“Prove that the nonsense you just spouted is nonsense?” Eller’s face took on a similar shade of red. “That’s just more nonsense!”
“Logically, if you can’t prove me wrong, then I’m right,” Louise countered with a smug look, but Eller just laughed in her face.
“Oh no, you can’t use that tired argument any more than them other religious types can.”
“No? How about this one? Prove to me that what you know to be true cannot be proven as false by anyone else?”
“Oh you did not-” Eller began, but Louise just steamrollered over him.
“I did and I can because what you have failed to take into consideration is that your unwavering lack of faith isn’t based on concrete proof of anything as much as it’s based on the absence of proof of my theological beliefs.”
“Well of course only an uneducated fool would try to bring religion into an argument over logic...”
The conversation went on in this manner for another solid five minutes at least. Even though I’d turned my receptors all the way down, I was beginning to get a nasty headache from the swell of emotions rolling off the two of them. “Turn down,” I said to Nai, whose green shade indicated that her head was just as likely imploding as well. Given that she could feel everything I could, it probably was.
“Well I’ll be damned,” Desmond said under his breath. “She’s not insane after all.”
“Huh?” I asked irritably. My head was now throbbing.
As their argument continued, going absolutely nowhere, the magical energy in the room began to rise.
“She’s arguing him into a no-win situation,” Desmond explained. “An illogical paradox.”
“Paradox?” And suddenly, I understood what Desmond was talking about and why Louise had been spending her time arguing online. She’d been training to argue points that were so illogical that logically, they could neither be won nor lost. In rising to the bait, Eller was creating his own paradox. He no longer needed the rift.
“Okay, I get it,” I said slowly, “but how long will this hold? Won’t the magic weaken as soon as they stop trying to prove each other wrong?”
“You obviously don’t spend time on the internet,” Nai said with a smirk. “I’m actually impressed. Maybe. There’s still the possibility that Louise is just so dumb she got lucky.”
“Hey, have a little respect,” Betty snapped with a dirty look, shocking me. I didn’t think there was much that could upset her, but apparently, insulting family in her presence was going too far.
“I’m still not sure I get how it works,” I said, watching in fascination as the magic formed something of a glowing cage around Eller.
“As long as Eller can’t definitively prove Louise wrong, her absurd theory, while logically wrong, is technically correct,” Desmond explained. “He’ll never be able to resolve it. All he can do is try not to think about it, but it won’t matter, the paradox will remain with him whether he’s actively considering it or not.”
“Are you trying to make my headache worse?” I groaned as I tried to wrap my head around what Desmond just said.
“Eller can now continue to keep the djinn from taking over Blackbird without being bound to the rift,” he explained. “Louise created a personal paradox. He’s free.”
“I get that,” I said. “I just don’t… You know what? Never mind.” I still didn’t understand how it worked, but if it worked, that was enough for me. “Um… That is great, isn’t it?” I asked, noting that Desmond’s grim expression didn’t seem at all optimistic to me.
“Eh… It would be…However…” he cleared his throat and cast a nervous glance into his trans-cyclical pocket. “We now have an open rift and three women who are not immune to its draw.”
“I thought you said you had a containment unit coming?” I asked, rather shocked. It was not like Desmond to be unprepared in the event of a potential magical disaster.
“I do, but Seth, we just got here and we’re not even halfway through the banishments. They weren’t scheduled to be here for another two hours. Arkady’s trying to reach them now, but he’s not getting a response.”
“That’s not… Is there anything we can do?” I asked. “Can Arkady get us the tools to close or at least contain the rift?”
“Not unless you start believing in miracles,” he muttered. “We need to get them out of here. Let’s try to get-”
“Maybe I can do it.”
Both Desmond and I froze at the sound of Jem’s voice.
“N-n-no,” I stammered. “That’s definitely a bad…”
There was a loud plink and suddenly Howie was hovering next to Jem with a wide smile that was highly inappropriate given the situation.
“…idea.”
Chapter 12
Split Decisions
If I thought running away to join the circus was an option, I would have taken it. Okay, probably not the circus because that was pretty weak. Maybe a touring rock festival or something. All I was getting at was that I needed to put some distance between me and everyone here. I just needed some time alone where I wasn’t under the constant scrutiny of Seth, Desmond, and my sister, so I could find a way to get myself out of the stupid mess I was in.
It wasn’t fair. I never asked to be a freaking Discordant magnet. And even though I technically did ask to be more like Nai, the change in my personality didn’t excuse the way everyone was acting around me. You would have thought I was worse than Satan or something. They weren’t half as mean to Nai and she was a mega-bitch.
She totally started the fight that got us kicked out of school too. All I had done was make the mistake of hanging out in what she considered to be her hideout. Like there weren’t other places she could go if she wanted to skip class. I wanted the stairwell because there was a huge window that overlooked the field where the girl’s gym class was playing soccer and there was a lot of jiggling going on. But no, Nai couldn’t just man up and find her own hideout, she had to get up in my face and draw the attention of the hall monitors.
The only good thing that came out of the deal was a week’s suspension. I thought that was pretty stupid on the part of the school administrators. I mean, technically we were suspended for fighting, but it wasn’t like either one of us wanted to be there anyway, so their punishment was really just doing us a favor.
* * *
“What are you mumbling about?”
“What does it matter to you?”
I was sitting in the kitchen, looking over my notes and eating some leftover pizza when Nai came in. Desmond thought the best way to keep us out of his hair and away from each other was to give us something to work on. Of course, this only worked when Nai was up in her room, not wandering in and out of the kitchen, which she did all the freaking time.
Des had me researching spells that could be used to strengthen the barrier between Order and Chaos. I’d found one, but it sounded a bit complex. I had been trying to sound out the incantation to make sure there were no tricks when Nai came wandering in again.
“It matters because it sounds like a spell. I don’t want the house coming down on us because you did something stupid and said the wrong word.”
“Whatever,” I rolled my eyes. “Like you would even know what the right words are. And why are you down here again?”
Really. Nai had the whole attic, which was not fair. There was no reason for her to be bugging me.
“It’s lunch time,” she said. “I’m allowed to eat.”
“You are? You sure that’s a good idea?”
“Screw you, Jem,” she hissed and stole one of the slices of pizza right off my plate. “Eventually you’re going to get your own personality back. And I’m not even going to feel bad about making you feel bad about all of this.”
“Whatever. You wish,” I said, laughing as Nai flinched at the “W” word.
“That is not even funny, Jem,” she hissed, and stomped down the stairs to Desmond’s lair.
Oh but it was funny. To m
e at least. As long as I wasn’t saying I wish, I was golden. It freaked out Nai and I could tell that Seth and Desmond didn’t like it either, but they couldn’t say anything because it beat the alternative, and they totally knew it. I had to be careful. There were plenty of things I wanted to wish for, but I wasn’t stupid. I knew there was a price to pay and I wasn’t interested in doing anything to get myself killed before I’d even had a chance to lose my vir-
“Everything okay up here?”
I hadn’t heard Desmond come up the stairs. He probably didn’t even use the stairs. That was another thing that was unfair.
“It is now that Nai’s gone,” I muttered. “That is, if she’s actually gone and not spying on me.” What was even more unfair than the fact that Des could sneak around outside the Cycle was the fact that Nai could too and I couldn’t.
“She’s not,” he assured me. “But since we’re on the subject… I do not know how much longer you are going to be burdened with a personality that is not yours, but I must ask that you be mindful of your attitude.”
“Why?” I asked, wondering what crap Nai had stirred up. “Nai gets a pass for being a bitch, but I have to be mindful of my attitude?”
“Your sister gets no such pass,” Desmond said sharply. “In fact, the very first words we had entailed me telling her that I would not allow her to use the darkness in her soul as an excuse for inexcusable behavior. Admittedly, she tests the boundaries of my patience on a daily basis, but I do not let her run amok unchecked and I’ll not let you either.”
“Whatever,” I muttered. “I’ll be a good boy and not bring about Armageddon.”
“I appreciate that,” Desmond said, but his expression told me to can the sarcasm. “What have you been working on?”
“Just this.” I slid my notebook across the table with a little more force than was necessary, but Des caught it before it fell off the edge.
“And what is this?” he asked, eyeing the lines I had copied.
“A spell,” I said, though that wouldn’t have been necessary if Des had just read the damn thing. “From what I read, it’s only temporary, but it’s the best I’ve found.”
He read the lines and frowned. “Hm. It might work. May I?” he asked, indicating that he wanted to tear the page out of the notebook.
“Whatever,” I said and he stuffed it into his jacket pocket, muttering something about odds and simulations. “If you can get something from your pocket buddy that will patch the crack, I can do this myself.”
“As much as I appreciate your enthusiasm, I’m afraid I can’t let you do that. It’s too dangerous.”
“What?” Okay, now I was just pissed. “I found the spell! And you need me because you need someone with Discordant magic and Order magic! I have both.”
“Donna has Discordant magic and she’s a witch who is not in danger of having her soul destroyed to further the cause for Chaos.”
“Of course,” I huffed, rolling my eyes and getting up. “You know that Nai and me are only not adults on a technicality, right?”
“It doesn’t matter, Jem, and this is not up for debate. Where do you think you are going?” Desmond cut off when he noticed I’d grabbed my coat and my backpack.
“Out,” I said. “I’ve been stuck inside all day. I need to stretch my legs.”
“You have been suspended from school. The terms of your suspension include that you are to remain at home and not out on the streets.”
“Oh? But it’s okay for Nai because she has the ability to slip out of the Cycle?”
“That’s not…” Desmond started to argue, but realized he didn’t have a leg to stand on. “Very well. But I do not want to hear about you getting picked up by truancy officers, so please be careful.”
“Fine,” I sighed and slammed the back door behind me.
I stomped down to the end of the block and stopped. I’d been heading for Louie’s, but there was always a truancy officer posted there. Instead, I headed across the park and into the alley that led to downtown. I wasn’t sure where I was going, but I couldn’t stick around the house any longer. I stopped behind the Five Penny and looked up at the windows on the second floor. I briefly wondered if Howie was driving Bogie nuts yet when there was a plink and he appeared at my side.
“Something I can help you with, boss?”
“I didn’t make a wish,” I snapped.
“Not yet,” he said with a shrug. “But you was doing a lot of thinking and I just wanted to be here in case you needed me.”
“That’s exactly what I don’t need,” I said sharply. “I need to find a way to get you out of my life without turning into a portal or slave to Chaos or something equally unpleasant. Can you do that, Howie?”
“You know I can’t,” he said without even trying to hide his excitement over the fact that I was getting flustered and might screw up. But I wasn’t going to screw up. Instead, I had a thought and headed to the public library. I wasn’t even worried about being seen because it was actually one of the only places I was allowed to go under the terms of my suspension. Howie, on the other hand, was going to be a problem.
“Nobody can see me but you,” he said before I even opened my mouth to send him away.
“I told you not to read my mind!”
“And I told you I ain’t got a choice,” he shot back, looking up at the crumbling lions that flanked the doors. They were supposed to make the place look fancy, I guess, but they were old and cracked and just made it look like a haunted house. “Look, I just figured I’d let you know if you need me, but uh, if you need your space, that’s good too. Libraries ain’t my thing.”
“Well in that case, you’re coming with me.”
If I had to suffer, at least I could make somebody else suffer with me. I went inside and made my way to the section with books on myths and legends. This had always been way more Nai’s thing than mine, but now the idea of reading through some of the folktales seemed kind of interesting. After scanning the shelves, I pulled down a few of the older volumes of fairytales and flipped through until I found what I was looking for. As I finished the first tale and flipped through the book to find another, Howie caught on to what I was looking for.
“You know those is just stories, kid,” he said, rolling his eyes at me.
“Yeah, duh, I figured that one out when I was little, genius,” I said and shot him a sarcastic look. “But you know that most of these are cautionary tales that have a grain of truth to them.”
“So?”
“So, what that means is that there’s a ton of stories of people outsmarting tricksters and I’m going to find one to outsmart you.”
“Good luck with that, pal.” His tone might have been flippant, but the flash of doubt was enough to make me think I might have been on to something. Though after several hours of research, all I had was an intolerance for the musty smell of old books.
* * *
By the end of the week, my bad mood had gotten worse. I hadn’t figured out any way to outsmart Howie and break the bond between us. On top of all of that, Nai and Bogie had some stupid plan to get rid of the djinn by bringing a Big Royal Burger to Blackbird. As much as I missed their Chunky Chicken wraps, everyone’s enthusiasm got on my nerves. Sure, it solved a problem, but it wasn’t my problem. I didn’t care about all the djinn who wanted to come and take over the town. There wasn’t a fast food chain in the whole world that was going to take care of my djinn problem.
I was so happy when they didn’t make me go hang out at the job fair. For the first time since the whole mess started, I was going to have some time to myself. Well, almost to myself. Seth decided to stay home and play babysitter. It was pointless to argue anymore. At least Seth mostly kept to himself and didn’t bother me like Des and Nai did.
I planned to spend the day trying to figure out a way to get rid of Howie. So far, nothing had turned up in the fairytales, so I expanded my search to the internet. Still I couldn’t find much, but after some digging, I found a theory
posted on a message board a few years back. Granted, it was a message board for fan fiction writers for a popular fantasy series, and nearly everyone who replied said it was a dumb theory, but it kind of made sense. The theory claimed that by getting a djinn to do something selfless, they would fulfill their own contract.
I tried to see if I could find any other information, but I was coming up blank. Of course, it didn’t help that Louise showed up and started screeching about Big Royal Burger.
“I was skeptical of their plan working,” I heard Seth explain. “But if everyone else is as excited as you are…”
“We’ll have a town full of fat chicks,” I called out cracking myself up. Seth wasn’t amused. I didn’t care. It was his fault for giving me such a good set up. Seriously. The way Louise ate, it was pretty obvious the only reason she stayed thin was with some spell or something. But I should have kept my mouth shut because instead of leaving me alone, Seth decided I wasn’t mature enough to stay home alone and dragged me out to the car, where Louise was babbling about unstable rifts.
“Wait, are we going up to the bowling alley?” I asked as Seth turned onto the highway. “I can’t go up there!”
“It’ll be fine, Jem,” Seth said with a smile in the rearview mirror. “Most the djinn should be gone by now.” But I totally heard him say, “I hope,” under his breath.
“Whatever,” I mumbled and went back to my search, only to find we were out of cell range.
When we got there, Donna pulled in behind us and Seth yelled something to her before chasing Louise across the parking lot. I planned to wait in the car, but the witches had other ideas.
“Come on, kiddo,” Betty said, opening the car door and snapping her fingers at me.
Rise of the Discordant: The Complete Five Book Series Page 50
