’s honesty and her humor. The two continued in conversations about their unconventional relationships.

  “I’m not assuming anything,” Casey replied meeting Tayen’s eyes. “I don’t have any female friends. They tend to be very needy. You don’t seem like that, so unless you start wondering why it’s been two weeks and I haven’t called…I’ll keep you on the friend list.”

  Tayen managed a weak smile. “Thanks. I’ll do the same then.”

  “Really?” Casey asked. “A dying husband has kind of made friends run away, like it’s contagious or something.”

  “Well, I don’t have a husband,” Tayen admitted, “but if it works on ex-husbands, I’ll stick as close to you as I can without being needy.”

  Casey threw her head back and laughed. She leaned over and hugged Tayen. Tayen stiffened at first and then softened, hugging Casey in return. “Let’s get a drink,” Casey said as she held out her hand to Tayen.

  “Absolutely, girlfriend,” Tayen replied smiling as the petite, little Casey pulled Tayen out of her chair with surprising strength.

  “We are in so much trouble if they just became best friends,” Steve growled at Caleb. Caleb nodded his head in reply but was secretly pleased.

  David had told Caleb about Tayen’s reluctance to form relationships with other females. He knew that there had to be more to that story. He wondered if David even knew the reason behind her fear. Perhaps not. If David had known he would’ve expanded on it. Tayen had a secret.

  Chapter 7

  The night grew dark. Anticipation hung in the air. At the sound of the first loud boom Tayen grinned and wrapped her arm tight around Caleb’s firm bicep. He smiled down at her and headed over to a table without a tent. The casinos across the river had started their fireworks, and the sky lit up.

  The booming of the fireworks hit Tayen’s ears, and Caleb could actually see her pulse quicken under the delicate skin on her neck. She leaned her head on his shoulder and gasped as the first round went sailing through the night sky.

  Casey sat next to Tayen. Steve passed by Caleb, placed a wad of Kleenex in Caleb’s hand, then took a seat next to Casey, holding her hand. Caleb looked at Steve and nodded politely, scolding himself for not thinking of it sooner. Caleb was certainly out of practice when it came to dealing with the emotions of women.

  As the national anthem was played and the finale began, Caleb handed a tissue to Tayen. She looked so relieved and let the tears flow from her now brimming eyes. She blew her nose loudly, and Caleb handed her another tissue. She used the other tissue to dab her eyes as she watched the finale. Caleb noticed that Casey was also silently crying at the display
. Steve was watching the display while comforting Casey by rubbing her shoulder.

  Caleb finally placed a hand on Tayen’s shoulder and felt her nearly melt into his embrace. Caleb scolded himself again for being so distant. Tayen’s “computer,” as she called her emotions, was probably reeling from trying to process all of the night’s festivities along with the fireworks. Sensory overload was definitely happening. If Caleb was to ask Tayen to show numbers, she’d probably be at a fifteen.

  When the fireworks concluded, Caleb’s phone buzzed. It was Steve texting him Casey’s cell number to share with Tayen. As the women said their good nights, Caleb turned to Steve. “It looks like they will be good for each other.”

  Steve nodded his head. “They are both strong, independent women, professionals,” Steve mused. “Neither of them wants something from the other. As we agreed before, I believe we are in trouble.” Steve’s deep laughter echoed in the lobby as they entered and waited for the elevator.

  Caleb and Tayen exited on level eight, waved good-bye as the doors closed, and then Caleb couldn’t help himself. He pinned Tayen to the wall and kissed her forcefully. She relaxed into his embrace, accepting his brutal kiss. When they came up for air, Caleb’s eyes searched Tayen’s.

  “Ms. Lone Wolf,” he breathed, “it would please me greatly if you would spend the night. We still have the horrible second Predator movie to either suffer through, or ignore. The choice is yours.”

  “Ignore,” Tayen replied immediately. “But at least we can say we suffered through it.”

  “I don’t think we’ll be suffering,” Caleb replied, eyes narrowing, as Tayen looped her arm through his and he escorted her down the hall to his condo. Tayen’s lust-filled gaze matched Caleb’s, and she didn’t cringe when the door locked forcefully behind her.

  “Tayen,” Caleb said, his voice deep, commanding.

  “Yes, Caleb?”

  “Remove your dress,” Caleb said, “slowly.”

  Tayen’s heart raced as she brought the shoulder strap down, exposing both of her breasts. She had to shimmy the dress over her hips, and she let it drop to the floor. She didn’t step out of the dress. She waited for him to tell her what to do next.