Healing the Doctor's Heart

by Shirley Hailstock

  “How long are you going to be here?”

  “A couple of days. I fly back right after the conference on Friday.”

  “I see you have your suitcase. You’re staying here, I assume.”

  “Just for tonight. The conference is in Philly. I thought maybe you and I could have dinner.”

  “Fine.”

  Jake was sure his brother didn’t think he was willing to be seen in public. Cal had hired Lauren, but at the time he had no idea how persuasive she could be. And Jake was no longer conscious of people staring at him. In fact, a lot of it had been in his mind. This was New York. No one cared what he looked like. Lauren and her costumes had been proof positive of that.

  * * *

  PINS AND NEEDLES pricked Lauren’s skin after the two brothers left for the night. She hoped Caleb wouldn’t slip and say something to Jake that would show her hand. She was restless, unable to focus on anything. She walked around the apartment, picking up a book and putting it down. She went through the hundred channels on the television, but found nothing to watch.

  Finally, she called Amy. It was her late night to work. Lauren agreed to meet her at her office and they would go for a drink afterward. She got there half an hour early. The place was packed with people. No way was the office going to close on time.

  Lauren waited ten minutes before she had to move.

  “Amy, can I help?”

  Amy looked confused. “Dr.—”

  “I won’t do any medicine, although my license is still valid. I’ll help with triage and vitals.”

  “Let me check.”

  Amy went away and came back almost instantly. She nodded at Lauren and handed her a white coat. “Use room two.”

  It felt good to be a doctor again, to work with children, to watch the faces of parents who were happy to find out their child’s hurt was simple to relieve. Lauren didn’t overstep her boundaries. She checked for fevers and asked questions of the parents and children, some of whom were familiar to her. Then she passed the information on to the doctors. Traffic moved smoothly through the rooms.

  With Lauren helping out, Amy wasn’t as stressed being on the front line of parents with sick children. The parents also lost some of the stress of waiting. It took a little more than an hour and forty minutes before the last patient was out the door.

  “Thank you,” Amy said as she locked the door and turned the outside light off.

  “Is it always like this on your late night?”

  She nodded. “Most nights it’s busy, but on the late night, the place is standing room only.”

  The doctors from the group came out to thank Lauren. Her feeling of usefulness overflowed.

  “I was happy to do it,” she said. “Although there were times when I wanted to go the full route of diagnosis and treatment. It was hard to stop at triage.”

  “You could consider coming back,” Amy said.

  Silence filled the room as if a sudden odor had been released. They all knew the story of Lauren’s daughter.

  “Not yet,” Lauren said.

  “Well,” one of the doctors said, “if you want to think about it, I’m sure we’d be open to some negotiations.”

  “You may only need another nurse,” Lauren offered. “That’s the role I played tonight.”

  She knew she couldn’t commit to working in the office. Not on a full-time or even a part-time basis. That place, that practice was her past, and she was all about her future. She’d made some big strides and didn’t want to risk falling backward. That didn’t mean she wouldn’t plan to begin her medical career somewhere else.

  Tonight had shown Lauren that she really loved medicine and that she had to return to it. When Jake was on his feet and she’d decided where she wanted to settle, she’d be quick to find a medical practice to join.

  It took another half hour to clean up everything, but finally she and Amy were on their way for that drink.

  “Things must be really bad if you need a drink,” Amy said when they were seated at the bar and the bartender had set a piña colada in front of her. Amy ordered a nonalcoholic version of the same.

  “I have to work tomorrow,” Amy explained.

  It might be a workday tomorrow, but the restaurant was packed. Nearly all the tables and bar stools were occupied on a night when there was no major sports game.

  “Jake’s brother showed up unexpectedly today.”

  Amy stopped with the glass halfway to her mouth. “The brother who hired you?”

  “The same.” Lauren nodded.

  “Where are they?”

  “Out to dinner and they might be talking about me. I’m afraid Caleb might forget that Jake doesn’t know I’m a doctor. He also doesn’t know that I regularly report to Caleb on his progress.”

  “He can’t be angry if he finds out. Look how much you’ve helped him.”

  “I know, but he’s a very stubborn man. I don’t want him to crawl back into himself if he discovers both Caleb and I have hidden secrets from him.”

  “Like I said, you need to tell him the truth.” Amy repeated a statement she’d made more than once.

  The bartender put a plate of wings in front of them. Amy hadn’t eaten since lunch and had ordered food. As soon as Lauren saw it, she was incredibly hungry. Together, they shared the wings and ordered more drinks.

  “You can’t do anything about it except worry, and that will do you no good. How long is Caleb staying?”

  “Just tonight.”

  “That’s a plus,” she said. “Less time for them to talk. And if I were you, I’d try to stay out of their company when it’s the two of them.”

  Amy was right. The two stayed out until eleven when Amy said she had to go home. “Tomorrow will arrive earlier than I want it to.”

  They left the bar, hugged good-night and each took a taxi. Lauren’s head was reeling when she stepped out of the car. Her eyes didn’t want to remain open. The combination of the drinks and her worry had made her extremely tired. She got in the elevator and turned to push the button for the top floor. The doors began to close. Suddenly a hand appeared and the doors opened.

  Jake and Caleb stood there.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  LAUREN HAD THE overwhelming need to laugh. She’d been trying to avoid these two men and here she was in an elevator with them. She grinned slightly, trying not to burst into full-fledged hysterics. The ride seemed endless and Lauren couldn’t hold the mirth back. She snorted. Both men looked at her.

  “Are you all right?” Jake asked.

  She said yes, but her head was shaking no.

  “Lauren?” Caleb stepped closer, looking concerned.

  Lauren held her breath, willing the elevator to get to the top floor. The building had only ten stories. She couldn’t help it. She started to giggle.

  “Lauren, have you been drinking?” Jake asked.

  Lauren burst out laughing. The elevator doors opened and she bolted from them, hurrying down a hallway that was moving side to side. Miraculously, her key fit on the first try. Not waiting for the men behind her, she entered the apartment and, as fast as she could, started up the stairs to the bedroom level. The stairs seemed to work like an escalator that was going the wrong way. Each step up felt like two more down.

  She heard the door open behind her as she grasped the handrail and pulled herself up. Lauren had to stand still a moment while the room stopped reeling. How much had she drunk? She couldn’t remember if it was three or four cocktails. Suddenly, the image of the hallway veered one way and then the other, before it melded into one and she got to her room and closed the door. She switched the lock and collapsed onto the bed.

  When she woke, it was still dark, but the illuminated numbers on the clock read five forty. She was still in her clothes and shoes and lying across the bedcovers. She pushed herself up and gra
bbed her head. It throbbed as if a jackhammer was inside. Closing her eyes, she waited several seconds, hoping the pain would ease. Her mouth felt like it was full of sand.

  Had she ever felt this bad? Why hadn’t Amy stopped those drinks from coming? Lauren slid off the bed. She needed to talk to Caleb before he left.

  And without Jake.

  Taking a moment to clean her teeth, she poked her head out of her room and checked for the two brothers. Neither one was in the visible space on the first floor. Lauren tiptoed down the steps and left the apartment. She went to the first floor and waited by the elevators. Caleb had to come down soon. She knew he was leaving early. She hoped when he appeared he’d be alone.

  Lauren didn’t have to wait long. Caleb exited the elevator with his suitcase in his hand.

  “Caleb,” she called, her voice a stage whisper.

  He turned to face her. “Lauren, what are you doing here?” His smile was wide. “I hope you’re feeling better.”

  “Not much,” she said. “I wanted to ask you about Jake.”

  “Jake is so much better than when I left. You’re doing a wonderful job. Jake’s even gained some of his weight back and he’s happier than I’ve seen him since the accident.”

  Lauren was relieved. “You didn’t tell him that I’m a doctor?”

  “It never came up.”

  “I want to tell him,” she said.

  “That’s up to you.”

  Caleb didn’t offer any other opinion. Lauren had reservations. She and Jake were doing well as friends and she valued that. She felt she could talk to him about anything, except who she really was. And he talked to her too. He’d told her about his life, his fiancée, the explosion.

  “I have to go now,” Caleb said.

  A car appeared outside the door.

  “Enjoy your conference,” she said.

  “Thanks and don’t look so worried. Jake likes you. You’re good for him.”

  With that he went through the door. Lauren watched him get in the car. A woman was driving. The car pulled through the arched portico and she couldn’t see which way it turned. For the moment, she felt safe. Jake didn’t know who she was. He might ask her about her actions of the night before. Lauren wasn’t sure she could explain it. At least not in a coherent manner.

  It was ironic that the two people she was trying to avoid had caught her as if she was sneaking in from a clandestine meeting. She couldn’t help the giggle that bubbled up inside her. She wondered what Jake thought of her after seeing her in the elevator. What would he ask her when he showed up for breakfast?

  Lauren couldn’t go back to sleep. And Jake didn’t come down for breakfast at the usual time. He’d had a long night out, as had she, but he didn’t have as many piña coladas. By the time he started down the stairs, Lauren had been pacing for nearly an hour. Her headache was no better than it had been when she got out of bed.

  Jake passed her without a word. He went into the kitchen. Lauren felt as if he was angry with her. She had to explain, although she didn’t know what to say. She shouldn’t have drunk all that alcohol. She ordered the drinks because they tasted good and she’d been more concerned about Jake and Caleb’s possible discussions than the number of glasses put in front of her.

  The kitchen door opened and Jake came back in. Lauren’s heart accelerated and she nearly jumped at his appearance.

  “Drink this?” he said, holding a glass with a red liquid in it.

  “What is it?”

  “It’s for your hangover.”

  She didn’t ask if it was obvious that she had one. She knew her face showed the pain that was in her head. She drank the liquid. It didn’t taste bad. It had a lot of tomato juice in it.

  “Will this help?” she asked.

  “Probably not. The best thing you could do is go back to bed.”

  She sat down. “Sleep it off.”

  “Essentially, yes,” Jake said.

  Sleep sounded like a good idea. Before Jake came down, she’d been too fidgety to sleep, but now she suddenly craved it. But Lauren couldn’t go just yet. She needed to explain her actions.

  “Jake, I apologize. I never intended—”

  “Stop,” he said, raising his hand. “Your time is your time. You have the right to do whatever you want when you’re not working.”

  “But your brother was here and—”

  “And he didn’t judge you either. In fact, he thought you were a little funny.”

  “Funny,” Lauren objected, then held her head. “I think I will get some rest.”

  * * *

  LAUREN DIDN’T GO to sleep immediately. She had something important to do and even with a headache she could get it done only when Jake was not around or she’d gone to her room for the night.

  She looked with pride at the finished pop-up book. The first one she’d done all those years ago took her hours to complete and was very basic. Amateurish was a better word. It was only a single page with a tree that stood up when it was opened. It looked like a three-year-old made it with globs of glue, construction paper that was too thick and double-stick tape that was too weak to hold. Yet Lauren kept it to remind her how far she’d come.

  Her second effort wasn’t much better, but it took only an hour to make. Thankfully, she’d progressed over the years and her collection now had very complicated designs.

  Like him, the book she’d been making for Jake’s birthday present was very complex. Lauren spent two weeks to cut the paper shapes, write the text and put the book together using the supplies she’d purchased in DC. Now if she could just pull off the party without his knowledge.

  After she’d gotten the last piece in place and the story was done, Lauren succumbed to her headache and went to sleep. She woke without remembering if she dreamed anything. She was thirsty and hungry and thankfully her headache was gone.

  Jake wasn’t in the apartment when she went to the kitchen. She drank an entire bottle of water in only a few swallows. Then she took a second bottle and headed out. She wondered where he was. Although she was no longer concerned about his health or him being in pain, it was rare for him to leave without telling her where he was going.

  However, she used the time efficiently. His birthday was tomorrow and she had a few details to put in place. She hoped he’d be happy with what she’d made for him.

  With Jake, she was still on pins and needles as to what his reaction would be. This had to be positive. It had to go well.

  * * *

  LAUREN WAS USUALLY up before Jake came down to breakfast. Finally the day had arrived. Jake hadn’t mentioned a thing about his birthday. Still she had it covered. She enjoyed celebrating her birthday. She didn’t know how Jake felt about his. If it hadn’t been for Caleb mentioning it, Lauren was sure Jake would have let it go by unnoticed. But he was getting a party anyway.

  She’d invited two of the doctors he consulted with and Amy. Inevitably, the conversation would be medical. But hopefully they’d have stories to share and lots of other things to talk about.

  Lauren was amazed she’d managed to keep the party a secret. She’d shared her plans with the housekeeper, who was on board from the beginning. She took care of all the food, while Lauren invited the guests and finished her present.

  As Jake went to take a shower, believing they were going out to dinner, Lauren decorated the table with a centerpiece of birthday cards, flowers and candles.

  The guests arrived on time.

  “Surprise!” they shouted when Jake stepped into the upstairs hall.

  Lauren felt his eyes connect with hers. For a moment, she held her breath. Then Jake smiled.

  “Wow!” Amy said close to Lauren’s ear. “He’s gorgeous.”

  Lauren shot her a stop-that look.

  “What’s this?” Jake asked.

  “Happy birthday,” Dr. Chase sa
id.

  Jake looked at Lauren. “How’d you know it was my birthday?”

  “The internet,” she said. “You’ve got a bio out there.”

  Jake turned to the group. He glanced at the table settings. “I guess we aren’t going out to dinner.”

  Everyone laughed. Lauren introduced Amy as a colleague whom she used to work with. Everyone else knew each other.

  Lauren and the housekeeper served drinks while Jake and the doctors mingled. As predicted, they immediately started tossing round medical terminology. Lauren again reminded herself not to reveal that she had any medical knowledge. Jake put his arm out and she moved toward him. He didn’t embrace her.

  “Why don’t we sit down?”

  As the group moved to the table, the lobby phone rang. It was rare for that to happen. Since she’d been there, that phone had never rung. Lauren was closest to it and she picked up the receiver. “Hello?”

  “Dr. Masters has a guest in the lobby. But she is not on the list.”

  “Who is it?” Lauren asked.

  “Dr. Ingraham. Dr. Paula Ingraham.”

  Lauren froze when she heard Paula’s voice in the background repeating her name. What was she doing here? She had not been invited.

  “It’s his birthday. I only want to deliver his present.”

  She was talking to the concierge. Lauren could hear the muffled sound, but the words were clear as if she was shouting in order to be heard through the receiver.

  “Have her come up,” Lauren said.

  “Who is it?” Jake whispered.

  “Dr. Ingram.”

  “You invited her?”

  Lauren shook her head.

  The doorbell rang a moment later. Jake answered it and she swept into the room like a sudden wind. She went straight into Jake’s arms and kissed his cheek. She would have kissed his lips, but he turned his head at the same moment and she missed.

  “Paula, this is a surprise,” Jake said.

  “Happy birthday. I had to bring this by. I knew you’d want it.”

  Looking past him and into the room, she saw the gathering. “Oh, you’re having a party.”