The Amish Secret Wish

by Laura V. Hilton

He stared, his frown deepening.

  “You’re engaged? And what’s up with Anna and her whispering and humming?” Hallie elaborated.

  For a moment or two, his mouth gaped. Then he shook his head. “Oh. No, I’m not engaged. I’m not even dating anyone, and I don’t know why Daed said that. I’ll discuss it with him later. Privately. You should know better, Hallie.” He lowered his voice. “After last night…” He sighed. “I hope you do anyway.”

  She had thought she did, but his daed had sounded pretty certain. And it seemed as if he’d know.

  “And Anna…” Another sigh, this one heavier. “She’s not the scribe. At least I don’t think she is. It doesn’t seem as if she could be, anyway. But even if she is, it doesn’t matter. You’re the one I love. So since she told me that you didn’t want to go to the singing, and that you wouldn’t go even if you could, and somehow I got roped into taking her I figured I would take her to the singing as you suggested and tell her that I’ve fallen in love with you, and if you’ll have me, I plan to court you.”

  Hallie’s heart clenched. So Anna tricked him into taking her to the singing anyway…and Hallie already knew what sorts of tricks Anna would use. Kiah would likely forget all his grand plans. Once again her sister was trying to steal and ruin something precious to her. Like she tried with Toby. Tricking him into meeting her places, telling him lies about Hallie that he needed to know…

  She shook off the negativity.

  Kiah drummed his fist on his knee. “She already reminded me that your mammi is the scribe, and she’s married. Everyone tells me so. I haven’t quite figured out what to say to that, though. Because they are right. Your mammi is married. Not to mention, several decades too old for me. If she even is the scribe. Not that it matters because I choose you.”

  Hallie stared at him, barely keeping her mouth from gaping. He took full disclosure seriously. And maybe she should have asked for full disclosure much sooner. Hopefully, he wouldn’t demand the same from her.

  “I really wish I hadn’t written that my intentions were to court the scribe, but I was so convinced in my thoughts and dreams the whole time we were writing that she was you, I didn’t think past that.” He quit drumming his knee and reached for her hand. Their fingers brushed, sending a sizzle straight up her arm to her heart. Then he pulled back and gave a quick glance around. “Why couldn’t you have made things simple and actually been the scribe? Not that it matters. I still believe you’re really her.”

  She checked to make sure they were alone. If Bishop Nathan could tell Kiah’s daed, she could be honest with Kiah.

  But then again Bishop Nathan was the bishop. He made some of the rules. Including the one about the scribe being secret. He could break his own rule without repercussion. If she did, she would lose her creative outlet.

  On the other hand, they were alone. And if she cautioned Kiah to silence, who would know?

  She held her finger to her lips, saying, “Shhh,” then motioned him closer.

  He stood and bent over her, and she felt his warm breath on her face. The scent of something cinnamon…

  Close enough to kiss…if she wanted to.

  And, oh, she wanted to.

  She puffed out a breath.

  Secrets first, kisses later…If the issue of his engagement to Molly was cleared up.

  “Don’t say anything. Top secret. But I am the scribe,” she whispered.

  He pulled away enough to gaze into her eyes. She tried to make them open and honest.

  He leaned back farther, then sat with a loud, “Ha. Nice try. But I wish you were. It would save so much hassle if the scribe were truly the woman I fell in love with at first sight so long ago.”

  What? He no longer believed she was? Why not? But still…Aww. That was sweet. But apparently, her attempt at being open and honest appeared to be dishonest and shifty.

  His lips formed a smile that flickered and quickly died. “I honestly wish you were.”

  He didn’t believe the truth when it stared him in the face. Turnabout was fair play, right?

  “Love at first sight is a myth.”

  He leaned closer again and winked. “Just kidding. I know you’re really the scribe.”

  She narrowed her eyes. “And I honestly wish you weren’t engaged.”

  * * *

  Kiah didn’t know why Daed would say such a thing. He knew that Kiah had broken up with Molly because she stepped out on him, but unfortunately, Daed also knew that Molly had been begging Kiah to take her back.

  As if it didn’t matter that she cheated on him.

  It did matter to him. She didn’t even have a good reason. Just that it was his fault. How was it his fault? He didn’t make her agree to date any of the guys who asked her out. He didn’t ask anyone to take her to that party she attended. He didn’t even go to those sorts of parties. He was a preacher’s son, for pity’s sake. Daed would tan his hide.

  Reputation mattered. And Daed came down hard on Kiah when he messed up. The scolding for falling asleep in Hallie’s arms might be delayed, but it would eventually come, and it promised to be harsh. But why couldn’t it end up with him being forced to marry the woman of his dreams even if his reputation suffered?

  But that aside, Molly still insisted that her stepping out was Kiah’s fault. He’d never figure women out.

  But with Hallie he’d like to try.

  There was no point in pursuing that, though, until he cleared up the scribe confusion he’d accidentally created with Anna. For that matter, why had Hallie felt the need to lie to him and pretend she wasn’t the scribe? Didn’t she feel the same connection toward him that he felt toward her? The worst part was, he despised liars. He tried to always tell the truth. Was it too much to expect the same?

  Apparently so.

  He pushed the tray holding the checker game closer to her. “You start.”

  “I don’t remember saying I wanted to play.” Hallie picked up the bowl of rapidly melting ice cream and took a bite.

  “Your daed said…” He inhaled deeply. “I’m sorry, Hallie. Your daed told me to get the checkerboard out and play a few games with you. I should’ve waited until you woke up and asked if you wanted to play instead of assuming.”

  She took another spoonful of ice cream. “I’m just upset that you’re engaged and we…um…kissed more than we should have.” She whispered the last six words.

  They shouldn’t have kissed at all. His fault, but at least he’d have the memory of kissing his dream girl to warm him during the harsh punishment that was sure to come.

  He glanced around. Both of their fathers were coming into the room armed with steaming cups of coffee and two cookies each.

  “Jah, me too. And jah, we did,” he said, then grimaced. That probably made little sense, but it was all he would say with their chaperones listening in.

  He searched for a change of topic, something that would be safe to discuss with an audience, but she returned her spoon to the bowl and moved a checker. “You’re going down, Esh.”

  Kiah chuckled, resisting the urge to check the expression on his daed’s face. He wasn’t used to trash talk from women. Of course, Kiah wasn’t used to it, either. But with Hallie he liked it. The trouble was that the shock of it drove any and all rebuttals from his mind.

  In its place was an overwhelming desire to kiss her senseless.

  Not only was that forbidden, but he would also probably destroy his brain cells in the process. And considering his thought process was faulty yesterday due to the massive headache and pain pills, he didn’t want to give Ted any more reason to believe Kiah was an idiot.

  Though maybe he was, since he firmly believed this would work out in the end, with Daed giving up the Molly foolishness, and Kiah getting his happily-ever-after with Hallie.

  Too bad real life was messier.

  Without putting any thought into it, he picked a random checker on the front lines and moved it, but unfortunately that proved to be a foolish move since within a couple
more moves Hallie was able to jump three of his game pieces. Three of them!

  She did a shimmy or something under the covers that he couldn’t see well enough to enjoy with the heavy quilt covering her.

  That probably was a good thing, considering both of their fathers were in the room.

  But the shimmy or whatever it was likely hurt since she winced.

  Joy chose that moment to reappear with an ice pack. She also had a bowlful of green-tinged ice cream that she handed to Kiah.

  He frowned at it. Dill pickle ice cream. Now that it was in his hands, he wasn’t sure he was brave enough to try it. He swirled the spoon around in it, trying to work up the courage. Aaron had said he’d heard good things about it, but he wasn’t there to ask if he liked it. No, he’d gone fishing with some friends until the afternoon singing. He’d invited Kiah, but Kiah had wanted to spend a few quiet hours with Hallie before he took Anna to the singing. She was excited about their date. He considered it a means to an end. If it went as he planned.

  “Your turn, Esh,” Hallie said, drawing his attention back to the board.

  He stared. More than half of his game pieces were stacked up in a neat pile next to her elbow. How had that happened? He hesitated to accuse her of cheating, but, well…

  He cleared his throat. “Cheater.”

  She giggled. “You gotta get your head in the game, Esh.”

  He blinked, looking from the board to her. “So you admit it?”

  “I admit to nothing, Esh. You snooze, you lose.”

  “I wasn’t exactly sleeping. I was sort of remembering what you said about being the scribe and wondering why it’s such a big secret?”

  Hallie looked down at her quilt-covered lap. The men who had been conversing quietly with coffee and cookies silenced.

  No one answered. Kiah wondered if Hallie even dared to breathe.

  Someone—in addition to Hallie—had told him it had to be kept secret. He couldn’t remember who.

  It was rather an unfair rule in his opinion.

  Oh! And she’d told him to be quiet and he’d just blurted it out.

  Hopefully he wouldn’t get her into trouble.

  And hopefully the Molly issue would work out.

  His future happiness depended on being with Hallie.

  * * *

  Hallie watched as, without another word, Kiah started picking up the pieces of the unfinished checker game and putting them away.

  She quirked a brow at him. “We weren’t finished, yet.”

  Kiah sighed. “I clearly need to have all my wits in place to interact with you.”

  “And that’s a lost cause,” Kiah’s father muttered.

  Kiah slumped, folded the game board, and returned it to the well-worn box. He quietly closed the container, stood, and turned to face his daed.

  His daed stared back.

  A muscle jumped in Kiah’s jaw.

  No words were spoken.

  Hallie didn’t know what the point of the nonverbal communication was, but his daed looked away first, returning his attention to his mug of coffee.

  Mr. Esh might be a preacher, and Kiah might speak highly of him, but the man was a bully, and for some reason, he didn’t like Hallie. Whatever the bishop had said about her hadn’t done her any favors.

  Not that she needed any. She might want Kiah’s devotion and crave his love, but she didn’t want to go through the pain of loving and losing ever again. However, she did want to take a chance with Kiah. Even she knew she was too wounded and would be a very bad addition to any relationship. Kiah would be much better off finding love with another girl. Even Anna, if she ever decided to stop playing the field.

  But it would break Hallie’s heart completely to witness Kiah and Anna fall in love and start a family.

  The best-case scenario would be for Kiah to return to Molly in Shipshewana. She was obviously sorry or she wouldn’t be trying to win his heart again. And that way, Hallie wouldn’t have to see him and his new love. Or old love. Whatever.

  Hallie tugged the quilt higher and tucked it under her chin.

  Kiah quietly returned to his seat near Hallie and picked up his bowl of dill pickle ice cream and scooped out a spoonful. He took a deep breath and shoveled it into his mouth. His face turned an odd shade of greenish white, and his lips puckered, but to his credit, he ate it and didn’t gag. However, he did put the bowl and spoon back on the tray. “Wow. Remind me not to get that again.” He hesitated, then glanced toward his daed. “I will eat it, though.”

  It somehow reminded her of a proverb Mammi used to say: Waste not, want not.

  But surely that wouldn’t apply to green-tinged dill pickle ice cream.

  She opened her mouth to protest because she really didn’t want Kiah getting sick but caught the slightest movement of Daed’s head in her peripheral. She glanced at him and he tilted his head toward Kiah’s daed. Jah, and the visiting preacher certainly didn’t need any more ammunition against her.

  Would Daed tell her what Bishop Nathan said about her to turn Preacher Esh so firmly against her?

  Probably not, if it was hurtful.

  But maybe, if they were on the same team.

  Even though she’d been tempted enough by him to reveal her secret, now she was determined that Kiah simply couldn’t court her. Because with her wounds, it seemed as if his parents would never accept her as a partner for their son…and that would doom their future happiness.

  She picked up her bowl of ice cream.

  Maybe the mint did negate the chocolate in the fudge because it didn’t make anything better.

  Chapter 20

  Kiah took another heaping spoonful of the nasty-tasting dill pickle ice cream. Hopefully he wouldn’t make himself sick in the effort not to make his daed look bad, but the faster it disappeared, the sooner he wouldn’t have to eat it.

  Daed said something in a low tone that Kiah didn’t catch, but Ted chuckled. Whatever Daed said, though, was accompanied by a baleful glare toward Hallie, which Kiah just couldn’t comprehend.

  No matter how hard he tried, he didn’t understand Daed’s attitude. Sure, he’d never been all that excited about Kiah looking for the scribe he so “foolishly pursued,” but Daed had joked about it, teased and poked fun. Kiah could go on this “fool’s adventure,” then come home and get serious about a “local girl”—though Daed hadn’t actually mentioned Molly by name until recently.

  He’d never been so negative and downright hateful until they arrived here and met…

  Kiah sucked in a breath.

  Hallie.

  What did Daed see—or think—was wrong with Hallie?

  She was beautiful, hardworking, smart, funny, and sure, maybe a little sad, but that was understandable given the circumstances. Even Daed said that grief had no timetable.

  And hadn’t Mamm said that a girl never truly forgets her first love?

  It made Kiah more than a little sad to realize that a portion of her heart would forever belong to that other guy.

  And that might be why Molly had started pursuing him so aggressively. He had been her first love…

  Although she really hadn’t been his.

  The thought made his stomach hurt. He’d used Molly every bit as much as she’d used him.

  Even though he’d been flattered by Molly’s attention, he’d always imagined himself in love with some shadowy female he saw only in his dreams, and then in misty form. He wouldn’t be able to describe her to his best friend, but he figured he’d know her when he finally met her.

  And he had.

  Hallie.

  Except, she’d been at her boyfriend’s funeral, and even he knew better than to start pursuing her then.

  And then the scribe wrote her way into his heart. Of course, he’d imagined her to be Hallie and never for an instant considered she might not be. Until Mamm and Daed started planting doubts in his mind. And even then the “knowing” continued. Hallie was the scribe. She had to be.

  And then Daed start
ed pushing Molly on him.

  The weird part was Daed was never all that fond of Molly to start with.

  Never.

  He’d heartily disliked her.

  At least until…

  There was that mission trip Daed went on to…

  Hold on a minute…

  Kiah twisted to better see Daed and maybe suggest they take a long walk together and talk this situation out.

  But then he caught movement out of the corner of his eye. He glanced that way and saw Hallie finish her bowl of ice cream and set the empty dish aside. She stared at him, her blue eyes wide.

  Kiah tried to smother a sigh. Now was not the time to confront Daed about the Molly issue. They were guests here, and involving this family in the Esh drama wouldn’t be a good idea.

  He met Hallie’s eyes. For a long moment, he gazed into the warm blue depths. He wished he could lose himself and stay there forever.

  Sadly, it’d probably be considered rude to just sit there and stare into her eyes. Especially since her daed had told him to entertain her until time for singing. He might as well use the time to talk. “Tell me what to expect at the singing tonight. Or maybe what to talk to Anna about.”

  Just like that, the warmth in her eyes chilled.

  Thunder cracked outside, loud enough that the house shook. The noise reverberated, as if Gott Himself agreed with whatever emotions worked through Hallie.

  She pursed her lips. “Ask Anna if she heard rumors about a boy kissing a random girl after a buggy race.”

  That wasn’t fair. She had to know that. He’d be forced to confess to kissing Hallie.

  If the Amish grapevine worked as well here in Hidden Springs as it did in Shipshewana, everybody and their cousins three districts away had heard about it. Shoot, the news might’ve reached his hometown by now.

  He gulped. “I think I’ll ask about the notes she needed to take regarding the home birth yesterday. How they would be used in The Budget.” He hesitated. “Although that topic is taboo among mixed company. So maybe not.” Not only that, but they’d already determined Hallie was the scribe.

  Hallie smirked. Another loud crack of thunder. And the answering throb of pain in his head.