Finally My Forever

by Brooke St. James

His smile was so mesmerizing that I was compelled to say, "I think I'm with the cutest guy here."

  Micah looked around as if assessing the competition.

  "I would totally be jealous of me if I were any other girl here."

  "Nobody even knows we're here together," he said, tossing his hands into the air.

  I didn't understand his comment and it made me narrow my eyes at him. "What do you mean? We've been skating together the whole time."

  "Yeah, but anybody can skate next to anybody," he said. "If we were really here together, we'd be holding hands."

  "Oh, so you're saying my options are open?" I asked, looking around.

  "I'm saying I want to hold your hand."

  My heart either stopped beating all together, or started beating so fast that I couldn't tell the difference. Remain cool. Remain cool. I casually held my hand in his direction as if it was okay with me if he took it, and that's just what he did. He laced his fingers in mine, and I might as well have been in middle school with all the butterflies that were churning in my stomach. His hand was big and warm and he rubbed his thumb on the back of my hand as if enjoying the feel of my skin. It was all I could do to remember to skate.

  "You slowed down," he said, to my horror. It was true. We had skated an entire lap at about half speed since he grabbed my hand.

  "I'm almost forgetting to skate," I said, feeling like I should just be honest.

  I glanced at him and he shot me a breathtaking smile. "Because you like holding my hand?" he asked.

  "A little bit," I said.

  "I think you might like me," he said.

  If only he knew.

  "I might," I said casually.

  "I might have to take you out again," he said.

  I smiled at him. "You might."

  We skated for over an hour, talking about anything and everything under the sun. We brought up church, and I told him I thought I might want to try to go with him sometime, but I didn't want to cramp his style. He laughed at me for saying that and told me he thought it would be weird if I went anywhere else.

  We discussed food, travel, art, movies, and random things like the fact that he had a broken arm at the age of 12 from falling out of a tree. We both agreed that we would probably be sore from using skate-related muscle groups and decided it was time to call it a night.

  It was 10:00 when he pulled up in my driveway. He put his truck in park and I turned to him with a smile. "I should probably act more aloof than this," I said, "but I'll go ahead and tell you that I had a super awesome time tonight. Seriously, thank you for being the most fun guy ever and for paying for all my stuff. I loved everything."

  He stared at me with an unreadable smile as if he was trying to figure me out even though I was putting it all out there.

  "And thank you for the Bible," I added, taking it from the console.

  "That reminds me. I have something for Roscoe."

  "You do?"

  He reached into the door pocket and pulled up a small bag of those teeth cleaning bones. "I wanted to get him the big dinosaur bone, but the lady at the pet store said he'd love these and they were good for him."

  "He does," I said. "Do you want to give it to him yourself?"

  "Now that you mention it," he said, as if he was just waiting for me to ask.

  I giggled as we both climbed out of the truck. I knew Isaac was home because his car was in the driveway, but Ryan and Trish were both gone. The door was unlocked, and Micah followed me inside. We took off our shoes and left them by the door.

  "I'll be right back," I said, going to my room to let Roscoe out of his kennel.

  "Is that you, Carly?" Isaac yelled from his room.

  "Yeah, it's me." I yelled back.

  "I just got home a few minutes ago. I was just about to let him out."

  Isaac's room was the closest to the living room, and he must've heard me come in.

  "Thanks!" I yelled back through his closed door. "I got it."

  I talked to Roscoe the whole time as I carefully placed my beautiful new Bible on the nightstand and then opened his kennel. He was extremely excited to see me as always. "You better go get your treat from Micah," I said. He didn't listen to me, though. He just stood at my feet waiting for love with his tail whipping around in circles. I patted my leg as I headed to the living room. "Come on, boy."

  Roscoe followed me out there. Micah called him over when we entered, and Roscoe ran to him and sprang onto the couch.

  "Is he allowed to be up here?" Micah asked, looking at me. I nodded, and Micah patted his lap. Roscoe was a pro at lap sitting, and he curled up on Micah's legs the instant he was invited. Micah shot me a can you believe this look that I answered with a smile.

  "He's a lover," I said, shrugging.

  "It's no wonder Thomas loves him," Micah said, petting him. "I need to get him one of these."

  I crossed the room and sat on the couch next to them, reaching over to ensure Roscoe he was okay in his current position when he thought about creeping over to me. We sat like that for a minute until Micah gave Roscoe one of the bones. He jumped down, and carried it to the kitchen where he devoured it before coming back to the couch to sit with us.

  He settled between us but was only there for a second before Isaac came out of his room and Roscoe jumped down to greet him.

  "Hey my boy," Isaac said affectionately as he stooped down to pet him. Isaac worked extremely hard on his body, and was proud of the results. He almost never wore a shirt if he could avoid it. He came into the living room wearing nothing but sweat pants that hung low on his hips, and the sight of him made Micah sit up straight.

  "Oh, hey, I didn't know you had somebody with you," Isaac said, noticing Micah for the first time as he stood.

  I patted the couch next to me and Roscoe jumped on it again. Isaac took a step toward Micah with an outstretched hand, and Micah stood to shake it.

  "Isaac, this is my friend Micah," I said. "Micah, this is my roommate, Isaac."

  They greeted each other with a firm handshake and a nod the way guys do.

  "Are you guys going to be out here for a while?" Isaac asked, trying to gauge whether or not we wanted privacy.

  I shook my head. "Micah just came in to give Roscoe some toothbrush bones. We went skating tonight… Can you believe that?"

  "I got him one of those bones the other day," Isaac said, ignoring my skating comment. "He loves them."

  "Did you hear me say we went skating?" I asked, incredulous.

  Isaac smiled at me. "Roller skating?"

  "Yes, roller skating! And we were both really good! All the kids were looking at us like whaaat?"

  He laughed and rolled his eyes at me like I was the silliest thing ever, and then he crossed to the kitchen and started searching in a cabinet for a glass. He sat at the bar and spaced out on his phone for a few minutes while Micah and I continued our conversation.

  "You wanna walk me out?" Micah asked, finally.

  "Are you leaving?"

  "Yeah, I guess I should."

  We stood and Micah looked toward the kitchen. "It was nice meeting you, Isaac," he said.

  Isaac pulled out his earbuds with a smile and wave in Micah's direction. "Nice meeting you too."

  I peered down at Roscoe, who was standing at our feet, wagging his tail as if asking where we were going. "You're staying here," I said. He obviously didn't understand because he followed us to the door and was disappointed when I shut it with him inside.

  Micah and I walked to his truck, and I turned to face him when we reached it. His expression was serious and questioning at the same time. "Is that something that happens all the time?" he asked tentatively.

  I smiled and nodded. "Oh, yeah! Basically, all you have to do is sit down and pat your lap, and he jumps up there."

  Micah closed his eyes and cringed slightly. "Please tell me you're talking about the dog," he said.

  I looked at him with a confused expression. "Who were you talking about?"

 
"You're shirtless roommate," he said, gesturing to the house. "Does he walk around like that all the time?"

  I leaned against his truck and regarded him with a sly smile. "Are you jealous?" I asked.

  He closed the distance between us, coming to stand only inches from me. He rested his arm on the truck, letting it brush against my shoulder. He stared down at me with an intense, barely-there smile as if taking in every centimeter of my face.

  "I don't even know how to answer that question," he said. "I don't know if I'd call it jealous, but the thought of you going back into that house with a half naked man makes me feel…" he hesitated, staring into the empty space next to my head and rubbing his jaw as of searching for the right word. "…Uh, crazy? Insane?"

  I thought he was mostly joking, and I laughed and squirmed, feeling delighted that he even cared enough to mention it.

  He cupped his hand under my chin, tilting it up so I'd look at him. He gave me another small smile, but shook his head and said, "I'm not kidding, Carly. The thought of you going back in there with him dressed like that makes me… not happy. Does he walk around like that all the time?"

  Chapter 18

  I flinched at the thought of how frequently Isaac walked around the house shirtless. It was literally all the time. I almost never saw him with a shirt on unless he was headed out the door.

  Micah must have sensed my hesitation because he repeated his question. "Does he walk around like that all the time?" he asked again.

  I tried to keep my face emotionless, but it was incredibly difficult. Micah was obviously annoyed by the thought, and that made me overwhelmingly happy. I wondered if he was as annoyed by Isaac as I was by the thought of him getting home cooked meals at Gina's house.

  "He just likes to show off because he works so hard at the gym," I said, carefully avoiding the question.

  Micah blew out a long, exasperated breath and shook his head, looking off to the side as if extremely irritated by the thought. I watched the muscles in his jaw and temple flex as I stared at his profile.

  "I have abs too," he said, glancing down at me, still agitated. "But you don't see me letting them all hang out."

  "You have abs?" I asked, unable to hide my amusement as I smiled up at him.

  He furrowed his eyebrows at me, and I bit my lip to keep from smiling too hard. Before I knew what was happening, he took my hand and placed it on his stomach. I could feel how solid and rigid his abs were, even with a layer of fabric between us. My breath hitched and my amused grin faded as my heart started beating out of control. He smiled at the sight of my sudden shift, and his smile only served to make me more breathless.

  "You do have abs," I said.

  "Yeah, I have abs," he said confidently, "and I work hard on them just like your roommate in there, but you don't see me walking around without a shirt all the time, do you?"

  I wanted to say I wish you would, but I held my tongue.

  "And I don't know how I feel about him being all, that's my boy with Roscoe, and giving him treats and all that."

  Another huge smile spread across my face, and I had to try to hold it back a little. Isaac, in no way shape or form, held a candle to Micah, but I couldn’t help but take pleasure in seeing him so annoyed.

  "What's so funny?" he asked, scowling at me. "How would you feel if I was going home to a half naked woman right now?"

  "I'm not going home to him," I defended. "I barely even notice him. He's just my roommate. He's seeing somebody, anyway."

  He let out a huff. "All the more reason he needs to put on a shirt," he said.

  His hand had been holding mine against his stomach as we talked, and at that point, he let them drop, but didn't let go of my hand. I was hyper aware of his touch, and nerves continually coursed through my body. He readjusted his hand to get a better grip on mine and I stared at him not knowing what to say. We stood that way for several long seconds, just checking each other out before he finally spoke again.

  "It's probably stupid for me to get so mad, but here's the way I look at it…" he hesitated, and sighed as if looking for the right words. "Okay, so way back when the accident first happened, I was pretty much a mess. I had all this guilt, resentment, doubt, and anger. I was trying to give it to God, and knew that He would use it for my good, but it was just overwhelming, you know?"

  He paused, and I nodded. A little smile touched his lips, and I clutched his hand in both of mine, feeling like I wanted to comfort him.

  "Well, during the absolute worst time," he continued, "when I was in the freaking pit of despair, God clearly spoke to me. It wasn't an audible voice, but it was one of those clear feelings where I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that it came from God. Anyway, what He told me was that someday I'd find someone who understood my pain."

  He paused with a shy smile.

  "So I held on to that, and when you told me your story, I knew that was it. I knew it was you. Getting to know you only confirms it."

  He pulled his hand out of mine and used it to tuck my hair behind my ear.

  "What I'm trying to say is that in my mind, you're mine. I know we're just getting to know each other, and I probably shouldn't have told you any of this so soon, but my brain thinks of you belonging to me. You're supposed to be mine." He gestured toward my house again. "So maybe that'll help you understand why I'm about ready to kill Fabio in there if he doesn't put a shirt on and leave my dog alone."

  His statement made me giggle. I was already feeling giddy, and his reference to Roscoe as his dog put me over the edge. I blinked up at him to find that he was smiling too.

  "I don't mean to scare you with any of that, I just thought it might explain why I—"

  "I'm not scared," I said, cutting him off.

  I gently put my hand on his cheek because I just couldn’t resist touching it any longer. My fingertips grazed the edge of his scar, and in that second, I thanked God for the pain we had both been through.

  "I'm going to kiss you now," he said.

  "Please," I whispered breathlessly.

  His mouth came down on mine with an absence of gentleness. He wasn't rough with me, but he meant this kiss. He wrapped one arm around my waist and the other around the back of my head, as he clutched me firmly to him. I opened to him, and he dipped his tongue into my mouth several times, claiming me as his own. My legs were rendered useless, and he held my limp body as he kissed me deeply.

  I let out an uncontrollable moan, which made him break the kiss. He pulled back and we stared at each other breathlessly as if wondering what had just happened.

  "I'm sorry," he said. "No, I'm not actually, but if you want me to be, I'll say I am."

  "I don't want you to be sorry," I said.

  "You want me to do it again?" he asked, challengingly.

  I nodded and he bent to kiss me again, only this time he used extreme constraint, which drove me equally as crazy. He held me by the back of the head as he placed kiss after gentle kiss on my mouth, cheek, jaw, neck, and then back up to my mouth again. I let out another small moan and he pulled back to stare down at me again.

  "Yeah, you're not gonna be able to make that sound," he said.

  "What sound?" I asked, not even realizing what I'd done. "That whimper or whatever that was. I don't think I can handle that kind of temptation."

  "I whimpered?" I asked, laughing at myself.

  "It's a good sound, baby girl," he said, squeezing me. "It's a little too good if you know what I mean."

  "I'm sorry," I said, feeling embarrassed.

  "How about neither of us be sorry," he said.

  He had just bent to kiss my cheek when headlights shone brightly on us. Micah let go of the grip he had on me, but kept his hand loosely on the back of my waist. One of my roommates was home, and a few seconds of focusing on the car after they turned the engine off told me it was Ryan.

  "Sorry!" Ryan called, getting out of his car. He approached us on his way into the house. He was just getting off work from his job waiting tables, a
nd he was sharply dressed in all black. "You think you can get out?" Ryan asked, glancing back at his own parking job.

  "Yeah, I can make it," Micah said.

  Ryan smiled at him. "Hey, man, I'm Ryan," he said, holding his hand out.

  Micah shook his hand without letting go of me. "Micah," he said, smiling.

  "It's nice to meet you," Ryan said. He glanced at me and lifted the small paper sack he was holding. "I brought a little piece of pork roast for Roscoe, can I give it to him?"

  "Only if it's little," I said. "He just had a treat. If it's too big you can give it to him tomorrow."

  "I'll break off a little bite for him tonight if you don't care."

  "That's fine. Thanks, Ryan."

  Ryan waved at Micah again who answered with a smile and a curt nod.

  "Are you kidding me?" Micah asked when Ryan made his way inside. He looked down at me with a challenging expression that made me laugh.

  "They're just my roommates," I said.

  "I thought Trish was your roommate."

  "She is."

  "Does he walk around naked too?" he asked, motioning to the door.

  I giggled. "Isaac wasn't naked."

  Micah was wearing a gorgeous, casual smile but he said, "Please understand this is not an ideal situation for me."

  "Well please understand that they're just my roommates and nothing more," I said.

  "Fair enough," he said, still wearing a little grin. "I guess I better be going."

  I wanted to ask when I'd see or talk to him again. I felt a strong urge to never be apart from him, and the thought of him leaving had me dreading the void he'd leave in his wake.

  "Don't forget to come to science class if you want to see the Coke experiment," I said, hoping to make a definite time to see him again so I could look forward to it.

  "I'll see you before then," he said.

  "Oh." I paused. "You will?"

  "I thought I'd probably see you tomorrow, but if you can't, I figured you might want to come with us to church on Sunday. I'm filling in for the praise and worship guy this week. I'll be singing during both services, so I'll be there all morning."

  "You're singing?" I asked.

  He smiled and gave me a nod. "You coming?"