V-Card

by Alicia Michaels

  The tension between us grew and swelled as Luke stood there for a full minute in silence, staring at my profile. I forced myself to remain where I was, not to look at him. I was so angry, I knew if I spoke I’d say something terrible. At the end of the day, Luke was still my friend, even if he was having a jerk moment.

  He came toward me again, his hands grasping my upper arms tightly. I stiffened in his hold, forced to turn and look at him when he was standing so close. His grip was strong, his fingers calloused from guitar strings. “What I meant,” he said softly and slowly, “was that a guy like Dain isn’t smart enough to appreciate a girl like you for what you really are. And no, you are not sexy.” I lowered my eyes, but Luke’s never wavered. I could feel them on me. “You’re beautiful.”

  With that, he let me go and left the room. The door hung open after he was gone and I swiftly shut it. I sank onto the bed and pressed a hand to my mouth. It was shaking.

  I took a deep breath and released it slowly, hoping to calm my stomach, which was churning sickeningly. Luke thought I was beautiful? When had that happened?

  When Dain started paying attention to you, that’s when.

  Annoyance washed over me and I punched my pillow angrily. I’d seen it happen before, knew Luke’s jealousy for what it was. I’d always heard it said that no one wanted somebody that another person didn’t already want. That was it, it had to be. Luke saw me as unattainable since Dain was in the picture, and therefore his plain roommate Jenn had ceased to exist. Now, I was desirable. Dain had made me desirable. Whatever it was Luke was feeling would fade if Dain broke up with me.

  Burrowing under my blanket, I punched my pillow again before laying on it and closing my eyes. Guys, I decided, were stupid.

  Chapter 6

  Day 16

  I poked my head out my door at eight a.m. the next morning, holding my breath. The house was still, quiet. I knew Kinsley had probably gotten up early and left for the library to study. Her Type-A personality wasn’t going to settle for anything less than an A on every exam. She’s already making up for going to bed early by cramming in a few hours before class. No one else was up yet and I was glad. I didn’t think I could face Luke after last night.

  Fully dressed, I tiptoed silently out of my room, bag slung over my shoulder. No one had bothered to buy food this week, so all we had in the cabinets was coffee, a few cups of noodles, and a box of Pop-Tarts. With a silver Pop-Tarts package dangling between my teeth, I quickly loaded the coffee maker. While it brewed, I searched the cabinets for my thermal cup. Breakfast would have to be on the go this morning.

  I found the cup and its top, then turned to the finished pot of coffee just as someone’s footsteps sounded on the stairs. Luke appeared and I found myself unable to function. A five o’clock shadow was sprinkled over his jaws, and his hair was tousled messily from sleep. Rubbing his eyes, he stumbled toward the kitchen, oblivious to my presence. At least, until my mouth fell open and my Pop-Tarts fell to the floor. Luke started, pausing on the line where the kitchen’s linoleum met the living room’s carpet. His chest expanded as if he were holding his breath and he just stood there, watching me from beneath drooping eyelids.

  I swallowed past a lump in my throat, unable to believe what was happening. Before last night, I’d never thought of Luke as anything other than my friend and roommate. Like Christian, he often walked around the apartment half-dressed and we never paid him any mind. Yet now, I found my eyes drawn to his shirtless torso and the pajama bottoms hanging low on his narrow hips. Why hadn’t I ever noticed how broad his shoulders were? Since when were his abs chiseled and his pecs defined with muscle? He wasn’t brawny like Christian, or overpowering like Dain. It was subtle, so much so that you would miss it if you weren’t paying attention.

  Apparently, I hadn’t been until now. For that matter, how had I never known that his hair and eyes held a golden tint behind the brown, like amber? With the sunlight hitting him through the window to his left, his eyes were like liquid gold framed by tawny lashes.

  What. The. Hell.

  I shook my head and knelt to grab the Pop-Tarts, glad I hadn’t opened them yet. I turned my back to Luke and went about pouring my coffee. His bare feet were silent on the floor, but I felt him as he came up behind me. Warmth radiated from him. His voice was deep and husky with sleep when he spoke.

  “Good morning.”

  I swallowed again and forced myself to breathe. This could not be happening. “Morning,” I mumbled, turning to fill my coffee cup. I could hear his feet padding across the linoleum toward me, and I stiffened. I could literally feel heat radiating from him as he reached over my shoulder for a mug from the cabinet. He smelled delicious. “What are you doing?” I snapped, slamming the coffee pot back in place.

  He smirked as I turned around, nearly brushing my nose against his. He shrugged. “Coffee.”

  I slid around him, careful not to let any of our body parts touch. Then I wondered why it should matter when Luke was my friend. We lived in a small apartment with three other people, brushing against each other was a daily thing—while walking down the hall, trying move in the tiny kitchen, reaching for the remote at the same time. Why it mattered now, I couldn’t say. I went to the opposite counter, and finished making my coffee. My hands shook as I stirred sugar and cream into my coffee.

  “Jenn?”

  I jumped. “Yeah?”

  “You’re being weird.”

  “No, I’m not.” I screwed the lid onto my cup and turned to face him again. He was drinking his usual black coffee, leaning against the counter across from me.

  “Yeah, you are. You’re all twitchy.”

  I squared my shoulders. “I’m fine.”

  “I told you I thought you were beautiful.”

  My face heated and my fingers flexed around my cup. “Yeah.”

  “And now you’re being weird.”

  I shrugged. “I’m a weird girl.”

  He snorted sarcastically. “That’s for sure.”

  I made a face at him. Finally, something I could handle. Sarcasm was familiar territory for me and Luke. “Whatever, I’m sure you say that to like a hundred girls a day.”

  Luke’s smile faded and he frowned, staring down into his mug. His nostrils flared as he inhaled noisily. “Sure,” he answered, his voice clipped and abrupt. “Of course I do. Don’t worry about it, it was nothing. A reflex.”

  I nodded. “That’s what I thought.”

  I brushed past him to leave the kitchen, but his arm shot out and his hand grasped my elbow. I paused, forced to look at him as he stared me down. “You shouldn’t believe everything a guy tells you,” he said, his voice low. “Not even Dain. Especially not him.”

  My eyes narrowed, but I didn’t say anything as I pulled away from his hold. Without another word I left the kitchen, retrieving my backpack before leaving the house altogether. I found Christian out front, talking on his cell phone.

  “Sure, Mom,” he said, nodding his head and rolling his eyes. “Yeah, that sounds great … Okay, I gotta go, Mom. I have a midterm in half an hour … Bye.”

  He groaned in frustration as he ended the call and shoved the phone into the pocket of his jeans. I laughed as we left together, both heading toward the main campus.

  “Isn’t it a little early for mom drama?”

  Christian shook his head. “Why don’t you try telling her that? I swear, nothing is good enough for that woman.”

  “The ole ‘you should go to law school instead of being a coach’ speech?”

  His jaw clenched as he nodded. “What else? If it’s not that, it’s the apartment I live in, or the people out with, or the fact that I’m almost a senior and don’t have a single prospect for marriage yet.”

  “Your parents have unreachable standards.”

  “Tell me about it. Anyway, I don’t want to talk about that.”

  “Okay, what do you want to talk about?”

  Christian shot me a sly glance. “We could talk about Da
in.”

  I smiled at the mention of Dain and my skin tingled as it remembered his wandering hands. “Only if you’re going to be nice about it.”

  “Dain’s my friend, and a good guy. If you two like each other I’m cool with it. Why wouldn’t I be?”

  “Why don’t you ask Luke?” I scoffed. “He went all caveman on me last night when he thought me and Dain had … well, it’s not his business what we did or didn’t do.”

  Christian’s eyebrows shot up. “Really?”

  “Yeah,” I said before taking a sip of my coffee. “I don’t know what his deal is. For some reason he doesn’t like Dain.”

  Christian laughed. “They’re both blond and good looking. Guys don’t like other roosters in their henhouse.”

  I paused on the sidewalk, hands on hips and one eyebrow raised. “Do I look like a hen to you?”

  He shrugged. “You know what I mean. He’s just being protective. You guys are like our sisters or something. We don’t want anybody messing with you. I’d probably act the same way if I didn’t know Dain. I’ve never seen him disrespect a girl he’s with, so you’re in good hands.”

  I’d known that all along, but hearing Christian reaffirm it helped a lot. Especially if he was going to be the one. We reached the quad, which branched off toward different areas of campus. Christian needed to go left, and I was headed right.

  “See you later, Jenn. Cut some Luke some slack, okay? After a while he’ll get used to Dain and things will go back to normal.”

  “Fine,” I said.

  Normal … I could do normal. As long as Luke kept his shirt on.

  ***

  Day 19

  The end of the week put midterms behind us. The relief was palpable in the house, and even Kinsley relaxed a little bit. That Friday, after our last round of tests, we all lounged in the living room lazily, staring at the ceiling. Christian sprawled on the floor, his head on the edge of the bean bag chair Chloe was lounging in. Kinsley sat on a bright red chair that swiveled, absently twisting from side to side in the turning seat. Luke and I lay on opposite ends of the couch. His leg dangled off the edge as he adjusted the strings of his guitar, strumming absently.

  “All right, guys,” Chloe said from behind her book, Coco Chanel: The Legend and the Life. “What are we doing tonight?”

  Kinsley groaned. “Sleeping. I’ve almost forgotten what it is.”

  Chloe glared at Kinsley from behind the book. “Seriously? It’s Friday and midterms are over. Screw sleep, it’s party time.”

  Christian shifted to his side and rose up on one elbow. “There are a few frat parties going on tonight,” he suggested.

  “Getting groped by drunk frat boys?” Kinsley replied with a scowl. “No thank you.”

  “Then let’s hit 6th street,” Chloe said. “I need a drink, and I don’t mean watered down keg beer.”

  “Some of us can’t drink,” Kinsley griped. Of the five of us, she was the youngest and wouldn’t turn twenty-one until April.

  Luke plucked at a guitar string. “Then you can drive.”

  Kinsley stuck her tongue out at him. “Or you can walk.”

  “I’ll drive,” I offered. “I’m tired of being cooped up in the house.”

  “What? No Dain tonight?”

  I rolled my eyes at Luke and kicked him with my bare foot from across the couch. “He’s working late.”

  Luke sat his guitar aside and stood. “Oh damn, I was so looking forward to spending the night in Mr. Perfect’s shadow.”

  Chloe frowned at him over the top of her book. “Dude, what’s your problem?”

  Luke clenched his teeth. “Nothing,” he ground out as he left the room. “Let me know when you guys are ready to go.”

  Chloe’s eyes went back and forth between me and Luke. “What was that all about? Is he still freaking out about the other night?”

  Kinsley perked up in her chair and stopped swiveling. “What happened?”

  “Nothing,” I said, shooting Chloe a look that said ‘shut up’. I stood. “I’m going to pick out something to wear.”

  Heading to my room, I closed the door and leaned against it with a sigh of relief. Sometimes living with so many people can be a real pain in the ass. Especially when one of them was a nosey as Chloe. There were no secrets with her, and I was surprised she hadn’t told Kinsley and Christian by now what she’d seen last night.

  Going to my tiny closet, I rifled absently through my clothing. As I laid out a pair of jeans and a strapless top for the night, my phone vibrated in my back pocket. I smiled as I read Dain’s text message.

  Thinking about you.

  I typed a message back.

  Thinking about you, too.

  His response was almost instant.

  What are you wearing?

  Nothing but a smile.

  He answered with a smiley face and: Liar!

  I laughed as I replied. Yeah, well it sounded good.

  I tossed my phone aside and started dressing for the night, even taking an extra twenty minutes to curl my hair and put on make-up, something I rarely do. Staring at my reflection, I smiled and nodded in satisfaction. My jeans made my butt look great, and the silver, spangle-y tube top showcased my shoulders and just the barest hint of my stomach above the waistband of my jeans. A pair of Chloe’s hoop earrings dangled from my ears. I finished it off with a dab of perfume behind my ears. This was the girl I wanted to be; confident, fun, and maybe even a little bit sexy. I hadn’t felt like this in … well, never. It was Dain, he made me feel this way.

  When I went back downstairs, I found Luke, Christian, and Kinsley in the living room, dressed and waiting.

  “Chloe’s not quite runway ready,” Kinsley said, rolling her eyes.

  I checked my small black clutch and made sure I had my ID, cash, and lip gloss. “Of course not,” I muttered. “We can’t all be fabulous like Chloe.”

  Luke’s breath tickled my bare shoulder as he came to stand beside me and leaned close. “Some people should just be happy with the way they are. Maybe if they were, they’d realize that other people liked them that way, too.”

  I didn’t respond, pretending to focus on the inside of my bag. However, I could still feel Luke’s eyes on me. I didn’t want to think about the way that stare made me feel, or how similar this feeling was to how I felt when Dain looked at me. Similar, yet very different.

  No, I didn’t want to think about it at all.

  ***

  By nine o’clock, downtown Austin was coming alive for the night. We left Christian’s car in a lot on 5th and walked, dodging groups of rowdy guys and staggering huddles of girls on too-high heels. Music reached out at us from the open doors of several clubs, and swirling, colored lights flashed invitingly. The street itself seemed to pulse beneath my black wedge boots, and the air vibrated with promise. I let myself relax as I looped one arm through Kinsley’s and the other through Chloe’s. This was a night for cutting loose, and after a week of midterms we’d earned it.

  The guys trailed us as we walked, earning stares from other men on the street. We ignored it, trusting Luke and Christian to have our backs if someone got out of line. Chloe was used to it, Kinsley didn’t know how gorgeous she was so didn’t realize when someone was staring, and I was still on a high from my conversation with Dain earlier. That feeling of hotness was lingering and I was filled with the urge to dance and laugh.

  We flashed our ID’s at the door of Kingdom, one of our favorite dance spots, mainly because it’s eighteen and up. Kinsley and I got our underage wristbands, a different color from the others, and we went inside. Yellow and blue strobe lights flickered through fog billowing from the machines in the corners of the room. Green laser lights flashed to the rhythm of electronic dance music. The small dance floor was packed tonight, but we slipped right in. Chloe paid for two Jell-O shots along the way, downing them both back to back. As usual, she caught the attention of every guy within ten feet as she whipped her blonde hair and started moving he
r hips. Her skintight, black dress left little to the imagination and her Jimmy Choo pumps made her legs look amazing. Despite the fact that neither of us ever looked as good dancing as Chloe did, Kinsley and I threw ourselves into the music as well.

  The guys made a beeline toward the bar first, then appeared on the dance floor as well, beer bottles on hand. Christian and Kinsley fell into their usual goofy dance competition. I gave up trying to figure out which of them was winning by the time Christian countered Kinsley’s cabbage patch with the robot. In a contest over which of them could be the goofiest, it was really a tie.

  Somehow, I found myself dancing with Luke, which wasn’t unusual. In fact, he typically ended up being my dance partner on these nights out, because I tend to be uncomfortable dancing with guys I don’t know. Luke danced closer to me through the fog created by smoke machines, his skin color changing with the flashing of the lights: yellow, blue, yellow, blue. The rapidly changing colors suddenly made me feel dizzy and I used Luke’s shoulder to steady myself. My smile faded as I stared up at him and felt his hand at my waist, pulling me even closer. Our hips made contact, and I gasped. The touch was way too intimate, he was far too close. Still, I couldn’t seem to push him away.

  The fog drifting across the dance floor enveloped us and I felt disoriented and dizzy, thrown off balance. I could only hold on tighter, and stare up at Luke, who was watching me through the strands of hair that had fallen into his eyes. They were wide as they bored into mine, as if he couldn’t quite figure out what was happening, either.

  Somehow, we misplaced Kinsley, Christian, and Chloe in the crowd. I got lost in Luke’s stare and goose bumps broke out over my skin as his hand found my waist. One of his thumbs slipped beneath the hem of my top and found bare skin, caressing it in a slow circle.

  “Luke?” I whispered, breathless.

  He leaned closer, the hair falling over his forehead brushing against mine. “Yeah?”