“Um, excuse me, but I’m not a dog,” I said, pushing her hand out of my face.
“Sorry, Jem, but we need to get inside before Louise does something crazy,” Donna said.
“So what? Go. I’m not stopping you.”
“Wrong answer,” Betty said and grabbed the sensitive skin on the back of my arm in a pinch hold.
“Ow! Geeze! I’m coming! Was that necessary?”
“It’s this or magic,” she threatened. “Or you could just walk in there like a good little boy.”
“So even you are going to be a bitch to me?”
“Hey!” she snapped, jabbing her fingernails into my arm. “We don’t use that word, got it?”
“Fine! Whatever.”
But really, that’s what she was being. A first class bitch. They all were. I didn’t have time to think about it though, because as we walked into the beat up old building that was supposed to be a bowling alley, my head felt like it was going to explode. Not just because there was a ton of magic flying around, but because Louise was shrieking some nonsense about statistics and proof at this guy who looked like he wanted to put a muzzle on her. I assumed that was Eller, the owner of the bowling alley. He wasn’t the only one. Her voice was really shrill and getting worse the more upset she got.
“Oh goddess, not this again,” Donna groaned and grabbed her head like she had a headache. Betty let go of my arm and grabbed her own head, looking like she was going to toss her cookies.
“Huh? What’s going on?” I asked, but no one was paying any attention to me. Eller and Louise continued to argue. Desmond was muttering into his pocket and Seth was having some sort of freak out.
“Can Arkady get us the tools to close or at least contain the rift?”
So that was what I was feeling. The Ultimate Truth didn’t have any effect on us, but if the witches were exposed to it, they’d lose their minds like our guidance counselor had. Even though they were acting snotty towards me, I didn’t wish that kind of fate on anyone.
“Maybe I can do it,” I said. Admittedly, it was dangerous. The only way I knew of to close the rift involved the ‘W’ word. As if on cue, there was a plink sound and Howie appeared. Both Seth and Desmond looked as if I’d just suggested we eat puppies for dinner.
“Need something, Jem?” Howie asked, looking altogether too happy to oblige, which made me suddenly nervous.
“Jem…” Desmond’s voice held a warning tone. “You don’t want to do this.”
“I um…” I looked at Howie and then back at the witches. Louise was still arguing with Eller and hadn’t noticed the rift, but both Donna and Betty were starting to shake and sweat. For some reason, I got this weird feeling right under my ribs, kind of like when I was a kid and I would get panicky. I didn’t really know why I felt like that, but I knew I had to do something because I didn’t like it. “I wish the rif-mmppfff!”
“Okay, everyone hold your horses!”
Bogie jumped between us and slapped his hand over my mouth, glaring at his uncle.
“Don’t make me do it,” he growled
Do what? I tried to ask, but it came out, “Hmu mrf?”
“You wouldn’t dare,” Howie taunted.
“You sure about that?” Bogie turned back to me. “Jem, you gotta be really careful here. If you make the wish I think yous is gonna make, that’s it. His contract is filled and you is the next to get bottled. Except with your soul, you know what ain’t happening.”
“Mrai meea mayay.”
“What? Oh, sorry!” Bogie took his hand off my mouth.
“I’d be a gateway,” I said with a gasp for air and a sudden sinking feeling. I had to wonder if that was what the weird feeling in my chest was. I wasn’t ready to kill myself. “But if…” The feeling in my gut got worse. I looked over at Eller. He and Louise had stopped arguing and she now had her hands on her head like the others. “Couldn’t he just… you know, keep them away from me.”
“He can save the town, but he can’t save you,” Bogie said.
“What’s it worth to ya kid?” Howie asked, eyeing the witches. Seth, Desmond, and even Nai were all chanting a spell, trying to keep the witches distracted, but it didn’t look like it was working.
“Would you just let them lose their minds?” I asked, thinking about what I read. Perhaps if Howie understood the gravity of the situation, he’d close the rift on his own and break his contract with me.
“Do they get to keep their looks?” Howie asked. “I ain’t got no problem with crazy broads.”
So much for that idea. The wink and his flippant tone pretty much told me he wasn’t about to have a moment of charity.
“I’m warning you,” Bogie threatened, pulling something out of his pocket. I didn’t see what it was, but it didn’t matter. At that moment the full force of the rift must have hit because all three witches screamed and fell to the floor.
“Howie! Close the rift!”
I didn’t think. I couldn’t. The words were out of my mouth before the consequences could be weighed. I might have been an ass, but I couldn’t watch my friends lose their minds and do nothing about it.
“As you w-uh!” Howie began, but Bogie cut him off.
“Oh no ya don’t!”
The item he had in his hand was a bottle that looked a lot like the original bottle I’d purchased at the Antique Emporium. Bogie pulled out the stopper and Howie was immediately sucked inside. To everyone’s surprise, Bogie was sucked up as well. Even the powerful draw of the Ultimate Truth was temporarily ignored as everyone turned in unison to watch the small, ornate blue bottle clatter to the floor.
As soon as it hit the floor, there was a flash and a loud bang and I was thrown against the wall, hitting my head with enough force that I blacked out. I don’t know how long I was out, but when I came to, I felt really weird. The strange panicky feeling was gone, but there was a heaviness in my chest, as if every emotion I’d ever felt in my life was waging a war for dominance.
I sat up and looked around. The bowling alley was in shambles. Tables and chairs were thrown about. The trophy case was shattered and trophies lay scattered amongst the rubble that used to be the counter. It wasn’t until I saw Donna, lying in a crumpled heap with a trickle of blood running down her temple, that everything came back to me.
“The rift!” I shouted and tried to get up, but the ringing in my own ears caused me such dizziness that I fell right back down.
“It’s closed. I closed it. Just relax,” I heard Bogie say.
“You closed it?” I looked up in confusion and nearly passed out again from shock. “What the? You… You’re… Bogie? What happened?”
Either I hit my head harder than I thought or something had gone terribly wrong. Bogie was now the same weird shade of purple as his uncle had been and he hovered a few inches off the floor. Sprawled out behind him was Howie, whose complexion was a normal demonic red color. Well, sort of. He was looking a little pale and really nervous.
“Look, Jem, it’s okay,” he said quickly. “I know what you’re thinking but it ain’t…”
“But why?” I asked, stunned as the enormity of what Bogie did hit me. In my search for a method of breaking the debenture, I’d read that the djinn had a rule that allowed the party responsible for the entrapment to take on the debt themselves. From what I read, this hardly ever happened because no one wanted to be a djinn. Bogie sacrificed himself to save me.
“Bogie,” I choked, feeling the sick churning of guilt in my guts. “I… I don’t… I’m not worth this!”
“Like I said, it ain’t what you think,” he began, but he was cut off when Nai suddenly sat up and gave me a strange look.
“Jem?” She turned to Bogie in confusion. “Did he wish his own personality back yet?”
“Nah, he didn’t…” Bogie answered, looking just as confused as Nai.
“I did it,” Howie said with a grimace as he sat upright. “I… I couldn’t… Ah hell!”
“You mean you reversed the
wish even though I didn’t ask you to?”
“Hey, now, don’t be making nothing out of it,” he said gruffly. “I got enough on what little conscience I got. I don’t need knowing I made hash of your life as well.”
“Well no, it’s not that, it’s just…” I began but trailed off, thinking about one of the folktales I’d read. Howie reversing the wish meant that he fulfilled his contract and broke his bond with me, meaning Bogie’s sacrifice was for nothing.
I felt awful.
“Look, just forget it, kid.” Howie said, making a shooing motion with his hand. “I got enough to worry about at the moment without rumors going around that I’m getting soft. In fact, I really should be skedaddling…”
“Now hang on,” Bogie cut in. “Before we all go getting maudlin, there’s somethin’…” he began, but cut off when a sudden rumbling erupted from the wreckage where the trophy case had been.
“Oh no!”
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Eller dive onto the pile, but there was a sharp hiss followed by a loud crack and suddenly the air was pierced by an ear-splitting shriek.
“How-waaaaaaaaaaaaaard!”
“I’m sorry,” Eller sputtered, holding a broken trophy cup in his hands. “I tried to stop her…”
Above his head, the thick mist that issued from the trophy manifested into the shape of a tall woman with sickly green skin, glaring daggers at Howie.
Chapter 13
Loopholes & Loyalties
I don’t know what I was expecting, but it certainly weren’t for Jem to pipe up and offer to close the rift. But when Uncle Howie showed up all of the sudden, I got a really bad feeling that the kid weren’t bluffing and that put me into one hell of a pickle. Either I did nothin’ and let Jem do himself in, or I save the kid and throw Uncle Howie under the bus. Either way, I weren’t exactly in an enviable position.
“Howie! Close the rift!”
Okay, so he wasn’t bluffing. I didn’t have but a split second to make my decision. All this pressure was about to make me go crazy. That is, more crazy than I already was. But before I could do nothing, the air did that shimmering thing again and I was once again whisked away.
* * *
The demon found himself back in the fog between worlds. Outside the Cycle, but also outside the confines of Order. In the distance, the shadowy figure stood tall, it’s hands clasped behind its back as if it had expected and was patiently awaiting his arrival.
“I know what yous want,” Bogie called out. His voice seemed flat and stifled by the fog and he wondered if it even carried far enough for the figure in the distance to hear.
“And I know what you is offerin’ me. I get that and it’s pretty generous. I mean, I get it. You don’t have to accept me into your club no matter what I choose. It’s just… I... I’m not weak, see…” Bogie looked up, squinting through the fog, hoping to catch a glimpse of the shadowed figure in the distance through his watering eyes. “I ain’t weak, but I can’t do it. I know what kind of wrath I’d be bringing down on my uncle’s head and I know that some of them guys he crossed mean business. I ain’t no murderer. I ain’t gonna be the one who gets Great Uncle Howie whacked. I don’t care how much of a jerk-wad he can be.”
There was a blinding flash of light and in an instant, the foggy, otherworldly quality lifted and Bogie found himself standing face to face with the Creator, who now wore a softer expression and a more familiar face.
“Uh…” Bogie looked around at the lush, familiar setting of the Beverly Hilton, which had always been one of his favorite places to sneak into. “What just happened?”
The Creator smiled. “I can’t say for sure, Hubert. As I explained upon our last meeting, I am unable to influence where your loyalty lay. However, if I was to hazard a guess, what’s that old saying? There is more than one way to skin a cat.”
“Eh, that’s kinda gross, and not to mention cruel,” Bogie quipped, rolling around the Creator’s meaning in his head.
“Well, choose one of your own, but I think you understand my meaning. You are not unintelligent,” the Creator said with a kind smile, adding with amusement, “Despite what a certain Warrior may say to the contrary.”
“Heh,” Bogie laughed. “I guess I do get up in Des’ craw, don’t I? But about that cat skinning business. I ain’t so sure I knows of another way to get Jem outta this mess if not for takin’ up the djinn mantle on my own. Except I’m guessin’ you know how that goes.”
The Creator smiled. “Not even I can say definitively what has not yet come to pass. However, sometimes things have a way of turning out differently than we expect and sometimes, the solutions to our worries are closer than we think. I’ll leave you to reflect upon this. When you are ready, you will be returned to the Cycle. No time will have passed, but I do suspect that you’ll see now with open eyes the paths laid out before you.”
With that, the Creator took a step back, through the open balcony doors and faded into the scenery beyond.
“Huh,” Bogie said, looking out at, but not actually seeing the city where he’d spent nearly all of his life as a mature lesser demon, so lost in the meaning of the Creator’s words that he barely had a passing thought to spare for anything else. He turned back to the suite, noting that a familiar blue bottle, which was not part of the hotel’s standard décor, sat on a side table.
“This is some sort of a test, ain’t it?” he asked out loud, but there was nothing except the sounds of the traffic below in reply.
* * *
This time when I returned to the Cycle, I was kind of slammed back into my body in a not so pleasant way. I guess that had more to do with the urgency of the situation we was all in. But I didn’t have time to think about that.
“Howie! Close the rift!”
“As you w-uh!”
“Oh no ya don’t!” I said and reached into my pocket. Sure enough, the bottle was there. I didn’t remember taking it with me, but I had a feeling I’d find it. I pulled out the stopper and held on tight as Uncle Howie was sucked up like a sock in a shop vac. This weren’t gonna be comfortable to say the least. No sooner was Howie in the bottle, I uttered the incantation to take on the debt, and I was sucked in with him.
“Oof! Watch the knees!”
“Sorry! It ain’t like I got any more room than you does!”
“Sorry? You’re about to get me on the radar of a lotta folks who has it in for me and all you can say is sorry?”
“Yeah, as a matter of fact, I am sorry, but I ain’t apologizin’ for what I did,” I said.
“What? That don’t make any sense, you knucklehead!”
“With all due respect,” I said, twisting myself so as my spine was no longer jackknifed, “I couldn’t let the kid do it. Besides, there’s no guarantee them mystics is gonna be able to do anything to stop the flow if he were to become a portal anyhow. Now stop squirming for a minute and lemme see if I can make this more comfortable for the both of us.”
I really hoped I hadn’t read the Creator’s hints wrong, ‘cuz it was gonna be a whole lot easier to explain my motives without Uncle Howie’s foot jammed up my nose. I reached up and felt for the opening of the bottle and yanked. Suddenly, we was both tumbling into plush Berber carpeting.
“How the hell did we end up at the Beverly Hilton?” asked Uncle Howie.
“Eh, long story,” I answered. “But seeing as we’re outside the Cycle, we got plenty of time, so...”
“Whaddya mean by outside the Cycle? Outside the Cycle either means the realm or some Order crap and this sure ain’t the realm. So what? You loyal to Order now or something?”
“Yeah, as a matter of fact, I am,” I said, realizing it was the truth. Don’t judge me! I knew I was getting off lucky and I knew there would be a price to pay at some point.
“And so you’re just gonna throw me, your favorite uncle, to the wolves?”
“It ain’t like that,” I said. “The whole point of bringing you here is to give you a chance.”
&nb
sp; “A chance?” Howie scoffed and shook his head at me. “A chance for what? With the price you just put on my head, the only chance I got is to lay low somewhere around Siberia for the next couple three or four decades.”
“Or you could trust me,” I said. “Look, Uncle Howie, you seen the way Ajhe operates. He threw you out just for laughing when he threw me out.”
Uncle Howie eyed me suspiciously. “Tell me you ain’t getting at what I think you is getting at.”
“I’m just sayin’ there’s another way and it don’t involve ending up on the wrong side of all the folks you has crossed,” I said with a meaningful look.
“You is getting at what I thought. Feh!” he said with a look that told me just where I could shove my plan. “And I’m just supposed to trust that the jerk-faced Warrior ain’t gonna rat me out or worse?”
“You know, Des ain’t half bad when you get to know him.”
“You been lobotomized or something?”
“Okay, sure, he has his days, but, Uncle Howie, we don’t have much of a choice here.”
He grumbled somethin’ under his breath about nitwit nephews throwing him to the wolves and turned to the open balcony doors, looking out over the misty scene below.
“What’s this? Order couldn’t even get you a room with a pool view?” When he turned back, he had a strange expression on his face. Strange, at least, for Uncle Howie.
“Ah hell, kid,” he said, giving me the once over. “You really believe you’re doing the right thing, don’t ya?”
“I do.”
“Heh,” he said, shakin’ his head, but at least he cracked a smile. “You know, it suits you. You always was oddball.”
“I’d be offended, but you’re right,” I said with a shrug. At that point, there was no denying I just weren’t meant to be Discordant. “So, you gonna join up then?”
“What, are you nuts?” Howie puffed out his chest and heaved a bellowing laugh. “This gig may pan out for you, but it ain’t my style. I know what I is and I know what I done. I fully intend to face the consequentials. And by face the consequentials, I mean lay low, make a few shady connections, and scheme my way back into the realm.”
Rise of the Discordant: The Complete Five Book Series Page 51
