No Safe Place

by Mary Head

  “I’ll be here,” he said quietly, trying to pitch his voice low so Eddie couldn’t hear, and stared intently at her, wanting her to understand what he was saying. “Okay? I’ll be here.”

  She stared back at him, her lower lip quivering as tears slid down the sides of her face to disappear into her hair, and then her fingers curled around the side of his hand. She trusted him, more than she had a right to and more than he deserved, and he hated himself that much more as he carefully pushed the needle through her jeans and into her thigh.

  It took a couple of minutes for the drugs to start to take effect, but Jackie stayed seated, unable to stand and face his brother. He kept his hand around Hannah’s, still trying to reassure her, and when her fingers had relaxed around his hand he rose to his feet, tightly clutching the now empty syringe, and turned towards Eddie.

  The older man looked at him for a minute, and then gave a derisive snort.

  “How absolutely fucking touching,” he muttered. His eyes narrowed a little and he looked as if he wanted to say more, but then he just shook his head and turned towards the stairs.

  Jackie watched him go, waiting until the door closed behind him before turning back to Hannah.

  Unconsciousness had taken her over again, and he sighed as he approached her, staring sadly down at her as he knelt and reached forward to swipe his fingers over her cheeks, brushing away the lingering tears. Then he picked up the plate with the sandwiches, knowing they wouldn’t be any good when she woke up again, though he left the cup of water within reach, and climbed the stairs out of the basement.

  After depositing the plate in the kitchen, he went in search of Eddie and found him in his bedroom.

  “What the hell was that about?” Jackie asked without preamble, glaring at his brother’s bare back. Eddie turned to face him, t-shirt clutched in his hands, and scowled as he pulled it over his head.

  “You need to stop with this bleeding heart bullshit.”

  “You didn’t need to drug her,” Jackie countered as Eddie pushed past him on the way out of the room. “You already handcuffed her to the fucking heater, what was the point in drugging her again?”

  Eddie didn’t answer and Jackie followed him down the hall to the living room.

  “You said we weren’t going to hurt her –”

  “Get over it, Jackie, okay?” Eddie finally snapped, whirling on him. “You are in this too. You agreed to this. Remember?”

  “This is not what I agreed to,” Jackie said quietly.

  Eddie stared at him but didn’t respond, and after a moment he turned away, striding towards the hall.

  “Where are you going?” Jackie asked, stepping around the couch to stare after Eddie.

  “Out back,” was the short reply, and a moment later Jackie heard one of the kitchen drawers slide open and knew Eddie was taking his cigarettes out.

  The back door opened and then slammed shut, and the house fell silent. Jackie stood for a minute, his thoughts swirling in his head until his hands clenched, and he realized he was still holding the empty syringe. He looked at it and flung it angrily to the floor, turning away and running a hand down his face.

  Chapter 31

  Juliet thanked the woman as the screen door snapped shut, then turned and sighed as she trudged down the wooden porch steps. Eli trailed behind her, hands in his pockets, looking around the neighborhood as he shuffled along the front path.

  “How’re you doing?” he asked, catching up to her as they approached the edge of the yard.

  “I should be asking you that question,” she replied, her lips twitching in a half-smile as they approached the car.

  “Yeah.” He glanced away, staring at an overturned bicycle in the yard of the house across the street, and then looked back at her. “I was just hoping –”

  “I know,” she murmured, nodding as she looked down at the keys in her hand. “If there’s one thing I’ve learned doing all of this, you shouldn’t get your hopes up too high. But yeah, I was hoping too.”

  A moment later they were inside the vehicle, Juliet behind the wheel.

  “So what now?” Eli asked, watching as she dropped the folded list of workers into the center console and started the car.

  She shrugged. “Back to the office. We’re done with our list, so we meet with the others and see if anybody else found anything.” She paused and frowned a little. “Though I suppose if they had, they’d have called us.”

  With a sigh, she raised a hand to push back the stubborn section of hair that never seemed to stay in her ponytail, and then dropped the car into gear. Eli stared out the window as they pulled away from the curb, mulling something over in his mind, and then looked over at Juliet.

  “You all seem really tight,” he finally said. When she looked vaguely confused, he added, “You and Agent Tyler and Agent Cole, the whole team.”

  “Yeah,” she replied, nodding. “Most of us have been together a long time, which is kind of rare, but I guess we’ve been lucky. Some have been around longer than others, but we’re all pretty close.”

  “Like you and Agent Cole,” he said.

  It wasn’t a question, really; it was pretty obvious they’d known each other for more than a while. She had a key to Agent Cole’s house and knew the alarm code, she moved around his space with easy familiarity, and what was most telling was how he didn’t seem to mind. He was sure they were friends, but the way she sometimes looked at him made him wonder if there was more to it.

  Juliet was quiet a moment, and Eli began to regret saying anything, but then she gave him a small smile.

  “Yeah, like me and Agent Cole.”

  “How long?”

  “Fourteen years,” Juliet replied, her smile widening.

  “Wow,” Eli murmured.

  Juliet almost laughed. “He was my instructor at the Academy, and somewhere along the way we became friends.” She paused, her eyes intent on the road in front of them, and then added softly, “Best friends, really.”

  Eli stared at her, watching the movement of her eyes, the small crease in her brow, and knew instantly that his suspicions were correct, that it went much deeper than friends, at least for her. He wondered how Hannah fit into things, but before he could ask, Juliet took a deep breath and just started talking.

  “Hannah was ten when I met her. David brought her to graduation, and she made him introduce her to everyone in my class.” They stopped at a traffic light, and she looked wistfully out the driver’s side window, absently brushing her fingers over her hair. “She was wearing this little pink dress, her hair in braids, and she was just so sweet and well-mannered. Her shoes were those little pink and white – what do they call them? – saddle shoes, and she was so concerned about getting them dirty. I remember David picking her up by her hands at one point and swinging her over a mud puddle, and his smile, and the way she giggled. . .”

  Juliet trailed off, and then laughed as she shook her head. “So strange the things you remember.”

  Eli smiled, recalling the pictures in David’s living room. “They seem very close.”

  Juliet nodded. “They are. It’s been just the two of them since – since Karen left. I mean, David dated other women after her, but none of them –” She pressed her lips together, frowning slightly. “It always came back to just David and Han.”

  Eli didn’t know what to say, so he turned his gaze out the window once again.

  The light changed, and they turned, heading towards the beltway that would take them back into D.C. He kept stealing glances at Juliet and shifting uncomfortably in his seat. He had this strange desire to keep asking questions, this need to know everything about Hannah Cole which he couldn’t explain. The short amount of time they’d spent talking the day they met felt so significant, perhaps more so since she’d been taken, and though he knew it would sound silly to say it out loud, he hated the thought that it might be the only time he’d ever spend with her.

  “She adores him,” Juliet said. Eli looked over at
her and she gave him a quick glance.

  “And he would just – he would die for her.” She paused. “You hear people say that, but you don’t know if they really mean it, you know? But it’s true with David. He would do anything for her.”

  Eli nodded again, not the least bit surprised by this after what he had seen so far. “What about you?” he asked. “I mean, are you and Hannah close?”

  Juliet smiled. “She’s like the little sister I never had. I met her right when she was at that age, that time in every girl’s life when she needs a mother or a big sister.” Her smile became a grin as several memories sprang to mind, and she continued, “As close as she and David are, there are things girls just don’t want to talk to their dads about.”

  “And she came to you?” Eli asked, smiling.

  Juliet shook her head. “David asked for my help, but more importantly, she let me help. And that was it.”

  Her voice was a little wistful and sad, and he could feel the insistent need to find Hannah growing stronger, if only for these people who loved her so much.

  “What about you?” Juliet asked, turning his questions on him.

  He looked at her, confused. “What about me?”

  “What’s your story? You’re along for the ride so you must’ve met her at some point.”

  A short, humorless laugh escaped him. “Yeah, I did, actually, the day she was taken.”

  Juliet’s smile dimmed, and Eli shook his head.

  “We talked a bit, and sort of made plans for this weekend. Nothing concrete, just ‘hey, do you want to hang out this weekend,’ and exchanged numbers.” He paused, his brow creasing as he looked down at his lap, and then added softly, “I almost called her that night.”

  There was another pause, and then he shook his head again.

  “I liked – like her,” he murmured, realizing how absurd that must sound, but not caring. It was obvious that Juliet understood how it was possible. Hannah Cole was just that kind of person. “And it was just the one time.”

  Juliet nodded as she took a shaky, shallow breath, willing the tears to hold off until she was home, or at least until they were back at the Bureau and she could hide in her office for a bit.

  “That’s all it takes with Hannah.”

  Seeing how deep Eli’s feelings went, even after just a couple of brief meetings, made the tightness in her throat increase. The fear that they wouldn’t find Hannah, or even worse, would find her dead, was swelling within her again, and here was Eli, barely at the Bureau a week, so deeply involved in this investigation he was breaking rules by working with David. It wasn’t because he was trying to make a name for himself, or get David to notice him. It was because after spending just a little while with Hannah, he wanted to find her just as badly as the rest of them did.

  It was clear that Eli had a little crush on her, and after seeing what Hannah went through with Seth, Juliet desperately wanted Hannah to find somebody who would treat her the way she deserved to be treated. Maybe when all of this was over, Eli could be that somebody, David’s “my daughter will never date an agent” rule be damned.

  Chapter 32

  David sighed when the doorbell rang again, wondering who it could be this time as he pushed up off the couch and shuffled to the door. He knew Juliet would have just used her key, and while Isabelle’s visit had been nice, he wasn’t in the mood for more company.

  A quick glance through the peephole made him frown, and he hesitated before pulling open the door.

  “Karen,” he said, shocked and confused at the same time. After she had showed up unwanted and unannounced Thursday night, he’d assumed she would just head back to New York to stay. “What – what are you doing here?”

  Karen raised her eyebrows and moved to step into the house, coming up short when she realized David wasn’t moving out of the doorway. “You didn’t really believe I was going to go back to New York while Hannah was missing, did you?”

  David’s frown deepened and he let go of the door handle, folding his arms over his chest. “Well, that’s been your M.O. in every other crisis.”

  Karen rolled her eyes. “Well, fuck you very much.”

  David sighed heavily and ran a hand through his hair. “Karen, what do you want?” She gave him a look, and his eyes narrowed. “Honestly.”

  “Honestly?” she asked. She turned her head, looking down the street and exhaled, and then looked back at him, her expression softer. “I went back to my condo in Manhattan, packed a bag, told Jeffery I needed a few days off, and now I’m here. And I’m not leaving until Hannah is found.”

  The conviction in her voice surprised him, and he regarded her cautiously. Karen had always been a master manipulator, but something about the look in her eyes made him believe her.

  “You’re not staying here,” he said finally.

  Karen laughed softly. “No, I’m not. I have a room at the Hilton.”

  David nodded. “Good. You can leave me the number, and I’ll call you when we know something.”

  He started to move back into the house, swinging the door shut, but she put out her hand and caught it midway.

  “David,” she said, pushing on the door until he opened it again. Her tone was admonishing as it usually was when she was annoyed with him, like she was about to scold a child.

  “Karen,” he replied, making his voice as patronizing as possible.

  “Can I come in?” she asked, with a small impatient huff.

  There was a moment’s pause before he asked, “Why?”

  “To talk?” she answered with a hint of a laugh before she sighed and tilted her head, giving him a sympathetic look. “You shouldn’t be alone right now.”

  He exhaled and glanced up at the porch ceiling, and Karen reached out a hand, trailing her fingers down his arm. His eyes flicked back to her face and he watched her bite her lip, something she only did when she was trying to keep her emotions in check. When she looked away again, he caught the faintest shine of tears in her eyes, and felt another flash of surprise. Even when they were married, it had been rare for her to express this much outward emotion, and he knew it meant she was in turmoil on the inside.

  “Come on, David,” she said with a shaky smile as she wrapped her arms around her torso. “We have a daughter, and she’s mi – missing, and –” She swiped at her nose and gave a tiny shake of her head as she met his eyes. “Can’t we just – just talk?”

  As much animosity as he still carried towards her, he knew it had taken a lot for her to come all the way back here after he had told her to leave. He realized that they were both pretty good at putting up fronts and pretending to be strong; it was maybe the one thing that made them last as long as they did.

  “We don’t talk, Karen,” David replied. His lips twitched, and the corner of his mouth curved slightly. “Scream, yell, curse; those things we do, but not talking.”

  Karen pressed her lips together and dipped her head, meeting his eyes again a second later. “Well, we used to do a lot more than that.”

  He gave a short laugh, though he didn’t know why that should be so funny. Somehow, in that moment, it was easier to remember the better parts of their relationship than the shouting matches and harsh cutting words. He stepped back, opening the door a little more.

  “Yeah, well,” he shrugged. “Different time.”

  She nodded, her expression amused even without a smile. “Different people.”

  He nodded too and moved aside, sighing as he held the door open for her. “Fine. You want a beer?”

  “Yeah.”

  They moved into the kitchen, where he tugged open the refrigerator and grabbed two bottles from the back, setting them on the counter. He used his t-shirt to cover the caps and twist them off, then picked them up again and extended one to her. She took it, and he watched her take a sip, clearly unsure of what to expect, and abruptly remembered what he used to drink when they were together, something heavier and bitter. A lot of things were heavy and bitter back then, h
e couldn’t help thinking.

  They made their way to the back door and out onto the deck, settling on the wide steps and looking out into the backyard. To the left, the lawn curved along a flower bed where the green shoots of daffodils were just starting to poke through. The tulips and lilies would be next, just in time for the cherry blossoms, and the ache in David’s chest grew. Five years ago, Hannah had spent her entire spring break planting all the right flowers so there would be bright sprays of color from early spring into fall. She was even trying to talk him into adding a cherry tree to the south corner, so they would have their own blossoms to enjoy. As he thought about the trees downtown, thought about the pretty new dress in Hannah’s closet, thought about his and Hannah’s upcoming plans for whenever the blossoms reached their peak bloom, he regretted that he hadn’t given in already. It was one of his favorite things to do with her, and his heart clenched in his chest as he raised his beer bottle abruptly to his lips, throwing back a swallow.

  Beside him, Karen sighed and sipped carefully at her beer, stretching her legs out in front of her and crossing them at the ankles. The yard had changed significantly in the years since she’d last seen it. The deck was larger and surrounded by lattice and flower beds, and the shrubs along the fence were different.

  “It looks nice,” she murmured. “Peaceful.”

  “Yeah,” David agreed. He wasn’t really in the mood for conversation, least of all a conversation with his ex-wife. He kept wondering where Juliet might be, and hoped she would show up soon. “Han, she, uh –” He paused and took a breath, eyes wandering along the slow curve of bricks laid against the edge of the beds. “She did most of it. The plants, I mean. She loves flowers.”

  “I know,” Karen said softly, turning her head to look at David. He kept his eyes fixed on the corner of the yard where the beds bent around a tall oak tree before following the fence the rest of the way around the yard. He abruptly remembered Karen sitting in a lawn chair, a very young Hannah in her lap, watching him dig the holes for the posts that would later support a deck.