V-Card

by Alicia Michaels

  “What are you doing?”

  He shook his head as his arms tightened around me. “I don’t know.”

  The last word was muffled as our lips brushed against each other. His breath whispered across my cheek as I turned my head away. His thumb and forefinger found my chin and turned my head back toward his. I didn’t even try to fight as his lips found mine again, capturing them this time. I shuddered against him, my arms going around his neck as we kissed. The vibrations of the music seemed to hum through my veins and I swayed against him, holding on tight. His tongue stroked the seam of my lips and I opened for him, my fingers sliding through the silky hairs at the nape of his neck. Luke’s fingers bunched the fabric of my shirt as our tongues dueled, our bodies still swaying to the rhythm of the music.

  When he pulled away, I could only stare at him, still clinging to his neck. His breath was rapid, his chest heaving beneath his shirt, his lips parted and slick from my kiss. Suddenly, I yanked away from him as Dain’s face flashed through my mind. Here I’d finally found the perfect guy and I was ruining everything, and with Luke of all people!

  “Jenn,” Luke said, reaching for me. I backpedaled some more, bumping into a couple simulating sex with their clothes on.

  “Sorry,” I mumbled before turning to run. Weaving through the writhing bodies on the dance floor, I felt my chest spasm with panic. The room was suddenly too hot, and I was suffocating on shame and confusion.

  “Jenn!”

  I could hear Luke’s voice behind me, but I kept going, picking up speed as I cleared the dance floor and spied the open doors leading out into the night. I narrowly missed being bowled over by a bike carriage pulling three girls who yelled at me to get out of the way.

  “Jennifer!

  I whirled to face Luke, hoping someone else saw us leaving and followed him. That why we wouldn’t have to talk about what had just happened. No such luck. It was just the two of us, and a bunch of strangers coming and going from Kingdom. A drunk girl puked in the gutter as her friends held her hair. A couple clung to each other, laughing and talking as they walked by. A group of single guys on the prowl passed, one of them pausing to look me up and down.

  “Beat it,” Luke growled as he came up behind me. Luke must have looked appropriately intimidating because the guy listened, swallowed up by his horde of friends as they continued on down the sidewalk.

  “Leave me alone,” I said, my eyes darting for a place to go, a place to hide.

  “I can’t, it’s against the rules,” he said.

  Damn. I’d forgotten the rules. None of us girls were allowed to walk downtown alone at night. Luke and Christian wouldn’t have it, and really, it wasn’t safe. So, as I turned to walk away, Luke followed.

  “I’m not going away until you talk to me,” he insisted. I could see him in my peripheral vision, but refused to look at him.

  “There’s nothing to talk about.”

  “Nothing to …” He trailed off, grunting in frustration. “What are you talking about? Of course there is! Something happened between us in there, don’t you think it’s worth talking about?”

  I turned on him in front of a bar called The Library, my hands balled into fists at my sides. “Nothing happened!” I said, my voice getting all high-pitched and squeaky. Guilt gnawed at my insides when he scowled. “It was just a dumb kiss and it should have never happened. It was a mistake. We need to forget about it and never talk about it again.”

  “A mistake,” he said, shaking his head slowly. He shoved his hands in his pockets.

  I nodded. “Yes, a mistake. I’m with Dain. I can’t believe I did this to him. I … I am a terrible person.”

  I stared down at the toes of my boots and Luke sighed. “No you’re not. Dain has no claim on you. You’re a person, not a hat.”

  “Neither do you!” I snapped.

  He held his hands up defensively. “I never said I did,” he answered calmly.

  “Why, Luke? Why would you do this to me now? We’ve lived together since sophomore year, and not once have you ever hinted that you liked me that way. Now, all of a sudden—”

  “Sometimes people don’t notice the things right in front of them.”

  “Yeah, until a new guy comes along and sees it first.”

  “Does it matter when I started to see you differently?”

  “Yes! This isn’t about me, or about your feelings. This is about you needing to live up to your image. Well, I’ve got news for you, Luke, the sun doesn’t rise and set on you. Just because you’ve got half the girls on campus trailing after you like a pack of hungry dogs doesn’t mean I’m just going to fall in line. I am not going to be one of your little groupies just because you’ve decided all of a sudden that you want me!”

  Luke stood there, his smoldering gaze boring into mine for several minutes. His face was inscrutable, and for a moment, I wondered if I’d been wrong. Finally, he snorted sarcastically and shrugged.

  “You know what, Jenn? You’re right. I just wanted to get in your pants. You obviously have me all figured out.”

  I folded my arms over my chest. “I guess I do.”

  Turning back toward the club, Luke ran a hand through his hair. “Screw you, Jenn,” he muttered as he trudged back toward the doors of Kingdom. He flashed his wristband and the bouncer waved him in, leaving me on the street alone. I wrapped my arms around myself and stared up and down the dark street. The strap of my clutch hung from my wrist and I clung to the little bag as I entered The Library, ducking around the bouncer as he manhandled a drunk guy, effectively avoiding an I.D. check. The Library wasn’t far from Kingdom, and I could wait for the girls while I drowned my sorrows in ginger ale.

  The bar was filled, as it always was. Music videos played on the screens behind the bar and conversation buzzed all around, mixing with my jumbled thoughts. I sank onto a barstool and ordered my soda, staring desolately at Miley Cyrus as she attempted to twerk on the screen in front of me.

  I had taken three sips of my soda when my bag began to vibrate on the bar. Quickly, I reached for it and found my phone. My stomach roiled violently as I saw Dain’s name and number flash across the screen. I almost didn’t answer, nausea rolling over me as I remembered Luke’s kiss. How could I talk to Dain, pretending that nothing had happened with Luke? My v-card plan aside, I was desperately afraid of losing him.

  Dain has no claim on you. Luke’s words slapped me in the face, and while I didn’t want to think about them, I had to grudgingly admit that he had a point. Dain and I had been dating, but it wasn’t serious. At least, Dain had never called me his girlfriend or hinted that he wanted anything long term. Still, I felt like crap for losing myself in the moment and kissing Luke. I’d feel even worse about avoiding Dain when he hadn’t done anything to deserve it.

  I answered just before the call could go to voicemail. “Hey,” I said, plugging my other ear with my finger so I could hear him.

  “Hey, babe, I was just leaving work and wanted to see you. It’s not too late, is it?”

  “Of course not!” I said, yelling to be heard over Miley. “I want to see you, too.”

  “Where are you?” he asked. “Someplace noisy, I gather.”

  “I let my friends talk me into hitting 6th tonight, but I’m ready to leave. I’m not feeling so hot.”

  I wasn’t lying. I was literally sick to my stomach and dizzy. I wanted to lay down and curl up into a ball and never come out again.

  “Want me to come get you? I’m not far from downtown.”

  I stood, already making my way toward the door. “Yeah,” I said. “If you don’t mind. I’m at The Library. Do you know where that is?”

  “Of course. On my way, babe.”

  “Okay. Dain?”

  “Yes?”

  “I can’t wait to see you.”

  “I can’t either, babe.”

  Chapter 7

  Once in the cab of Dain’s pick-up I felt safe. I sighed with relief and leaned back against the leather seat, watchi
ng as the city moved by through the tinted window. A mounted police officer sauntered by, the horse’s tail twitching as he blew his whistle, clearing the crowded street. The throng parted and traffic picked up once more. The further we got from Kingdom, the better I felt. I quickly shot Kinsley a text message, letting her know that I’d left with Dain before shoving my phone back into my tiny bag. Dain’s hand rested on my knee as he drove.

  “You okay?” he asked, peering at me as he coasted up to a red light. “Still feeling sick?”

  My stomach was still in knots, but they were slowly untangling. Damn you, Luke, I thought as I pressed a hand to my middle. “I’m feeling a little better,” I said. “I just wanted out of there. It was too hot and there were too many people.” Really, only too much of one person. “I’d rather be with you.”

  Dain’s hand slid further up my thigh and he squeezed gently. “Me too. I had a hell of a day and all I want to do is relax and spend some time with my girl.”

  I stared at the dash, my guilt now a tangible thing threatening to choke me to death. His girl. Dain thought of me as his, so I figured he wouldn’t be too happy about me kissing Luke.

  “I can take you home,” he said as he turned onto the highway, “or I can take you to my place.”

  “Well, let’s see,” I murmured, pretending to think about it. “Go home and lay in bed alone with an upset stomach while waiting for my drunk roommates to get home … or go someplace where I can be alone with the hot guy in a suit. What to do, what to do.”

  Dain chuckled. “You think I’m hot?”

  I shrugged. “It’s the suit, I think. It’s all very James Bond.” The truth was, Dain would have been sexy in a paper bag, but the navy blue suit and loosened tie were definitely pushing all the right buttons to throw my senses into overdrive.

  “What about you in that top? I’m almost mad at you for going out looking so good without me.”

  A little smile touched my lips as he watched me from the corner of his eye. He exited the highway and turned toward a street lined with shops with condos built over them. “It’s just a top,” I murmured.

  “You look like a good time,” Dain joked. “It kinda makes me think about what’s underneath it, and if I’m thinking that I know other guys were, too.”

  In a flash Luke popped into my mind again. Not Luke, specifically. Mostly Luke’s thumb, slipping right under the hem of my top, a slow caress against my hipbone and a circle of fire left in its wake.

  “Are you saying you might be a little jealous?” I said quickly, trying to avert my mind from wandering fingers. I looked over and him and forced a smile. “That’s cute.”

  Dain turned into a parking garage at the end of the street, just beneath three stories of condos. He retrieved a parking pass from the dashboard and flashed it at the attendant, who opened a little gate to let us in.

  “Ooh,” I teased. “Swanky.”

  Dain winked. “Wait till I get you upstairs.”

  He was right, I was impressed. Dain’s condo on the second floor was sleek and cool, decorated in shades of white, black, and pale blue. It was surprisingly clean and well-coordinated. I stared, open-mouthed, at my surroundings, from the large flat-screen T.V. and leather, black couch in the living room, to the kitchen filled with the appliances the dreams of a gourmet cook are made of. “You cook?” I asked as I opened the door of a convection oven and peered inside. A free standing mixer was on the counter, alongside a display of expensive-looking kitchen knives.

  Dain blushed. “You got me,” he said, holding his hands up. “I’ve never even used this stuff. My mom bought it. She cooks when she comes over, then cleans everything and puts it back. I can’t even follow the directions on a box of macaroni and cheese, let alone cook. I’m going to offer to feed you while you’re here, but it’ll be take out.”

  I slid onto one of the silver bar stools in front of a high counter and set my bag down. “I’m not really hungry. We had pizza before we left the apartment.”

  Dain took off his jacket and draped it over the back of the couch. He came toward me, a boyish smile stretching across his face. He grabbed the stool and turned me to face him. “Screw dinner then,” he said, stepping closer and resting his hands on my thighs. “How do you feel about dessert?”

  I rolled my eyes at him. “That was so corny.”

  He laughed. “No, I meant actual dessert. Chocolate chip cookie dough, or mint chocolate chip?”

  “Mint,” I answered quickly as he left me to go into the kitchen. “It’s my favorite.”

  “Mine, too,” he replied, peering at me over his shoulder as he opened the fridge. “I knew I liked you for a reason.” I watched silently as he retrieved two pints of the mint chocolate chip and dug in a drawer for two spoons. “Wanna veg out with me on the couch? Sorry if it’s not as exciting as a night out on 6th, but after the day I’ve had I’m in couch potato mode.”

  I accepted one of the pints from him and a spoon. “Vegging sounds great.”

  He led me to the living room, where we flopped onto the leather couch. As he reached for the remote, I dug into my ice cream. My stomach did a little flip before I could take a bite and I shoved the spoon back into the carton and set it aside. My upset stomach wasn’t going to let me enjoy the evening. I’ve never been good at keeping secrets, and just the thought of upsetting someone made me want to hurl.

  “Dain, can we talk for a second?”

  He flipped through the channels idly, spoon hanging from his mouth. “Sure, babe,” he mumbled from around the spoon. “What’s up?”

  I turned to face him and took a deep breath. “I hope I’m not coming off as one of those clingy girls who gets all attached after a few dates, but …” Actually, I am that kind of girl, but he didn’t need to know that. I plunged on, “I just wanted to know where you see this going. Not that I want to rush anything, but … well, I like to know what to expect and—”

  “Jenn?” he interjected, setting his ice cream aside and turning toward me. His arm rested on the couch behind me and his fingers found the back of my neck, massaging gently.

  “Yeah?”

  “You’re cute when you’re nervous. You babble and you get all jittery.”

  I nudged him with my shoulder. “I take it as a good sign that you think I’m cute. Am I bringing this up too soon?”

  Dain shrugged. “Of course not. We can talk about it. I want you to be comfortable with me, Jenn. You can ask me anything.”

  “Okay.” I took another deep breath, but my stomach was still churning. I fought the urge to barf. “What if I asked you if you were seeing anybody else? Or how you’d feel about me seeing someone else?”

  Dain scooted closer on the couch until our thighs were touching. “You want the truth? The weekend after our first date, I took my ex out to dinner. She called me up wanting to get back together and I thought I at least owed her some time face to face to decide if it was a good idea.”

  Jealousy stabbed me in the chest, but I couldn’t really be mad at him. One date didn’t make him mine, and after what I’d done earlier I had no right to make demands of him. “Fair enough. What happened?”

  “She reminded me why I broke up with her in the first place,” he explained with a grimace. “I had such a good time with you, and to be honest you were all I thought about while I was with her. So, I decided I’d rather move forward than go back. I wanted to see where being with you would take me. Is there something I should know? Is there someone else?”

  “Not exactly,” I said slowly, thinking over my next words carefully. I was stepping out onto thin ice and I didn’t want to go under and drown in my own stupidity. “There’s this guy … he recently told me he has feelings for me and it kind of came out of nowhere. He kissed me and I kissed him back, but I’d rather be kissing you.” I lowered my eyes. “It came as such a surprise when it happened and I feel awful.”

  Dain smiled that magnetic smile and pulled me closer. He leaned down to kiss me, slowly and sweetly. When he p
ulled away, I clung to the front of his shirt, wanting more. “Am I going to have to kick this guy’s ass?”

  I giggled. “No, I don’t think so. I told him to back off and I’m pretty sure he got the message.”

  Dain nuzzled my neck, a day’s worth of stubble tickling my skin. “Good,” he murmured as he kissed my bare shoulder. “The only man who should be kissing those pretty little lips of yours is me. How do you feel about that?”

  My arms went around his neck and he leaned in again, our mouths meeting feverishly. This time, his kiss was ravaging, as if he were devouring me. I moaned softly as his tongue invaded my mouth, and the taste of him flooded my senses.

  “I think,” I answered between kisses, “that I don’t want to kiss anyone but you, so that won’t be a problem.”

  “Good,” he said, punctuating it with another short kiss. “Should we make it official? I could give you my high school state championship ring, or my old letterman. Then everyone would know we’re going steady.”

  I rolled my eyes and pinched his bicep. “Smartass.”

  He sat up, rubbing the sore spot with a chuckle. “My razor sharp wit is one of my many loveable characteristics.”

  He reached for his ice cream and I did the same. The knots my guilt had made of my stomach were now untied and I leaned back against the couch with a sigh of relief. For a moment there, I thought I’d ruined everything. Yet, Dain had been more understanding about it than I’d expected and I was grateful for the reprieve. I’d found a good thing in him and I was determined not to mess it up. Now all I had to do was avoid contact with Luke at all costs. All I had to do was make sure not to run into him in the hallway or the bathroom … or the living room, kitchen, or the cafeteria.

  Oy.

  ***

  I woke up with Dain’s muscular chest against my back and a throw pillow beneath my cheek. I turned slightly to find him still sleeping, pressed against the couch cushions, his face boyishly cute. I smiled and snuggled closer to him, somewhere in that place between asleep and awake as sunlight came through the windows to sting my eyes.